From today's reading, I had an interesting thought on the "oh shit, I just came home and the gf is in a mood again" problem. The guy from Masculine intent is basically saying the same thing as David Deida, which is to be present for her and guide her feelings out of their current, bad state. Mostly ignore the words she says and instead "ground her". Now, stratos said something about tapping lately that came to mind:
Now, often it seems that they're pretty bad at just "sitting with it" and letting go of those emotional storms themselves, and, according to the above-mentioned literature, that's what were good for anyway. So, as a man you could keep eye contact, emotional contact, maybe physical contact and feel, "sit with", her emotions in a detached way and thus guide HER to "sit with" them and let go, or clear, them with you. I.e. she could clear them herself in 3 hours, but with you as her "tapping" or "click track" she can clear them in 5-30 minutes. Maybe use a pattern interrupt to speed the process (make her laugh). She will "feel heard" and then you'll be free to do something else ;) Its a great feeling when you tap & get that huge release from a troubling emotion... I think I'd feel all kinds of grateful and lovey if someone made that happen in me, too.
(09-06-2014, 04:55 AM)stratos Wrote: sitting with difficult emotions IS a way of clearing them. tapping while you're "sitting with" them will help your vagal nerve (an up-down nerve in your body) and left-right brain connection move the process along a bit faster, but tapping isn't actually required to clear them, it just accelerates the natural benefit of "sitting with" an emotion to clear it. for example I could "sit with" an emotion that takes 3 hours to clear, tapping while sitting with the emotion would help that happen in 30-60 minutes, or a click track in 5-30 minutes while "sitting with" it.
Now, often it seems that they're pretty bad at just "sitting with it" and letting go of those emotional storms themselves, and, according to the above-mentioned literature, that's what were good for anyway. So, as a man you could keep eye contact, emotional contact, maybe physical contact and feel, "sit with", her emotions in a detached way and thus guide HER to "sit with" them and let go, or clear, them with you. I.e. she could clear them herself in 3 hours, but with you as her "tapping" or "click track" she can clear them in 5-30 minutes. Maybe use a pattern interrupt to speed the process (make her laugh). She will "feel heard" and then you'll be free to do something else ;) Its a great feeling when you tap & get that huge release from a troubling emotion... I think I'd feel all kinds of grateful and lovey if someone made that happen in me, too.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.