After don't updating this journal for some time here is a quick update. Stage 2 delivered many ups and downs until the end. There were days I felt fantastic and confident like never before and some days where I felt pretty much down. At the end of Stage 2 I had to do MIR again, so I had to add some extra days. It's been the second Stage of SM where I had to do MIR and add days for that reason. It felt like life is putting some barriers in my way while doing SM.
When it comes to Stage 3 so I don't know what it contains exactly but it feels like there is the masculinity and/or the animal magnetism aura inside. But maybe it's just something different that make me feel more my masculine side. However, this Stage made me take some action regarding some situations I have been in. So I decided to cut off the girl I was talking about in previous posts. I cannot cut her off completely for the reasons I mentioned but I did as much I can do under this circumstances. But I also told her the reasons I had to do so because I think being honest is one of the important traits of an Alpha Male. She seemed to accept this but was also somehow pissed when she realized that I really don't talk to her or hang out with her. We will see how it will work out. There is also another girl I have to talk to. It's about different stuff, but I also have to make a point there. The thing is, I felt like crap for an hour or so after I made the decision and talked to her but at the same time I felt really empowered and good. Probably for the first time in my life I really felt like I am beginning to live my life on my own rules.
When it comes to sex so there is still nothing new. For my opinion it's because the illness, the circumstances I have to deal with, my time schedule and my finances. This all together prevented me from being very social in the last few weeks. I am just hoping the sh*t ends until the end of the year and the new year will be a great one.
Until now this stage brought a lot of anger and aggression in the same way as sleeplessness. There were nights where I only slept about 2 hours. But I am also noticing positive changes about certain things. Like someone wrote in a WM journal I am starting to see the inner beauty of women (especially women). So there was a woman who absolutely wasn't my type, but I could still see her as a beauty. Also my fear of telling to other what's going on for me had decreased. So I became more open and honest about some points here which makes easier to connect to others. And during the week there were two women who seemed to be turned on just by my presence where I really didn't expect it for certain reasons. Last week was some kind of crazy because while going through the city I had really many women almost running into me. It's like I became a strange kind of "Women Magnet"...
As the sub provide "STD detection" I am starting to ask myself how do I notice it? It's because the week I saw a woman who was my type, but I didn't feel attraction. Instead almost immediately there came the thought in my mind "No, she might have an STD". Could it really work in so direct way?
I guess it works like intuition so yes.
Had some kind of transformational dream last night. I had to put a all my stuff into some kind of portal and then jump into it. This portal was supposed to bring me into a new dimension. I woke up before I could jump inside, but I felt like I would do that. Hope I really come to a new level.
(11-24-2014, 11:16 AM)Ricardo Wrote: [ -> ] (11-24-2014, 11:14 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.
Don't bank on it.
Lol man thats a terrible attitude.
(12-26-2014, 04:21 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Hope I really come to a new level.
Or a new dimension.
Today is the last day of Stage 3. Had to add a day extra due to the missed hours. There isn't much new since my last post. I feel like I became a bit cold and I feel like sex with no strings attached is exactly what I want and need for now. But I also got a much better idea of the kind of woman I want to be in future. Oh, a MILF I already knew seems to be really interested in me, but it also looks like she is interested in more than just sex so it's not an option and she isn't really what I am looking for. I wonder if it is a manifestation of this program. If so, than doing EPRHA (what I am planning after SM3 anyway) and AM6 after SM should be a good idea to attract the kind of women I am really interested in.
(01-04-2015, 11:00 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Today is the last day of Stage 3. Had to add a day extra due to the missed hours. There isn't much new since my last post. I feel like I became a bit cold and I feel like sex with no strings attached is exactly what I want and need for now. But I also got a much better idea of the kind of woman I want to be in future. Oh, a MILF I already knew seems to be really interested in me, but it also looks like she is interested in more than just sex so it's not an option and she isn't really what I am looking for. I wonder if it is a manifestation of this program. If so, than doing EPRHA (what I am planning after SM3 anyway) and AM6 after SM should be a good idea to attract the kind of women I am really interested in.
You could always make it clear your intentions, she might go for it just in the hopes she "hooks" you. Course, it's up to you whether you go further or not.
(01-04-2015, 11:20 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ] (01-04-2015, 11:00 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Today is the last day of Stage 3. Had to add a day extra due to the missed hours. There isn't much new since my last post. I feel like I became a bit cold and I feel like sex with no strings attached is exactly what I want and need for now. But I also got a much better idea of the kind of woman I want to be in future. Oh, a MILF I already knew seems to be really interested in me, but it also looks like she is interested in more than just sex so it's not an option and she isn't really what I am looking for. I wonder if it is a manifestation of this program. If so, than doing EPRHA (what I am planning after SM3 anyway) and AM6 after SM should be a good idea to attract the kind of women I am really interested in.
You could always make it clear your intentions, she might go for it just in the hopes she "hooks" you. Course, it's up to you whether you go further or not.
Maybe, I have to see how the things go further. And I already mentioned to her that I have no time for a relationship right now, so who knows.
Didn't update for a long time because not much happened. At the end of stage 3 I saw that other men gave me their attention, it was like I become the center of attention when others are talking to me. Of course I can't know for sure, but the body language they gave me indicated it.
When it comes to stage 4 I can't tell very much here. It's funny, because I read LionKing's journal and he seemed to have a similar experience here. It looks like we experience many similarities while listening to the subs (I noticed already with AM6), at least more than I could see from other people here. But one thing is different. My sexdrive went really up. I feel horny most of the time. It's some kind of miracle that I don't stare at women's boobs or asses all the time. It's in fact so high that I really consider doing AYPNSL after SM. It's still in 4G but maybe it will change (Shannon?
). However, I am almost done with stage 4. Have to add a couple of days due to the missing hours, but not many. Looking forward for the next stage.
I stares at boobs and ass all the time, I even make it obvious so they see me doing it. It's fine keep staring
extravagant attitudes like it's no big deal
and it is :angel:
(02-05-2015, 06:30 AM)maniac360 Wrote: [ -> ]I stares at boobs and ass all the time, I even make it obvious so they see me doing it. It's fine keep staring extravagant attitudes like it's no big deal and it is :angel:
Hehe, if I do, I don't hide it, too. But I was staring more before AM. Maybe because I felt more needy, don't know. But at that time I wasn't comfortable with and tried to hide it.
(02-05-2015, 05:45 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]When it comes to stage 4 I can't tell very much here. It's funny, because I read LionKing's journal and he seemed to have a similar experience here. It looks like we experience many similarities while listening to the subs (I noticed already with AM6), at least more than I could see from other people here. But one thing is different. My sexdrive went really up.
Ok, interesting.. yep, stage 4 was pretty much nothing for me. Then somewhere towards the middle of stage 5 it got a little better, then had a short depression about girls only wanting Disney and now things have been going up. I had a very high sex drive at some point, maybe S3-S4, but it then slowly declined to almost nothing. Right now I'm suddenly horny again - the trigger was either me starting to watch a bit of porn again or the start of stage 6 (day 3 today).
Have you gotten good progress on the performance/stamina front? I'm missing those effects, they're only mentioned in the manual for stages 1-3 and I did a lot of pstec during the 1st half of the program, so I'm thinking I could still get a lot more out of the program with a 2nd, 'proper', run-through now that I have some momentum before going back to AM next winter. But then if it just plain didn't work properly that could be 6 months wasted. Gotta check how Sarge feels about EPRHA after SM too..
(02-05-2015, 11:10 AM)LionKing Wrote: [ -> ]Have you gotten good progress on the performance/stamina front? I'm missing those effects, they're only mentioned in the manual for stages 1-3 and I did a lot of pstec during the 1st half of the program, so I'm thinking I could still get a lot more out of the program with a 2nd, 'proper', run-through now that I have some momentum before going back to AM next winter. But then if it just plain didn't work properly that could be 6 months wasted. Gotta check how Sarge feels about EPRHA after SM too..
I can't tell something concrete because I couldn't test it with a woman. But my impression is, that I would come sooner than before. It's not the fault of the program but more a side effect from doing (almost) no porn and masturbating very seldom. In the years before I did a lot of porn and had much trouble to make myself come. The other thing is, the programs (SM as well as AM) require a lot of energy and this seem to have negative impact on the stamina (at least for me). I noticed already with AM6. About four days after finishing AM (and doing no subs) the problem was solved and I had the energy I needed. I think I have to check it after I completed SM.