whome: OF3

[djl4]

I see those links ---- Really they're all the same thing Imo once you get to know about this stuff.

Character analysis = how your particular blocks show up in your body, there are different character subtypes that Reich identified. Most of us are a mix of them in some form or another.

Then you use vulnerable discussion, awareness/feeling, special breathing, eye rolling, other exercises (shoulder, neck, tongue, jaw, pelvis, kicking, screaming, punching, etc.), massage, etc. to dissolve said blocks.

The ultimate goal is to completely release these blocks, which will supposedly restore total sexual function, which in Reich's opinion, releases all neurosis, because it releases all repression. Whether that theory is absolutely spot on I don't know, but it seems to me mostly true in my experience.

you could check out Reich's writings if you were interested, or with this book, you could teach yourself. Although ultimately this is heavy stuff and you'd probably want to work with someone.

https://www.amazon.com/Reichian-Therapy-...1561840416





Not so many people seem to practice this type of therapy --- But there are many other therapies (Somatic Experiencing, EDMR, Bioenergetics) that ultimately descend from Reich's work, though different. These are somewhat more well known, and seem to be successful for many people, especially those facing the big T word (trauma)

You could also check out the book "The Body Keeps the Score" -- This is more mainstream / modern but the same idea. Bessel Van Der Kolk

[whome]

Interesting, thank you.

I’ve read The Body Keeps the Score, though it never really spoke to me like some of the other books.

Day 18

Second day off.

My super let me know that my bedroom A/C is still doing its dripping thing so I pulled it out of the wall and am trying to figure it out. What’s happening is that I’m getting into a very present space, and it’s terrifying. I’m coughing and burping and I can feel my emotions want to just shut down and collapse.

[whome]

Day 18 continued

I’m continuing to have issues where my A/C is dripping down into the apartment below me. I’m trying to figure out a reasonable way to fix it and it’s turning out to be very difficult.

I’m having straight-up existential terror attacks. The awareness of the fragility of everything around me, that it is all barely working, that I might have to throw away everything around me because I just can’t get it to work is ripping me apart.

[CatMan]

Day 18 continued

I’m continuing to have issues where my A/C is dripping down into the apartment below me. I’m trying to figure out a reasonable way to fix it and it’s turning out to be very difficult.

I’m having straight-up existential terror attacks. The awareness of the fragility of everything around me, that it is all barely working, that I might have to throw away everything around me because I just can’t get it to work is ripping me apart.

I'm sure it isn't a big deal. Let's relax.

I have one on castors with an added tank, I do have experience with both kinds. I'm sure we'll figure it out man.

Is it a window unit or one on castors? Describe the unit for me. New, used, parts missing etc.

Maybe it isn't perfectly level, or it needs a pan or container to process excess humidity into. Or, the container is full and needs to be emptied. In that case, IME most just shut off to prevent leaks, but it's still worth mentioning just in case.

[whome]

...lots of A/C questions...

I appreciate your offer of assistance; thank you, but I’ve already brought together people I know personally to help, though, so I’m good.

The point here is that there’s a limit. Within that limit I can handle things. Outside that limit, it’s pure terror flowing through my body.

When I was little, everything was terrifying. Slowly, over the years, I’ve worked on expanding the range of what I can handle. But there’s always this limit. Outside of this  limit, where things don’t have answers, the existential terror kicks in and wrecks me.

[CatMan]

I see. Sounded like you had nobody to talk to about it initially.

Well good to hear, hope it all works out then.

[Real-Me]

Not so many people seem to practice this type of therapy --- But there are many other therapies (Somatic Experiencing, EDMR, Bioenergetics) that ultimately descend from Reich's work, though different. These are somewhat more well known, and seem to be successful for many people, especially those facing the big T word (trauma)

You could also check out the book "The Body Keeps the Score" -- This is more mainstream / modern but the same idea. Bessel Van Der Kolk

EMDR is pretty weird ... effectively watching someone waving their finger left to right ( & right to left) in front of you but I found it really effective.

I also found the body keeps the score to be a brilliant book on the topic of trauma too

[whome]

Day 19

Today I’m doing two loops of ultrasonic. I just finished with one and am doing the second now. I’m getting them done early so that I can have the rest of my day clear; it’s very busy.

I’m a lot calmer now, a lot more in my head.

I’m thinking about what that was like yesterday. I was imagining one of those scenes from a movie with an old-style loony bin, because I literally could not function. It felt like there was a 30–40% chance that I’d lose contact with my ability to think, and get lost in the corrosive terror, and spend the rest of my life screaming. Even now I can feel that part of me, and I can feel moments of nausea, and it seems like that’s just waiting to re-emerge.

[whome]

Day 19 continued

I was talking to my shrink, and mentioned the terror attacks. He said that his wife is a psychopharmacologist and was recommending specific OTC lavender pills, so I went out and got some. I took one earlier, and it seems to have had some calming effect. I’m planning on taking one in the morning and one in the evening before bed.

We’ll see how this evolves.

[whome]

Day 20

Two sub loops this morning. No noticeable change in the pain when I look for it. I feel a bit calmer, and that is probably either the lavender or the cooling weather. I’m still feeling nausea, though, a lot, so that’s also a sign of what I’m looking to have abate.

[Shannon]

Day 20

Two sub loops this morning. No noticeable change in the pain when I look for it. I feel a bit calmer, and that is probably either the lavender or the cooling weather. I’m still feeling nausea, though, a lot, so that’s also a sign of what I’m looking to have abate.

The nausea is probably resulting from the fearful parts of you starting to deal with the fear. When fear is acute enough it can result in nausea.  That means progress.

[whome]

The nausea is probably resulting from the fearful parts of you starting to deal with the fear. When fear is acute enough it can result in nausea.  That means progress.

Two days ago, I had overwhelming existential terror attacks, and nausea came along with them. Yesterday, the existential terror was less, but the nausea from it was still powerful, so I started with the lavender pills.

The lavender has had a calming effect both on the existential terror as well as the nausea, so that helps in terms of me being able to function in the world, but makes it harder to judge what OF is doing. I’m arguing with myself in my head, and what I might have decided is to continue up for three loops a day, but then stay with 2-on-2-off and see what happens.

(Edit:

To be clear, I don’t disbelieve that nausea, in general, is a sign of OF working. In this case, however, where it’s clear to me that the existential terror attacks are what caused the nausea (which is understating it; it was really almost straight-up vomiting), I’m not convinced that I see OF working. The reason that I want to pause the escalation of the OF is because the lavender pills are having such a powerful effect, I want to re-evaluate my baseline before I form an opinion as to whether OF is having an effect.

)

[whome]

Day 21

First day off.

The lavender pills feel a bit calming, but I’m still feeling a bit of the terror underneath as well as a bit of the pain. The weather is also cooler for the moment, so that heat that felt like it was an attack on my psyche is gone for now.

[whome]

Day 22

Second day off.

I’m wondering if the lavender pills have stopped working. I’m still feeling intense grief as I wake up, as much as I used to before. Perhaps it would be worse if I weren’t taking them? Tomorrow I’m going to go onto the 3 loop, 2-on-2-off schedule and see how it affects things.