EP UMS JOURNAL

[Shannon]

Remember that expectations are what lead to disappointments.  Be outcome independent, and roll with the punches.  Have no expectation or hope that you got the job; simply accept that what has been done has been done, and what comes of it is "what is", and move on.  That way, if you get the job, great!  If not, no big deal.  (And it really isn't.  There is always another opportunity, another option, another door to try.)  People get too invested in things and work up a set of expectations, when really they only try to control "what is" with their expectations, and if they don't know how to do that and fail, it only makes them unnecessarily upset.  

Accept what is, and be at peace.  Let go of efforts to control the world and "what is" through your expectations.  Work with "what is", instead of against it.  Let your emotions be still.

As I once advised Keith, don't try to push the river.  

Is this also a metaphor for dealing with what happened with my ex-friend?

No. It is literally the key to a lot of the happiness you could have in life.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Thanks for the advice Shannon. I'm not worried about the Publix thing. It is what it is. But I've been dealing with heavy issues regarding everything to do with my exfriend and my sense of self esteem for the last 3 days. To the point of being bedridden. It's really taking it out of me. Just finishing my stats homework takes all of what little energy I have. I think it's the aggressive version of E3 in UMS doing it's thing. It's really kicking my ass.

[Shannon]

Thanks for the advice Shannon. I'm not worried about the Publix thing. It is what it is. But I've been dealing with heavy issues regarding everything to do with my exfriend and my sense of self esteem for the last 3 days. To the point of being bedridden. It's really taking it out of me. Just finishing my stats homework takes all of what little energy I have. I think it's the aggressive version of E3 in UMS doing it's thing. It's really kicking my ass.

What is kicking your ass is the unwillingness of some subconscious part of you to change in the face of you carpet bombing with an incredibly powerful program.  

Bedridden from exhaustion?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

What is kicking your ass is the unwillingness of some subconscious part of you to change in the face of you carpet bombing with an incredibly powerful program.  

Bedridden from exhaustion?

No, it's not an exhaustion thing. It's a depression thing. I feel like hell. I also had the flu, but that wasn't really it either. The main reason for my lack of energy is depression. I feel terrible emotionally. Just terrible. 

If I carpetbomb my subconcious enough, will these deep seated issues change?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Anyway, it's amazing how well UMS id working so far, given how much I'm resisting it. Hopefully, once the resistance breaks down, things will change for the better immensely and rapidly.

[Shannon]

What is kicking your ass is the unwillingness of some subconscious part of you to change in the face of you carpet bombing with an incredibly powerful program.  

Bedridden from exhaustion?

No, it's not an exhaustion thing. It's a depression thing. I feel like hell. I also had the flu, but that wasn't really it either. The main reason for my lack of energy is depression. I feel terrible emotionally. Just terrible. 

If I carpetbomb my subconcious enough, will these deep seated issues change?

The depression is the result of your subconscious feeling hopeless to resist the changes that the program is making, and it's trying to express how it feels to get you to stop.

Carpet bombing was suggested for getting your subconscious to start processing instead of stonewalling.  I don't know what to suggest for you now as to whether or not to continue carpet bombing.  Obviously, make sure you always remain safe when you're doing this.  How much and how long have you carpet bombed this cycle?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Today's day 3 of carpetbombing. I usually run 6-8 loops.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

The depression is the result of your subconscious feeling hopeless to resist the changes that the program is making, and it's trying to express how it feels to get you to stop.

TBH that's not how it feels. IT feels more like hopelessness to MAKE the changes. Hopefully you're right though, and it means the subconcious will lose the battle and majour changes for the positive will be made subconciously.

[Shannon]

Hopelessness to make the changes sounds excuses from your subconscious based on unwillingness to change.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Hopelessness to make the changes sounds excuses from your subconscious based on unwillingness to change.

I see. That makes sense. Is there anything I can do CONSCIOUSLY to change this, other than playing the subliminals? 

What changes are my subconscious refusing to make and why? Do you have any idea? Do you have any idea how I can consciously work to convince my subconscious mind to be open to change?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Day 4 of "carpet bombing" Didnt even get a full 5 loops in, probably screwing up the effevtiveness of the carpetbomb. Tired, but that's cause Im waking up early. Gotta see the TA today before class about some questions I don't get on my stats HW due today.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So at least dor the time being today, I am having a MUCH easier time than usual keeping an open, loving heart and feeling unconsitional love and connextion between myself and others, including and especially my exfriend. I'm feeling worthy. Feeling loved. Feeling loving. Feeling like things are setting up for an eventual turnaround where all the issues are resolved, statting with the ones I have internally. I feel appreciative. I feel optimistic. I feel this story is still being written and yet is already written. I feel it is mine to write, but also purs to write. I smile, looking forward to the future I have with others and the future I am cocreating and shall get to cocreate. I look forward to all forms of power at my disposal to share with other powerful people ro help empower others and create a constantly growing collective of powerful people looking to serve, until the day comes that there is nobody left on this planet in nees of service and we are all ready and capable of individually and collectively cocrearing in ways that serve others beyond this planet. It doesn't feel so long off. It feels like the next checkpoint that we are ever more rapidly approaching and helping each other to approach. I look forwaed to playing my part in building this. I look forward to reconnexring with people and bringing loved ones with me. I look forward to showing the value of us at our lowest and showing the important role it plays in our journeys to becoming our best selves. To be appreciated, not looked down upon. Each step is to be cherished. I am filled with lovw right now. I feel happy

From the bottom of my heart, thank you Shannon. 

This is just the beginning. It's nice to know where I'm truly headed. And I know it will only get better than this. Everything in due timing. Starting with right now. I have faith right now. Everything's coming together. All burnes brisges xan be rebuilt. All wounds can be heales. It is within my power to heal what needs healing and it is my honour to do so, starting with myself. I love you all.

[Shannon]

Don't thank me. I just built the tool. You had to buy it, use it and execute it. Thank the parts of yourself that are executing.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Haven't gotten a call back yet from Publix. Called my friend Danny and he said that if I had gotten the position, chances are that Publix would've called back already because they're usually pretty good about that sort of thing. Nonetheless, I'm about to walk over there right now and ask what's up in person to see what my status is.

EDIT: At my friend's advice, I asked to speak to the manager and spoke to the store manager. She asked who interviewed me and when I told her his name, she said he wasn't here today so that's probably why he didn't call. She said he'll be working tomorrow and asked if I'd like them to get back to me tomorrow and I said yes. So it looks like I'm not out of this yet. We'll see what happens.