mat422 alpha journal

[Spiral]

I agree. I actually thought about this last night and the world would be a better place if everyone was narcissistic. But I'm only saying that if it comes from a good place and they can let go of expectation. I guess that would lead to free love and peace.

[mat422]

So far stage 6 is on an off for me. Some days I'll feel really good and high on life and then other days I'm really down. But these down days I have to say aren't so bad. Looking back at my down days before I started alpha I can say that it took a lot to pull me out of it.

I'm also less worried about the end result of alpha. The best part is I can always run through it again. As much as I've improved there is still a lot of stuff that I feel still needs to be worked on, but it's ok because I'm learning to enjoy the journey and not the destination.

After alpha I'm going to have a little fun with BIABW 7.1, I'm curious to see what kind of results that's going to have.

[Patti]

I’ve been meaning to mention something to you for a while but kept forgetting. My neighbor, who is my youngest son’s best friend, and you are basically twins in more aspects than just looks. You remind me so much of him, it’s eerie. He the direct opposite of my son as he’s more on the quiet side and doesn’t feel the need to “just talk.” Many of the moms have asked me if he even does talk? Haha of course he does here because I pull it out of him. In middle school my son must have being going through a growth spurt because everyday he’d come home and sleep on the couch. The phone would constantly ring from his friends wanting to come over. It got to a point, I don’t think they believed me lol, they just thought he didn’t like them. Well, everyday this kid (my neighbor) would come over and sit in the family room for a few hours, watch tv and then leave, all while my son was sleeping. He didn’t need to talk, just wanted to hang out. Don’t get me wrong, he has tons of friends but he’s just more on the quieter side, like I’m thinking you may be.

Anyway, really go off track there lol, what I wanted to tell you is this. And in no way do I want to embarrass you, I just thought this would be interesting for you to know. I have no idea how you feel about your looks, but like I said, you two could be twins!!! Well, in their class of 600, he was deemed the hottest guy! So my suggestion to you is this….if you see a girl that you’d like to approach, go for it! Put your self out there, cause the chances are, it will be a positive experience!

Take care

[mat422]

Haha not embarrassing at all, thanks for that Patti. I've always been a little modest about my looks to tell the truth. I've always felt good about the way I look, but I've never really had outside validation so sometimes I guess I sell myself a little short. Even when people do compliment me I feel a little weird I guess lol. But thanks for the confidence boost, I really appreciate it.

[About]

So far stage 6 is on an off for me. Some days I'll feel really good and high on life and then other days I'm really down. But these down days I have to say aren't so bad. Looking back at my down days before I started alpha I can say that it took a lot to pull me out of it.

I'm also less worried about the end result of alpha. The best part is I can always run through it again. As much as I've improved there is still a lot of stuff that I feel still needs to be worked on, but it's ok because I'm learning to enjoy the journey and not the destination.

After alpha I'm going to have a little fun with BIABW 7.1, I'm curious to see what kind of results that's going to have.

Same deal has happened to me for stage 6. I've had on and off days. For me it's closer to the beginning where i've had those on days and in the middle I've been having some of those off days but overall, the same thing comes to mind. I also think about how i was before I started this program and i realize that i've been much better off now and the worries I've had beforehand are irrelevant. I think that's one of the key points to remember is that what used to concern you is no longer weighed that heavily (as in towards my own ego or self esteem).

[mat422]

So far stage 6 is on an off for me. Some days I'll feel really good and high on life and then other days I'm really down. But these down days I have to say aren't so bad. Looking back at my down days before I started alpha I can say that it took a lot to pull me out of it.

I'm also less worried about the end result of alpha. The best part is I can always run through it again. As much as I've improved there is still a lot of stuff that I feel still needs to be worked on, but it's ok because I'm learning to enjoy the journey and not the destination.

After alpha I'm going to have a little fun with BIABW 7.1, I'm curious to see what kind of results that's going to have.

Same deal has happened to me for stage 6. I've had on and off days. For me it's closer to the beginning where i've had those on days and in the middle I've been having some of those off days but overall, the same thing comes to mind. I also think about how i was before I started this program and i realize that i've been much better off now and the worries I've had beforehand are irrelevant. I think that's one of the key points to remember is that what used to concern you is no longer weighed that heavily (as in towards my own ego or self esteem).

Thanks for the insight. This really put into perspective how I'm feeling right now. I think for me at least my expectations were very high and I was aiming towards something which obviously is going to take a lot more time. What you said about things that used to concern you are no longer weighed that heavily is so true. I think even after finishing alpha I have to accept that there still are the occasional problems, but things have improved. It's easy to get caught up in the things that still need improvement while forgetting to acknowledge what has gotten better.