I'm still using SE 5.5g for now but wanted to make this journal early.
I may be experiencing TID ( I have some signs of me noticing it but no social signs since I haven't been out) only mental signs.
This is the first time in my life where I feel like "I get it now" in regards to dating women and how to be attractive to women.
I don't understand women completely and I'm not the best texter in the world and I don't have 100 percent control over my emotions yet. (in person I do have 100 percent control when I'm with women)
but when it comes to actual dating 1 on 1 with a women I am very attractive, comfortable and relaxed and I no longer have the sticking point of becoming physical.
I also understand the dating dynamic and how to build attraction by embracing and holding tension instead of fearing and resisting tension which allot of men and I used to do.
Power of indifference on youtube (watch it!!!!!!) also Nick sparks As you are is a great book too read. These two things helped me allot. Releasing on anxiety helped me allot too and also SE 5.5g and all the other subs i've used.
But more noticeably SE 5.5g and Releasing on Fear of rejection/anxiety/neediness/seeking approval. Helped me SO MUCH. I can feel anxiety is no longer in my body. I have always held allot of anxiety in my body since I was young because of my potentially bipolar mom causing me to have increased anxiety.
This is an all time high in my life in regards to women, I have finally gotten to the point where I used to only dream of and imagine 4 years ago. I used to HOPE and wish I can achieve this type of confidence around beautiful women.
Although I just got broken up with because of some mistakes (Trial and error) I feel like another women is just around the corner and TBH DMSI has really helped me stay hopeful and help me move on. I realise that I shouldn't dwell too much on her, there is another feminine energy source around the corner.
That being said I appreciate & valued her specific personality traits and looks so I am obviously not 100 percent over her. I am very sentimental about things and losing someone I care about is always hard for me.
I woke up today feeling allot better then I have about the situation though, last week I was suffering bad but today I woke up and wasn't effected nearly as strongly.
Physically I'm stronger and more jacked then I've ever been in the gym. That's another thing that is helping me deal with this rejection because I value my self higher, (also because of my new found self esteem) I can tell you for sure if I didn't use SE 5.5g my depression would be severe right now. I really liked that women. I'm a Venus in Scorpio for anyone who is into astrology.
My last DMSI journal the title was Tiger's Blood - DMSI 3.1A -Don Juan, Hugh Hefner, Tony Montana, Raykon
I no longer feel like I"m aiming to be those things, I feel like I'm already there or at least 95 percent of the way there.
Hence why the beast is alive now and ready to devour its prey. DMSI 3.2 is the subliminal that is going to take me into the edge into the 100% area in which I deserve to be in, that i've fought to be in and I've suffered to be in.
I am 8 or 9 years into my self development and studying of PUA, Male/Female attraction and personal development to make myself into a man that is attractive to women but not only physically. I stopped listening to PUA information for few years and I don't feel like I need it anymore I know most of the information subconsciously now. Only certain things like philosophical and mental changing speeches and stuff I love to watch still.
That 7 hour date I had that was a great success with the women wanting to come over "I can come over for an hour if you want" .. stupid me didn't pounce on that opportunity.
but anyways, it gave me a taste of whats to come. I have no doubt in me at all that I am capable of achieving my goals with women and life.
I always had a little bit of doubt in the back of my mind, but not no more.
Cheers to self development, subliminals, the gym, and the great community we have here.
I love how enthusiastic you are about your life. In my humble opinion you are too emotionally reactive to women that's why you make all the slip-up you made, but that's also because you're an emotional person and feel so much. And that's not a bad thing. But I think more emotional control will do you wonders. Women want an emotional rock. You obviously have a lot of good things going on in your life and you have a lot of passion.
(02-10-2018, 03:29 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]I love how enthusiastic you are about your life. In my humble opinion you are too emotionally reactive to women that's why you make all the slip-up you made, but that's also because you're an emotional person and feel so much. And that's not a bad thing. But I think more emotional control will do you wonders. Women want an emotional rock. You obviously have a lot of good things going on in your life and you have a lot of passion.
Thanks man I agree. I am a rock in person but over texting for example when I'm angry or upset it's hard for me to control and i'l say something in anger and regret it later.
In person though I'm extremely calm and not unemotional and very masculine energy now.
My emotions only start to get the best of me when I develop real feelings for the person, in the beginning stages I don't really care too much about the women so I don't act based on fear, or emotions.
I'm learning how to control my emotions over text and not speak when im in an angry or upset or jealous mood. (I didn't feel any feelings of jealousy with the last chick though or any chick in a long time)
I used to be overly emotional in person as well but since my test levels are so high and my estrogen is very low due to my own control of my hormones I'm able to maintain a very calm, masculine solid presence when I'm around people and women.
All my mistakes with that last chick were over text which is one of the reasons i'm so regretful because it was easily avoidable.
Last 3-4 nights i've been having dreams where woman that used to reject me no longer rejected me and they were hitting my phone up or I was chilling with them in person. I also have blurry visions of me in dreams in night club/party environments with DMSI excuting.
I think these dreams are TID related because they are very focused on woman and aggression much like AM and DMSI dreams I had in the past. I also haven't had any other SE 5.5g dreams at all the last 30 something days I've been on it. except for last 3-4 days.
All the dreams have somehow been related to me doing well with woman or in an aggressive fight type situation.
Had more sexual and or aggressive dreams last night where I was having success with women.
I forget what happened but it was definitely DMSI related. I can tell now for sure i'm being affected by TID.
I'm also WAY more over the chick that i liked then I was last week. My feelings regenerated much faster then in the past. I'm not 100 percent over but I'm not super upset anymore.
She's still checking out my snap story and It's been a week since I've communicated with her I feel like I can get her back in the future if I want but I want to try and meet someone else for obvious reasons.
But I'm not going to burn the bridge, i'm just waiting for DMSI to kick me into overdrive and bang a shit load of other women first creating immense attraction and jealousy from this one, (she use to REALLY like me) And although I was a little needy it wasn't overly needy to the point where I'm complete garbage in her mind.
But more so just inconsistence behaviour and little displays of neediness/emotionalness. Which although it isn't good, i didn't say anything OVERLY needy and fucked up like I would have when I got rejected before subs.
What I consider needy now is not nearly as needy as the things I used to say and be like in the past.
That being said I can still be less needy for sure.
DMSI!!!!!! Can't wait it's going to be awesome.
in one month n a half I'l be an owner of my first apartment, in a great location for banging women and nature. It's right beside 4 breweries, 2 restaurant/bar, 2 liquor stores, 1 sushi place, and everything else I need.
Perfect location for a young person.
Literally the hidden gem of BC Port Moody.
The beast is ready to eat.
I can feel TID 100 percent now.
I went somewhere and I noticed allot of women staring at me, I felt more alpha and sexual and had better body language and also I noticed two of the women at a store that I go too that I only seen a few times give me a significantly better response.
the one that I found most attractive, I can tell by the way she looked at me when I asked her what her name was again and shook her hand before I left is that she was attracted and or at least interested in me.
I felt a bit of resistance when I walked in the store, and I knew something was up.
Also today when I went to the gym I literally didn't do 1 set I just decided to take the day off and go to the pool/hottub instead. I felt too tired to lift. Could be from my intense work out the day before but it felt more mental fatigue not physical.
The resistance feeling today at the store went away when I started conversing with some old woman about my dog.
One of them told me "we need more dog owners like you around"
For some reason based off a 4 minute conversation she gathered that I was a really good dog owner / person. I felt the celebrity effect to some degree.
I felt like everyone around me was watching me or would walk out of my way from like 15 feet away. (this only happened once today to my awareness)
but I had insane IoI's from some pretty woman. I didn't act on it though. I don't know why I didn't approach I felt some resistance on approaching. But it also kinda felt like IDGAF attitude.
The reason I didn't ask for the number of the one at the store today, is because I know she works there so in the future when I see her again I will ask for her number.
I went to the store today, I didn't want her to be there actually but the same young woman was there (prob age 23 I'm guessing) and I ended up getting her number.
After we had a short little conversation about her goals and background and travelling plans I said something like "I don't want to make things akward (with her coworkers and a line up behind me) she's a cashier) I want to be your friend, do you have snapchat" she said she doesn't have any social media.
I was about to say do you have a number? but I didn't want her coworkers to hear and her get uncomfortable. So I just pulled out my phone and handed it to her and she said "sure" and put her number in it.
I texted her when I left the store saying "Hope the rest of your shift is chill - Raykon"
then I immediately after that sent another one saying "We'll keep in touch & if we like each other we'll hang out, you seem nice"
I didn't really feel like I was executing today, however I did notice woman staring at me even like woman on busses that were driving by. So even though I didn't feel that good today overall or feel in the mood. I still ended up having ioi's from randoms and getting her number.
Although I didn't feel the celebrity effect or have nearly as many ioi's as the other day. I did drink coffee right before I went out and I was hesitant to do so because i'm sensitive to caffeine as it is.
I won't be consuming any more coffee when I go out.
I was about 10 seconds from being sentenced in my trial & the judge post poned it another 5 days. I ended up going to sushi then banging an escort at a massage place after. The escort asked me to be her pimp and gave me her number. I also got a bj without a condom on from her for free (and they aren't supposed to do that) and I had no sensitivity. 3 years ago I came instantly when I had a bare bj. This was the first bare bj i had since that day. It's insane how much I've learned to control my body. I wonder how much of it is subliminals and how much of it is is my practising of control. I could control orgasm completely now.
I noticed i'm WAY more comftorable around these woman now. then many months ago when I banged escorts. Its the self esteem program or TID for sure. nothing else explains why im so fucking confident around them now. edit (also the anxiety releasing I did it feels like that released 90 percent of my anxiety that also made a huge difference)
im stoked to see where dmsi takes me now.
I messaged a woman I met at a mall doing pick up 3 months ago. who i barely put any effort into and hadnt spoken to her for a month and a week. I said Im still interested in meeting her and seeing if we have chemirstry. then we ended up texting all day long paragraphs she was sending me telling me about her life and goals and expressing some vulnerability.
I was qualifying her and this is why I got such great respsones, I think this one likes me alott based on the responses I was getting and the fact that I was so aloof and uninterested in her for so long even though shes a 9.5/10 looks wise.
Shes a scorpio and i'm a venus in scorpio so we should be very similar. So i am able to be more genuine with her and she is responding really well. She wants the type of guy that I am, unlike the last chick who hates affection and passion in relationships and is kinda superficial and detached.
This chick happens to be a vegetarian and i'm a pescatarian ( and no dairy) so good chemistry in that way too.
(02-17-2018, 09:25 AM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ]I messaged a woman I met at a mall doing pick up 3 months ago. who i barely put any effort into and hadnt spoken to her for a month and a week. I said Im still interested in meeting her and seeing if we have chemirstry. then we ended up texting all day long paragraphs she was sending me telling me about her life and goals and expressing some vulnerability.
I was qualifying her and this is why I got such great respsones, I think this one likes me alott based on the responses I was getting and the fact that I was so aloof and uninterested in her for so long even though shes a 9.5/10 looks wise.
Shes a scorpio and i'm a venus in scorpio so we should be very similar. So i am able to be more genuine with her and she is responding really well. She wants the type of guy that I am, unlike the last chick who hates affection and passion in relationships and is kinda superficial and detached.
This chick happens to be a vegetarian and i'm a pescatarian ( and no dairy) so good chemistry in that way too.
Ive had a girl in the past that couldnt emote at all....I was only with her because she like me and I was on the rebound and that rebound caused me to fall for her deeper than I should and even now I think about her as the one that got away but was she right for me, probably not, so cool on finding this 9/10 dude.
I said to the cute asian waitress who is around my age "You are really good at your job" she said "what?" I said "Your a good waitress" she said "only for you" then we both giggled. I also made her giggle many other times while I eating there.
(02-17-2018, 03:18 PM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ]I said to the cute asian waitress who is around my age "You are really good at your job" she said "what?" I said "Your a good waitress" she said "only for you" then we both giggled. I also made her giggle many other times while I eating there.
Well now since shes only a good waitress for you say youre a good diner for her and suggest you take this outside just to test of course what other ways you both compliment each other.
And when you get laid, ill save you the trouble of thanking me.... your welcome haha
Spent my first weekend in jail. It was okay.
I did a loop today after I got out and went downtown walked the strip with some friends, approached 1 tall women and she had no interest whatsoever, she seemed scared and not interested in conversing at all. She seemed shy too.
I felt 0 feelings of rejection after I did it, also I am much more over the other chick now, and also I feel less jealousy when I hear of other guys getting laid allot. I used to have a little bit of envy surface but now I don't and feel even MORE SO that my time of glory is just around the corner (its already here but now its just a matter of meeting woman)\
Can't wait to get my ID back.. IN the mean time im going to start approaching day game again next week.
Also going to hit up strip clubs and potentionally bang some escorts later down into the DMSI road to test its powers. Want to see if I can make an escort my Fuck buddy. and also get strippers numbers.
I feel so excited and happy for DMSI. I can feel this version is allot stronger. I can definitely feel this even though I hadn't used it for the last two days because of jail. i can tell those 2 or 3 loops did something to my thoughts/mind.
I forgot to mention some woman at mcdonalds 20 feet away from me I caught her smiling and kind of laughing at me VEYR noticeably very randomly.
i was just standing there looking somewhere and i look and saw her
it wasnt a normal smile, it was like i did something to make her react like that. but i didnt do anything
also i havent fapped in 3 days and STILL have no urge to fap. I usually fap daily.