Ricardo's - AM 6 Journal [FINISHED]

[Ricardo]

Thanks Natious. Oh I'm sure there's still loads of crap festering away in my mind, but it's strange to me making so much progress in the first 2 stages to it feeling like suddenly having the rug pulled out from under me. I do still feel different than when I started, more mature as a man. A maturity that would have helped loads years ago but there you go better late than never.

I see from your journal you are a little behind me so I'll be interested in how stage 3 affects you. As we all respond differently you may be fine.

[DarthXedonias]

You will get through it, I remember Stage 3 being the hardest stage for me so far. To be honest, that was the one stage where I was seriously considering stopping. The combination of the constant agitation, annoyance, and the flaring up of my PTSD symptoms for 3 weeks made it pretty hard but it was worth it. If you get the same results I did from that stage I can pretty much tell you that it will definitely increase your "Don't take BS" attitude to a whole different level.

[Natious]

Seems like the first 3-5 stages go uphill for most people, depending on how much there is to dissemble and reassemble. Personally I'm surprised that I've had to deal with such deep issues already as you've sen in my journal. I thought It wouldn't be until 2/3 runthroughs that these things get touched on.

Basically the harder your past has been on you and the less you have actually faced it the longer and harder the initial transition will be with AM6. I can say with 90% certainty that the people who get extreme results from first runs on the 6 stagers have already dealt with their issues during their life, some people just do it by instinct. Me on the other hand, I have swiped everything under the carpet and wiped my shoes on it, I guess that was my coping toolset.
So yeah, that's probably why it's such a challenge

[DarthXedonias]

I think your mostly right Natious though I would also add in how much you listen to the sub and your individual personality. For example, i'm getting extreme results despite how bad my past was and being a social outcast most of my life. I'm starting to think this is because I practically listen to the sub 20 - 21 Hrs each day and the way my personality seems to work is that I make most changes through contemplating them or coming to a realization that changes my perspective. A good example, that also pertains somewhat to this thread, is the realization that finally ended my 3 week resistance to Stage 3. One day I just took a nap and for some reason as soon as I woke up I had this realization that i'm too logical and rational. I realized there comes a time when you need to get angry to let people know they've crossed your boundaries and that its OK to express emotion.

The reason it took 3 weeks is because I had a major fear that was masquerading as logic. It was the fear that if I show those emotions on the surface I would lose control. Which as i type this I just realized something else. Before AM6, in those rare times I would show emotion I would lose control but it wasn't because of the emotions themselves. It was because I had kept bottling them up but at the time I couldn't realize this, so i just blamed the emotions themselves. This all just reinforced my major fear even more.

I don't know if its going to quite effect you or Ricardo the same way but by the end of stage 3 you both probably won't have much tolerance for BS like you use to I can tell you that much

[Nationwide]

Oh I'm sure there's still loads of crap festering away in my mind, but it's strange to me making so much progress in the first 2 stages to it feeling like suddenly having the rug pulled out from under me.

May sound counterintuitive, but this is a good thing IMHO.

My experience has been that the rough spots are proof that the sub is doing what it is supposed to be doing. This will be born out further along your path.

I was amused by your "Do you remember the Indigo Mind Labs subliminal scam?..." feelings as expressed in a previous message. That is almost word for word what I felt at that stage.

Just keep going Ricardo. It may not seem like it, but you're doing great.

Nationwide

[swisston]

I'm questioning what I want from AM. Do I want to be an Alpha Male in the truest sense? Don't winners get challenged, invite jealousies and troubles?

Nope. In fact, as a real man (and not a peacocking jerk) people will respect you and look up to you. That is my experience.

There may be some jealousy, but it is more inspirational admiration than negative jealousy in my experience. Of course, that could just be my outright cockiness talking...

[adam225]

Oh I'm sure there's still loads of crap festering away in my mind, but it's strange to me making so much progress in the first 2 stages to it feeling like suddenly having the rug pulled out from under me.

May sound counterintuitive, but this is a good thing IMHO.

My experience has been that the rough spots are proof that the sub is doing what it is supposed to be doing. This will be born out further along your path.

I was amused by your "Do you remember the Indigo Mind Labs subliminal scam?..." feelings as expressed in a previous message. That is almost word for word what I felt at that stage.

Just keep going Ricardo. It may not seem like it, but you're doing great.

Nationwide

I've been through that many times. It took me a while to convince myself that people on here were real and not just faking results to sell the programs. I'm now convinced anyway, & I plan to continue using these programs - they are hands down the best out of everything that I have tried.

[Ricardo]

Oh I'm sure there's still loads of crap festering away in my mind, but it's strange to me making so much progress in the first 2 stages to it feeling like suddenly having the rug pulled out from under me.

May sound counterintuitive, but this is a good thing IMHO.

My experience has been that the rough spots are proof that the sub is doing what it is supposed to be doing. This will be born out further along your path.

I was amused by your "Do you remember the Indigo Mind Labs subliminal scam?..." feelings as expressed in a previous message. That is almost word for word what I felt at that stage.

Just keep going Ricardo. It may not seem like it, but you're doing great.

Nationwide

Thanks Brad. I'm starting to envy those who have completed or nearly completed AM6 to be honest. I just want to get through this and experience the pleasures of WM, not splash around in a sea of anxiety for goodness knows how long.

[Ricardo]

I'm questioning what I want from AM. Do I want to be an Alpha Male in the truest sense? Don't winners get challenged, invite jealousies and troubles?

Nope. In fact, as a real man (and not a peacocking jerk) people will respect you and look up to you. That is my experience.

There may be some jealousy, but it is more inspirational admiration than negative jealousy in my experience. Of course, that could just be my outright cockiness talking...

I like the inspirational admiration bit! Part of the AM script is disconnecting from others negativity, so that seems to have worked on you

[Ricardo]

You will get through it, I remember Stage 3 being the hardest stage for me so far. To be honest, that was the one stage where I was seriously considering stopping. The combination of the constant agitation, annoyance, and the flaring up of my PTSD symptoms for 3 weeks made it pretty hard but it was worth it. If you get the same results I did from that stage I can pretty much tell you that it will definitely increase your "Don't take BS" attitude to a whole different level.

Well my BS intolerance is still high but as I said in my update it feels tamed to the point of educating people as to the error of their ways, rather than telling them how stupid they are in a quick knee jerk reaction.

[Natious]

I found out that I always used to be intolerant of people bs, it's just now that I actually see it and do something about it. Used to just try and avoid those feelings and feel pity for myself which then turned into hate for the people that did something that bothered me. Maybe it's something similar with you?

I kind of compared myself from before to now and the results are there. I never used to express myself about the things that bothered me, but rather tried to show that no1 can make me feel bad (made it 10 times worse though). Now either things don't bother me that much or I express myself when there's something that does.

[Nationwide]

I'm starting to envy those who have completed or nearly completed AM6 to be honest. I just want to get through this and experience the pleasures of WM, not splash around in a sea of anxiety for goodness knows how long.

It's about to get better for you, I believe.

What's the saying? "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to do what it takes to get there." You're doing what it takes to get there.

Nationwide

[Ricardo]

Really hope you're right!

[Ricardo]

Stage 3 Day 14

Quick update...

I forgot to add in my last update that for the last few days before (and it's only just wearing off now), I felt a slight pressure in my throat like someone pressing their finger lightly on it. Then at one point for about half an hour it felt like my throat was expanding up to twice the size and swallowing felt really strange. It wasn't an infection or a cold virus and there was no ill effects but it was unnerving.

My anxiety has eased somewhat and I'm finding that it's morphing into a rebellious streak. I just want to tear the rule book up and cause as much shit as possible in my life. Not a nasty shit, just want to wake the sheep up and stop them wasting their time. I think the part of not caring what people think has kicked in more as I'm being more forthright in what I say and do. Don't get me wrong I'm not being nasty to people, but subtly trying to wake them up. I've got a bit of the devil in me at the moment

I don't know if this stage has finished with me yet but I'm really looking forward to stage 4 and I'm getting impatient with finishing stage 3. It's a very strange thing because this stage is like being pinned up against a wall and continually slapped on each side of the face then dropped on the floor. I don't feel anxious or depressed right now but realllly impatient to get onto the next stage.

There has been some deep shifts in my being that are hard to verbalise. One word I could use is Maturity and another would be Clarity. I can see so much more clearly now my mistakes of the past when it came to women and other areas of my life. I had this strange belief that I would always be alright. This is from as long as I can remember. I always absolutely believed that things would fall to me and happen in my life without any real effort on my part..the life things like marriage, children, houses etc. Thankfully that foolhardy belief has gone