Haha, Benjamin. Thanks for posting in my journal
.
So, this is my last entry.
Merry Christmas all. I'm now ending my #4 DMSI run. Will take a break until January 1st and jump to Self Esteem 5.5G. I'll probably put a end to DMSI forever. Tired of chasing pussies.
So, I've ran DMSI for 3.5 months and a few days. Took a break in between the runs.
DMSI wasn't a success for me as you can guess. I've had some interesting stuff happening, but haven't gotten seduced by a girl in person. During those 3.5 months I've approached as well a few girls that I "liked". Didn't go anywhere. Didn't pursue that much because I was tired of chasing them. They were either not interested or didn't want the same thing as me (a relationship or even a fwb thing).
The celebrity effect was the thing was worked the least for me. I don't feel sexy nor do I feel that others perceive me as sexy. My sexual/social value didn't seem to increase at all. I'm pretty much still the old good friendly budy agreable to talk to and hang out with. Basically big friendzoned all the way. Before DMSI girls have rarely considered me as a datable/fuckable guy, and this haven't changed at all even now. (For those who wonder about my physic: a bit skinny, 5-7/10, a bit tall)
For me that is the most disappointing part of DMSI. We are 10000 times far away from "maximum sexiness". I'm not even talking of getting laid. Just feeling/being sexy and being perceived as such !
This much, DMSI didn't deliver.
The manifestation module was probably the part that worked the most for me. On run #4 especially I felt like it was stronger than ever.
DMSI 3.1
A is some good shit. I very much liked these "high" moments I experienced under it. Blissful, I could spend any amount of $ to get in that awesome state 24h a day. It's a state of feeling good...Very good. Feeling enough by myself, feeling on top of the world. And having an ultimate DGAF attitude. Priceless thing.
Too bad that feeling doesn't last long at all, and, for one, doesn't seem deep enough to leave an imprint in the subconscious, and for two, gets very easily shattered by the h/c crash and various harsh things in the reality.
Overall I can say, DMSI is very inconsistent. Sometimes I seem to execute, but like, just 1% of the script. Sometimes DMSI is working in the background but I fucking don't know what the hell it is doing. I mean, some things happen and stuff are moving, but I don't fucking know what he hell is the logic behind that.
No wonder the past 3 months were the weirdest of my life. Got an online female friend begging for me, got obsessed with boobs and asses for about 4 days, got sexually touched by a taxi driver, cried a few times while listening to DMSI, slept with DMSI the whole night and woke up with a sore body,ect, ect.
Brief...DMSI does do some things but the output isn't really what I expected.
So, what now ? Oh, for first I'm pretty much fed up of chasing women. I have had enough. I feel a bit silly for having thought that a subliminal could resolve my issue with women. Seems like nothing can really change someone in fact. When you grew up so hard wired in a way, jumping to another way just seems to be impossible. So, I've had enough. Seems to me that my fate is settled. I'll probably still struggle with women until getting married one day. My dream of being that natural man with women will probably never come true.
But that's fine. Life isn't fair and nobody's supposed to get everything he wants in life. I've just to find something else that will make me happy. At least during that DMSI run I've found 3 interesting anf funny women with whom I chat online. They like me and I am fond of them. Having that sort of platonic relationship isn't that bad. I just have to shut down my "lonely self" who complains about lack of pussy times to times. It's hard because having such need is natural. But what else can I do ?
Well, that was kinda depressing that last part but for me it's an ending on a good note in fact. Because I've just end a chapter of my life. No more chasing women, no more texting a girl expecting to get a date or such. That part of my life got settled so I can now move on to something else entirely and enjoy what other parts of life have to offer.
Yes, I am this type of guy. Call me coward if you want, but that's how I progress in life. Hanging on to something you C'ANT obtain is NOT progressing. I want to progress, not to get into an infinite loop of hopes and struggles.
I'm definitely NOT ready to drown in pussies yet. I don't know when I'll be ready nor if I'll every be, but in any case, and no matter what case, I shouldn't let this impact my self-worth and self-value too much.
Thank you guys, those who followed my journal and replied to it.
Is a moderator able to delete threads ? I'd like that thread to disappear once I start SE.