Alpha Female?? Anyone?

[Hypnoticeyes]

I am guessing Shannon you don't sell the Alpha Female as much as you do Alpha Male sub.

[Shannon]

I am guessing Shannon you don't sell the Alpha Female as much as you do Alpha Male sub.

well, given that the AM set has been around since 2008, and the AF set has been around since 2011...

and women don't generally care for making themselves "alpha"...

No. Not by a mile and a league.

[Jackie]

Starting stage 2 tonight. A lot of stuff being brought out. Everything I see as negative I'm being confronted with, like having an inner battle. I'm becoming less tolerant of behavior I see as taking advantage of me, or misrepresenting me in some way. I'm feeling more defensive than usual. Maybe it's because I'm not willing to put up with as much anymore. I'm feeling more confrontational and less afraid of it. I'd like to tell people at school not to make assumptions about me based on what they think their powers of perception tell them, I'd love if people communicated just a little bit more if not better, and I'd really love if certain people could have a little more faith in the abilities of other people and give them just half an iota of credit.

These are just a few examples of issues that have really come up inside of me, particularly around school, work, and family. Heck, every area of my life! Even though my relationship with my fiance is amazing, fun, and healthy, there are still those issues that we've both let slide away that I'm not letting happen anymore. Certain areas need to be made more of a priority, and it takes two, not one to make it happen.

I think all this discontent is going to be positive in the end. I'm realizing that I've shoved away too many things and put a smiley face on. It's amazing what we let go of when we really shouldn't. These things have obviously been building inside of me and I've been afraid to fully confront them. Maybe that is, until now.

Edited for being too specific about a particular person.

[Jackie]

BTW- none of these things have brought me any sense of freedom yet. I've actually been kinda angry and irritable lately. It's like going through high speed therapy, except you don't remember anything you talked about and all these emotions are floating around.

[Shannon]

As you've doubtless noticed... discontent gets things done that we might not want to do otherwise. The guys can tell you all about that with the first few stages of AM. But it's not forever. Just until you make the necessary changes for balancing your inner changes with your outer reality.

[Jackie]

After feeling kinda crappy earlier in the day, just posting about it seemed to lift it all away for awhile. I had an amazing night at school! So full of fun, laughing, and the super sweet surprise love note I found in my food from my fiance! If that's not enough to lift spirits, I don't know what would.

Maybe I just needed to vent instead of internally analyzing like I always do. Kinda nice to let all that go for awhile

[Jackie]

Another week and a half until starting stage 3. Results seem settle and gradual at this point. I'm noticing more moments of getting in a state of pure gratitude and happiness for all that I have in my life. I'm also able to shrug off things that bother me more quickly and focus on other things instead of over analyzing and second guessing myself. Also been standing up for myself and asking people to take more responsibility for their actions and not feel bad about doing so. Pretty liberating

[About]

Cool.

How's massage school coming along?

[Jackie]

Cool.

How's massage school coming along?

Great! Just coming back from clinicals and break and will be starting spa, then DT. Then another 2 weeks off. Wooohooo! How bout on your end?

[About]

Good! My body mechanics are finally coming together. Only 3 more clinic sessions, and we finish our last class on dec. 19th. I can't wait for the next break.

As of right now I'm super interested in myofascial work and orthopedic massage work.

What is "spa" and "DT"? I know what a spa is but what about in your context?

[Jackie]

Good! My body mechanics are finally coming together. Only 3 more clinic sessions, and we finish our last class on dec. 19th. I can't wait for the next break.

As of right now I'm super interested in myofascial work and orthopedic massage work.

What is "spa" and "DT"? I know what a spa is but what about in your context?

Spa is where we learn about hot rock massage, body wraps, aromatherapy, and 8ndian scalp massage. DT is deep tissue because everything up til now has just been basic swedish work. I'm really interested in myofascial too. We also took a polarity workshop which was amazing! I love the variety. Don't know much about orthopedics yet, but I can't wait to learn more treatment specific massage!

[About]

I see! That's cool how your school is completely different than the curriculum that I'm a part of. We did some hot rock massage in our clinical foundations class, most of my class determined that it was way to expensive and would only use hot stone treatments if our employers have it readily available.

Deep tissue work is certainly interesting. I found myself using strength instead of my body mechanics. I'm still making the switch especially for deeper work because when I do get it right, apparently it feels deeper to the client and at the same time is less work for me. It's such a hard concept to grasp for me!

[Patti]

It sounds like the sub is working well for you Jackie. And it doesn't seem to have any bothersome negativity that some of the guys got with their version. Or at least you haven't mentioned that?

[Jackie]

It sounds like the sub is working well for you Jackie. And it doesn't seem to have any bothersome negativity that some of the guys got with their version. Or at least you haven't mentioned that?

I haven't fully figured that out yet Patti. I definitely had a few days about a month ago that I kinda hit a low, but it's hard to fully attribute that to AF when I've had some other things going on in my life. I have noticed negativity in the sense of not wanting to put up with certain behaviors, but I actually see that as a positive thing. Overall, there's less self consciousness, detachment from outcome, and more emotional consistency that I've noticed so far.