Have you no shame? - OGSF 5G | EPRHA 2.0

[Raz]

Its the lack of purpose I'm feeling that I just despise atm. So many things done just because we "should", so many relationships so shallow because we "shouldn't", and so many people thinking they're so important they're entitled to being assholes. If a cashier at a supermarket charges another person for food, then there's some use to it all. The other person gets to eat at least, maybe make a really good meal. If an office worker goes to a meeting that's of less use than a single email, a researcher works on something that's never gonna be used, an engineer designs a product that's meant to be disposable trash, or someone in administration just works to make everyone's life even harder.. there's just no gratification to it. So you gotta find something you like to do outside work, but the normal stuff doesn't have all that much going for it either. So you go to the gym, you're big. Bigger than that other guy. So you got laid this weekend. So you knit yourself an umbrella. Wonderful. Gotta try 'n collect my victories from doing something useful and not to worry about this rat race stuff.

'What is my purpose?' is a really tough nut to crack. I have been using all kinds of tools in order to crack the shell of this one. But all I reached were exactly those thoughts you laid out above there. There is more to this though. There are societal expectations, external gratification and approval streamlining your flow of thoughts here. But do those really matter to you?

I still do not know consciously what my purpose in life is, except the part of living and doing things I like and learning/experiencing and growing and exploring. So I take a road that is stimulating for me. That is all that matters.

Hang in there, I am sure with the help of E2 you will untangle this knot eventually.