Day 224; listen day 2; cycle 33.
I had a realization this morning, before I ran the day's loops.
I have been consciously self-talking, overcoming different possible objections to my running USLM. When I woke up, I realized that I have been arguing with something that isn't real. Something that, for lack of a better term, I called "echoes". As in "echoes of my past". Put differently, I was arguing against leftover toxic beliefs that I have long rejected consciously, but were still lurking around.
So there's no doubt - running E5 for the full 8 months is necessary. Because some stuff just takes a while to get handled. And E5 will handle it when you use as directed.
Day 225; listen day 3; cycle 33.
Another early-morning realization.
I don't do well with routine. As much as I claim to want a calm, stable life, I get bored quickly. I haven't thought through the implications of that realization, yet.
Day 226; listen day 4; cycle 33.
Day 227; listen day 5; cycle 33.
Busy days. Quiet overall.
Day 228; rest day 1; cycle 33.
Day 229; rest day 2; cycle 33.
Also busy and quiet.
Had a "lucky break" last week. In a conversation with teammates about making a needed configuration change, I learned about how a related configuration was implemented, exclusively for executives. Later that day, I got brought in to a conference call, because the CIO needed that exact same configuration. What would have taken me time to track down before I could implement I was able to do in seconds - because of the discussion earlier that day.
Day 230; listen day 1; cycle 34.
Busy and quiet, still.
Day 231; listen day 2; cycle 34.
My subconscious attitude toward money and wealth came to my conscious mind again. It is a toxic belief born of fear - that if I ever become financially comfortable, let alone wealthy, that other problems will come along that I've never had to deal with before. Medical problems, relationship problems, whatever. So, as the toxic belief goes, better the problems you know - financial - than the problems you don't.
A week and a half left on E5. Plenty of time for this toxic belief to be addressed. And if there's any vestige of it left, USLM has its own contents for dealing with it.
Day 232; listen day 3; cycle 34.
Quiet day again.
Day 233; listen day 4; cycle 34.
Didn't rest well overnight. General headache most of the morning. Tired all day and evening.
Day 234; listen day 5; cycle 34.
Better day. Rested well.
I *want* to get past the toxic belief about wealth that I have identified. I want to be rid of it. That will be a big step forward for me to reach the level of financial success I want.
One more week of E5, two weeks' break, and then USLM.
Day 235; rest day 1; cycle 34.
Day 236; rest day 2; cycle 34.
Busy days. Very tiring.
Day 237; listen day 1; cycle 35.
Final week of E5. Including the post-run bloom, this is the last of E5's work on me. Whatever remains to be worked on after that will have to be addressed by other subs.
USLM is next. I have ideas about subsequent subs, but those ideas are likely to be overtaken by events, both in the release of new subs and in changes in me from USLM.
Day 238; listen day 2; cycle 35.
A bit of anxiety in the evening. Haven't had that happen in a while. Anticipation of more good things coming? A last gasp by my subconscious to hang on to a toxic belief? The awesome power of 'and'?
Day 239; listen day 3; cycle 35.
Busy, quiet day.
Day 240; listen day 4; cycle 35.
Quiet again.