Thought, this morning at some point I managed to tell goodbye to girl Z...In my head. I feel like I was in process of moving on.
But I noticed seeing couples, or whatever related to relationships trigger thoughts about Z, and I feel sick. It's like a trauma. I wasn't feeling like that before the sub.
Went out with a friend. I feel better, a bit.
We were around women A LOT. Yet, no IOI.
For some reason I'm not executing the script properly...
Day 14.
8~11 loops hybrid track.
Fuck yeah. Didn't feel bad today
.
Z was slightly on my mind but it didn't make me feel down.
But I feel really exhausted.
I'm currently listening to DMSI (for day 15) and yaay, I feel so good and peaceful.
I have no stress nor worry about women. I feel free.
It looks like the 8 loops yesterday really helped.
I'm losing weight noticeably. Not good, I'm already skinny.
(07-27-2017, 04:04 PM)Plouf Wrote: [ -> ]I'm losing weight noticeably. Not good, I'm already skinny.
No appetite?
Start scarfing down some pizzas, chicken wings, burgers, or whatever high calorie foods you have available. Put peanut butter on everything, eat gigantic bowls of cereal...
I'm really just listing everything that gets me fat after I get fit and get tired of eating right all the time, lol.
Quote:No appetite?
I usually have a low appetite. But I'm eating more with DMSI.
But I'm still losing weight.
Quote:Start scarfing down some pizzas, chicken wings, burgers, or whatever high calorie foods you have available. Put peanut butter on everything, eat gigantic bowls of cereal...
I'm trying. Eating when I'm not hungry is a torture. Tho I'm allergic to most food helping with bulking. No PB then...And I have milk intolerence.
I'm planning on running MHS after the 32th day of DMSI. I can't bulk with all these allergies.
(07-28-2017, 07:15 AM)Plouf Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:No appetite?
I usually have a low appetite. But I'm eating more with DMSI.
But I'm still losing weight.
Quote:Start scarfing down some pizzas, chicken wings, burgers, or whatever high calorie foods you have available. Put peanut butter on everything, eat gigantic bowls of cereal...
I'm trying. Eating when I'm not hungry is a torture. Tho I'm allergic to most food helping with bulking. No PB then...And I have milk intolerence.
I'm planning on running MHS after the 32th day of DMSI. I can't bulk with all these allergies.
If you have milk intolerance buy some lactase tablets, very cheap, and just take a couple when u drink milk. I am also a little lactose intolerant, but i take lactase tablets every time, and I'm 100% fine with eating/drinking dairy. Kirkland brand is cheapest and same level of quality; it's just lactase after all.
Depends if it's lactose intolerance or milk intolerance. The latter is much more serious and harder to "fight" against.
(07-29-2017, 12:35 AM)ReeZoX Wrote: [ -> ]Depends if it's lactose intolerance or milk intolerance. The latter is much more serious and harder to "fight" against.
Oh, didn't know there was such thing as milk intolerance
@dissonance: Thank you, but I gave them a try for a while and I still got diarrhea when I drink milk.
Day 17.
2 loops hybrid track (low volume).
Since I started DMSI A, I feel like chasing girls is meaningless - most of the time. That's really strange but since DMSI A I'm more interested in my spiritual development. I feel like I have less attachement in material stuff.
As far as I can recall I always was interested in spiritual development, but now the urge is strong.
I do not know if it's my subconscious resisting to make me stop the sub, but now I feel like listening to DMSI is meaningless. I feel like there are way more important points I must work on than banging chicks.
On a related note, yesterday something clicked in my head. I realized I'm after girls because I want validation. I feel like I want confirmation that I'm a real man, a "normal" human being. I still have the V card.
Ironically, my way of life, my personnality (INFP-T) don't let room for playing with women that much.
I don't know what to do...I'll probably stop DMSI after the 32th day and focus on my physical healing (MHS), feeling good (LTU), learning and being productive (MLS or BASE). If there was a "spiritual" sub I'd have used it right away.
Everything else seems meningless to me right now.
(07-29-2017, 06:02 AM)Plouf Wrote: [ -> ]Since I started DMSI A, I feel like chasing girls is meaningless - most of the time.
I do not know if it's my subconscious resisting to make me stop the sub, but now I feel like listening to DMSI is meaningless. I feel like there are way more important points I must work on than banging chicks.
This is actually a good thing, whether you are aware of this or not. When you stop chasing girls, they start chasing you.
(07-29-2017, 06:02 AM)Plouf Wrote: [ -> ]That's really strange but since DMSI A I'm more interested in my spiritual development. I feel like I have less attachment to material stuff.
As far as I can recall I always was interested in spiritual development, but now the urge is strong.
You may find
minimalism interesting...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKhQ75DfD2k
Quote:You may find minimalism interesting...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKhQ75DfD2k
Seems interesting, thank you
Another note to my journal:
I really feel like DMSI A cleansing is kicking in since Day #14. That night when I ran 8-11 loops. Since that day I feel good and my depression stoped. Day #15 I managed to "say goodbye" to Z. I was running a movie in my head, about how much I fucked up with her, ect, I acknolowdege it then let it go.
Ever since, I do not think that much about her.
And, as DMSI is cleansing my crappy beliefs, I'm more and more aware to what I trully want. I appreciate that "I don't give a fuck" attitude and I want to explore it more, that's probably why I have that urge to work on myself, my feelings, my spirituality.
Being peaceful is what matters to me now, all these wanting and chasing is meaningless.
I'm still not sure if it's my subconscious resisting, but tbh the path I want to take seems more healthier to me, than constantly chasing girls, wanting their approval, worrying about them, ect.
On a related note, about my attractiveness, and the confidence on my look. Well, I stopped seeing myself as the most handsome man on earth. I miss this feeling. But I'm accepting myself regadless, I'm just...me.
Day 18.
2 loops hybrid track (low volume).
Felt a sharp pain on my stomach while listening to it.
Idk what the fuck it means...