Day 11.
3 loops of hybrid track.
Bad day
.
I woke up with remorseful thoughts about that girl. Let's call her Girl Z.
For those who do not know, that girl was flirting with me and giving me tons of IOIs for about a month, and like an idiot I did nothing. Not only I caught her IOIs late, but also I was unable to kino, nor escalate nor close with her, even tho I wanted and I knew that's what I was supposed to do. The last time we were alone together I was freezed to death. I was totally comfortable with the talk and making her laugh, but when it came to physical touch, my brain stopped working. So that situation is my reason here. People told me I could overcome that issue with the healing on DMSI.
Paradoxically, my male friends always reproached me to touch them too much when I talk.
So, today I woke up with remorseful thoughts. Regret, grief, anger, these feelings too. I thought things were getting better since I didn't thought about Girl Z for the past 3 days or so. I was still on my bed for a while thinking about how much I suck.
Then I went to my laptop, browsing some journals here and there to think about something else.
Then I bumped right away on that post:
Quote:This is your problem.
DMSI is a life changer, that is for sure. But when the opportunity presents itself, STRIKE. And if there is no opportunity, create one, then STRIKE.
And if you cannot create one, STRIKE.
DMSI IS a life changer, but you yourself are still a massive influence.
Listen, man, you flirt and you flirt and you flirt. But that gets boring. Imagine if a woman flirted with you, in the same way everyday, but you cannot do anything about it - only she can. But she doesn't take any decisive movements.
And she just keeps flirting and flirting.
That would suck balls (not really, more like give you blue balls Wink)
You NEED to TAKE ACTION.
You are doing amazingly by asking women out. Amazing work on that man. But, when you actually get there, you have to touch her, you have to keep the eye contact, you need to get close and feel the tension. When you can withstand this tension and KEEP piling it on her, you will have her in your grasp.
First you create this sexual tension, then you withdraw.. then you increase the tension again. And finally, you need to pull the trigger; because you know what the difference is between a good guy (not nice, good) and a good guy that gets all the chicks?
Kino, escalation, sexual tension, pulling the trigger.
That's it.
And if you cannot believe in body language (for whatever weird reason), then just pull the trigger. If she isn't pushing you back when you flirt, take that as a sign to just do it. If she is neutral, pull the trigger.
I understand you have this blockage, this belief that it will get you in trouble.. but IT IS KEEPING YOU FROM BEING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.
Pull the ***** trigger.
Annnnnd I felt worse. Thanks bro, I was trying to feel better instead.
Then a lot of thoughts came into my mind:
-Shouldn't I just run OF or something like that ?
-What if DMSI can't help me take actions ?
-Look at all these users getting IOIs without doing anything. You'll be like that in some months, unable to take action, so what's the point ?
-What if you do not encounter again a girl as interested and opened as Girl Z ?
I felt tired after a while then decided to sleep while listening to DMSI (3 loop hybrid track). Thankfully I fell asleep quickly and peacefully.
I dreamed about being in a large and open space. A grassland. I was in middle of it. I was seeing myself like in a RPG game.
I'm not 100% sure of what was happening, but I think I was talking to someone in my head (maybe myself) about Girl Z. I was looking for something. I was looking for a way to resolve something.
That's what I remembered when I woke up. Btw the remorseful thoughts didn't stop when I woke up...
I hope it was part of the healing and not just a random bad day :@.
On a side note, lately my visualization is getting clearer.
