Have you no shame? - OGSF 5G | EPRHA 2.0

[LionKing]

Now I'm just journaling for myself, but it just feels like I'm so alone in this, in a way. I have a few people who I could, and will, talk about how I feel about this, but I don't think any of them will have any real answers as to what I could do. Its all me, that's what I'm supposed to know. And even in general, people will just go to school and pick something that's supposed to be good for them, and they work hard to get enough cred to a job in that field and then they stick with it and are happy. Can't try anything else after that, because you don't have the experience in that new field. I could even get a job cleaning floors, because of my level of education and work history, so they wouldn't believe I'd stay in that job. And I wouldn't, of course. Entrepreneurial efforts make little sense where I live. But its all backwards. Like with age all the good women will either be taken, or, because dating is broken, they'll develop massive egos and become cynical. Seems like one can't be like a child anymore, in way, in anything, but were supposed to be fulfilled with this business of striving to get something that doesn't matter.

At the moment dance practice is really the only place I feel like I can be myself anymore. I have some connections but I don't have to chase anyone, no one's demanding stupid chores of me and I can just flow and try to do what I do a little better bit by bit. I feel My Girl / mltr/oltr/whatever also allows me to be who I want to be, so that's good too. I just want to drop all this useless complexity.

Feeling better btw, this is therapeutic. Gonna call a friend to have some coffee.