Day 97; listen day 2; cycle 15
Anxiety at the start again. Quiet otherwise.
Made a connection at work with a guy in a department I'm interested in moving to. I've only been at the company for a few months, so I think it's more ethical to give my current role a year of my best before moving on. On the other hand, my manager knows I want to move to something else, so it won't be a surprise when the time comes.
Day 98; listen day 3; cycle 15
Much like the day before. Anxiety at the beginning, quiet day otherwise.
Overall, I am mentally sharper than I have been in a while. This has been true for the last week or so. It feels good to be on a roll like this.
Day 99; listen day 4; cycle 15
Day was a bust for listening. Work was heavy with meetings.
Even so, I had the familiar head pressure after a good night's sleep last night.
Day 100; listen day 5; cycle 15
Something new: no anxiety flashes before or during the loops. Just head pressure.
And something else new. Flashes of joy that almost brought tears to my eyes. And tears of joy are the opposite of pain.
I think that I built a shell around my deeper emotions, to keep from getting hurt, and E5 is working on that shell. So the flashes of joy are "leaks" from inside the shell. I think there's also some things inside that shell that need to be healed. Four and a half months left on this run. Lots still to do.
Day 101; rest day 1; cycle 15
A bit of anxiety shortly after I posted the above entry. Seems my subconscious doesn't want my emotional defenses addressed, or what's buried deep to be healed.
Thing is, we need some degree of emotional defenses. Going around emotionally "naked" would be self-destructive. And it is that emotional nakedness that the subconscious fears and resists - if the one extreme, the hard defensive shell, goes away, the subconscious fears that there will be no healthy defenses.
Or, I'm off base in my thinking about this somewhere in the above.
Day 102; rest day 2; cycle 15
Quiet day. Very little head pressure. No anxiety.
Day 103; listen day 1; cycle 16
Very quiet day. Odd dream overnight, but I don't remember details.
Day 104; listen day 2; cycle 16
Rollercoaster day; not extreme, just ups and downs.
I find myself recovering from the downs more easily. My self talk turns positive more quickly, and I get back on an even keel. That's definitely new since I started E5.
Day 105; listen day 3; cycle 16
Quiet day on the sub front; busy at work.
I see that I've made the testimonies thread twice now. I'm glad. Anything I can offer from my experiences that is of benefit to IML and to others reading is fine by me. We're all on our journeys together, even though our paths are different.
Day 106; listen day 4; cycle 16
A more normal day. Anxiety at the beginning of the loops, etc.
While working out, a song came up on the playlist we had running that is significant for a specific time in my life, one that has always had a lot of pain associated with it. So much that I usually can't listen to that song.
This time, very different. I didn't feel any pain while listening to the song. I was able to enjoy the song, acknowledge the past event it is associated with, and keep on with my workout. Because I'm not that man anymore. I'm not the man who was hurt that way, all those years ago. I am a better version of that man. And that pain is gone.
(12-17-2021, 05:42 AM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ]Day 106; listen day 4; cycle 16
A more normal day. Anxiety at the beginning of the loops, etc.
While working out, a song came up on the playlist we had running that is significant for a specific time in my life, one that has always had a lot of pain associated with it. So much that I usually can't listen to that song.
This time, very different. I didn't feel any pain while listening to the song. I was able to enjoy the song, acknowledge the past event it is associated with, and keep on with my workout. Because I'm not that man anymore. I'm not the man who was hurt that way, all those years ago. I am a better version of that man. And that pain is gone.
Wow. Man thats awesome thats really awesome. inspiring. Have a great weekend and yawl havw a good christmas time,as well. blessings and light.
(12-17-2021, 06:25 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (12-17-2021, 05:42 AM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ]Day 106; listen day 4; cycle 16
A more normal day. Anxiety at the beginning of the loops, etc.
While working out, a song came up on the playlist we had running that is significant for a specific time in my life, one that has always had a lot of pain associated with it. So much that I usually can't listen to that song.
This time, very different. I didn't feel any pain while listening to the song. I was able to enjoy the song, acknowledge the past event it is associated with, and keep on with my workout. Because I'm not that man anymore. I'm not the man who was hurt that way, all those years ago. I am a better version of that man. And that pain is gone.
Wow. Man thats awesome thats really awesome. inspiring. Have a great weekend and yawl havw a good christmas time,as well. blessings and light.
Thanks! Merry Christmas!
Day 107; listen day 5; cycle 16
Quiet day. "Normal" anxiety at the beginning of the loops. Little to no head pressure.
Had a good holiday luncheon at work. I felt like I was at the "cool kids" end of the table without trying to be. More comfortable in my own skin that I used to be in such situations. Barely drained of energy after it was over - I'm a introvert - and had no problems with the rest of the evening, including a second, less interactive, event.
I had to go back and read the product description for E5 to see if this is in the direct scope of the sub, or a side effect. It's directly in scope in several ways.
Self Validation - comfortable in my own skin
Training yourself to heal and regenerate automatically - less drained
Appreciate yourself in all the right ways to allow for maximum success in self regeneration and healing - both of the above
Physical, mental and emotional relaxation to maximize and benefit healing and regeneration - direct effect and side effect
I'm going to stop there, but that's far from exhaustive. E5 is amazing.
(12-18-2021, 06:44 AM)ReconGunner Wrote: [ -> ]Day 107; listen day 5; cycle 16
Quiet day. "Normal" anxiety at the beginning of the loops. Little to no head pressure.
Had a good holiday luncheon at work. I felt like I was at the "cool kids" end of the table without trying to be. More comfortable in my own skin that I used to be in such situations. Barely drained of energy after it was over - I'm a introvert - and had no problems with the rest of the evening, including a second, less interactive, event.
I had to go back and read the product description for E5 to see if this is in the direct scope of the sub, or a side effect. It's directly in scope in several ways.
Self Validation - comfortable in my own skin
Training yourself to heal and regenerate automatically - less drained
Appreciate yourself in all the right ways to allow for maximum success in self regeneration and healing - both of the above
Physical, mental and emotional relaxation to maximize and benefit healing and regeneration - direct effect and side effect
I'm going to stop there, but that's far from exhaustive. E5 is amazing.
Is your healing almost done? You are comfortable in your owe skin. Most people don't get there.