10-16-2020, 12:14 PM
So, per Shannon's recommendation of no breaks back on the 2nd, the only day that I haven't run OF in October was the 1st. No excess anger, fear, exhaustion, or freedom noted. As I'd mentioned in my last post, congruence was restored (afraid when fearful, relaxed when calm) after switching from MP3 to FLAC.
Since taking zero break days in the past couple of weeks hasn't been tiring and since Shannon encouraged the idea of tiring out any internal struggles, I chose to run OF for 9 loops/day during the first Saturday and Sunday of October and 12 and 11 loops/day (respectively) on the second Saturday and Sunday. No excess exhaustion from either attempt. I've continued to feel extremely busy, but, on my tiny corner of this spherical planet, busy isn't quite the same thing as tired.
Interestingly, despite past experience implying that it might not transpire without breaks, I did encounter a brief burst of automatic writing yesterday. Not only did it occur on a listening day, but it occurred while actively listening to OF itself. It was barely coherent and, consequently, not remotely useful to my conscious mind, but it still happened, and that's certainly worth noting.
I'm happy to be proven wrong, since it often means that I've learned something new, but I can't deny that intelligible conversation between me and myself tends to provide far more rewarding insights than gibberish does. Also, garbled automatic writing doesn't appear to be quite as internally fulfilling either, probably because 1) the inner me doesn't feel any more well-heard when tongue-tied than it does when the microphone's switched off and 2) the outer me's stuck feeling befuddled instead of informed. But, hey, who knows? Automatic writing during listening might eventually gain clarity with further practice.
Either way, yesterday's experience may suggest that, once my subconscious stops speaking in stressed-out nonsense (which, admittedly, may still require a break to accomplish), some worthwhile revelation(s) might not be too far behind it.
Since taking zero break days in the past couple of weeks hasn't been tiring and since Shannon encouraged the idea of tiring out any internal struggles, I chose to run OF for 9 loops/day during the first Saturday and Sunday of October and 12 and 11 loops/day (respectively) on the second Saturday and Sunday. No excess exhaustion from either attempt. I've continued to feel extremely busy, but, on my tiny corner of this spherical planet, busy isn't quite the same thing as tired.
Interestingly, despite past experience implying that it might not transpire without breaks, I did encounter a brief burst of automatic writing yesterday. Not only did it occur on a listening day, but it occurred while actively listening to OF itself. It was barely coherent and, consequently, not remotely useful to my conscious mind, but it still happened, and that's certainly worth noting.
I'm happy to be proven wrong, since it often means that I've learned something new, but I can't deny that intelligible conversation between me and myself tends to provide far more rewarding insights than gibberish does. Also, garbled automatic writing doesn't appear to be quite as internally fulfilling either, probably because 1) the inner me doesn't feel any more well-heard when tongue-tied than it does when the microphone's switched off and 2) the outer me's stuck feeling befuddled instead of informed. But, hey, who knows? Automatic writing during listening might eventually gain clarity with further practice.
Either way, yesterday's experience may suggest that, once my subconscious stops speaking in stressed-out nonsense (which, admittedly, may still require a break to accomplish), some worthwhile revelation(s) might not be too far behind it.
