03-26-2022, 12:22 PM
Cycle 2 (Days 10–24)
Things have shifted some. I’m feeling less filled with grief, and more quiet. This change hit about three days into this cycle, where I was surprised to find that I felt silent inside. It’s different than some other times before when I felt numb, because numbness feels thick and opaque, while this feels quiet and unsettling. The grief has been creeping up a bit but not to the level it was at before.
Is this due to UH? I honestly don’t know. My emotions go through wide swings and changes for all kinds of reasons. This emotional change coincided with it getting warmer, and I find cold weather to be emotionally crushing, so it might be that. The only way I could say that is definitely UH is by watching the longer trend, so while I appreciate the enthusiasm of the folks on this board, I’d like it if we all withheld judgement for now, and waited to see how things evolve.
I used to use an iPhone app called Documents to listen to it, but what kept happening was that while the audio kept playing, the UI of the app would freeze up, so I would lose control. In addition, Documents would burn through so much processing power playing the audio that even while it was attached to the charger at my bedside it would still drain. So I switched to VLC on my phone, and found it to be a lot better, so I’m going with that.
The logistics of actually listening continue to be bad. The popping in the wall still remains an issue, so I start my “overnight” listening as soon as I know I’m not leaving for the night, anywhere from 8PM to 10PM the night before, and then have it continue to play ultrasonic for the 8 hours. Sometimes I do need to put in earplugs when I go to sleep, so on some nights I only get half the loops in before then. I know this isn’t ideal, but that’s how it’s going to be. As soon as it warms up enough that the boiler is turned off, I’ll drop the earplugs and consistently get the time in.
Things have shifted some. I’m feeling less filled with grief, and more quiet. This change hit about three days into this cycle, where I was surprised to find that I felt silent inside. It’s different than some other times before when I felt numb, because numbness feels thick and opaque, while this feels quiet and unsettling. The grief has been creeping up a bit but not to the level it was at before.
Is this due to UH? I honestly don’t know. My emotions go through wide swings and changes for all kinds of reasons. This emotional change coincided with it getting warmer, and I find cold weather to be emotionally crushing, so it might be that. The only way I could say that is definitely UH is by watching the longer trend, so while I appreciate the enthusiasm of the folks on this board, I’d like it if we all withheld judgement for now, and waited to see how things evolve.
I used to use an iPhone app called Documents to listen to it, but what kept happening was that while the audio kept playing, the UI of the app would freeze up, so I would lose control. In addition, Documents would burn through so much processing power playing the audio that even while it was attached to the charger at my bedside it would still drain. So I switched to VLC on my phone, and found it to be a lot better, so I’m going with that.
The logistics of actually listening continue to be bad. The popping in the wall still remains an issue, so I start my “overnight” listening as soon as I know I’m not leaving for the night, anywhere from 8PM to 10PM the night before, and then have it continue to play ultrasonic for the 8 hours. Sometimes I do need to put in earplugs when I go to sleep, so on some nights I only get half the loops in before then. I know this isn’t ideal, but that’s how it’s going to be. As soon as it warms up enough that the boiler is turned off, I’ll drop the earplugs and consistently get the time in.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
