Subliminal Talk

Stage 2 Day 26

same as day before
relaxed a bit, cant give full power constantly

Stage 2 Day 27

Felling depressed and bad this morning. But after just accepting it felt better and suddenly i get alot of new oppertunities for jobs and flats.
Seems the worst is over

Stage 2 Day 28

Feeling like shit once again. I think its mostly because living in a small village without any action adn waiting for a job oppertunity to move to big city.

Stage 2 Day 29

Had another job interview. I have good options now but its quit komplex which to choose and how to do it. So hopefully in few days i have no more worries about that and can concentrate on my growth and building a social life again

Stage 2 Day 30

Feeling tired again. Seem like i am way more productive if i get up really early. Also have to make some tough decisons at the moment and feeling overhelmed. Wahtever i do it seems wrong. Dont know which option is better and can infuence my whole life....
paradox of choice

Stage 2 Day 31

Same like yesterday. Excited to start Stage 3 soon

Stage 2 Day 32

Stage 2 finished, was a crazy ride of highs and deeps, but didnt feel alot chnaged overall.
Maybe because i was social isolated and didnt had alot of social situations. Sitting most of the time alone at home...
Hopefully the next stages bring more obvious change

You were on stage 2 too eh? I was wondering how many guys on here are on it, I've noticed it to be turbulent as well, especially with social stuff. Maybe it's a social stage.

Stage 3 Day 1

Feeling really relaxed and calm. Like every new stage i start i am very tired, i think its the initally new content hammering on my subconsciouness.

Stage 3 Day 2

Dont feel any different, wondering if depression will hit me like most in Stage 3. Until now everything is fine

Stage 3 Day 3

Feeling a constant well being and mor action driven than before. Negative thoughts get banned out of my mind fast and i am more solution oriantaded
Feels good so far and no depressions/resistance

Stage 3 Day 4

Back in a big city and start working on Monday.
Went out first time since weeks with some old friend.
Talked alot about business which was good, but at the party i couldnt approach anyone and started to drink again.... thought i was over this, but seems like old habits are hard to kill, especially when i am shy and afraid to approach. Its just that i even knew with alc it gets just worse and i feel like shit next day.

Its weird, i have this big mental barrier. I see alot of girls smiling at me and some even come to dance/stay around me when i am on then dancefloor since i am a good dancer. They try everything to get my attention and bump into me. But some deep mental barrier holds me back from saying just hi or dance with them and i ignore them which just drives them more crazy.
Its like a fucked up egopush, because i think in that moment i could have all this girls but in the end sth holds me back i do nothing and end up alone at home....
Its not that i really feel afraid or fear, i just feel nothing at that moment except some pride and arrogance.
Help how can i change that??????

Stage 3 Day 6

Dindt listen enough, because i was out and drunk... how can i get rid of this stupid habit of drinking....

Stage 3 Day 7

Still feeling depressed from the weekend. Did drink to much and not approaching any girls.
It seems like for everyone else its so easy and they get laid alot or have grilfriends and i am sitting alone at home.... Sucks big time.
Also i have to decide between 2 jobs and cities.
good city, fucked up job or good job and ugly city..... so undecisive. Dont know whats the best for my life lol