04-01-2016, 06:13 PM
Update For The Week
A friend I haven't talked to in a while contacted me to share the company he's working with, it's affiliate marketing. In my mind I thought "Oh, I already know I'm gonna see his video and then just say no". But the thing is his company ticked off a couple of things that no other company did that I thought were important. Essentially, the only thing for me to risk would be my time. So I'm thinking about it.
I only had 1 headache and that was on Thursday. Maybe it was because I didn't have much water until later in the day, not sure. I had only 1 headache last week as well.
This week was less rough than the last. I still felt some anger, resentment, and discomfort towards some girls though.
Earlier in the week, I felt like I was generating that feeling within myself of feeling at ease and getting into a flow. I had this feeling daily back when I was doing everything I could to learn game. I see the difference now though. Back then, I relied on being in as many interactions with people as possible to feel awesome. I did it to be in a constant flowstate. I only was able to maintain that state by hanging out and approaching new girls on a very regular basis. My state was dependent on interacting with others. I enjoyed their reactions and I thrived off it, whether good or bad.
I'm thinking that with E2, I'm going to get to the point that I'm in the flowstate just by getting ready for class in the morning and going. By consistently meditating and doing tai chi every day. By reading books from high vibrating sources. By observing nature and understanding how we are all the same.
I felt like the ego came back this week. I had more subjective thoughts towards people like "oh, she's fat" or even separative thoughts that compared me to others. Like I remembered Julien did his World Tour going to a new city pretty much every day non stop and how he was exhausted. I compared that to my schedule this week which was essentially listen to subs, try to get 8 hrs of sleep, wake up, gym, hurry for class, wait until it's time to break my fast, eat, work on my term paper, etc. This week has been a bit unbalanced towards work I think, but it's finally the weekend! The point is thinking about Julien even though I compared myself to him, I kept going and I did what I had to. I also had some narcissistic thoughts. Julien said to do hot yoga. I thought to myself "When I go, they gotta start calling it hotter yoga. People are gonna pass out once I start going". Those are the kinds of things I said before I started trying to let go of ego, so I don't know if it's counterproductive or not. It was funny though!
I went to my library and they actually had a couple of useful books I wanted to read: the Steve Jobs biography and Lover, King, Magician, and Warrior.
Current Thoughts
I want to build my masculine energy. Now that I have time to, I'll look up some sacral chakra meditations (Sarge's advice).
I'm actually doing it. I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 2 weeks. I just watched a teal swan video and she said that people do those things to avoid or escape something and that it's important to focus on deal with the underlying issue. I know and understand that the reason I did watch porn and masturbate was because I didn't have any girls around that I'd enjoy fcking to fck. That's it. I'm doing all I know how to let this go.
I currently feel like I have a lot of sexual energy (because I want to fck). So I'm going to look into sexual transmutation/manifestation. It would be fabulous if I could use this sexual energy to manifest a few hot girls to fck. That would just be so convenient
If that's not possible, then maybe transmute it into masculine energy or to help heal me faster. Any of those would be fine.
For a while, I thought not talking to girls would cause me to stagnate. I now see that I definitely needed a break from that. I don't know when I'll go back to just letting loose like that, but when I do, I'll be at the point where I can break those plateaus from before and excel.
Gonna do some research into Noopept. I really wanna try these nootropics out
Note to self: Always get in 12 hours of ultrasonic track during the week regardless.
A friend I haven't talked to in a while contacted me to share the company he's working with, it's affiliate marketing. In my mind I thought "Oh, I already know I'm gonna see his video and then just say no". But the thing is his company ticked off a couple of things that no other company did that I thought were important. Essentially, the only thing for me to risk would be my time. So I'm thinking about it.
I only had 1 headache and that was on Thursday. Maybe it was because I didn't have much water until later in the day, not sure. I had only 1 headache last week as well.
This week was less rough than the last. I still felt some anger, resentment, and discomfort towards some girls though.
Earlier in the week, I felt like I was generating that feeling within myself of feeling at ease and getting into a flow. I had this feeling daily back when I was doing everything I could to learn game. I see the difference now though. Back then, I relied on being in as many interactions with people as possible to feel awesome. I did it to be in a constant flowstate. I only was able to maintain that state by hanging out and approaching new girls on a very regular basis. My state was dependent on interacting with others. I enjoyed their reactions and I thrived off it, whether good or bad.
I'm thinking that with E2, I'm going to get to the point that I'm in the flowstate just by getting ready for class in the morning and going. By consistently meditating and doing tai chi every day. By reading books from high vibrating sources. By observing nature and understanding how we are all the same.
I felt like the ego came back this week. I had more subjective thoughts towards people like "oh, she's fat" or even separative thoughts that compared me to others. Like I remembered Julien did his World Tour going to a new city pretty much every day non stop and how he was exhausted. I compared that to my schedule this week which was essentially listen to subs, try to get 8 hrs of sleep, wake up, gym, hurry for class, wait until it's time to break my fast, eat, work on my term paper, etc. This week has been a bit unbalanced towards work I think, but it's finally the weekend! The point is thinking about Julien even though I compared myself to him, I kept going and I did what I had to. I also had some narcissistic thoughts. Julien said to do hot yoga. I thought to myself "When I go, they gotta start calling it hotter yoga. People are gonna pass out once I start going". Those are the kinds of things I said before I started trying to let go of ego, so I don't know if it's counterproductive or not. It was funny though!
I went to my library and they actually had a couple of useful books I wanted to read: the Steve Jobs biography and Lover, King, Magician, and Warrior.
Current Thoughts
I want to build my masculine energy. Now that I have time to, I'll look up some sacral chakra meditations (Sarge's advice).
I'm actually doing it. I haven't masturbated or watched porn in 2 weeks. I just watched a teal swan video and she said that people do those things to avoid or escape something and that it's important to focus on deal with the underlying issue. I know and understand that the reason I did watch porn and masturbate was because I didn't have any girls around that I'd enjoy fcking to fck. That's it. I'm doing all I know how to let this go.
I currently feel like I have a lot of sexual energy (because I want to fck). So I'm going to look into sexual transmutation/manifestation. It would be fabulous if I could use this sexual energy to manifest a few hot girls to fck. That would just be so convenient
If that's not possible, then maybe transmute it into masculine energy or to help heal me faster. Any of those would be fine.For a while, I thought not talking to girls would cause me to stagnate. I now see that I definitely needed a break from that. I don't know when I'll go back to just letting loose like that, but when I do, I'll be at the point where I can break those plateaus from before and excel.
Gonna do some research into Noopept. I really wanna try these nootropics out
Note to self: Always get in 12 hours of ultrasonic track during the week regardless.
