To add; I at times need to look at how much I accomplished. I notice that I think I did jackshit and thus go hard on myself about it and negative while did lots.
Also, something else thats new ( I pressume ) is that I feel I can get away with waaaaay more now that I am bigger and hit the irion around 5x a week. Training gave me privileges socially wise?
(06-10-2019, 10:16 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]To add; I at times need to look at how much I accomplished. I notice that I think I did jackshit and thus go hard on myself about it and negative while did lots.
Also, something else thats new ( I pressume ) is that I feel I can get away with waaaaay more now that I am bigger and hit the irion around 5x a week. Training gave me privileges socially wise?
I never try to think about the past dude
I've moved on from that self destructive shit now it serves no purpose
Just remember the good times and let life roll
Getting jacked should help (I'd imagine more dudes would get the f out of your way at least)
Update:
Having a huge pump and dump mentality. Seein no problem with wanting girls just for their bodies, yet other traits are presented and smoothed out. Woke up after tons of dreams which we're DMSI related yet cant recall it.
I have the resources, dominance, agression now. Tap into this potential. Being more agressive.
Lano has brought up mode 1, and I am gravitating towards directness like that more and more. Only win win while killing insecurities. Its the most direct savage way.
Also, sexdrive shot up. Everytime im done training I feel horny like no other. Post train session would be super animalistic.
Fuck porn, it puts you in a locked frame of roleplay or whatever. Be better then porn.
I imagine my current state somewhat similar to tren agression and drive.
The gym was packed with hot girls this time. Multiple 8/10s atleast. Its interesting how im (executing( wait what?)) able to read slight energy differences in girls and can someone sense their jelousy, their insecurity, horniness etc. ( now im thinking about it, it was prolly that) Pretty sure its instinct and filtering through my masculinity.
Anyway, I blocked somewhat when seeing them. It was like an awkward situation of throwing glances between us all. Even the brunette who I consider lookswise my type, went my way, to work out around me. Cute girl def.
Also, I love it when women give. Its feminine. Nourish that. Beauty needs a witness. Yet in another way idgaf aswell. Just sex straight up bang no limits, no excuses, nothing. Just straight forward sex and no hiding at all. Embracing sex and embracing myself fully, whole-ly.
Also, some part of me is literally hyped and is getting used to it. Internal shifts aswell as adjusting to a "new" reality of abundance and women and sex.
Im done in a way in keeping the fortress up. Im ready to bring it down and being present and just alpha no nonsence primal.
Update.
Im noticing how fucking thirsty girls can be, and they say guys can be thirsty smh...
Anyways,
Im feeling so good. Inner peace, love, appreciation, an sense of great wellbeing, mixed with bulletproof confidence. Life is winwin.
On the other hand, 2days ago I really felt some sort of discouragement to run DMSI. like didnt want. Fear. Also there are times that I feel im regressing, losing my mind, self attack, negative selftalk addictions and discouragement to hit the gym. Im still going and am in this cycle very social, resulting in women working out in my close vicinity, half the gym chatting me up and me just being a social butterfly. Imnot sacrificing my work ethic, im still coming there to work out and do what needs to be done
Also, im pretty sure im affected by UMS TID. its great. I notice more by only "tuning myself" into UMS.
Fuck it, im a good responder. There. I said it.
Also, im having a sense of breaking through again. Like an closing of an chapter, worked through a big 'phase'. Another is an sense of feeling an conclusion in terms of execution no matter what sub, something universal. I wonder if there is some overal traits being shared amongst Shannons subs, like an universal red thread.
Im also wondering why I did some stuff not earlier? Like, why holding back? Im comin closer to the whole "fuck it, execute" kind of thing. Duke.Tugo has written in the past about radical abandonment, something thats like this, atleast, as I understand it.
Fuck it, lets live. Fuck fear. Fuck ego.
2 days ago, I was with friends at the beach. I felt pretty much moody and general more on edge. Eventually I told quits, to cool down, no longer interested. Now, as I went to my bag, get some drinks, the guy kicked the ball and playfully insulted me. I exploded, I was about to rip his head off ( feeling more agressive last few days ) I literally told him off harshly. Ofcourse he went on the "your overreacting/chill out tour" it has set something in motion internally. Getting angry, agressive, let them know is important.
If this lead to fall out, its fine. It showed again attachment. It felt good but escalates quickly.
Aloof is one thing, realness and ripping verbally a one is another. I didnt care for another response, this was pure agression and statement. The whole "we're friends" thing doesnt cut it. Subtle jabs and laughing it off is manipulation/program training of the person 101.
Needless to say, agression is good. Lettin em know is important. Boundaries are important. No-one has privilege to treat me bad, no-one, even if we are friends.
There is power in being able to be on your own and not needin anyone.
Im also realizing im having a seething hatred for humanity. Might be an individualisation of myself kind of thing, but yes, I have it.
Why hanging out with people who are jerks to you though? Try to evaluate the situation afterward, why was the reason for him doing so? People who easily get upset are often the subject of provocation - people do things for fun just to get a reaction. I would say that 99/100 times it’s better to just shrug your shoulders and enjoy your life. Otherwise you are rules by what happens to you. Sure if someone goes around your back or deeply misuse your trust, that’s a time where anger is natural to surface, but for just small stuff the joke is on you and brought on you by yourself. Stay cool man! Don’t let small things get in your way of life. But I know that sometimes your mood can deceive you but staying on top of your emotions is a habit.
Well, its one thing to stay cool, another is to have boundaries and show it. Lately its like a massive shittest storm in my life, and yes, I know it was teasing from their side, but still, calling it out once and for all when told them clearly I was out was a no-go to me. Its also not healthy to "shrug it off" while not being okay with it imo. Have tried that and it resulted in disaster.
For me, the "shrug it off" was rooted in fear this time. Shrug it off dont show, that kinda stuff. Being aloof in that context/pretending to be cool is plain stupid imo. Voice it and dngaf. I didnt sougyt validation but expressed my not okayness with it. Realness. Authenticity instead of a "though guy" mask. I know what your hinting at tho, which I do agree with, loving life and what not, its great and amazing and more constant lately. To amazing to be fazed. Yet 2 days ago, like I said I was on edge and when I clearly told them I was out, only to be guiltripping as I made myself clear once more, is a simple matter of "start shit, get hit" Way different then the coolness of stage 1 AM6 first round.
Ok fair points but why hanging out with people who do stuff behind your back? That’s not what friends do. Not mature worthwhile friends. And you don’t owe anyone to earn their respect. Your not a f*clface-whisperer.
Nothing to add @
Greenduck . I leave it at this. Your response is spot on and im relieved at this point. Guess part of me still clings to lack, or believes in a small world. To that part I say right now, its okay. To go into the whys, the details, no, not needed if you ask me. Unnecessary reminders.
I deserve so much more. We all do.
Right. It’s not always to act on the feeling that you deserve more. I too stick with some people that not really give me much from. But some who have crossed me I have said my goodbyes to, not literally but phased out contact with. Cross me once fool on you, cross me twice fool on me. The one relationship you will have through your life is with yourself, honor that! And there are a lot of good people there looking for honest friendship if you open yourself up to it.
I deserve more as in selfworth. Being carefree, being with myself, being present, that kinda stuff. Tbh, Ive tried to find out why it is like that. Its obvious fear and comfort in an almost masochistic way, patterns comin from trauma.
You are totally right about that there are good people in this world, life is one big party to me at times, I love it. Embrace the chaos and absurdity and what not. Go freaky, fun, break out of the rigid identity.
Eventually like you said, the one relationship you have through life is with yourself, and honoring this is great.
Ion: im incredibly euphoric that life teels so awesome its slmost surreal. Holy shit. Things are shifting massively. Im feeling so goddamn wealthy its absurd, and I dig it like a mofo.
My intuition seems to be very much improved in terms of bodylanguage and IOIs. Slso a huge uptick in interest from females, aswell as more respect. I can let shit roll off way easier.
Also, change in diet which resulted in a way more stable bloodsugar seems to cause me to execute way harder. My presence seems to project sex.
More agressive, less filtered overal. Way more grounded, flirty, and escalating. As my bf% drop lower and lower, im getting increasingly confident, comfortable in my own skin and comfortable socially. Getting more ripped also draws more attention + gives myself a huge boost.
Still having UMS TID. which seem to grow stronger.
Women open me nowadays, im way more ballsy, flirty, unapologetic and sexual in tune.
I also had a shift today in terms of expression. I would always smile, in a more approval seeking way, nice, so to say. Now i let women work for it. Im aware of my masculinity, worth and kingship. This seem to be favored by the other sexe. Be into yourself first. Not groveling and all buddy buddy, its a frame setting. I smile because of my own awesomeness, not because I need her to like me. ( took a while to understand this wonky confusing energy, knew something was off )