Subliminal Talk

Well I'm somewhat new here. I've crept more than I've written. Since my 'concerns about AM6' post, I've actually started AM6. 8 days into stage 1 and listening to the ultrasonic as I write this. I want to share a little bit about myself:

I'm 28. Throughout childhood and the first two years of high school, I was the fat kid. This took a toll on my self-esteem, my social status, my love life (or lack thereof) and my overall identification as a man. My mother and her immediate family (the latter of whom I spent the most time with growing up) are largely beta, and my father—whom I've lived with for the past 14 years—is admirably alpha. I've done a lot of growing up in my 20s. I'm in the best shape of my life (but still not where I want to be) and my character is the strongest it's ever been (but built upon a weak foundation). I know how to improve my body, and I'm here to improve my mind. I've spent more time at home in my own company than I have out socializing. I've always had beta friends whose relations with women were minimal and pathetic or non-existent. I was never the cool guy or had cool friends. I hardly partied in high school or university. I've hardly had women in my life. I lost my virginity at 25. She was my first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything. Dated her for almost a year. Nothing before or since. In high school I turned down blatant opportunities for sex because I was self-conscious. I struggle deeply with my self-image and self-worth. I feel undeserving around beautiful women and resentful at times because they bring to the surface the pain of my own perceived inadequacy. I'm immature and inexperienced when it comes to sex and female relations because I wilfully neglected them for so long. I recognize that my thoughts, actions and behaviours are fundamentally beta and it's time to change that. Basically everything that is listed in terms of what AM6 addresses is what I want to change or reinforce about myself. AM6 is the inextricable groundwork for what I want most, which is to be comfortable with my body and sexuality, and highly successful with women in casual relationships. Hint hint as to my next planned subs.

Well thanks for putting up with the run-on format of my write-up. There's so much I needed to say and stopping to structure it would have gotten in the way.

I am open to your comments, product suggestions, support, whatever. Look forward to sharing my growth with you.

Things I have noticed thus far:

consistent
- vivid dreams
- more attention and respect from others (though this may have something to do with my improved physique and new wardrobe)

fleeting
- urge to clean and tidy my surroundings
- desire to get shit done

Oh, Man, you're in for a treat!

I've done AM5, and will do AM6; your version is 'technically' 9 times more effective and powerful, but with new additions, it's much more powerful than that.

The changes you're about to experience will be nothing short of astounding (and I didn't even follow the instructions 100%). Be sure to listen AT LEAST 8 hours a day for the recommended 32 days for each stage. If you want to get the lessons in deeper the first time around, you're allowed to add more time on each stage, as high as 64 days per stage. But then you'll have to do it for each and every stage.

Also, many of the changes are permanent and increase, some even months after having finished the program (and all this despite the fact that I'm onto another 6-stage; hint: it's the one you want to do afterwards).

On women; women are excellent teachers as they show you, through their actions, the aspects of yourself in which you haven't healed. You could say that they're a mirror, showing you the flaws in your armour (because the high-quality ones test your character and single in on the one character flaw you have, usually neediness or poor boundaries). This sub should clear a lot of those things up.

Also, if you want more modalities on clearing negative emotions, talk to Geodude, he also has a thread on the topic of clearing/tapping. I'm also a fan of those modalities, and use them quite often, so ask away if you want to learn more. It's mostly all free stuff.

I am interested in your progress as part of it mimics my life too.

I was interested in tapping until a member PMd me saying it could work against the subs. Best way is just max out your time on the subs and maybe PSTEC.

Dan,

Interesting suggestion in terms of doubling up on time per stage. There's a lot of talk on the forums about running AM more than once for max effectiveness—depending on the person. It would take over a year to complete the program and I wonder how doing 64 days/stage vs doing the entire program twice would compare in terms of results. Can anybody speak to this? Shannon would probably have the best answer.

Good call, Zyggy.
I've read in sundry places that you can add time to 6 stages to deepen the effects.
AfzalG was using Sex Magnet for double the recommended time, and his results are pretty great, though I've heard nothing about hisuse of Alpha Male.

@essy, it's your call; you could do 2 separate runs, or do it once for a bit longer than recommended, or run it once as recommended and then run your next 6-stage. Sometimes we're drowning in options in this community!

Nov 26

First feelings of resistance?

Post workout: Thought about being bold, assertive, and decisive—especially with women. I literally felt resistance to the idea of trying to be something I'm not. Like eventually I'll crumble because I'm putting up a front.

This came up because I was also thinking about the dynamic in which my mom looks to my dad to be alpha and how I've done the same for most of my life. The alpha in me comes out when I'm with my mother but for the wrong reasons—to keep her in check. She is anxious by nature and highly emotional.

But all of this is contrary to how genuinely empowered I've been feeling. It's a mixture (the proportions of which are difficult to measure) of my being in shape, well dressed, and listening to AM6.

On a semi-related note:

I turned down an opportunity for casual relations 2 days ago because I'm too self conscious about my body—especially the size of my junk and my lasting power (or lack thereof). It's difficult physically and emotionally to resist my biological urges.

As much as I say I want women and casual sex; and feel physical desire, I give off an air of the opposite because I'm so self-conscious that I actively resist my desires to protect myself from shame and ridicule. This is deeply ingrained and quite possibly the greatest hurdle that I need to overcome.

Nov 27

Feeling of unimportance. This one isn't new. People at work were laughing and having a good time and I wasn't a part of it. At times I find it difficult not being paid attention to. I've also observed in myself that I will act goofy or become talkative in order to get the attention of others. This is approval seeking behavior and an aspect of neediness. Obvious that low self-esteem is at work.

(11-28-2014, 09:45 AM)essy Wrote: [ -> ]Nov 26 (Stage 1, day 15)

First feelings of resistance?

Post workout: Thought about being bold, assertive, and decisive—especially with women. I literally felt resistance to the idea of trying to be something I'm not. Like eventually I'll crumble because I'm putting up a front.

This came up because I was also thinking about the dynamic in which my mom looks to my dad to be alpha and how I've done the same for most of my life. The alpha in me comes out when I'm with my mother but for the wrong reasons—to keep her in check. She is anxious by nature and highly emotional.

But all of this is contrary to how genuinely empowered I've been feeling. It's a mixture (the proportions of which are difficult to measure) of my being in shape, well dressed, and listening to AM6.

On a semi-related note:

I turned down an opportunity for casual relations 2 days ago because I'm too self conscious about my body—especially the size of my junk and my lasting power (or lack thereof). It's difficult physically and emotionally to resist my biological urges.

As much as I say I want women and casual sex; and feel physical desire, I give off an air of the opposite because I'm so self-conscious that I actively resist my desires to protect myself from shame and ridicule. This is deeply ingrained and quite possibly the greatest hurdle that I need to overcome.

This is me

Hopefully my own development will aid in yours.

Nov 30

For the record I've missed 2 days and I will make up for them. I've averaged 8 hours a day. I listen mainly while I sleep, which is 6 or 7 hours at times. There are days were I total 9-12 hours of exposure hence the average. I dislike that I haven't gotten a minimum of 8 hours/day of exposure and I've thought about adding up the hours in which I fell short of hitting 8 and adding however many days they total to the 2 days I already have to make up for. Thoughts?

I've also considered restarting Stage 1 but that seems excessive.

On to the day:

I experienced a high and a low that I'd like to share.

First the low. I was driving home after work and started to feel really down thinking about how sexually frustrated I am and why. I have a friend whose comfortable with his body, sexual ability, and is talented at attracting partners for casual sex. I want the aforementioned so bad but I deprive myself because I'm so self-conscious. For this reason, I'm inexperienced, which adds to the matter. And it's hard to deal with this at 28; feeling like I missed out on so much. What I want most out of AM6 is for my self-image to skyrocket, to generate my own validation, and to let go of the past.

The high. I was swiping through Tinder and stumbled across a hot girl. Hot girls usually make me feel bad about myself, as feelings of unworthiness, inadequacy, and inexperience arise. Not with this one. I chose to feel empowered and in doing so, realized that my usual response is also a choice, albeit automatic (at least seemingly so). I thought hey I can feel like a boss and rock her world and not give a f**k. I'm glad that these thoughts and feelings are knocking on the door and I wonder how much of an impact AM6 has had considering it's still stage 1.

I'm alive and still running AM6. More soon.

Dec 9

A few days ago I absolutely killed it at work. I felt empowered and radiated presence. I teased a naturally dominant coworker of mine and conversed with him on a level where he didn't attempt to overpower the discussion. I also shut down a manager who has a reputation for being abrasive. He conceded not only because I was right, but because I was assertive.

Can Stage 1 of AM6 really be having this effect on me?

Deep down a part of me—old Essy, almost like a separate consciousness—observed my behaviour with shock, amazement, and at times, discomfort. It was a peculiar sensation.

I've also had some darker moments, where I'm hard on myself about not changing sooner, about pursuing the change that I'm after at an age where I feel that I should already be the end result, about my sexual frustration and the self-image that fuels it, and about how I want to be the strong, focused, positive, and self-validating man that my father is and recognize that I am not. Can you say run-on sentence?

The other morning I felt anxiety with an intensity that I haven't experienced in a while. I'm not sure if or how much of it was resistance (does Stage 1 have stuff that can be resisted?) and how much of it had to with not using my newly found free time—I halved my hours at work to start an internet business—wisely. To be fair I also wanted more time for self-development but as they say work keeps the mind occupied.

That's all for now. Stage 1 is coming to an end. I will be taking on 2 extra days to make up for the 2 that I missed.

I'm going to make notes more often so I can post with greater frequency and accuracy.

Here's a tip. Read the instructions and follow them EXACTLY. Don't listen to anyone who tells you anything that conflicts with the instructions.

Keep up the good work.