Day 178; rest day 1; cycle 26
A good day. I was in a generally lighthearted mood for most of it. The rest was "calm/positive".
A flash of anxiety later in the evening. These flashes have also been of the "anticipation/expectation" kind.
Had trouble winding down and getting to sleep. A scattershot variety of thoughts passing through my mind. Nothing negative, just stuff.
Day 179; rest day 2; cycle 26
Quiet day. A little lighthearted, a mild flash of anxiety in the afternoon.
Day 180; listen day 1; cycle 27
Quiet day overall.
I noticed something late in the loops. I started feeling "trapped" in my home office, like I needed to step out and couldn't, because I need to listen to the sub. Which is nonsense, because I listen to the loops on my tablet and can easily pick it up and take it with me. This isn't the first time this has happened, but I didn't recognize it before. Sounds like there's still some resistance going on.
Two months left. And work still needing to be done. I'm looking forward to the outcome.
Day 181; listen day 2; cycle 27
Much like the day before.
When the urge to step out hit, I consciously resisted the urge. At that point, the usual headache hit - back of my head, above and behind the left ear. This lasted for about a minute.
Day 182; listen day 3; cycle 27
Quiet day again. Slept well.
Day 183; listen day 4; cycle 27
Quiet day. Trouble sleeping. The current job - last day is today - seems bound and determined to make me glad that I'm leaving. I don't want to burn bridges, but I'm not going to get treated like a trained animal, either.
Day 184; listen day 5; cycle 27
Quiet day. Last day on the old job. And there's that one guy who just wants that last piece of me.
Eh, it's over. Had a good conversation/exit interview with the big boss, and parted ways professionally and with goodwill.
Had another flash of insight, this time expressed poetically.
"I have fought a million battles
In the darkness of my mind.
None have seen the light of day."
First, it's not often that I get poetic inspiration. As in years apart. Second, it's a reference to my tendency to have discussions "in advance" that never happen. That's an expression of stress and a way of boiling it off. I'd like to find a better way to handle that kind of stress.
And I've got a little under two months left on this run of E5. Potential remains.
I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.
Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.
(03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.
Bingo. Same here.
(03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.
Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.
(03-05-2022, 12:10 PM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ] (03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.
Bingo. Same here.
(03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.
Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.
I am so happy for you. Way to go!
(03-05-2022, 01:33 PM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ] (03-05-2022, 12:10 PM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ] (03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]I have that tendency to imagine future conversations in my head as well. When I notice I try to stop it as it usually takes a negative direction and rarely is an accurate representation of what the conversation really does end up being, if it actually happens at all.
Bingo. Same here.
(03-05-2022, 09:26 AM)Frosted Wrote: [ -> ]Great job taking a mature exit with your job despite your grievances.
Thanks. It wasn't difficult overall. It's good people in a good company, going in a good direction. The new job is just that much better.
I am so happy for you. Way to go!
Thanks. It took longer to get through the preliminaries for this job, but it's a good move.
Day 185; rest day 1; cycle 27
Quiet day. Got some stuff done around the house. Decompressing from the old job.
Day 186; rest day 2; cycle 27
Much like the day before. Decompressing from the old job is happening quicker and easier than I expected.
(03-07-2022, 03:00 PM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ]Day 186; rest day 2; cycle 27
Much like the day before. Decompressing from the old job is happening quicker and easier than I expected.
Thats Great Man!!