07-12-2021, 11:13 AM
I should have started a journal a long time ago with OF3. I have had many experiences that I may not remember fully at this point but I'll share the things I recall.
The most notable experience to me is the complex multi-layer dreams that I have. Situations, people, places, and events as well as emotions from various times and places in my life all amalgamized into one, cohesive dream. I have never experienced anything quite like it.
Had a few rough days and a few outbursts but my emotional state is much better than before OF3. Body tension is reduced drastically. Head chatter is still there, but not to the degree it used to be. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I think that stuck with me. However, I am making the descision to choose a state of mind that is void of any of that and is calm and collected. Joe Dispenza and the heartmath meditations as well as their at-home sensor to tell when you are in coherence is helping. Kept seeing heartmath show up in my life; Joe Dispenza, William Tiller, as well as other books so I decided to take the hint and choose that form of meditation to go with. 30mins to 1 hour every day.
One thing that OF3 has done that other subs before have not is to adjust the undercurrent of my emotional state. It always felt like I was trying to put in an excessive amount of conscious effort to make subs work, which by nature, puts me into a striving type mentality and is therefore counterproductive. OF3 is doing it's job regardless of that behavior and is actually pumping the brakes on it. The root of that thought process must have been fear, probably the fear of not being good enough I'd say.
I recently had an amount of time, roughly 2 weeks I'd say, where I holed up in my room and checked out of life as much as I could. I thought it may have been a response to OF3 but I attempted to do nothing to try and stop myself. No deep depression like I've had on other subs, just a desire to recluse. I didn't attempt to stop any behaviors that were most likely coping mechanisms and no beating myself up for my behavior either, just let it all play out. I knew OF3 would resolve whatever was happening and sure enough last night I "woke up from a dream" so to speak. Every so often on OF3 I'll get moments of emotional clarity. Like all the roundabout, complex and layered ways fear maintains a foothold in the life of someone have been pulled away and I see my behavior for what it is; a response to the fear.
If I had to describe the main vice in my life it would have to be fear. Over the years it has progressively, and silently hemmed in my life in more facets and ways and, like ratchet straps, held me in place tighter and tighter as my life has continued on. The sub I was on before was the new MLS and because of fear I felt like I was full on pressing the breaks and gas at the same time in a car that had enough horsepower to overcome its stopping power. The tension and stress was quite hard despite the things in MLS that reduced or prevented it. One day, during a meditation, I felt like I touched the main issue of my life. That issue was fear. I could feel it like a ball in my heart area and I was planning maintain my MLS run but it became clear quickly that dealing with fear in such a way might not be the most productive way to go about it. I knew the "brakes" on MLS was due to fear and that I would soldier on through it and maybe overcome it but it would probably take longer and I'd suffer through the multi-layer state of gas and brakes at the same time for a while. It was possible for me to burn out in that state as it was so exhausting and from day 2 on did not let up unless I was on an off day. So after buying OF3 I switched over after a few days rest and haven't looked back.
I believe I made the correct decision. My OF3 run has been marked by less stress, less body tension, less hopelessness, less self-condemnation and judgment, less self-pity and hate, fewer and fewer coping mechanisms and a much more relaxed life outlook. I've also been enjoying music much more as I now don't use it as a distraction to not consciously think about fear.
But don't think that I was a big bundle of overt and obvious fear that all could see. Mine was subtle and quiet; painting the layers of my conscious and unconscious mind and without words or obvious thoughts was fencing in my life more and more until I felt locked in place. It was this year that I really started to feel like I was trapped internally and started to seek some answers. Luckily OF3 operates in the manner it does and that I decided to use it.
Currently, not much looks different on the outside but I can tell things are changing internally. Slowly and steadily OF3 is rooting out all the fear in my life and my thought processes and emotional state of being are beginning to reflect that. I also feel like OF3 is the first sub to really get at the core and baseline of my existence and that true change is happening in me and not just superficial things. Now other subs may have done that as well but really the reason I personally wanted to use IML subs I think was the hope that fear in me would be addressed. I have felt like I have had all subs (in my opinion) only have partial execution and I almost gave up using them as they felt almost like a carrot on a stick with no true change happening, just another false hope. That's not what's happening on OF3. It feels like true change.
On the technical side I am running one loop Ultrasonic in the morning and one at night for 3 days with a 48 hour or more break from the stop of the last loop generally. 2 in a row is overload and hybrid just makes me feel like my subconscious just shuts down and doesn't even accept the input as it's too much. I don't get tired, I actually don't feel anything and don't have dreams or any noticeable results currently so I stick to the US format. I actually switched over to using US near the end of my MLS run as it felt better and less overload. I may try hybrid again down the road but currently US is working just fine.
AKA Herrenknecht "Martina" TBM in the title is a reference to the world's largest tunnel boring machine. To me OF3 feels like it's tunneling through the bedrock of my life so I consider it an acceptable comparison.
![[Image: post-1166-1294042585.jpg]](https://www.bauforum24.biz/uploads/2011/01/post-1166-1294042585.jpg)
The most notable experience to me is the complex multi-layer dreams that I have. Situations, people, places, and events as well as emotions from various times and places in my life all amalgamized into one, cohesive dream. I have never experienced anything quite like it.
Had a few rough days and a few outbursts but my emotional state is much better than before OF3. Body tension is reduced drastically. Head chatter is still there, but not to the degree it used to be. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and I think that stuck with me. However, I am making the descision to choose a state of mind that is void of any of that and is calm and collected. Joe Dispenza and the heartmath meditations as well as their at-home sensor to tell when you are in coherence is helping. Kept seeing heartmath show up in my life; Joe Dispenza, William Tiller, as well as other books so I decided to take the hint and choose that form of meditation to go with. 30mins to 1 hour every day.
One thing that OF3 has done that other subs before have not is to adjust the undercurrent of my emotional state. It always felt like I was trying to put in an excessive amount of conscious effort to make subs work, which by nature, puts me into a striving type mentality and is therefore counterproductive. OF3 is doing it's job regardless of that behavior and is actually pumping the brakes on it. The root of that thought process must have been fear, probably the fear of not being good enough I'd say.
I recently had an amount of time, roughly 2 weeks I'd say, where I holed up in my room and checked out of life as much as I could. I thought it may have been a response to OF3 but I attempted to do nothing to try and stop myself. No deep depression like I've had on other subs, just a desire to recluse. I didn't attempt to stop any behaviors that were most likely coping mechanisms and no beating myself up for my behavior either, just let it all play out. I knew OF3 would resolve whatever was happening and sure enough last night I "woke up from a dream" so to speak. Every so often on OF3 I'll get moments of emotional clarity. Like all the roundabout, complex and layered ways fear maintains a foothold in the life of someone have been pulled away and I see my behavior for what it is; a response to the fear.
If I had to describe the main vice in my life it would have to be fear. Over the years it has progressively, and silently hemmed in my life in more facets and ways and, like ratchet straps, held me in place tighter and tighter as my life has continued on. The sub I was on before was the new MLS and because of fear I felt like I was full on pressing the breaks and gas at the same time in a car that had enough horsepower to overcome its stopping power. The tension and stress was quite hard despite the things in MLS that reduced or prevented it. One day, during a meditation, I felt like I touched the main issue of my life. That issue was fear. I could feel it like a ball in my heart area and I was planning maintain my MLS run but it became clear quickly that dealing with fear in such a way might not be the most productive way to go about it. I knew the "brakes" on MLS was due to fear and that I would soldier on through it and maybe overcome it but it would probably take longer and I'd suffer through the multi-layer state of gas and brakes at the same time for a while. It was possible for me to burn out in that state as it was so exhausting and from day 2 on did not let up unless I was on an off day. So after buying OF3 I switched over after a few days rest and haven't looked back.
I believe I made the correct decision. My OF3 run has been marked by less stress, less body tension, less hopelessness, less self-condemnation and judgment, less self-pity and hate, fewer and fewer coping mechanisms and a much more relaxed life outlook. I've also been enjoying music much more as I now don't use it as a distraction to not consciously think about fear.
But don't think that I was a big bundle of overt and obvious fear that all could see. Mine was subtle and quiet; painting the layers of my conscious and unconscious mind and without words or obvious thoughts was fencing in my life more and more until I felt locked in place. It was this year that I really started to feel like I was trapped internally and started to seek some answers. Luckily OF3 operates in the manner it does and that I decided to use it.
Currently, not much looks different on the outside but I can tell things are changing internally. Slowly and steadily OF3 is rooting out all the fear in my life and my thought processes and emotional state of being are beginning to reflect that. I also feel like OF3 is the first sub to really get at the core and baseline of my existence and that true change is happening in me and not just superficial things. Now other subs may have done that as well but really the reason I personally wanted to use IML subs I think was the hope that fear in me would be addressed. I have felt like I have had all subs (in my opinion) only have partial execution and I almost gave up using them as they felt almost like a carrot on a stick with no true change happening, just another false hope. That's not what's happening on OF3. It feels like true change.
On the technical side I am running one loop Ultrasonic in the morning and one at night for 3 days with a 48 hour or more break from the stop of the last loop generally. 2 in a row is overload and hybrid just makes me feel like my subconscious just shuts down and doesn't even accept the input as it's too much. I don't get tired, I actually don't feel anything and don't have dreams or any noticeable results currently so I stick to the US format. I actually switched over to using US near the end of my MLS run as it felt better and less overload. I may try hybrid again down the road but currently US is working just fine.
AKA Herrenknecht "Martina" TBM in the title is a reference to the world's largest tunnel boring machine. To me OF3 feels like it's tunneling through the bedrock of my life so I consider it an acceptable comparison.
. It feels like I'm locked out of myself sometimes and can't really change what's going on "under the hood" to change my experience of life. One of my goals is to have good conscious to subconscious communication. My heartmath meditation went oddly well after I settled in to meditate but it went back to my current state after I was done.