Subliminal Talk

Day 28

I don't have much to report other than the fact that I'm ready to transition to Stage 2. Once I satisfied my cravings for Stage 1 input, I started becoming bored with it. I couldn't have imagined that 2 weeks ago.

The temptation to switch ahead of time is strong,  but I'll hang in there. I only have a few days left of Stage 1 anyway. But I can't help but wonder if the Autoconfig is doing is thing. Apparently, I executed that part of the script very well.

Day 28 (cont'd)

Last night, I dreamed that I set fire to the roof of the house I grew up in. My intent was to set fire to one shingle to prove that it was in good shape, then put it out. Instead,  it spread and destroyed significant portions of the roof and would require major repair work. This dream seems to be in line with dreams of purification that I've had recently...burning out the weak materials so they can be replaced with something more robust. It seems to be indicative of the initial steps of change,  which is what Stage 1 had been working on.

Speaking of change, I've become more accepting of it lately. I won't go so far as to say I'm welcoming it with open arms,  but I'm not as resistant to it. Throughout my adult life, I've had a horrible tendency to glamorize the past, while neglecting the present. There's no fulfillment in living life that way.

Day 29

I had an amazing time with my wife yesterday. That has carried over into today. We were like a couple of young 20-somethings in bed earlier. By that I mean there was a lot of flirting and playfulness balanced with tenderness and romance. For the second day in a row, I told my wife how grateful I am for her and meant every word of it.

(09-07-2020, 07:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ]Day 29

I had an amazing time with my wife yesterday. That has carried over into today. We were like a couple of young 20-somethings in bed earlier. By that I mean there was a lot of flirting and playfulness balanced with tenderness and romance. For the second day in a row, I told my wife how grateful I am for her and meant every word of it.

Awesome, man.  I'm having a very similar experience with my wife.  LTU6 is pretty amazing, so far.  Can't wait to start running Stage 2!

(09-07-2020, 07:45 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(09-07-2020, 07:37 AM)NOMAD Wrote: [ -> ]Day 29

I had an amazing time with my wife yesterday. That has carried over into today. We were like a couple of young 20-somethings in bed earlier. By that I mean there was a lot of flirting and playfulness balanced with tenderness and romance. For the second day in a row, I told my wife how grateful I am for her and meant every word of it.

Awesome, man.  I'm having a very similar experience with my wife.  LTU6 is pretty amazing, so far.  Can't wait to start running Stage 2!

I'm glad you're having similar experiences. I hope others are too.

I've been very fortunate in my life and I've been guilty of taking things for granted. LTU6 is opening up parts of me that have been closed off tightly. What I'm experiencing is difficult to put into words.  The best way I can describe it is that I'm learning new ways to experience and express love.

Day 29 (cont'd)

I dreamed that I was I was in the passenger seat of a car that my dad was driving. He was driving like a maniac on a road with no shoulder on the edge of a cliff. I feared for my life. Someone from the back seat grabbed me by the shoulders and began to wrestle with me. I ordered my dad to pull over so I could deal with the guy in the back. Once we stopped, I jumped out of the car, dragged the guy onto the street and beat him unconscious. I was ruthless and I felt unstoppable. This is in stark contrast to dreams of the past where I felt like I was hindered by some resistant force as is I was fighting in water and losing.

I believe this represents overcoming fear and taking back some level of control in my life. I've given away too much power for too long.

Stage 2, Day 1

The switch to Stage 2 was somewhat jarring. Within 20 minutes of beginning my first loop, my body heated up and I had to kick my covers off of me. It was bad enough that i began to wonder if my air conditioning was messed up. Even then, I drifted off to sleep. 

I woke up midway through my fourth loop with my heart racing and my body heat on par with what I described above. Body heat gradually reduced over the last two loops but was still above baseline. There was no going back to sleep. I was having the kind of gastrointestinal issues that accompany tremendous emotional stress and I was dealing with alternating bouts of worry and anger.  I kept watching the clock and couldn't wait for my loops to end.  Finally,  they're finished and I feel like I might actually be able to go back to sleep. The gastrointestinal issues, worry, and anger are gone. Body heat is still at the level above baseline that I mentioned above 

My fist night of Stage 1 wasn't all that great either.  I'm pretty sure this will smooth out quickly.

The body heat thing is really interesting. It crops up on me very unexpectedly. There are times when i'm having a relaxed conversation in a meeting and it kicks off or i'm doing something quite innocuous like washing the dishes and it happens again. I wonder if a part of the detox is dealing with toxins which when released cause the body to react like its ill (by raising temperature) in addition to the DRS effect.

(09-11-2020, 03:00 AM)Darwin Wrote: [ -> ]The body heat thing is really interesting. It crops up on me very unexpectedly. There are times when i'm having a relaxed conversation in a meeting and it kicks off or i'm doing something quite innocuous like washing the dishes and it happens again. I wonder if a part of the detox is dealing with toxins which when released cause the body to react like its ill (by raising temperature) in addition to the DRS effect.

I think there are at least three possibilities: DRS, metabolic activity,  or energy flooding.

Does energy flooding even happen on LTU? if so I didn't realise!

(09-11-2020, 04:44 AM)Darwin Wrote: [ -> ]Does energy flooding even happen on LTU? if so I didn't realise!

I think energy flooding is in the skeleton script and can be turned on and off. Whether or not it actually made it into LTU6  or not, I don't know. It crossed my mind as a possibility,  which is why I listed it.

I was starting Stage 2 last night as well, and had the same experience - lotsa heat production. Not sure myself where that would come from.

Otherwise so far I have the strong feeling UMOP is part of stage 2, as I've had a very strong motivation to get outta bed and doing stuff again - obviously not helpful for falling asleep. 

(09-11-2020, 08:49 AM)hsindermann Wrote: [ -> ]Otherwise so far I have the strong feeling UMOP is part of stage 2, as I've had a very strong motivation to get outta bed and doing stuff again - obviously not helpful for falling asleep. 

I think you might be right. With Stage 1, I was content to just relax and "be". With Stage 2, I'm feeling a mild case of something different...similar to restlessness, but not quite.

Stage 2, Day 2

Last night, I slept better but I can't go so far as to say I slept well. In spite of that, I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm about to go tackle some home maintenance issues.

One dream I remember from last night is that someone was controlling motorized equipment that was destroying the driveway of the home I grew up in. When I got closer to the action, I realized that nobody was in any of the equipment. Something told me that there was one driver, but he was invisible. With that in mind, I charged the vehicle causing the damage, submitted the invisible man (teenage kid, probably 18-19), and questioned his motives. He said that he liked to anonymously cause damage so he could be the hero that came in and fixed it. This is the second time I've dreamed about the house I grew up in since I've been using LTU6. It's also the second time I've dreamed of having a physical altercation to seize control of a situation regarding a vehicle/motorized equipment. I interpret this to mean that I've managed to thwart some means of self-sabotage. Maybe I've been self-sabotaging myself in some manner that has gone undetected for years. I've already noted in this journal that my teenage years were the period of time that I really went off the rails...it's possible that this is what the age of the saboteur represents. Maybe this represents and attack on my childhood by my teenage self...a punk trying to destroy innocence. Maybe I've done it so that some part of me can gloat at providing a solution to that self-sabotage as a means to prop up some the teenager in me that lacks self-esteem. Hopefully, this dream indicates that the issue is beaten.