Alpha Female?? Anyone?

[Patti]

Jackie, you sound exactly like me in so many area’s. I loved the extroverted introvert comment, that was classic. I always felt on the inside I was introverted, yet on the outside with many friends and being involved with so many things, it never appeared that way. I think sometimes, what we feel and what we portray are many times, two different things.

I’m envious that you can be using this program at your age. The age group your in now, was my favorite and to be able to change and rebuild yourself from where you are now is extraordinary.

I hope your posts will draw others like yourself into the forum because it needs more people like you.

Loven your posts! Keep em’ coming!!!

[Shannon]

Hmm, I like my version better Road trips can be really fun though, so I hope you're having a good time at least.

I'm glad you liked the story, I was a little unsure if it would offend you or not, but I should know better that you have a better sense of humor than that. I've always loved to write and haven't been as much. So that was fun. I'll have to finish it, so we can find out who this mysterious person was who hijacked your car. I'm guessing someone from the forum will be stalking you! haha.

Drive safe!

Another stalker? Ugh. Well as long as they follow my rules.

(Rules removed because they were written when I was too tired to think straight, and were not really very wise to post.)

[Benjamin]

hahahahaha if only stalkers did follow those rules!

[Jackie]

That was pretty funny and deeply thought out there shannon. Haha you almost make being stalked sound like it could be a pleasurable scenario. Its slightly unnerving that you seem to already have some experience with this on the receiving end.

[Spiral]

You know you suck at stalking when people know you are stalking them lol

[Patti]

Yowza Shannon! Get stalked much???

[Shannon]

That was pretty funny and deeply thought out there shannon. Haha you almost make being stalked sound like it could be a pleasurable scenario. Its slightly unnerving that you seem to already have some experience with this on the receiving end.

Women tend to respond very in very polar ways to me... and stalking is something I have had to deal with from a few ex's. I've never been stalked by someone I did not date first, though. Let's hope I don't have any more stalkers at all.

[Jackie]

Ahhhhhhh. This week is going really well. I've been having so much fun at school and more and more comfortable in my skin. I have a tendency to crack jokes a lot, usually using a filter of what's appropriate or not, but since starting AF I've been a lot less inhibited. I'm actually really pleasantly surprised by this cause usually I overthink before I speak. There's a certain boldness in my joking now that's come out of left field.

There are situations in massage that end up pretty funny, or feeling awkward dealing with people's naked bodies. For example, last night we were working on a younger guy trying to palpate and see his rhomboids, and the instructor was using very technical language on which muscles were acting to help with the action, and I said "Hey, it's like back cleavage", cause they look like little boobs when flexed. Everyone laughed, and a few minutes later the instructor asked the guy to do it again to show us something, and referring to me she asked him to flex his "back cleavage". I'm just happy my humor isn't offensive and seems to be appreciated. Kinda helps break the ice a little in an uncomfortable situation. The director of the school/instructor even told me that she wrote down a few of my quotes to share on graduation day. lol. Oh man, that could be really fun or really embarrassing! lol

[Jackie]

Well, I did a bad thing. I forgot to charge my ipod for a few days and was out of town, so I didn't get any AF in. I noticed a difference actually. I was suddenly more depressed and overly sensitive. It was like all the things I'd felt I was making progress on came rushing back with more intensity. I've been questioning myself too much and second guessing. It came out mostly when I was learning a new massage technique in class the other night and I had the instructor and a few other students watching me intently the whole time and critiquing. I went home really feeling like I wasn't going to be a good massage therapist. That's ridiculous too because that's what we do in school is give each other ongoing feedback and ways we can improve. I think it was the fact that I had all 3 making comments at the same time, so it felt kind of like they were ganging up on me where when it was their turns, everyone was socializing and not so intent on their techniques. I felt a little singled out, but looking back I realize that wasn't the case. It also doesn't help that I'm on my cycle right now, so I think that's not helping, as well as missing my fiance who is away for 10 days. Probably just a bad combo. AF is supposed to help with hormone regulation, but since I wasn't listening to it for awhile, can't expect much there.

First thing last night when I got home was charge up my ipod and I got in a full night of listening. Head feels really heavy.

Hopefully I'll kick this soon.

[About]

You know what my instructors told us what we looked like during our first semester??? They said we looked like gorillas with flippers! I laughed so hard but when I see my instructors do their little voodoo magic it's so obvious we have so much to learn. Just in general I wouldn't worry about being a good MT because it will come to you the more you practice And if they are singling you out they're probably jealous of your mad skillz.

In fact, in my school, a lot of us forget to do the whole criticism sandwich thing. You do x good, your y could be better, and keep doing that and you'll be whatever. Something like that. The instructors forget to do this a lot as well so I find that it's just hard for them to remember to continually do this.

What massage technique?

[Shannon]

As time goes on, I'd like feedback on how well the hormone balancing/cycle regulation works.

[Jackie]

You know what my instructors told us what we looked like during our first semester??? They said we looked like gorillas with flippers! I laughed so hard but when I see my instructors do their little voodoo magic it's so obvious we have so much to learn. Just in general I wouldn't worry about being a good MT because it will come to you the more you practice And if they are singling you out they're probably jealous of your mad skillz.

In fact, in my school, a lot of us forget to do the whole criticism sandwich thing. You do x good, your y could be better, and keep doing that and you'll be whatever. Something like that. The instructors forget to do this a lot as well so I find that it's just hard for them to remember to continually do this.

What massage technique?

I like the flippers, LOL! We were trying sidelying for the first time. Everyone's really nice and we all get along extremely well. I know I'm good at it, but I have a hard time when people are watching and all giving feedback at the same time. It brings out performance anxiety, like it's a test or something. Monday we have to do our practical midterm on a few LMP's that will be coming in. Gotta work on my closing up!

[Jackie]

As time goes on, I'd like feedback on how well the hormone balancing/cycle regulation works.

Oh, I'll let you know I think next month will be a better judge....assuming I don't goof up again.

[Shannon]

and remember that it's phased in over time, so over the whole course of the program, you'll need to be vigilant and report.