Transcendental Sith Lord's OFv2 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

I have worked since 1991 to hear someone say that.  Thank you.  Now I need to get more people saying it.

There is also a hint in your post that will be used to build FRM 5.0.  Thank you for that as well.

Ha, its funny you mention that as I was just thinking the day I posted that "I wonder when Shannon is going to find out how to build FRM 5.0. He said the models told him it would most likely be developed in January or February". Funny how that all works out. Hmm does this mean MLS might possibly have FRM 5.0? or would it still take you some time to flesh out the idea and develop it?

[CatMan]

I have worked since 1991 to hear someone say that.  Thank you.  Now I need to get more people saying it.

There is also a hint in your post that will be used to build FRM 5.0.  Thank you for that as well.

Ha, its funny you mention that as I was just thinking the day I posted that "I wonder when Shannon is going to find out how to build FRM 5.0. He said the models told him it would most likely be developed in January or February". Funny how that all works out. Hmm does this mean MLS might possibly have FRM 5.0? or would it still take you some time to flesh out the idea and develop it?

I thought the same too, bud. Great minds think alike, lol.

It'd probably be for the best if FRM etc. was upgraded before any new programs. Who knows the difference in execution that would be possible with it. Very cool development.

[ncbeareatingman]

Dude;
One of thee most amazing and inspiring testimonials I've ever read here...talk about shifting one's consciousness!! Wow!!
Thank Ya Man, from the Heart...truly appreciated and acknowledged!!
#2) Just think what a boon this(OF v2) can be for Mankind at large. Man Oh Man!! The possibilities are enormous and then some...
Like becoming wealthy without fear, having deep love in one's life ,even better like you here, opening one's heart and spirit to Love,to the deep love within One;s own self. That We are deeply loved and deeply LOVE itself already.
Game changers/Life changers/Destiny Changers( how so, one might ask? well because one's consciousness is so greatly changed,and shifted for the better,then quite naturally better choices follower,healthier choices follow that otherwise might've taken years or not at all...hence One's destiny changes right there. damn what an awesome post.

I could write a book of a response here,I wont, however again I'd like to thank you for being willing to open and share all this with us. Ive read your remarkable posting twice already Im shure theres at last another 5 times over time,here.
I committed to USLM v4 for the long run and am waiting until UMS v2 comes out later this year,but damn if its not hard to on go and start OF v2 right now.....alas.... I must keep my promise to myself and the committment there of
the benefits for all programs used long term are much better than short term of course...same Parallel for da Physical aka working out at da Gym. I've long time friend of mine,David who started out,working out at 17 ,he is now 65,almost 66 and he STILL does maintenance workouts at da Gym. same dif' to me. thanks again Ya Rock!!

[Shannon]

I have worked since 1991 to hear someone say that.  Thank you.  Now I need to get more people saying it.

There is also a hint in your post that will be used to build FRM 5.0.  Thank you for that as well.

Ha, its funny you mention that as I was just thinking the day I posted that "I wonder when Shannon is going to find out how to build FRM 5.0. He said the models told him it would most likely be developed in January or February". Funny how that all works out. Hmm does this mean MLS might possibly have FRM 5.0? or would it still take you some time to flesh out the idea and develop it?

First, allow me to clarify that the hint I mention is one of the things I will be using to turn FRM 4.9 into 5.0, not the only thing.  

Second, allow me to point out that one of the biggest issues I have had with the impact of the current cycle is that it has made making stable and accurate predictions extremely challenging compared to otherwise.  The nature of this cycle is to force change through basically disrupting everything it touches, and it very directly touches me personally in ways that have definitely disrupted my ability to focus, concentrate and for whatever other reasons, have easy access to stable predictions.  So the models saying January or February may be correct, or it may be later than that.  I happen to know based on cycles that this year is going to go from terrible disruption in January (every damned day in January, in fact) to amazing successes as a result of this cycle ending, and freeing me to once again make accurate and useful stable forecasts without having to spend forever verifying and re-verifying.  So there should be a lot accomplished this year regardless.  

I had not planned to put FRM 5.0 in MLS, but we shall see.  It is possible, but not probable.

[DarthXedonias]

@CatMan I know right?

@ncbeareatingman Glad someone got something out of my post. Thanks for your praise. I think in a matter of a few months I've come a long way.

@Shannon Well, whether its in MLS or not just glad the final component for FRM might be worked on soon.


Just an update. Results seem to be permanent at this point. The removal part in FRM seems to have accomplished its job. Its pretty obvious to me at this point that my problem before was that I might run a sub and get better only for the fear to "regrow" itself like a few weeks later. With that 5.75.5G upgrade though things seem to be permanently removed now once they are dealt with. I'm noticing I also just don't like overtly negative people anymore. I might try to encourage them or improve their mood for a while (if I've known for a bit) but if they just continually stay in that attitude I just remove myself from their presence. The negative attitude just annoys me now.

There is something else going on that I can't quite explain. Basically if a situation arises or something happens that might disrupt my plans a bit its like I don't even worry about it too much. I just see it as another obstacle to overcome. Thing is I'm noticing after this happens something else happens that counteracts that bad situation to make it even less of a disturbance (like getting outside help I wasn't expecting, etc). I actually got laid off from my driving job with that Amazon affiliate on January 22nd but I wasn't worried at all really. I had the choice to try to get on unemployment but I was resistant to it. This is a big change from the old me who wouldn't have hesitated to get on unemployment so he can stay locked up at home. Now I really, really don't like that idea and rather actually be outside making money, working and ''gasp' interacting with people.

Yesterday I applied for a job and then heard back from them immediately. Set an scheduled group zoom call which I attended today then got my job offer hours later. This job is significant as it not only pays higher than my previous job but because of what it is. Its an job at an Vaccination site (one of the major ones on the west coast). So the guy told us there is a very good chance we will be getting vaccinated after we start (hence jumping the que really). That will be helpful seeing as I will have documentation saying I'm Vaccinated which will perhaps help me get back to my job in China or even if I choose to go to Korea instead. Some countries are starting to implement a thing where if you are vaccinated you can skip their quarantine process which is a big deal seeing as the person has to usually pay for quarantine.

I do admit though as well that since the fear is practically gone I have thought about staying in the US a bit longer despite the currency crisis that is on the way. I had thought about simply staying a few more months and keeping only the require amount of expenses in my US account and have the rest of the money from my paycheck put in my Chinese account. So, when it happens I will remain relatively unaffected. Its only a thought though seeing as I can make like six figures here (especially after I get my second degree in possibly April or May) and I fear like with my fear gone the country I'm physically in doesn't matter "as much" as before. Sure, in the long term I would still move to Asia especially after I got my Masters degree and I still very much like the societies in Asia more. People are just a lot more kinder and have more manners.

The only downside if I did that would be  (1) Having my original Job in China back would be good for my Masters degree seeing as I only worked 13 hours a week which would leave me plenty of time to study and do projects, etc, and (2) If things got really, really bad in the US I would be in another country not affected it by much. I'm thinking if I stayed a bit longer it would probably until June or July possibly. I think by then I would have saved up maybe 12-20k possibly. Also for those who still think that this currency thing ain't going to happen I did hear an interesting stat which just backs up what I was saying in my currency crisis thread. Apparently at this moment of all the US dollars currently in circulation 30% were created within just the last few months. They have really been running those printing presses which generally isn't good.

Another option still for me is that I can actually (after my second degree) get a job in another English speaking country and work there for a while as a CS degree would practically guarantee me essential skilled worker status. Mainly looking at Canada and Australia at the moment. So don't know, might be seeing @CatMan or @Benjamin sometime in my future rofl.

One last thing it seems like when it comes to any of my future plans I just have this certainty now about them. That they will come to pass as easily as the sun rises in the morning. There is really not much if any doubt left in me. I just don't see the point or usefulness of having such a trait.

[DarthXedonias]

Well thought I would report on somethings.

First off I did forget to mention since before last post that I had decided to stop using the sub just to see if the results were permanent and make sure there wasn't any backsliding that would go on. I'm very happy to say that for a while now after not using the sub I have not seen one iota of of my previous self popping up. No reverting back at all which is a very good thing. Still haven't watched porn in like 2-3 weeks. I literally have no interest in it whatsoever. Eh, as far as masturbating eh that still happens but probably like once every 2-4 days. I don't even think about it often and usually whatever sexual feelings I have I tend to just enjoy "sitting" in that energy as it were instead of expelling it. One noticeable thing is that I notice is I have some type of orgasm its like I get more pleasure from it and it feels like some full mind and body type orgasm which I assume has to be due to the lack of fear and anxiety around sexuality.

I did realize something major though which I can't really believe took me so long to realize. I can't feel emotional pain and haven't felt any for like 2-3 weeks now I think. I just don't see the point in feeling emotional pain. Its not like it benefits me in anyway. It just seems non essential. Emotional pain, depression, anxiety, rage, hatred none of these things benefit me in anyway, shape, or form. So why bother with them. I think this is why I feel so powerful and generally of good mood on a daily basis. It feels like no one can hurt me as I am the one in control if they hurt me or not. They can do nothing. It seems now in one of those rare times someone might try to hurt me my emotional state just goes blank for a moment then I kind of act surprised they would even try to do that and then I start laughing internally about it as if I can't believe they are trying to seriously hurt me lol.

The reason I bring this up is because there was another incident that happened that helped clarify this. So I was back on that foreign dating site I visit, don't know probably because I wanted people to converse with some of the time and also wanted to see where it would all go. There was this one women who was pretty hot looking and had at least 2 tattoos I think. We started talking on a messaging app and she seemed ok at the beginning. I would get this feeling in the back of my mind though based on her pictures that she might be one of those "emotional broken" type ones but she seemed decent like I said. Eventually I ask if she could send a few recent pictures of herself (just regular pictures) and I would do the same. All of a sudden her attitude shifted and she got annoyed and defensive. I reiterated that I was just asking for normal recent pictures which is pretty common for people on the site to do.

I don't even get a reply, she just blocks me lol. For backstory I think some of the issue is many guys on that site ask for nudes constantly and she did tell me she had boyfriends before of which all of them had cheated on her. Regardless I was more in humorous disbelief that that actually happened. Before I probably would have been distraught and sad thinking I had done something totally wrong. I would be blaming myself honestly. I then did something I also wouldn't have done before. Went back on the site and messaged her through that basically saying "Ya know maybe you shouldn't be on this site if your just going to treat the "good guys" like all the perverts you keep meeting. I had a simple, common request then you just flew off the handle. For future reference maybe you should learn not to fly off the handle on small things. Regardless I do wish you luck in your search, goodbye".

Surprisely I got a message back somewhat apologizing but also saying some faulty beliefs like the idea that she thinks guys who ask for pictures are all perverts lol. I wrote my final message back reiterating what I said and also saying that ya know I'm glad this happened seeing as I already told you I don't want drama or complications in myself. The fact that you acted this way tells me that you would have brought those things in my life and we weren't going to be compatible at all. So, it wouldn't have worked out though I still wish you luck in your future endeavors. I left it like that then and just moved on. Funny how quickly I moved on as well as that is new and if I did think about it hours later it was just to laugh at it. I think i do the whole wishing the person who tries to hurt me thing now more for myself honestly so I don't go down the road I used to be on. It helps me make peace with the person and just forget them afterwards.

I also mention this event because it made me realize that something else @Shannon said was true. Why guys who have more self respect might like dealing with 7 and 8s with better attitudes than 9s and 10s with horrible attitudes. Ugh, I can't imagine dealing with that type of entitlement, idiocy, and overall toxicity anymore. I know before I would have been pretty beta and want to find anyway to get with such chicks but now if they bring more drama or complications I really don't give a shit. I also just value myself more and I don't want to put up with such nonsense. I realize where I'm going in life. Literally within a few months I should be making a six figure salary and once I get my masters degree sometime after September I will be making close to 160k + per year with a remote position. If things go really, really well while running UMS I might just hit the millionaire mark within an year given I will have plenty of capital for trading to spare. So honestly excuse me if I think I'm way more worth than some chick who doesn't really have any contributions to anything besides winning the genetic lottery lol.

I just find the idea that such a women who doesn't have good personality, character, or even external accomplishments thinks just because of her looks , which she had no control over to begin with, thinks she better than some guy with actual real, tangible accomplishments just totally laughable. That's why I can't understand these kind of beta guys who have very successful careers yet they keep on trying to simp for certain women who barely have any real qualities at all lol.

I don't know I just find this all funny now to be honest. I wonder why I used to be the way I was and why I acted like that but meh. That's in the past and no point in dragging it back up. It doesn't even matter anymore.

[Benjamin]

Very good. Glad you didn't put up with it, and it's definately a sign of her issues.

The first thing that pops into my head straight away is that if she won't send recent photos then she's pulling some kind of bullshit, like her photos aren't an accurate representation of her.

It's like the profiles where they only have angled photos of their face and tits. Almost without fail every time i've met up with girls like that, thinking 'nah they don't look that bad' are quite fat.

[DarthXedonias]

Very good. Glad you didn't put up with it, and it's definately a sign of her issues.

The first thing that pops into my head straight away is that if she won't send recent photos then she's pulling some kind of bullshit, like her photos aren't an accurate representation of her.

It's like the profiles where they only have angled photos of their face and tits. Almost without fail every time i've met up with girls like that, thinking 'nah they don't look that bad' are quite fat.

Yeah, was thinking that or a lot of the time people on that site ask for additional photos because the ones on profile might have been from a long time ago hence they might look quite different now. Smh, people who engage in this nonsense are so boring to me now. They create needless drama and other nonsense where there need not be any. Oh well, I don't even get upset over it anymore like I use to. I just laugh at this dumb shit now. No point in letting a moron ruin my perfectly good mood these days.

[DarthXedonias]

Will try to make this short, plenty of good stuff today.

First off I got the first Vaccination shot today on literally my first official day of work. Funny thing is I interacted with people and there was this one nurse who kept on asking me like 2 times if I wanted to take the shot (mind you she didn't ask this of anyone else in the whole place). Didn't really respond as I didn't care as much but as I was on the escalator on my way out one of the main women asked me if I wanted to get it since  they had extra thawed out Vaccines left. I said yes and got Vaccinated and will be taking the final shot in about 3 weeks. I found this whole thing interesting as it felt like good things kept on happening all day. It was tiring work at times but the sociability kept my mind off it at times.

Another thing is I got put in a certain section and I found myself talking to these 2 women all the time. Like all day I was talking while directing people which would have been unheard of before hand. No social anxiety, fear, or care about what I was saying. I just said what I honestly felt like saying and didn't even need to think about what I wanted to say really. The conversations flowed so easily that at one point I felt like with one chick something that popped in my mind out of no where that things were starting to feel strangely attractive in nature. I noticed that moment then, analyzed her, and then I just "forgot" about it as I didn't care all that much either way. I was just talking to her to talk to her with no motivation in mind. In looks she looked ok but not so much body wise. So I didn't really have any ulterior motive when speaking to her and I think this put her at ease. Some much so that she started laughing more, joking, and actually started showing me stuff on her phone.

Eh, also I just talked and talked for the most part. Not too much to the point of being annoying but enough that I got along with anyone who interacted with me despite any personality type. I actually noticed it was most of the time people coming up to me wanting to talk or ask for directions. In the case of that one nurse wanting to give me stuff (the Vaccination while not offering it to anyone else lol). Eh, its interesting how things have changed. This is my first time doing a job since my transformation as it were and its obvious from this day that I have changed quite a lot. Almost complete 180 and in how people respond to me.

Also I'm finding that work gives me more satisfaction than games, or anything else. I'm actually contemplating since the daily pay is good (the work qualifies for daily overtime in California and it pays weekly) that I might end up working 6-7 days a week if they are short staffed on each day with rolling out the Vaccines. Seems like making my life better through earning money and doing work actually gives me more satisfaction than anything. Nothing compares to accomplishing goals now.

Lastly, I want to report two different side notes that I am feeling TID from two different subs it seems. First as I mentioned in the discussion journal that 1-2 days ago I felt this significant increase in sexual energy and confidence that was off the charts. I just felt this loving feeling for the sexual energy I had and it felt quite pleasurable. For today I had this weird occurrence where its like my mind thought of how it would be on the new MLS and I felt this kind of knowledge expanding feeling in my mind. Its very hard to describe really. How I could be feeling TID from two different subs I have no idea as I know for a fact if I start one I'm going to be on that one for a good few weeks if not months before I switch to something else. Anyway, point of all this is OFv2 results are permanent and I see real tangible, outward change after the shift in my internal beliefs.

I do want to show one thing which was enlightening and I discovered this video like 2 days ago which literally explained to me what i'm feeling and what OFv2 essentially did for me. I think this video sums it up very, very well. It would also explain why as I've gone down this road more and more of some of the things Nietzsche said is making a lot of sense now. One thought to leave with that is one series phrases particularly kept on repeating in my mind when my transformation happened: "I am my own person now. I am me. I am my own man now".

 

@Shannon Can the transcendent Alpha be comparable to Nietzsche's "Ubermench" concept in someways? Are there any major differences between these two? (Assuming your familiar with the Ubermench concept. Mainly the idea of a man who creates and establishes his own values).

[Shannon]

Will try to make this short, plenty of good stuff today.

First off I got the first Vaccination shot today on literally my first official day of work. Funny thing is I interacted with people and there was this one nurse who kept on asking me like 2 times if I wanted to take the shot (mind you she didn't ask this of anyone else in the whole place). Didn't really respond as I didn't care as much but as I was on the escalator on my way out one of the main women asked me if I wanted to get it since  they had extra thawed out Vaccines left. I said yes and got Vaccinated and will be taking the final shot in about 3 weeks. I found this whole thing interesting as it felt like good things kept on happening all day. It was tiring work at times but the sociability kept my mind off it at times.

Another thing is I got put in a certain section and I found myself talking to these 2 women all the time. Like all day I was talking while directing people which would have been unheard of before hand. No social anxiety, fear, or care about what I was saying. I just said what I honestly felt like saying and didn't even need to think about what I wanted to say really. The conversations flowed so easily that at one point I felt like with one chick something that popped in my mind out of no where that things were starting to feel strangely attractive in nature. I noticed that moment then, analyzed her, and then I just "forgot" about it as I didn't care all that much either way. I was just talking to her to talk to her with no motivation in mind. In looks she looked ok but not so much body wise. So I didn't really have any ulterior motive when speaking to her and I think this put her at ease. Some much so that she started laughing more, joking, and actually started showing me stuff on her phone.

Eh, also I just talked and talked for the most part. Not too much to the point of being annoying but enough that I got along with anyone who interacted with me despite any personality type. I actually noticed it was most of the time people coming up to me wanting to talk or ask for directions. In the case of that one nurse wanting to give me stuff (the Vaccination while not offering it to anyone else lol). Eh, its interesting how things have changed. This is my first time doing a job since my transformation as it were and its obvious from this day that I have changed quite a lot. Almost complete 180 and in how people respond to me.

Also I'm finding that work gives me more satisfaction than games, or anything else. I'm actually contemplating since the daily pay is good (the work qualifies for daily overtime in California and it pays weekly) that I might end up working 6-7 days a week if they are short staffed on each day with rolling out the Vaccines. Seems like making my life better through earning money and doing work actually gives me more satisfaction than anything. Nothing compares to accomplishing goals now.

Lastly, I want to report two different side notes that I am feeling TID from two different subs it seems. First as I mentioned in the discussion journal that 1-2 days ago I felt this significant increase in sexual energy and confidence that was off the charts. I just felt this loving feeling for the sexual energy I had and it felt quite pleasurable. For today I had this weird occurrence where its like my mind thought of how it would be on the new MLS and I felt this kind of knowledge expanding feeling in my mind. Its very hard to describe really. How I could be feeling TID from two different subs I have no idea as I know for a fact if I start one I'm going to be on that one for a good few weeks if not months before I switch to something else. Anyway, point of all this is OFv2 results are permanent and I see real tangible, outward change after the shift in my internal beliefs.

I do want to show one thing which was enlightening and I discovered this video like 2 days ago which literally explained to me what i'm feeling and what OFv2 essentially did for me. I think this video sums it up very, very well. It would also explain why as I've gone down this road more and more of some of the things Nietzsche said is making a lot of sense now. One thought to leave with that is one series phrases particularly kept on repeating in my mind when my transformation happened: "I am my own person now. I am me. I am my own man now".

(I will warn that I don't know if this video breaks any rules as the main thing is the self actualization of the man as the main point of the video though it mentions some of Nietzsche's ideas which some might be familiar with. If it does I will take the video if the mods deem it so).

Technically, it breaks multiple rules.  After considering it, I think it is better to remove it.  The world seems to be going through a period of insanity right now, and it seems to me that that video would be misunderstood by and potentially negatively encouraging the type who is affected by that insanity in ways that could further the current negative social situations we see in the United States and elsewhere in the world.  I'd prefer not to have the role of helping to further that.  It also isn't appropriate for the forum to have such depictions of violence.  Please adjust your post accordingly.

@Shannon Can the transcendent Alpha be comparable to Nietzsche's "Ubermench" concept in someways? Are there any major differences between these two? (Assuming your familiar with the Ubermench concept. Mainly the idea of a man who creates and establishes his own values).

A transcendent alpha embodies a man's highest potentials in a number of different directions, not just in the classical sense.  Becoming a transcendent alpha requires change and transformation, but not necessarily "death" in any sense of the word.    I always thought of it more as becoming more alive by embracing the truth of one's full self and letting go of and growing past the fear of the inner child.  Sort of climbing out of a self created prison that is neither genuinely representative of one's actual limits, nor fitting for the potentials of the self.

My concept of a transendent alpha is many things, but primarily a man who has achieved his true natural potentials in all the ways that make him the forefront of what he is capable of becoming in the direction he chooses to go - ever becoming, but being at his current full achievement of what his potentials are.  To be more of his potential, he must grow further still, and that growth is what makes him alive.  No man ever stops having the potential to grow further, never "achieves it all" in just one lifetime.  Such a man, regardless of his age, is seeking to be better than he was yesterday even as he draws his dying breath.  He is a leader of self first and foremost, leading himself by his will and achieving his desires, and he makes his own rules and lives by them to whatever extent is most reasonable and desirable for achieving his ultimate goals.  

Obviously, living by your own rules will require adjustment according to the external circumstances you live in, governments, laws, etc. being forces that may require adjustment of the external expression of your internal recognition that all rules are arbitrary and that one must choose what rules to be limited by and to what extent in order to be the fullest possible expression of himself.  

So I guess there does seem to be some overlap, although I haven't studied Nietzsche very much, so I can only go as far as I am familiar with the concept and my understanding of what was being expressed.

[DarthXedonias]

@Shannon Sorry about the other aspects of the video I didn't even consider. Didn't even think about the violence as I guess I'm used to it in such movies and also definitely forgot that we live in a age at the moment where people can't really comprehend and misinterpret stuff at the moment which then leads to them going to extremes. Ugh, unfortunately can't even have a rational nuance, philosophical discussion without people forgetting the underlying point of the discussion not the surface stuff. Anyway, removed it as you requested. One other question would you say his notion of Self overcoming has some overlap with your concept? Explanation of self overcoming:"

"Nietzsche's account of self-overcoming has a healthy dose of struggle with oneself and with others. It entails struggle with oneself insofar as one seeks to transcend one's limitations (physical and mental) and move toward ever more sophisticated, expressive, beautiful, and potent modes of action and expression."

Update: well definitely am not the same anymore. Way more extroverted and actually get energy from being around people instead of being tired. I like to mentioned as well that as soon as I get home from work I don't even know what to do. I'm just bored mainly. I was planning on even working 7 days a week to get really good overtime pay and everything but my company but a nail in that coffin as I picked up a shift for tomorrow but then they took another shift later in the week from me. I really want to buy this one house in the Philippines that is like 80k USD but with that overtime option not available to me I think what I'm going to do is go back to stock options like I had before. Before as I mentioned several times I had gotten up to 40k. Going to try to replicate that success in my spare time while using my job to fund some of that. Hopefully I will do even better without using a financial sub for a while. If I can get to that amount or even 100k I would be set. Be able to get the house and then have some left over to stay over there for quite a while actually. Probably might have enough to last me until I get my masters degree then stay there permanently.

So going to be doing that on my off time as I don't really feel much fulfilled when I'm being unproductive these days. Funny, once I lay the past to rest I just want to move on with my life and keep moving forward to better states of being. To experience different and better realities for myself. Its also different that now I don't spend much time imagining how living a certain way is. I just assume if I want to do something it simply is going to happen. Its amazing what simply removing fear itself will do for you.

[Shannon]

@Shannon Sorry about the other aspects of the video I didn't even consider. Didn't even think about the violence as I guess I'm used to it in such movies and also definitely forgot that we live in a age at the moment where people can't really comprehend and misinterpret stuff at the moment which then leads to them going to extremes. Ugh, unfortunately can't even have a rational nuance, philosophical discussion without people forgetting the underlying point of the discussion not the surface stuff. Anyway, removed it as you requested. One other question would you say his notion of Self overcoming has some overlap with your concept? Explanation of self overcoming:"

"Nietzsche's account of self-overcoming has a healthy dose of struggle with oneself and with others. It entails struggle with oneself insofar as one seeks to transcend one's limitations (physical and mental) and move toward ever more sophisticated, expressive, beautiful, and potent modes of action and expression."

[snip]

I think Nietzsche was trying to explain something similar to what I have come to understand, but his point of view was not originating from the same direction.  To wit: I have found that indeed, one must "overcome oneself" when it comes to growth, because some parts of you are not able to understand, comprehend and cogitate the same as others are.  They have different levels of consciousness, different limitations to their consciousness, and different levels of comprehension of emotions and or logic.  Since the parts of the human awareness range from purely instinctual to purely logical, some of the conflict with others in both interpretation of shared experiences and beliefs that arise from such interpretations.  This naturally creates a situation in which some parts are trying to accomplish very different outcomes regarding the same option, which in turn creates a state of discord and unhappiness when one does not have the strength to overcome the other.  That is basically what my goal is with subliminals - to create a situation in which the conflict is removed, and the goal of the conscious is achieved. 

Struggle externally is another matter entirely.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, time to write a short update.

Results have held steady and indeed the removal portion of FRM does work for me. Whatever fears were dealt with have not regrown or come back. I have not watched porn in weeks now and have no desire to do so. Matter of fact I have women I talk to right now that are interested in me but at the same time they aren't my main concern. Its like that obsession with women just isn't there anymore which honestly helps it so that they might be attracted in the first place. Also just normal women at my work I talk to with no agenda whatsoever. I just talk to people to talk to them and that's it lol. I think I mentioned that one time where I noticed there was starting to be sexual tension with a women at work. Its like I just took notice of it , said "hmmm?" and then just went back to talking since I didn't really care lol.

Along a similar lines something happened today that needs mentioning. So I told them one women that I've been talking to for a while that I might help her out in this serious situation she is in (She's pretty good looking and doesn't mind when we meet up if we have threesomes with other women, etc). During part of the discussion she started getting bitchy as it were and started getting disrespectful. I called her out on that stuff immediately and the next words out of her mouth is "I'm sorry". I've noticed this quite often now where if someone tries to act disrespectful towards me I immediately call that shit out and they back down because they realize I don't take that shit anymore.

The funny thing is when it comes to women who try to do that now a familiar thing goes through my head where I think "Well because of this this relationship might end or I might end up blocking her but that's fine with me". Its like I make peace with the fact that I might let her go. Its not a fear thing really its more of a I'm not attached to her and willing to let her go at any moment if she doesn't treat me right. So far every time I think they have sense this that I'm willing to let them go if they keep that shit up and then they just fold because they see I'm serious. Before shit tests like this might have really annoyed me and they do only slightly now but for some reason some part of me now enjoys calling out people when they cross my boundaries. Its like I get energized doing it.

Another thing that has held strong is I am definitely a lot more extroverted and get energy from being around people. I was pretty much like this when I was very young, before the trauma and everything. Funny thing is when i think about any of that past when shit was bad I don't even really think about it or I have some vague sense of it. To be honest that didn't even feel or seem like me at all. It was a totally different person as far as I'm concerned. It feels like I have been like this forever not just a few weeks. That old person seemed like another lifetime ago.

As for other things going on I have become a workaholic in a sense. The only thing that seems to give me any purpose now is working towards my goals and being productive. Games, movies, entertainment do nothing for me really. In a similar vein due to some mess ups at the university I might not start till April 1st. I really hope it doesn't come to that but if it does I will just work on learning some programming before hand and possibly Chinese while on MLSv2. Hopefully the learned programming will enable me to finish within the a month anyway once I start so I graduate around May. The more I think of it though despite the coming currency problem I think what I will do is get a job here paying a lot for a few more months and transfer my money to my Chinese account so I'm not affected so much. It would also make it so when shit hits the fan here I can just go on vacation for a bit somewhere else that might allow Americans for a bit, could even work remotely elsewhere or in another English speaking country until stuff here settles down.

The other option is that I really, really try to get back to China even though its difficult at the moment or I head to Korea to teach English though it will be lesser pay than I can get here and has its own issues. I do admit funny enough if DMSI comes out I wouldn't mind taking a breather to have fun and run it in South Korea as lets say there's some pretty good looking South Korean women that I've seen. Granted, most women there get facial plastic surgery real young there so that is part of the reason why lots of them look good.

I did find out an answer to something which Nietzsche had pondered. He was trying to figure out a way to overcome the coming Nihilism he foresaw in the future (The one lots of people are experience now) and he had thought that the best way to live is to imagine that you lived a life that you were to repeat 1000 times and never get tired of living. I think he over thought it. If you simply love live itself without any pre-conditions then you will live a life like that. That is where I am at, I love life itself and therefore though i might not have reached my goals yet I would be happy to live this life thousands of times if need be.

@Shannon Interesting thing that you might want to know. I know in your concept yours didn't have anything to do with "death" but I did feel like in my case there was some of that. It seems like when I got to the point of just saying "Screw it, I'm going to change and if I die in the process or have to give up my life then so be it". After that it seemed like the subconscious didn't have jack shit afterwards. I mean when you get over the ultimate fear of any living thing "death"... what else can it possibly use? I called its bluff and it had nothing else after that. I faced the fear of my own mortality and came out the winner. Funny, now I want to live not because I fear death but because I love life. Since I love life without preconditions I can then live any life in any reality I guess you could say and be happy with that. Not sure if that makes any sense but that's how I like to think of it.

@Shannon btw, there has been something I've been thinking of that I've been meaning to ask you. In your opinion do things like "difficulty" really exist? I've been going it over in my head and I really wonder if it really does. Like maybe its more of a thing of the mind? Sure there are some things that are more time consuming than others but I wonder does this thing called difficulty even exist or is it something purely in our minds? I wonder to get your opinion on it as I haven't really come to a conclusion myself. I guess a bunch of fear must be gone from me if I'm even questioning something like difficulty.

[ncbeareatingman]

Dude!!?? YOU are da Man!! This is da real shit,right here. wow!! all I wanna say right now and later is..... THANK YOU!!! Wow.

PS: When did you start OFv2? and how long on E4 were you before starting OFv2? Thanks a Million,Man.