Subliminal Talk

(12-09-2014, 09:56 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Here's a tip. Read the instructions and follow them EXACTLY. Don't listen to anyone who tells you anything that conflicts with the instructions.

Keep up the good work.

This is where I need clarity. Instructions state the following:

Quote:Missing less than a week, add that much time to the end of the 32 days you would normally have used it. Missing more than a week, but less than 32 days, you’ll have to start over with the volume you have been missing exposure to. If you get to more than 32 days without exposure at all, you should start over from the beginning.

They also state that exposure should occur for a minimum of 8 hours/day. 8 hours x 32 days = a total minimum exposure time of 256 hours/stage.

There were days were I got less than 8 hours of exposure—including a day I got only 1—and others were I got 10-15. I average 8-10. As mentioned, there were 2 days I got no exposure at all. Instructions are clear about those: I should add 2 days of 8+ hours at the end of my 32 day run. But what about the days in which exposure was equal to or greater than 1 hour but less than 8?

Add 1.5x hours per hour missed to make up. This can be done over a period of days, if necessary.

(12-15-2014, 11:49 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Add 1.5x hours per hour missed to make up. This can be done over a period of days, if necessary.

Ok I'm confused. Here is exactly what I've done with Stage 1:

Nov 12: 7h
Nov 13: 8h
Nov 14: 7h
Nov 15: 6h
Nov 16: 15h
Nov 17: 8h
Nov 18: 6h
Nov 19: —
Nov 20: 11h
Nov 21: 8h
Nov 22: 5h
Nov 23: 9h
Nov 24: 9h
Nov 25: 9h
Nov 26: 6h
Nov 27: —
Nov 28: 10h
Nov 29: 12h
Nov 30: 9h
Dec 01: 8h
Dec 02: 11h
Dec 03: 10h
Dec 04: 9h
Dec 05: 7h
Dec 06: 4h
Dec 07: 10h
Dec 08: 12h
Dec 09: 9h
Dec 10: 10h
Dec 11: 1h
Dec 12: 10h
Dec 13: 9h
Dec 14: 10h
Dec 15: 9h
Dec 16: 8h
__________
35 days (33 days of exposure + 2 days missed)

Total exposure = 282 hours
Average daily exposure: 8h

Are you saying that for each day I got less than 8 hours of exposure I need to add up the hours that I fell short and multiply the total by 1.5?

If so that would extend Stage 1 for me by 3 days which would total 38 days. Is that acceptable?

2 days miss by an average of 8 hours/days. So you have to make up 16h * 1.5 = 24h or 3 days 8h/days

Now that I have answers about how to wrap up Stage 1, I have a few things to share. These are notes that I've made over the past week.

i.
In the past, I spent a lot of time replaying social interactions in my head and being hard on myself for what I said, how I said it, what I should have said, how my body language came across, etc. It occurred to me that I've hardly done that lately; to the point where I forgot that it's something I did.

ii.
I started thinking about the stuff that gets me down—mainly penis size, sexual stamina, and my non-existent dating life. As if stepping outside of myself, I observed myself entering this negative thought pattern and inviting depression. Then, I consciously (felt automatic) willed myself out of that garbage with reason i.e. instead of wallowing in my own self-pity I can DO something about it; knowing full well that change is possible with consistent effort [and future products such as End Premature Ejaculation 5G *wink*]

iii.
It's fucked up that it's so difficult for me to give myself permission to think of myself as attractive, desirable, and deserving of beautiful women. It's also fucked up how we come to mentally oppress ourselves by internalizing the junk we are fed by society. I'm amazed at how strong our programming is once embedded, and excited by the prospect of using subs to turn this to my advantage.

iv.
Had a crazy dream where I was thrown into a cell and the doors slid shut and I was alone in the dark. I was scared and worried and then something clicked. I suddenly felt determined and empowered. I stood there, staring at the door with intensity; knowing I would eventually get out and steamroll whoever locked me up. It felt so good to feel powerful instead of helpless. Then I woke up.

Tomorrow is my last day of Stage 1 AND my first day of Stage 2. I will complete my last (3) hours of Stage 1 during the day and begin Stage 2 at night. Excited to move forward, create new imbalances, and ultimately grow as a man.

This a short one. I began Stage 2 last night and like Stage 1, I dreamt vividly. Of what I don't remember, but I do recall it wasn't positive, nor overwhelmingly negative.

I'm going through that period where I'm questioning whether or not this is working.

You mentioned so many positive changes and improvements though

(12-29-2014, 09:46 PM)dissonance Wrote: [ -> ]You mentioned so many positive changes and improvements though

It's sometimes hard to say if changes come from sub, or from yourself. It's so easy to simply say: "Everything good that happened is due to sub, everything bad due to resistance". Billions of people have similar experiences without the subs, so it is valid question sub is working, or if it was just someone's better day.

The sub is most likely working. At the heart of my questioning otherwise is this: I expected to feel like shit, or at least exhausted more often than not. Funny that I'm disappointed those expectations have not been met. Perusing through AM5 and AM6 user journals led me to believe this would be a rough trip. I'm only half way into Stage 2 so the road may still wind—and I'm ready for it. As this is my first sub ever, perhaps I don't fully appreciate the effects of the naturalizer. I get 8-12 hours of exposure a day, averaging about 9.5. As per the instructions, 8 is min and 21 is max. By those standards, I'm on the low end, but I did find a thread (which I'm having trouble finding again) that suggested around 11 hours is optimal for AM6.

I've noticed and experienced a few things recently that I think are connected to the sub:

The other day I actually did feel like shit. I got up early for work (having slept 8 hours), went in for a 4 hour shift, then headed to the gym. Well I had some random anxiety in the morning and I was absolutely useless at the gym so I said fuck it and drove home. All the while I hadn't eaten because I do intermittent fasting. So I was tired, hungry, and weak from an intense workout a couple days earlier. I started feeling down on the drive home and it got worse once I got in. It was like a dump truck unloaded all the shit in my life (mostly self-generated and self-maintained) onto my then poor, weak conscious mind. It was rough. Haven't felt that way in a long time. It took will power and self-talk spoken aloud to crush it and the thought that I was experiencing resistance actually made me feel better because it's evidence that change is taking place. Even my dad said something to the effect of, "You're in a don't talk to me mood."

Fast forward a couple of days and I'm at work again. I'm talking to this guy who starts fighting with me over a broken product that he admits to having damaged accidentally; claiming that because it broke, it's defective. Well I'm usually a wealth of patience but my blood started to boil and I turned into a dick—which is out of character for me. I was bothered by the fact that this man wouldn't take responsibility for his actions and had the audacity to argue. It was only hours later that I thought, "Hey I had a Stage 2 moment. Cool."

Which brings us to today. I'm at the gym, and these hot girls were near me for almost my entire workout and...you ready for this? I didn't care. That's a big deal for me. I usually become self conscious in the presence of women I'm attracted to and being so aware of every little aspect of myself actually gets in the way of acting naturally. Not today. On top of that I was comfortable and assertive talking to guys about when they'd be done with equipment I needed or letting them know that I wasn't done—with the exception of one mean looking dude whom I avoided. I also noticed girls noticing me.

Cool.

Had an amazing time two nights ago. Met with work friends and friends of friends at a bar. Now I don't have much experience with the bar scene and last time I was awkward and reserved, especially in the presence of women. To give you an idea (pre AM6) I'm a cross between outgoing and introvert. Well the former took over on Saturday. I walked into the place and felt naturally relaxed and confident. I walked into a group of people I didn't know and held my frame as I mingled. I engaged new people in conversation—including a couple of attractive ladies who showed interest in what I had to say. Too bad they were with their boyfriends. I was charismatic and I felt attractive, but confident more than anything else. My body language reflected this too. And very little of my actions and behaviour was conscious. I observed my own self the whole time and the little voice in my head was thinking, "Who is this guy?" If that's not evidence of AM6 working I don't know what is. That's how a man should feel. I still had insecurities and felt a little bit of social anxiety, but both were heavily diluted. I now understand what was meant by supplementing your listening time with reading materials and *social interactions*. You need to expose yourself to situations in which you can use this new programming. I listened to the most awkward conversation between a female coworker and this guy who was trying to charm her. I felt embarrassed for him. He looked and sounded so outcome dependent. She sort of laughed him off when I brought him up after the fact. Bottom line is it feels good to feel good and it felt right to feel that way. I can't think of anything other than AM6 as being responsible for the way I was that night. Glad to finally be in the meat of it. Look forward to more of this.

I've felt more confident overall, especially in the presence of attractive women. I'm not used to feeling attractive and deserving of them. I still have my moments but I recognize the change and I trust that consistency will come.

I want to touch on supplementary material.

As per Shannon's insistence, I've read:

How To Become An Alpha Male: Attract Women and Become Successful At Seduction, by John Alexander
Double Your Dating, by David DeAngelo

I understand why John Alexander's book is Shannon's top recommendation and I plan to re-read both of these titles but I will admit that David DeAngelo reminds me too much of the corny PUA stuff I was into a number of years ago. There are some valuable insights though. The following book has been recommended by a number of people on the forum:

The Unchained Man: The Alpha Male 2.0 by Caleb Jones aka Blackdragon

This book is nothing short of amazing. I found it to be both relevant and thorough. Jones identifies a new kind of Alpha, one unbound by the shortcomings of the Alpha 1.0—as he defines it; and made possible by the technology and values of our age. Jones positions lifestyle choices that you may not agree with, but this is a necessary read IMO because it explores the alpha not just in relation to women (and extensively at that) but to other important facets of life. And it's well written.

Let it be known that I have no affiliation with the author. I'm just a fan of the book.

Books on my reading list:

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
Sigma Shock by Crion Black

Keep in mind AM6 came out before Alpha Male 2.0 came out. But I agree, despite some drawbacks it is amazing book.