Subliminal Talk

Hmm, that's difficult. Doing something would create drama, doing nothing would leave her thinking she can do whatever she want without consequences because I don't tell anything.

(11-23-2014, 01:58 PM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Hmm, that's difficult. Doing something would create drama, doing nothing would leave her thinking she can do whatever she want without consequences because I don't tell anything.

How's that? What's the problem?

Not sure I can make it really clear. Since I was pretty much beta as we started to know each other she knew she "had me" somehow. And I am sure she thinks she still has to some degree. So if I don't tell her that I am not ok with what she has done then nothing will change. If I do she probably will go into drama mode. Hope it makes sense. Anyway, I think I should get some sleep soon, it's late here.

(11-23-2014, 02:31 PM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure I can make it really clear. Since I was pretty much beta as we started to know each other she knew she "had me" somehow. And I am sure she thinks she still has to some degree. So if I don't tell her that I am not ok with what she has done then nothing will change. If I do she probably will go into drama mode. Hope it makes sense. Anyway, I think I should get some sleep soon, it's late here.

Hmm, well don't know what happened. I also don't know the best course of action. However, it has been my pleasure to experience the shift in a woman who has seen me as "beta/unimportant" to taking notice to me in a BIG way.

All that matters here is that if you are Alpha, she will notice. You don't have to tell her. IN FACT, talking about it is actually LESS likely to prove your case. Much like people who try to convince you of something, the more they try, the less you believe them.

So I take that into account when I see a girl is liking me less. I know it's only temporary. Additionally, I look at my behaviors that seem to have led to such an assumption, and learn to fix them.

The more I think the more I come to the conclusion that there isn't an ideal solution for this situation. Telling her could work and just don't care about, too. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions Sarge and thanks for your post Maniac. Ideas from different persons are helpful to get a bigger picture.

(11-24-2014, 09:19 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]The more I think the more I come to the conclusion that there isn't an ideal solution for this situation. Telling her could work and just don't care about, too. Anyway, thanks for the suggestions Sarge and thanks for your post Maniac. Ideas from different persons are helpful to get a bigger picture.

Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.

(11-24-2014, 11:14 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.

Don't bank on it.

(11-24-2014, 11:14 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.

Yeah, my mind tells me the same, but my emotions are not yet 100% there. But to some degree I also want to get this handled just to be able to handle similar (difficult) situations in future. Even if situations like that eventually get less if I get more alpha.

(11-24-2014, 11:16 AM)Ricardo Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-24-2014, 11:14 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.

Don't bank on it.

Well, there is no guarantee, but there is some hope

(11-24-2014, 11:16 AM)Ricardo Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-24-2014, 11:14 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Speaking of bigger picture, it might also help to realize it is one girl in the sea of women you're sure to encounter during your life.

Don't bank on it.

Lol, are you serious? Just go to the mall. You'll find hundreds within an hour.

Have seen her today. I decided just to ask her first what she has done last Friday (because she just said she wasn't there) and not going further (at this time). What she said confirmed in an indirect way that she wasn't completely honest with me but it also made some sense why she did it. On this point I decided to not telling her more. The thing is I cannot tell what was going on for her so I cannot tell if she was just flaking on me but I also consider the chance that the reason she told was real. I am also considering the option that it's just me who is wrong because even if this stage brought some results I can see it also brought some negativity and feelings of insecurity up to the surface. Maybe here is a reason for an overly huge mistrust. So Sarge's hint to just consider that she could be lying from time to time and not taking it further is here for several reasons the best option.

The good thing is, yesterday I did some PSTEC on some negative emotions and memories towards her. And surprisingly she seemed very open today and invited me to some stuff. She didn't do it for a longer time and she wasn't so open as well for longer.

At the end of the week I will have finished stage 2 and already looking forward to stage 3. So far for now.

Yesterday I have been at a party. Nothing special happened, but I felt sooo confident and comfortable there like never before at such an event (surprisingly it was even better before I drank alcohol). Have been talking to many people there but wondered a bit about my problems with building a real connection with women. After thinking for a while about this stuff I realized that I just don't have enough genuine interest in other people. It's definitely something I have to change, but I don't know the reason yet.

(11-27-2014, 09:15 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]Yesterday I have been at a party. Nothing special happened, but I felt sooo confident and comfortable there like never before at such an event (surprisingly it was even better before I drank alcohol). Have been talking to many people there but wondered a bit about my problems with building a real connection with women. After thinking for a while about this stuff I realized that I just don't have enough genuine interest in other people. It's definitely something I have to change, but I don't know the reason yet.

I have/had this. Now that I'm on SM, it's almost like I'm carefree, yet people seem to be taking more of an interest in me now. I'm not sure you need to be interested in others, tbh.

(11-27-2014, 04:51 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I have/had this. Now that I'm on SM, it's almost like I'm carefree, yet people seem to be taking more of an interest in me now. I'm not sure you need to be interested in others, tbh.

People seem also more interested in me, too, and therefore they are starting to talk to me. So the begin is not a big problem but to go further is one (at least for now).

I just think connection is a two way thing. And if I am not really interested in other people how do I connect to them? Especially with women on the emotional level. And like I said it's not a lack of interest to certain people (which would be ok), it feels like a general disinterest.

(11-28-2014, 12:29 AM)sebastian Wrote: [ -> ]I just think connection is a two way thing. And if I am not really interested in other people how do I connect to them? Especially with women on the emotional level. And like I said it's not a lack of interest to certain people (which would be ok), it feels like a general disinterest.

Well it just happens lol. You bring up something, and someone will bring up something similar that they experienced. I used to TRY to "bond" like that, but now I'm finding people are the ones trying it with me I'll literally say something in passing and someone will chime in "I had a similar experience!" lol it's almost off-putting but it's cool.

As for women, you both have attraction/sex in common. I'd say stick to that, the other stuff comes with time, but is not a prerequisite.