(08-01-2021, 11:46 AM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ] (08-01-2021, 11:34 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ] (08-01-2021, 10:57 AM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ] (08-01-2021, 08:24 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]As I am executing a carpet-bombing session, currently on loop 3, I see how much I resisted subliminals prior to OF3. I feel comfortable allowing OF3 deeper than any sub has gone before and it feels relaxing. The tunnel boring continues.
One thing I notice is that sometimes when OF is doing its thing I feel a feeling in my heart area that feels similar to a stuffy nose/congested feeling. It's no a physical sensation and I have never experienced this before.
Hey Chris it sound like heart chakra work is being done. But it should be warm & loving.
I agree with you. I know my heart needs some work. I guess my thoughts are more along the lines of "how long will it take to resolve this?". It's been going on for almost as long as I've been running OF and if that feeling does not subside by mid-December I may just keep running OF until it's resolved.
Keep going, its digging deep into the core. Shannon says its the root. So the journey can feel long tunnel, if all thought fears are removed...hopefully we will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I will keep going until this is resolved. Thank you for the encouragement.
After yesterday's bombing, I feel chill. I thought I'd feeling tired or something but that's not the case.
Day off today but for the next cycle, I'm thinking of going to 3 loops of hybrid. I think I can take more now and it might be better overall. We'll see how this works.
Feeling confident and less anxious. An incident at work put me in a bad mood for a second but then I moved on and let go of it. The very act of being conscious of being able to let go has helped me tremendously.
OF on the off days is really starting to shine. I use to if I'm being completely honest fear off days because I felt like the subs would wear off and I'd go back to being me. Now it's starting to look like this will be long-lasting, if not permanent, change in me. Still feel some of the old emotions and routines but I also feel OF on my days off as well.
(08-03-2021, 01:17 PM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Feeling confident and less anxious. An incident at work put me in a bad mood for a second but then I moved on and let go of it. The very act of being conscious of being able to let go has helped me tremendously.
OF on the off days is really starting to shine. I use to if I'm being completely honest fear off days because I felt like the subs would wear off and I'd go back to being me. Now it's starting to look like this will be long-lasting, if not permanent, change in me. Still feel some of the old emotions and routines but I also feel OF on my days off as well.
Hey Chris on OF V3 have you ever woke up sweating with upper body and hands hot? I am only doing 1 loop and on 3rd day woke up sweating.
(08-03-2021, 01:26 PM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ] (08-03-2021, 01:17 PM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]Feeling confident and less anxious. An incident at work put me in a bad mood for a second but then I moved on and let go of it. The very act of being conscious of being able to let go has helped me tremendously.
OF on the off days is really starting to shine. I use to if I'm being completely honest fear off days because I felt like the subs would wear off and I'd go back to being me. Now it's starting to look like this will be long-lasting, if not permanent, change in me. Still feel some of the old emotions and routines but I also feel OF on my days off as well.
Hey Chris on OF V3 have you ever woke up sweating with upper body and hands hot? I am only doing 1 loop and on 3rd day woke up sweating.
Can't say that I have. I am a rather heavy sleeper so it is rare that I even remember my dreams. Also, I've never had exessive sweating when I sleep in my entire life.
Here is a thought that just came to me. Is it possible that when we were children we would choose negative emotional states because it felt like we had some level of control over what happened in our lives?
In my personal life, I'm leaning towards yes. Although, I can't be certain because I don't remember many memories from when I was a child.
3 loops for 2 days and tonight as well. Then off days.
Yesterday was hard to tell what OF was doing. I only felt like a more in-control version of the old self rather than what OF has already accomplished. Situation at work made me anxious, but I pulled out of that mindset quickly.
Today is pretty amazing in my opinion. VERY chill, my mind isn't racing and I'm able to relax after work, something that I haven't been able to do in years. It used to be I'd kinda stay in the same state until I took some melatonin and then fall asleep. Now, I feel like I've had a beer or 2 and if I took a melatonin in this state I think I'd have a hard time thinking straight. This is good.
I've had an undercurrent of stress in my life for almost a decade and this is a wonderfully relaxed state to be in. I wouldn't mind if this continued.
It can be very hard to stick with a sub for a long period of time for me. I have a pull to learn so MLS is pulling at me again, I have a desire for enough income to start a family so there's UMS. Some really dark emotions pop up so there is EPHRA. I might just feel like jumping ship because this morning was difficult emotionally so ill just keep doing OF till december.
(08-09-2021, 10:04 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]It can be very hard to stick with a sub for a long period of time for me. I have a pull to learn so MLS is pulling at me again, I have a desire for enough income to start a family so there's UMS. Some really dark emotions pop up so there is EPHRA. I might just feel like jumping ship because this morning was difficult emotionally so ill just keep doing OF till december.
Hey Chris you need to complete this sub. It is the fear that is talking to you and trying to get you to stop. It wants you to be afraid of everything. Remember it bring up to work thru it. Don't give your power away to fear. You have come to far to let this little thing like fear get in the way. You emotions are just getting to you " This too shall pass "
(08-09-2021, 10:42 AM)Z-Man Wrote: [ -> ] (08-09-2021, 10:04 AM)Chris P. Bacon Wrote: [ -> ]It can be very hard to stick with a sub for a long period of time for me. I have a pull to learn so MLS is pulling at me again, I have a desire for enough income to start a family so there's UMS. Some really dark emotions pop up so there is EPHRA. I might just feel like jumping ship because this morning was difficult emotionally so ill just keep doing OF till december.
Hey Chris you need to complete this sub. It is the fear that is talking to you and trying to get you to stop. It wants you to be afraid of everything. Remember it bring up to work thru it. Don't give your power away to fear. You have come to far to let this little thing like fear get in the way. You emotions are just getting to you " This too shall pass "
Yea, no plans on stopping even during the hard times. It's just that I'd like to convey that this journey isn't all sunshine and roses.
I'm amazed at how quickly my mood can change on OF3. All of the turmoil this morning is gone and I feel calm again.
I'm not sure how this ties in but I take pine pollen powder to increase my testosterone and I didn't take it this morning but I took it in the afternoon and that's when I started to feel better. I only need to take such a small amount and I can feel it work. I'm not saying that that was the cause but I'm not sure what to make of it. Could be a coincidence.
Did some loops because of some stuff that happened at work. Feeling better now.
Got over some fears apparently as I am pulling the trigger on learning a language I've wanted to learn for a while. I want to listen to MLS but there is no desire now.
Because I was stressed from work I wanted to look at porn but when I tried the drive just wasn't there. I've never had PIED and it's never been a problem, but I couldn't get into it and just stopped. I'm glad as it's been a while since I could stop myself midway. Now I have energy for something else.
Barely slept last night, something was up subconsciously. There was a bit of openness in my subconscious, but much more fear last night. Carpet bombed myself a total of 8 loops last night. Feel ok today.
There was definitely an attempt to push away the sub and its effects last night but I wouldn't have it. The momentum is too encouraging to give up. Yesterday was technically day 4 of listening. Off days now.
Sometimes I see little slivers of what could be in between the cycles of dredging up and clearing and it's exciting. However, my subconscious still has a hesitancy to engage life and fully live. I know I'll die someday but the layers of fear still hold me back from living. However, it is getting better. It still tries to push OF away but it appears that the old tricks don't work, or at least don't work as well. The tunnel boring continues.
I have a feeling that life with the subconscious fully engaged will be amazing.
subconscious seems to be coming out of its fear-induced state of malady. I feel like I can focus it this morning and feel calm. My energy and focus has been scattered for years now and I couldn't remedy it and my subconscious was to afraid to listen or engage or whatever was happening. This is good. My meditation practice will benefit from this.