Who do you love - DMSI 3.3.2 Jandom Rusings

[Have at ye]

Aaaaaah, I love DMSI and my life and everything.

So, today, I had this little pre-Christmas party by that little blonde piece who's been very into me, but only in an LTR context as far as she made it clear to me some months ago.

Anyroad, on the way, I went to that conservatory place. Haven't met anyone of note, just stood there, drank a coffee, etc. - all the usual stuff I do whenever I attend that place on no business whatsoever; I mostly do it for fun and to meet with bros and attractive girls, lol. I noticed I was experiencing some paranoid fears (and these are my fears - a. k. a. I have no fucking idea what that "sweet little aristocrat" woman has been conning behind my back exactly, and in my mind I'm a bit afraid that she's made me out into a dangerous psychopath of some sort and that now people are going to treat me as an insane asylum escapee. It's an irrational fear, as many fears are, as I have *no* idea what she's been up to, if anything at all really ever since she got that slap on the butt telling her to *stop* doing whatever she's intending to do, lol. A lot of it is due to bad previous experiences - I had, f. in., among other things, some insecure boys accuse me there of theft and of being an ex-con behind my back, and *some morons actually believed them because I kinda look the part*, I shit you not, lol. They stopped after I found one I suspected of doing this and informed him that *shit like that is a criminal offense punishable by prison*, hehehe, and I have *many* high-end lawyer and prosecutor drinking buddies from my time in academia. Fucking sonnies.). Anyhow, the fears went away pretty swiftly, and I'll be attending that place every now and again as I've been doing for the past 8 years, and I won't allow no girl or boy to scare me off, lol.

So, more to the point, I went to that party - that LTR offeree apparently now has a boyfriend or at the very least a boyfriend prospect of some sort (which incidentally did not stop her from hitting on me subtly as she's wont to do), but - some time in, this *exquisitely attractive blond girl* enters out of the blue, and she looks like that "foxy psychotherapist" woman did all those years ago (so - my type - soft and curvy and blonde and aaaaah <3) and it turns out it's the younger sister of this guy I've known and been friends with for these past 9 years, lol, and he brought her along for no reason really (I've never met her before. I'd remember ). Long story short, we were into each other from the get go, and at one point she ended up dragging me to the bathroom to make out most enthusiastically (saying "don't hold this against me, please" ) - among other things. Anyroad, departing she said "text me, please!". I kinda don't have her number, but I'll find her, you can be sure of that, lol. Not only is she mrrr, she also *seems like an altogether sane and together little girl*, aaah. I *knew* I'd find some sooner or later.

Afterwards, one of my long-time bro-friends said, after seeing all that (people saw everything apart from us making out and almost starting to have sex at one point, lol); "this girl was acting towards you as if she'd never seen a man before in her life".

Didn't see anything indicative of the DRS, but this crowd is good people that have little to none negativity towards each other.

[Have at ye]

Back in my home town for the holidays, gonna chillax a bit. Honestly, I'm beginning to feel as if I were 19 again, only with fewer mommy issues, lol.

Noticing something definitely going on with my scent; sometimes I smell as if I were producing some pretty complex pheromone combo overtime.

Listening to some really cheesy songs and loving it. I chanced upon a song entilted "I want the world... and everything in it" and now I can't stop listening to it, hahaha. "I want the wooooooooorld... aaaand you along with it"

EDIT

Linky-link! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-H73utqUQg

[Have at ye]

For some reason, it's extremely peaceful here over the holidays, despite me crazy mum usually going bonkers over the holidays (like clockwork, lol). I like it. I have time for some internal work and to think things through a little bit. I was kinda interested in seeing whether she'd get DRSd, as she's pretty frickin' good at using "negative vibe bombardment" to make people squirm, but she hasn't been doing that at all. Maybe she tried doing so at a greater distance and it got reflected, and now she's dialed it down a notch in general (though me crazy mum may be a psychopath, she isn't stupid... like *some* other women I know, lol )

Funnily enough, each day upon listening to my DMSI loops (I listen to them when sleeping) I wake up with a song going through my head. Some are pretty obvious and very sweet, actually, but one... well, it did raise an eyebrow. I won't be linking them, as they're in Polish and the eyebrow-raising one is an angrry metalz \m/ thing with some religious connotations of the, erm, south of heaven type, but it's... interesting nonetheless.

I'm also using this time to get my physical fitness regimen up a little bit, in order not to get fat over the holidays (yes, we have potato. Lots of potato. ). I'm also doing my usual clearings with good results.

Facebook recommended that sweet little girl from Saturday as a "friend" recently, she accepted my invite, I'll be sending her a little msg tomorrow (I mean, she asked, so... ).

By the by, that ex of mine is a little salty as she learned of what occurred on Saturday, lol (she wasn't present at the get-together, but word has spread apparently ), but I actually met with her in person recently and that DRS is working. She's *pretty much stopped all attempts at trying to work me* - with the NDRS she was trying anyway, lol. I did feel like there was a bit of a "wall" between us when we saw each other in person, heh.

[Have at ye]

Hints from the DRS would indicate that my "fans" seem to be... relenting gradually. OH FUCK YES. Still a couple crazy, girl, crazy types going at it (honestly? I do admire the tenacity. Imagine this sort of pizzazz being channeled into something *constructive* and *positive*, lol), and several of the more pretentious sonnies still trying their damnedest to hinder my progress in all things, but... they're giving up. OH YEAH BABY.

Today's DMSI-related song I found especially hilarious, so I'll link it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dewHxzxkAPQ It's totally bluesy.

Messaged that sweet thing today, she appears to have enjoyed it. I'll bet we're not done yet. Honestly? This particular type of woman got DMSIed hard enough on several hours' worth of exposure, first meeting, to "go direct" and nearly "all the way", despite there being people around in close quarters? Oh boy, oh boy. Let's keep at it and see where this shall lead. Somewhere pleasant, I hope!

[Yous]

Hints from the DRS would indicate that my "fans" seem to be... relenting gradually. OH*****YES. Still a couple crazy, girl, crazy types going at it (honestly? I do admire the tenacity. Imagine this sort of pizzazz being channeled into something *constructive* and *positive*, lol), and several of the more pretentious sonnies still trying their damnedest to hinder my progress in all things, but... they're giving up. OH YEAH BABY.

Today's DMSI-related song I found especially hilarious, so I'll link it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dewHxzxkAPQ It's totally bluesy.

Messaged that sweet thing today, she appears to have enjoyed it. I'll bet we're not done yet. Honestly? This particular type of woman got DMSIed hard enough on several hours' worth of exposure, first meeting, to "go direct" and nearly "all the way", despite there being people around in close quarters? Oh boy, oh boy. Let's keep at it and see where this shall lead. Somewhere pleasant, I hope!

Hi, i don´t know if i understood well, did you expose someone to DMSI at the same time as you?
I have curiosity about this, only for knowing what happens with this energy in more than one person at a time

[Have at ye]

Nope, I don't think I ever did that.

I meant exposure to my presence (while I'm actively running DMSI), which must have definitely included her getting sniped pretty hard using the patented DMSI auric sniper. Sorry for being unclear!

[Yous]

Nope, I don't think I ever did that.

I meant exposure to my presence (while I'm actively running DMSI), which must have definitely included her getting sniped pretty hard using the patented DMSI auric sniper. Sorry for being unclear!

Thanks for the clarification

[Have at ye]

Back in the city, finished up my DMSI loops for the day, and now we're on break until Saturday.

Elected to turn up the heat up a notch, seeing as the going is good, so I'm back to the highest comfortable volume (foobar says 0dB volume adjustment). Last time I did that, I got kicked pretty hard by backlash and feary-fears, but now it appears to be most manageable. Actually experienced fear-indicative physical responses the day I returned to the volume, but I did expect that and the aim is to remove them completely, and they appear to be diminishing and I'm feeling pretty spiffy. The wonky sensations during listening feel very, very nice and pleasant, though. Started getting interesting dreams in response to that as well. Funnily enough, in one of those dreams I was slated to fight Tyson Fury for the heavyweight championship of the world, lol. Must have been because I was practicing my jab that evening.

On that front, actually, I have an amusing observation regarding the DRS. It's kinda like this saying from the sweet science, a. k. a. the gentlemanly art of being punched in the face repeatedly - "to be able to keep someone honest", it's used in regards to punching power. It implies having enough physical punching power that the opponent will be well-advised not to act recklessly on the offense. And from what I've observed, the DRS has this amusing effect that it actually does "keep people honest". You may not always like what you see, but it's like people either suddenly start cutting the bullshit or stay away, haha. And I love it.

I elected not to attend that New Year's Eve party that "G" wanted to drag me to (because a) it's costly on the potato side of things, b) a dancing partner who'd be a good match for this type of event did not pop up out of the woodwork , c) I'd rather not tempt "E" in front of her husband, lol), even though as of right now I don't really have any other plans, but that's fine. Either something will turn up or I'll just chill a bit at home, maybe go downtown to watch the fireworks or something.

Acquired two new pairs of pants, that ozonizer device to remove funky smells from my glorious apartment, as well as I intend to try a different thing for teeth-whitening - the option I tried out was kinda meh on the results front, and not really user-friendly, I'll give something else a spin that's getting good reviews in the interwebz.

While we're at it - a glorious new year to all of you!

[CatMan]

Tyson Fury is awesome!

I tell people: he's like a cruise ship dancing, it's incredible the agility.

[Have at ye]

I love the guy as well, he's an outstanding fighter and I can really relate to what he's been through. I also believe my subC used him for the dream because it perceives him as the toughest match-up it could find.

[Have at ye]

Haha, turned out "G" did not attend that shindig either, as I learned when sending her new year's wishes. Good call, then.

Anyhow, I ended up flirting heavily with that sweet little thing from that pre-Christmas party (let's start calling her "O") upon sending her some wishes. Haha, she's so cute and really wants to be naughty. I think the only thing I have to keep doing is keep re-affirming her that no, I totally do not mind that she wants to be naughty, especially towards yours truly.

Also noticing an upswing in flirtation with that lovely woman who had helped me out when I was in "crazy little aristocrat" damage control mode. She's totally fishing for compliments and wants affirmation that I like her, hahaha. I'll be seeing her soon, as we sometimes tour together. I do owe her one, so I guess there wouldn't be anything untoward if I decided to reciprocate by making her feel good.

Also, I decided to perform an alpha strike at some traumas that generate fears/anxiety regarding the sexual act itself. Got some good, albeit pretty disturbing, conclusions out of it. I'm noticing that the fear-indicative physical sensations I've been getting lately appear to be related to this. But - I also know what to do about them, fortunately; when I go about it properly, the unpleasant stiffness in certain parts of my musculature and the dark sensations that accompany it start dissolving into a light, pleasant thing which is probably self-loving/love.

Funnily enough, I'm about to re-up the DRS for the day, as I'm getting a bit of a "oh, somebody's thinking of me, lol" headache and accompanying thought of... that "foxy psychotherapist" girl? Fascinating. You know, I can get all behind that "normative masquerade" thing - especially since my favorite creepy uncle Lacan defined it as one of the main differences between the masculine and the feminine psyche formations (so, to the masculine psyche it might even appear as "social conditioning" or something ) - but there's a point when normal psyche formation *can* become pathological, love.

Also, I have a song from my new favorite cheesy band:



Those lyrics, doe.

[Have at ye]

As the result of my preemptive alpha strike, I just realized today that roughly 80-90% of the time I've had sex I've been having it in a more or less dissociative state. This would indicate quite a bit of fear. I've also on more than one occasion allowed myself to be used for sex even though I did not feel like it, but did so anyway based on a dumb presumption that if I don't wanna bone then my "man-card" shall be taken away, lol, and doing so further required me to dissociate from the act. Doing so is extremely draining and would usually result in my sex drive taking one hell of a nosedive for a prolonged time after (especially when I was with that ex of mine, as she was often stressing me out on purpose so I did not really want to have sex with her because I did not really like her whenever that would happen, lol). I do have a pretty good idea what's the cause of this, though, and am in the process of alpha-striking it out. I mean, we wouldn't want this to start acting up when I'm actually beginning to have fun, now would we?

On the DRS front, I'm noticing a bit of an upswing in pesky thoughts that would be indicative of certain people thinking of me a lot, but they come and they go, and I was half-way expecting this since I have elected to raise the volume of the DMSI. I'll also try going back to 6 loops when I can (not this week, probably, as I'm touring from Tuesday on, and together with the DRS that's quite a bit of listening time). Note: the energetic requirements of running two different shields at the same time are tremendous, so don't try this at home. I had to resort to doing quite a bit of energy replenishment (chi and jing) because I noticed beginning stages of exhaustion, especially after doing my fitness regimen. It's all good now. Just gonna have to find the time to do 15 minutes of focused re-energizing on each of these at least every other day.

Going to a birthday part-ay tomorrow, gonna see what happens. Returning to our regularly scheduled programming tonight.

[Have at ye]

Oh, also still having very interesting dreams. It's like my sub-C is working on re-signifying certain experiences and relationships from crappy experiences into happy experiences.

[Have at ye]

Whoopsie. Inadvertently fell asleep with DMSI playing on "repeat track" mode instead of normal playlist playback, lol. So I've done done 9-10 loops tonight. Feeling good, but very, very hungry, lol.