12-13-2020, 05:09 AM
And, following the first couple months of standard usage on OF, it's been another two months of Shannon's recommended usage (for me, specifically) without any break days. With weekends of extra loops and a scant few weekdays where I missed a loop. But, even so, every day, mostly on schedule.
As before, none of the side effects reported by others. Still haven't "become exhausted" by listening without any days off. The brief situational frustration experienced (as mentioned in the post before this one) was my closest brush with anger, and, even now, weeks later, I don't disagree with my reaction.
Dreams are still pretty mundane, but, for clarity's sake, I'll point out that:
Feeling no more free or fearless than usual, but, as mentioned in this thread's first post, I've been seizing more fleeting opportunities and applying somewhat different risk metrics to decisions since starting OF. Taking a slightly increased interest in decisions, intuition, and prospect theory.
My goal with OF isn't about 100% fearlessness, partly in light of Kahneman's (who, admittedly, despite his Nobel, may be as fallible as the rest of humanity) theorizing that new fears can easily generate out of associative memory processing. And partly because I'm not focused on polar outcomes. Most of my reasoning for continuing to run OF is that 1) FRM's specific notion of fear sounds like a hard shell wrapped around most new IML subs, so getting concentrated FRM practice under my belt might get me to the juicy center of the other subs more quickly and 2) OF might pave a clearer path for no-FRM subs too.
As far as other observations go, I've continued to make forward strides with my health that, had I continued on MHS, might not have otherwise occurred. That extra bit of perseverance has been enough for me to feel that OF isn't wasting my time.
Still, having said that, it feels like OF is mostly addressing hesitation and fear-based excuses, not long-held phobias or aversions to probable-but-not-guaranteed outcomes. I suppose that it could just be OF pointing me toward low-hanging fruit first. Even so, if OF were handed to me as a mystery sub, I doubt that I could guess its purpose from the results, and I'm not entirely certain that the few observations that I've made aren't pure confirmation bias.
Some remaining fears are just aversions to invariable consequences, the stove that's hot to me and room-temperature to others. Like a rare allergy. But there's the rub: Is it an irrational fear when no one else believes that the stove can ever be hot for anyone, or is it a logical aversion to a stove that reliably burns only me? To an outside/inexperienced observer, the two might seem the same. Does others' inexperience really make me the irrational one?
Other remaining fears are objectively irrational. More fear of the unexplained "or else" (like direct consequences of declining a forced Hobson's choice) than of the truly unknown (arbitrary consequences unconnected with obvious cause, prevention, predictable reaction, or anything else, the "what is" that I can't know until it's happened). The first results from a choice/direct influence over the outcome, while the second is independent of any choices/influence. Of course, that isn't to say that people can't convince themselves that the second is the first ("I control everything") or that the first is the second ("I control nothing").
These two camps of remaining fears (1 = unpopular consequences, 2 = an undefined Door #2 choice) have, thus far, not measurably changed.
I've respected the models' instructions for two months and Shannon's specific recommendation for another two months. As I've ignored my instincts to do so and as following my own progress bars has always outperformed the models' instructions on other subs, I'm now going to try usage that respects my own learning pace. Both official methods produced only light progress, so I don't see another usage switch as giving up on OF or on "what worked." If OF 5.75.5G (v2) sees daylight, I may jump on it, but I may also go with my instincts for usage. If that degrades the outcome, hey, that's on me, not the sub. I've tried to set a good example for four months, but, really, my sub listening isn't about proving to others that I'm disciplined; it's about learning something new for myself.
As before, none of the side effects reported by others. Still haven't "become exhausted" by listening without any days off. The brief situational frustration experienced (as mentioned in the post before this one) was my closest brush with anger, and, even now, weeks later, I don't disagree with my reaction.
Dreams are still pretty mundane, but, for clarity's sake, I'll point out that:
- My OF listening is not done during sleep.
- My sleep habits should support a parasympathetic state, so a sympathetic state (fight-or-flight) is actively being discouraged.
- Caffeine and processed sugar are nil and rare, respectively.
- I avoid high-conflict news, entertainment, or lifestyle (no interest).
- My dream self is usually more interested observer than active participant.
Feeling no more free or fearless than usual, but, as mentioned in this thread's first post, I've been seizing more fleeting opportunities and applying somewhat different risk metrics to decisions since starting OF. Taking a slightly increased interest in decisions, intuition, and prospect theory.
My goal with OF isn't about 100% fearlessness, partly in light of Kahneman's (who, admittedly, despite his Nobel, may be as fallible as the rest of humanity) theorizing that new fears can easily generate out of associative memory processing. And partly because I'm not focused on polar outcomes. Most of my reasoning for continuing to run OF is that 1) FRM's specific notion of fear sounds like a hard shell wrapped around most new IML subs, so getting concentrated FRM practice under my belt might get me to the juicy center of the other subs more quickly and 2) OF might pave a clearer path for no-FRM subs too.
As far as other observations go, I've continued to make forward strides with my health that, had I continued on MHS, might not have otherwise occurred. That extra bit of perseverance has been enough for me to feel that OF isn't wasting my time.
Still, having said that, it feels like OF is mostly addressing hesitation and fear-based excuses, not long-held phobias or aversions to probable-but-not-guaranteed outcomes. I suppose that it could just be OF pointing me toward low-hanging fruit first. Even so, if OF were handed to me as a mystery sub, I doubt that I could guess its purpose from the results, and I'm not entirely certain that the few observations that I've made aren't pure confirmation bias.
Some remaining fears are just aversions to invariable consequences, the stove that's hot to me and room-temperature to others. Like a rare allergy. But there's the rub: Is it an irrational fear when no one else believes that the stove can ever be hot for anyone, or is it a logical aversion to a stove that reliably burns only me? To an outside/inexperienced observer, the two might seem the same. Does others' inexperience really make me the irrational one?
Other remaining fears are objectively irrational. More fear of the unexplained "or else" (like direct consequences of declining a forced Hobson's choice) than of the truly unknown (arbitrary consequences unconnected with obvious cause, prevention, predictable reaction, or anything else, the "what is" that I can't know until it's happened). The first results from a choice/direct influence over the outcome, while the second is independent of any choices/influence. Of course, that isn't to say that people can't convince themselves that the second is the first ("I control everything") or that the first is the second ("I control nothing").
These two camps of remaining fears (1 = unpopular consequences, 2 = an undefined Door #2 choice) have, thus far, not measurably changed.
I've respected the models' instructions for two months and Shannon's specific recommendation for another two months. As I've ignored my instincts to do so and as following my own progress bars has always outperformed the models' instructions on other subs, I'm now going to try usage that respects my own learning pace. Both official methods produced only light progress, so I don't see another usage switch as giving up on OF or on "what worked." If OF 5.75.5G (v2) sees daylight, I may jump on it, but I may also go with my instincts for usage. If that degrades the outcome, hey, that's on me, not the sub. I've tried to set a good example for four months, but, really, my sub listening isn't about proving to others that I'm disciplined; it's about learning something new for myself.
