Transcendental Sith Lord's OF Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Oh boy where to begin with this. Lots and lots of changes and I have to think of most of them since I haven't felt the need to post any of this. I'm only doing so now because (1) I have plenty of time to do so, (2) It might help out some people by reading this and possibly give some hope to those still resisting, and (3) It might not be best to get results then just disappear like some forum members have done in the past. I do admit I was very resistant to this due to this idea I have now that I rather not focus on past victories when there are still more victories to come. 

- Fear is pretty much completely destroyed and even times when I would "almost" feel that emotion it only takes me a second to say "nah" and dismissed whatever I might have tried to be fearful of. 

- I would say before that my general sense of well being before the breakthru was probably fluctuating between a 1 and a 4 based on how bad the PTSD might be that day. Now, I would say I fluctuate between an 8 and a 10. I reach a 10 at least once a day as it is, a kind of high on life type feeling. Other times its just a relaxed calm happiness and confidence. A very grounded feeling.

- I don't give a crap about calling people on their BS to their faces. I've actually already done this to several women automatically with little thought. For some reason I find it now "fun" to do this to people and see their reactions. I also don't mind blocking them when it gets stupid and just moving on to something else with my time. My time is more valuable than dealing with idiots. 

- Funny enough I actually enjoy texting people, etc a lot more or going outside. When I was very, very young I was actually quite outgoing to a degree and talkative. Only reason that changed was because of past situations which caused me to slowly withdraw emotionally and personally from engaging people. 

- A somewhat minor thing but shows a big shift in how I do things. I've been playing the Hitman 1 and 2 series the last couple of weeks. At the beginning I would look up how to efficiently do certain challenges and story quests for various stages. Now I don't even look them up anymore and just try to figure them out which can take quite a while and kind of have this huge resistance to looking up how to do them. This actually touched on a huge fear of mines: Fear of making mistakes. I think this fear kept me from trying lots of things in the first place unless I had detailed instructions or something to guide me so I wouldn't make mistakes. If I could or didn't feel confidant enough about the info I was given (or it was a field where it was impossible to move throughout without making mistakes) I would probably just not even try whatever it was. Essentially failing before the race even started. Now I don't give a crap if I make a lot of mistakes along the way and i have a persistence now to keep on trying until I get it. I don't want some easy way handed to me. 

- I deserve to live a life of luxury and deserve to sleep with hot women if I want to. More than anything I feel like I am destined for such a lifestyle. I "know" therefore that the new DMSI and UMS will work when they come out. 

Hmm now for me to touch on some things that have changed regarding my perception. Something I have found now (hopefully Shannon can offer some insight) is I have these moments where I think I access the part of my subconscious that perceives time differently. As in I will get these flashes (or if I'm concentrating on an aspect of the future) its like for a second or a few I will be fully immersed in this "future". As in it feels totally real as if I'm living it at that moment. I can only guess this is: (1) Me accessing a certain future through a part of my subconscious that perceives time radically differently from my own, (2) This is a "possible" future, or (3) I'm just getting very good at active manifestation. I have actually taken to meditating at times just to bring about these moments. Know this is going sound weird to some people (not that I give a crap really) but thought I should hopefully get some ideas on what this is. If its a part of my subconscious I'm accessing perhaps I became unafraid of accessing that part of myself. 

Another thing to mention is I feel like I'm ice cold to a degree. As in I feel positive emotions like I alluded to before but when people try to manipulate me like trying to present something so I feel pity for them so I try to help them out I feel none for them even if the situation is real. Probably because I'm able to sense they are using this real situation to manipulate me and despite how sad the situation might be I don't give a crap. Hmmm its like people can't manipulate me emotionally anymore nor do I care if I call them out on such subtle manipulation. I will tell them straight to their face and not "fear" if I offend them either (not that I'm saying it in some angry sort of way). 

So, I think that's it for now. Might write more later.

[Yous]

Hi. When did you start listening the program?

[Benjamin]

Awesome!

[ncbeareatingman]

Oh boy where to begin with this. Lots and lots of changes and I have to think of most of them since I haven't felt the need to post any of this. I'm only doing so now because (1) I have plenty of time to do so, (2) It might help out some people by reading this and possibly give some hope to those still resisting, and (3) It might not be best to get results then just disappear like some forum members have done in the past. I do admit I was very resistant to this due to this idea I have now that I rather not focus on past victories when there are still more victories to come. 

- Fear is pretty much completely destroyed and even times when I would "almost" feel that emotion it only takes me a second to say "nah" and dismissed whatever I might have tried to be fearful of. 

- I would say before that my general sense of well being before the breakthru was probably fluctuating between a 1 and a 4 based on how bad the PTSD might be that day. Now, I would say I fluctuate between an 8 and a 10. I reach a 10 at least once a day as it is, a kind of high on life type feeling. Other times its just a relaxed calm happiness and confidence. A very grounded feeling.

- I don't give a crap about calling people on their BS to their faces. I've actually already done this to several women automatically with little thought. For some reason I find it now "fun" to do this to people and see their reactions. I also don't mind blocking them when it gets stupid and just moving on to something else with my time. My time is more valuable than dealing with idiots. 

- Funny enough I actually enjoy texting people, etc a lot more or going outside. When I was very, very young I was actually quite outgoing to a degree and talkative. Only reason that changed was because of past situations which caused me to slowly withdraw emotionally and personally from engaging people. 

- A somewhat minor thing but shows a big shift in how I do things. I've been playing the Hitman 1 and 2 series the last couple of weeks. At the beginning I would look up how to efficiently do certain challenges and story quests for various stages. Now I don't even look them up anymore and just try to figure them out which can take quite a while and kind of have this huge resistance to looking up how to do them. This actually touched on a huge fear of mines: Fear of making mistakes. I think this fear kept me from trying lots of things in the first place unless I had detailed instructions or something to guide me so I wouldn't make mistakes. If I could or didn't feel confidant enough about the info I was given (or it was a field where it was impossible to move throughout without making mistakes) I would probably just not even try whatever it was. Essentially failing before the race even started. Now I don't give a crap if I make a lot of mistakes along the way and i have a persistence now to keep on trying until I get it. I don't want some easy way handed to me. 

- I deserve to live a life of luxury and deserve to sleep with hot women if I want to. More than anything I feel like I am destined for such a lifestyle. I "know" therefore that the new DMSI and UMS will work when they come out. 

Hmm now for me to touch on some things that have changed regarding my perception. Something I have found now (hopefully Shannon can offer some insight) is I have these moments where I think I access the part of my subconscious that perceives time differently. As in I will get these flashes (or if I'm concentrating on an aspect of the future) its like for a second or a few I will be fully immersed in this "future". As in it feels totally real as if I'm living it at that moment. I can only guess this is: (1) Me accessing a certain future through a part of my subconscious that perceives time radically differently from my own, (2) This is a "possible" future, or (3) I'm just getting very good at active manifestation. I have actually taken to meditating at times just to bring about these moments. Know this is going sound weird to some people (not that I give a crap really) but thought I should hopefully get some ideas on what this is. If its a part of my subconscious I'm accessing perhaps I became unafraid of accessing that part of myself. 

Another thing to mention is I feel like I'm ice cold to a degree. As in I feel positive emotions like I alluded to before but when people try to manipulate me like trying to present something so I feel pity for them so I try to help them out I feel none for them even if the situation is real. Probably because I'm able to sense they are using this real situation to manipulate me and despite how sad the situation might be I don't give a crap. Hmmm its like people can't manipulate me emotionally anymore nor do I care if I call them out on such subtle manipulation. I will tell them straight to their face and not "fear" if I offend them either (not that I'm saying it in some angry sort of way). 

So, I think that's it for now. Might write more later.

 Dayuumm man tht superior. wow. what progress. no wonder you did feel like posting much lately. you were and are too busy LIVING it and experiencing it for such. glad ja did though. more power to ya in the coming weeks and months. I could see using OF for 18 months straight.....I've been on it since July 3rd or there abouts, when UMS2 finally comes out,I'll switch over,fortunately it will have FRM4.9 in it or 4.9.0 or 5.0 by then,either way the journey continues. Gawd are we some Luck Mfker's!! Ha! I swear we are soo fortunate. No therapist I know can give  us what this good sh^t does.... people could spend years 'on a couch' so to speak.....decades even...therapy is good and I recommend  damn good one,s but this things takes things to a whole new level.
 again more power to ya.... 
May the force continue to  Be with You. I still have a T-shirt that Ive never seen anywhere else( Ive looked coz I'd like to getta new version of it) that says " Let the Foreskin Be with YOU"  Ha!

 PPS: I Know Tshirt makers online I could request a custome design,ya Im there already,so.)

[DarthXedonias]

Hi. When did you start listening the program?

Eh, I started it around the time the same time it came out though I do remember taking a short break but not too long. So only a small interruption I believe. 

 Dayuumm man tht superior. wow. what progress. no wonder you did feel like posting much lately. you were and are too busy LIVING it and experiencing it for such. glad ja did though. more power to ya in the coming weeks and months. I could see using OF for 18 months straight.....I've been on it since July 3rd or there abouts, when UMS2 finally comes out,I'll switch over,fortunately it will have FRM4.9 in it or 4.9.0 or 5.0 by then,either way the journey continues. Gawd are we some Luck Mfker's!! Ha! I swear we are soo fortunate. No therapist I know can give  us what this good sh^t does.... people could spend years 'on a couch' so to speak.....decades even...therapy is good and I recommend  damn good one,s but this things takes things to a whole new level.

 again more power to ya.... 

Thanks, I feel like I've finally made it where pretty much most of the garbage is cleared through. Reading you post did slightly remind me of 2 things I forgot to mention which i knew I was probably going to forget something. First off I think i got over whole "fear of death (Change)" which was the crux of a lot of problems with execution for a lot of people. I think in some way it basically got rid of this "neediness" towards survival. Sounds weird but its like if I die tomorrow I'm perfectly fine with that. Do I want to die? Of course not but I don't "need" to survive either. What will happen will happen and I will just do what I need to do in order to fullfill my goals. If Some freak accident happens where I die early before I do that then so be it. I'm able to look to something beyond death and survival. It almost reminds me of something Griffith said in Berserk: 

"There are those that see only life and death. They are already dead for they have no dream to carry them forward". 

Secondly, Doubt has nothing to do with being able to change your mind. There was this "fear" that if I didn't keep doubting myself I would get arrogant and not be able to change my mind when I was confronted with facts. That of course is a bold face lie. There are people who are self confidant about the path they walk but when confronted with new facts are able to change their minds and walk a new path when need be. You don't need to continually doubt your own beliefs, etc in order to change your mind. That is a complete fallacy. It is interesting how on first glance some of the things the subconscious believes "might" sound reasonable but upon further investigation it isn't. 

I think those are the 2 important things I forgot to mention. 

@Benjamin Thanks for the support!

[Shannon]

Hmm now for me to touch on some things that have changed regarding my perception. Something I have found now (hopefully Shannon can offer some insight) is I have these moments where I think I access the part of my subconscious that perceives time differently. As in I will get these flashes (or if I'm concentrating on an aspect of the future) its like for a second or a few I will be fully immersed in this "future". As in it feels totally real as if I'm living it at that moment. I can only guess this is: (1) Me accessing a certain future through a part of my subconscious that perceives time radically differently from my own, (2) This is a "possible" future, or (3) I'm just getting very good at active manifestation. I have actually taken to meditating at times just to bring about these moments. Know this is going sound weird to some people (not that I give a crap really) but thought I should hopefully get some ideas on what this is. If its a part of my subconscious I'm accessing perhaps I became unafraid of accessing that part of myself.

I would say it could be any of those three, but it is much less likely to be 3 than 2, and it is less likely to be 2 than 1.

Another thing to mention is I feel like I'm ice cold to a degree. As in I feel positive emotions like I alluded to before but when people try to manipulate me like trying to present something so I feel pity for them so I try to help them out I feel none for them even if the situation is real. Probably because I'm able to sense they are using this real situation to manipulate me and despite how sad the situation might be I don't give a crap. Hmmm its like people can't manipulate me emotionally anymore nor do I care if I call them out on such subtle manipulation. I will tell them straight to their face and not "fear" if I offend them either (not that I'm saying it in some angry sort of way).

Pretty effective way to stop people from manipulating or taking advantage of you, I would say.

[Shannon]

I am impressed. And I have long since believed...

FEAR IS A LIARRRRR!

[DarthXedonias]

I am impressed.  And I have long since believed...

FEAR IS A LIARRRRR!

Thanks for the comments. Thanks for making these subs Shannon. As for those who are still struggling I would say trust Shannon on this it is fear that is holding you back. Sure there could be other things that add on top of that (guilt and shame) but fear is the main progenitor of all the shit in your life. I can say this as someone who formerly (I hate saying that for reasons that I will mention later) had PTSD which is literally based in fear that the havoc that one thing plays on ones life is horrible and you don't even know that you are in its grip at times because it seems so "reasonable". 

Btw @Shannon There was one other thing I wanted to mention to you as a suggestion. Don't know if you already implemented this in some way and if you did it would explain some stuff. There is one specific event that I think was the catalyst for this metamorphosis but I'm not sure if it was the naturalizer, something in FRM, or perhaps it was something that my subconscious came up with in order to achieve the goals of the program at the behest of the program of course. I do need to ask something then i think it will segway into what I'm getting at. Ok I think you have established that there are lots of possible futures (if I'm understanding that part of your work to this point). Since there are lots of possible futures that would mean there are lots of different pasts that simply weren't manifested correct? You have made it clear with good reasons that you would never "manipulate" the past because that would cause obvious things like the butterfly effect. My question is what if you didn't actually manipulate the future but did something else? Is it possible for the subconscious to say find and concentrate on the past that would have led to full realization of the goals of the program and have current behaviors, beliefs, etc be based on that past? This way your not actually manipulating the past your simply having current behaviors, beliefs, be based on that one. Such a person would obviously still know what the actual manifested past was but choosing to "act" on the one that best serves the purposes of the program. Obviously this would have to be investigated to see if it would be safe to do in any possible way but thought I would suggest it. 

I brought this up because this is sort of what happened one night I was listening to the sub. It was like I came up with this idea and focused on that kind of possible past that would have enabled full realization of the goals the of the program and basing my behavior, etc on them. I don't know if perhaps this was a particular case due to myself and my quite traumatized past so my subconscious realized this was the best way forward to achieve the goals of the program. Either way focusing on that seemed to have worked and this whole metamorphosis began because of it. Either way thought I would shed light on this. Who knows maybe you could have it work for FRM in a way by having the subconscious focus in on a past that lacks the fears that are holding the program back?


Now I think its time for some actual updates. Essentially I think I have found a nice baseline for my sense of well being at 7 though I can seem to move that sense of well being up at will if I feel like it. Can make myself more happy on command it would seem. I'm still getting those weird sort of reality immersion bubbles I guess. I will start thinking about my future plans and then my mind will zero in on a certain aspect of the future and its like I'm fully immersed in it for a second or a few. During that time it feels so real. I did realize as well the only time I really feel fear is when I'm asleep or half asleep. Something about being conscience makes it so the fear never fully manifests in my mind. Like something is blocking it from manifesting. 

This does bring me to something quite important a dream and then for the first time in my life I actually hallucinated. I decided to take a nap one late afternoon. Had a dream wearing I was moving towards my ceiling and I think i noticed a spider on it hanging from a single web. I kept on getting closer even though as I got closer to it the fear started to rise as I noticed more details. Its was extremely ugly but I got closer anyway because a certain allure and curiosity then it turned around the bit my neck. I woke up fear pulsing, felt a pain in my throat, and felt like I had a breathe caught in my throat. As i quickly rose up to a sitting position from the shock my eyes flew to the sealing as I rose. I saw a spider there (while I was awake) scurry on the ceiling towards the directions of the cur-tents only for it to literally phase out of existence , before my very eyes, before it reached the cur-tents. 

Lucky for me I realized something else after the fear was largely stamped out. I am able to quickly ascertain the meaning of the dreams I have without looking it up or doing anything of the sort. Like I'm not "afraid" of knowing the meaning or purpose. This one was quite relevant. The spider was the "truth". The truth can be ugly, frightening, and hard to look at but it needs to be paid attention to regardless. The fact that I wouldn't look away and kept getting close to it proves of my relationship with the truth in the past of not looking away from it or ignoring it when its plainly before me. It reminded me of something of my past with it. Of how in the past I have belong to several different groups, etc all talking about how they are for the truth but I always fell out of such groups because I found out their commitment to it was only superficial. They only wanted comfortable amounts of truth and refused to see it when it makes them uncomfortable. 

The biting was it injecting me with truth and though it was painful and scary it was needed. Even the whole seeing the spider after waking up and then it disappearing had a meaning. Truth and reality aren't exactly the same thing. Using my most recent "past" as an example the PTSD reality of course on every aspect "felt" real and was real for that reality but in the end was it true? No it wasn't because the fear behind it was nothing more than a lie. So it felt real but the assumptions it was based on weren't true. 

Now here is the very, very interesting part which is related to the question I posed Shannon earlier. I got on reddit yesterday (don't go on there often) and noticed I had a message. Turns out it was from a friend from a long, long time ago who was trying to find me. Here's the kicker the reason he was trying to find me was because one night recently he had a very intense and interesting dream about me and felt like reconnecting. Turns out I checked the date on that message. He had the dream the very same night I had that break thru I mentioned above at the beginning of this post. I think we can all agree that isn't a coincidence correct? Anyway, that's about all I have for now. Really long this time but I wanted to get this all down as it all seemed very prevalent. Questions and comments are always welcomed.

[Shannon]

In answer to your question, which I will copy here for my reference and that of others who read this...

Btw @Shannon There was one other thing I wanted to mention to you as a suggestion. Don't know if you already implemented this in some way and if you did it would explain some stuff. There is one specific event that I think was the catalyst for this metamorphosis but I'm not sure if it was the naturalizer, something in FRM, or perhaps it was something that my subconscious came up with in order to achieve the goals of the program at the behest of the program of course. I do need to ask something then i think it will segway into what I'm getting at. Ok I think you have established that there are lots of possible futures (if I'm understanding that part of your work to this point). Since there are lots of possible futures that would mean there are lots of different pasts that simply weren't manifested correct? You have made it clear with good reasons that you would never "manipulate" the past because that would cause obvious things like the butterfly effect. My question is what if you didn't actually manipulate the future but did something else? Is it possible for the subconscious to say find and concentrate on the past that would have led to full realization of the goals of the program and have current behaviors, beliefs, etc be based on that past? This way your not actually manipulating the past your simply having current behaviors, beliefs, be based on that one. Such a person would obviously still know what the actual manifested past was but choosing to "act" on the one that best serves the purposes of the program. Obviously this would have to be investigated to see if it would be safe to do in any possible way but thought I would suggest it.

I brought this up because this is sort of what happened one night I was listening to the sub. It was like I came up with this idea and focused on that kind of possible past that would have enabled full realization of the goals the of the program and basing my behavior, etc on them. I don't know if perhaps this was a particular case due to myself and my quite traumatized past so my subconscious realized this was the best way forward to achieve the goals of the program. Either way focusing on that seemed to have worked and this whole metamorphosis began because of it. Either way thought I would shed light on this. Who knows maybe you could have it work for FRM in a way by having the subconscious focus in on a past that lacks the fears that are holding the program back?

The first thing I have to point out is that your frame of reference in this question assumes that "past, present and future" actually exist.  They do not.  They are all "now", but your awareness may or may not be focused through them.  This concept is very difficult to explain and grasp when you are so used to a reference defined as "past, present, future".  Literally speaking, the past is what you chose to experience, which your nervous system is not capable of dealing with all at once, so you remember and experience it as "the past", and you don't remember "the future" not because it "hasn't happened yet" but because it hasn't received the right focus to collapse it from superposition; thus, all possible futures are "remembered" and that overwhelms the parts of your awareness limited by their focus through your brain (nervous system), so you "don't remember" them.  

That's not even entirely accurate, it's more complex and in depth than that, but for the time being, that's the best I can do to explain it without writing a novel.  Hopefully it suffices.

Now the subliminal does not alter your past.  However, if you conclude at some level that altering your past is the only way to achieve the goal, or the best way, then there is nothing stopping you from doing so as its chosen method of achieving the program's goals.

[DarthXedonias]

The first thing I have to point out is that your frame of reference in this question assumes that "past, present and future" actually exist.  They do not.  They are all "now", but your awareness may or may not be focused through them.  This concept is very difficult to explain and grasp when you are so used to a reference defined as "past, present, future".  Literally speaking, the past is what you chose to experience, which your nervous system is not capable of dealing with all at once, so you remember and experience it as "the past", and you don't remember "the future" not because it "hasn't happened yet" but because it hasn't received the right focus to collapse it from superposition; thus, all possible futures are "remembered" and that overwhelms the parts of your awareness limited by their focus through your brain (nervous system), so you "don't remember" them.  

That's not even entirely accurate, it's more complex and in depth than that, but for the time being, that's the best I can do to explain it without writing a novel.  Hopefully it suffices.

Now the subliminal does not alter your past.  However, if you conclude at some level that altering your past is the only way to achieve the goal, or the best way, then there is nothing stopping you from doing so as its chosen method of achieving the program's goals.

Actually that post you made was quite informative and answered quite a few things I've been pondering the last few days. Does this mean essentially that we "created" Past, present, and future because : (1) as a kind of safety for us physically (nervous system as you mentioned can't handle all past, present, and futures at the same time), and (2) so the "conscious" mind can actually make sense of things? This kind of reminds me also of something touching on this concept in the second Matrix movie. The oracle had said: 

"You have already made the choice. Your just here to understand why you have made the choice". 

Wouldn't the whole no past, present or future thing also kind of lead to a type of determinism? As in you already know what is going to happen and already decided on how your going to react to those situations. So you still have free will but you kind of already made your choices I guess since the future isn't real. Hopefully it doesn't take too much out of your time to answer these as I feel like these are very important questions. 

Updates: Things still going very much well. I think I am settling down to my new normal which I would feel my well being is still at a 7 or so but able to raise it on command if I want to. I am noticing some external differences as well. Way i react around people as if I don't care about their validation and in reaction to that people react with giving validation. Also had 2 women contact me on old dating profiles (have even more on my foreign profiles). Only thing is I really don't care. I really feel like neediness is based on fear because since all this has happened I have like zero neediness. Would having sex be nice I guess? Sure but I can be just as happy if it didn't happen either. My happiness isn't determined on whether I have lots of sex or not. Its because of this change and several others I'm pretty much fully confidant next DMSI will be work for me. Most of the issues that needed to be dealt with have been dealt with. Its funny now though. In the long term i'm more interested in running UMS than DMSI. DMSI I'm only going to be running to see how it works for me this time around and for a pleasant distraction. Other than that women aren't really high on my radar anymore. 

I'm more interested in stuff that is going to be for my long term benefit anyway. Also, "when" I get very wealthy I can have my pick of women anyway. So it really doesn't matter all that much. In other areas idk I feel like I have pretty much normalized the attributes from the sub to a degree. I do feel like I'm getting some subconscious bordem now but I will continue with this at least until the new DMSI comes out that's for sure. 

On a very important note though I think I finally realize something Shannon said before. Even though I think he said it in the context of going through "cycles" so I don't know if it can be applied to large portions of a person's life. Its funny only after I got cured of the PTSD and depression do I realize that I needed to go through experiencing that "reality". As I only came to certain conclusions and truths in that painful experience. I realized that had I just had a good upbringing and normal life at the beginning I would have just been another normie as it were. I realize that now. I also realize I won't be going back to that reality because I learned the lessons I needed to learn and I can learn nothing more from experiencing that. I have new lessons to learn and my goal is clear now on what I need to achieve in this life. Its quite interesting what a clear vision unimpeded by fear can do for you.

[Shannon]

The first thing I have to point out is that your frame of reference in this question assumes that "past, present and future" actually exist.  They do not.  They are all "now", but your awareness may or may not be focused through them.  This concept is very difficult to explain and grasp when you are so used to a reference defined as "past, present, future".  Literally speaking, the past is what you chose to experience, which your nervous system is not capable of dealing with all at once, so you remember and experience it as "the past", and you don't remember "the future" not because it "hasn't happened yet" but because it hasn't received the right focus to collapse it from superposition; thus, all possible futures are "remembered" and that overwhelms the parts of your awareness limited by their focus through your brain (nervous system), so you "don't remember" them.  

That's not even entirely accurate, it's more complex and in depth than that, but for the time being, that's the best I can do to explain it without writing a novel.  Hopefully it suffices.

Now the subliminal does not alter your past.  However, if you conclude at some level that altering your past is the only way to achieve the goal, or the best way, then there is nothing stopping you from doing so as its chosen method of achieving the program's goals.

Actually that post you made was quite informative and answered quite a few things I've been pondering the last few days. Does this mean essentially that we "created" Past, present, and future because : (1) as a kind of safety for us physically (nervous system as you mentioned can't handle all past, present, and futures at the same time), and (2) so the "conscious" mind can actually make sense of things? This kind of reminds me also of something touching on this concept in the second Matrix movie. The oracle had said: 

"You have already made the choice. Your just here to understand why you have made the choice". 

Wouldn't the whole no past, present or future thing also kind of lead to a type of determinism? As in you already know what is going to happen and already decided on how your going to react to those situations. So you still have free will but you kind of already made your choices I guess since the future isn't real. Hopefully it doesn't take too much out of your time to answer these as I feel like these are very important questions.

"The Matrix" is a lot closer to reality than many would guess, but your interpretation does not match my understanding.  The "eternal now" means that at every point you have made a different choice, and that point exists in some reality.  It is, has happened, will happen, whatever.  All possibilities ARE.  It is not taking away free will, however, as you must make the choice of which of these existant "points" you choose to experience within your current experience of reality.  There is more, and it is very, very difficult to explain.  I am afraid that explaining the rest is currently beyond me.  I am not yet finished coming to understand all of this myself.  

It's helpful to consider how a magnetic disc stores data in such a manner that it is "random access", meaning that any point on the disc can link to and thus lead to any other point on the disc for data access.  Now if you consider that the limitations of your "conscious" awareness require an experience of "time" which only flows forward, then you can get a rough idea how it works: from any "point of now" you can access and experience any "subsequent" point of now as required within the limitations the conscious awareness can comprehend time-wise.  The most likely thing you will do is what you are most familiar with and therefore comfortable with and habituated to, but you can do anything that directly connects to your current "point of now", and you can use a series of these connections to experience literally anything if you do the right things.  Elon Musk revolutionizing the rocket industry, is a pretty good example.  

Updates: Things still going very much well. I think I am settling down to my new normal which I would feel my well being is still at a 7 or so but able to raise it on command if I want to. I am noticing some external differences as well. Way i react around people as if I don't care about their validation and in reaction to that people react with giving validation. Also had 2 women contact me on old dating profiles (have even more on my foreign profiles). Only thing is I really don't care. I really feel like neediness is based on fear because since all this has happened I have like zero neediness. Would having sex be nice I guess? Sure but I can be just as happy if it didn't happen either. My happiness isn't determined on whether I have lots of sex or not. Its because of this change and several others I'm pretty much fully confidant next DMSI will be work for me. Most of the issues that needed to be dealt with have been dealt with. Its funny now though. In the long term i'm more interested in running UMS than DMSI. DMSI I'm only going to be running to see how it works for me this time around and for a pleasant distraction. Other than that women aren't really high on my radar anymore. 

I'm more interested in stuff that is going to be for my long term benefit anyway. Also, "when" I get very wealthy I can have my pick of women anyway. So it really doesn't matter all that much. In other areas idk I feel like I have pretty much normalized the attributes from the sub to a degree. I do feel like I'm getting some subconscious bordem now but I will continue with this at least until the new DMSI comes out that's for sure. 

On a very important note though I think I finally realize something Shannon said before. Even though I think he said it in the context of going through "cycles" so I don't know if it can be applied to large portions of a person's life. Its funny only after I got cured of the PTSD and depression do I realize that I needed to go through experiencing that "reality". As I only came to certain conclusions and truths in that painful experience. I realized that had I just had a good upbringing and normal life at the beginning I would have just been another normie as it were. I realize that now. I also realize I won't be going back to that reality because I learned the lessons I needed to learn and I can learn nothing more from experiencing that. I have new lessons to learn and my goal is clear now on what I need to achieve in this life. Its quite interesting what a clear vision unimpeded by fear can do for you.

The cycles I referred to range in length from hours and days to hundreds, thousands and tens of thousands of years, depending on which specific cycle and which combinations of such cycles.  For example, the three cycles currently resulting in the huge upheaval in our lives happens when those three cycles come together at a specific point of amplitude, and that happens once every (I think I remember this correctly) ~540 years.  IIRC the last time this happened resulted in "the dancing plague".

But I am glad to see you understanding these things you have learned; that is impressive growth indeed, my friend.

Out of curiosity, you say you got "cured of PTSD and depression".  How did that happen?  I'm not clear on that?

[DarthXedonias]

Out of curiosity, you say you got "cured of PTSD and depression".  How did that happen?  I'm not clear on that?

Oh it happened with that past changing event that I told you about. Thing is I don't know how to fully explain it as much. To be honest it doesn't even feel like past manipulation or anything. I can remember when I was concentrating on it that it felt more like I was pulling a different "me" from a past out of lots of different versions that felt more in line with the sub and would realize the goals of the program best. This is also why I said I hate using the word "formerly" with in regards to PTSD and depression because quite frankly to use your words when talking about the naturalizer "It feels as if I have always been this way". Granted, after your explanation makes me realize that this is still me just a different version with a totally different mentality which feels emotionally disconnected from the previous version if that makes sense. 

Also my memory its like I don't even try to remember certain things from that past, something tries to block me from remembering (similar to an event I had with E3 all those years ago), or I can't even remember certain things at all. Oh believe me if I met someone from my past I would remember them but it would probably "feel" like I have no emotional connection to them or certain memories. Almost as if those things happened to "someone else". 

@ShannonI would assume based on your explanation before that it is "theoretically" possible to pull a different version of you into the present correct? Because there is obviously a different version of "you" that made a totally different set of choices and you can choose to experience that different version in the present if I am understanding this correctly? If true I guess this means there is a safe way to change the past that doesn't devolve into some butterfly effect scenario. 

One thing I don't understand though is why did my old, old friend from the past have a dream about me when I did this and then felt compelled to reach out and find me. Maybe be I was back on his wave length to a degree because I have felt recently that even when talking to the same women I was somewhat interested in before that now I barely have any interest and don't feel as connected to them. Funny enough I had this thought go through my head several times that they "weren't good enough for me". Which I have never done before in a "certain" past.

[Shannon]

Out of curiosity, you say you got "cured of PTSD and depression".  How did that happen?  I'm not clear on that?

Oh it happened with that past changing event that I told you about. Thing is I don't know how to fully explain it as much. To be honest it doesn't even feel like past manipulation or anything. I can remember when I was concentrating on it that it felt more like I was pulling a different "me" from a past out of lots of different versions that felt more in line with the sub and would realize the goals of the program best. This is also why I said I hate using the word "formerly" with in regards to PTSD and depression because quite frankly to use your words when talking about the naturalizer "It feels as if I have always been this way". Granted, after your explanation makes me realize that this is still me just a different version with a totally different mentality which feels emotionally disconnected from the previous version if that makes sense. 

Also my memory its like I don't even try to remember certain things from that past, something tries to block me from remembering (similar to an event I had with E3 all those years ago), or I can't even remember certain things at all. Oh believe me if I met someone from my past I would remember them but it would probably "feel" like I have no emotional connection to them or certain memories. Almost as if those things happened to "someone else". 

@ShannonI would assume based on your explanation before that it is "theoretically" possible to pull a different version of you into the present correct? Because there is obviously a different version of "you" that made a totally different set of choices and you can choose to experience that different version in the present if I am understanding this correctly? If true I guess this means there is a safe way to change the past that doesn't devolve into some butterfly effect scenario. 

One thing I don't understand though is why did my old, old friend from the past have a dream about me when I did this and then felt compelled to reach out and find me. Maybe be I was back on his wave length to a degree because I have felt recently that even when talking to the same women I was somewhat interested in before that now I barely have any interest and don't feel as connected to them. Funny enough I had this thought go through my head several times that they "weren't good enough for me". Which I have never done before in a "certain" past.

Basically, then, what you experienced was your consciousness choosing to shift from a probability line to a possibility line; what is most probable results from a probability line, but all things are "possible".  So, in order to accomplish the goals of the program, you chose a significant shift in what happened and perhaps even shifted to a different "reality" altogether.  

It is possible to jump from one line of events to a completely different line of events that was not directly connected to the originating line.  That is, from what I understand, how major shifts in reality are accomplished; those that people call things like "miracles".  If you shift from a reality in which a man dies and is laid out before you in a casket, to a reality in which the exact same casket and man are laid out, but the man never died - just chose to get into the casket - then it would appear to all present that the dead man "came back to life" if they all remembered his death. For example.

This sort of shift is exceedingly rare because it requires such advanced actions, but with the right set of goals and motivations, and perhaps a hint of the right choice of actions, it is possible for sufficiently experienced people to do.  It is said that true Masters can do things like that at will, consciously choosing to make them happen.

Once you're in the new reality, you'll be affected by it as you would expect to be at that point in the reality if you always existed there.  From the point of view of the new "reality", you suddenly shifted direction and changed, creating a disruption in the flow of that reality because of the influence of the old reality "being injected" as you "land" in the new reality.  It creates a split between the "you" who transitioned and the "you" who always experienced that reality, such that in one resulting path you continue without having "transitioned" and just experience the inertia of the reality because that "you" was always on it; and in another, the "transitioned you" jumps into this reality that is different, and it remembers some or all of the old reality, thus creating the potential for memory issues including confused double memories, no memories at all and others.

It isn't done very often because it's very difficult for most to do, even subconsciously.  But it is possible to do.

[DarthXedonias]

Basically, then, what you experienced was your consciousness choosing to shift from a probability line to a possibility line; what is most probable results from a probability line, but all things are "possible".  So, in order to accomplish the goals of the program, you chose a significant shift in what happened and perhaps even shifted to a different "reality" altogether.  

It is possible to jump from one line of events to a completely different line of events that was not directly connected to the originating line.  That is, from what I understand, how major shifts in reality are accomplished; those that people call things like "miracles".  If you shift from a reality in which a man dies and is laid out before you in a casket, to a reality in which the exact same casket and man are laid out, but the man never died - just chose to get into the casket - then it would appear to all present that the dead man "came back to life" if they all remembered his death. For example.

This sort of shift is exceedingly rare because it requires such advanced actions, but with the right set of goals and motivations, and perhaps a hint of the right choice of actions, it is possible for sufficiently experienced people to do.  It is said that true Masters can do things like that at will, consciously choosing to make them happen.

Once you're in the new reality, you'll be affected by it as you would expect to be at that point in the reality if you always existed there.  From the point of view of the new "reality", you suddenly shifted direction and changed, creating a disruption in the flow of that reality because of the influence of the old reality "being injected" as you "land" in the new reality.  It creates a split between the "you" who transitioned and the "you" who always experienced that reality, such that in one resulting path you continue without having "transitioned" and just experience the inertia of the reality because that "you" was always on it; and in another, the "transitioned you" jumps into this reality that is different, and it remembers some or all of the old reality, thus creating the potential for memory issues including confused double memories, no memories at all and others.

It isn't done very often because it's very difficult for most to do, even subconsciously.  But it is possible to do.

I would say everything you have said is pretty much on the mark as far as how I'm feeling right now. Regarding the memory thing its like sometimes I might get a memory from that former reality but then automatically think "wait, that didn't happen". It just feels like that it is uncharacteristic for me to think, act, or feel in the way I am remembering from then. In the end though I rather take dealing with slight confusion then the previous "reality" as it were. Things have significantly  improved for me (I even feel weird saying that as it feels like things have always been this way). 

Update: Not much to update at the moment. Things are just going good as they always are. I am just being patient for DMSI and (the one I'm mainly waiting for) UMS. I figure if most fears have been dealt with then the results from those subs should be even more powerful. I guess time will tell. 

There is one thing that I have noticed thought that I is worth reporting. So I've noticed on a few occasions that when I come to a truthful, big realization about something I feel something in the back of my head. Like something is realizing that, analyzing the conclusion and information. When I try to understand what this is in my mind or what is going on my mind starts to get "blurry" and heavy in a way. As if something is trying to conceal itself and wishes to remain hidden. Its funny because I tried earlier to understand this more and a certain imagery which i think was immersed in appeared in my head. I was standing on one small island which had light though it was still sort of dark. There was a small bridge that connected my small island of land to another island though I couldn't even see it because at the half way point of the bridge the light ended and it was total impenetrable darkness. I couldn't see past that point. What I could sense though was that there was something look at me from the darkness and I could feel mainly 2 attributes. Whatever was looking at me from that darkness seemed very powerful and had a certain "intelligence' to it that I couldn't understand. I almost want to say old or maybe ancient intelligence if it makes sense? As if this thing had vastly more resources then i did. 

I almost want to say this is my conscious mind sensing a certain level of the subconscious but I'm not sure. I didn't think or immerse myself in it too much because for some reason thinking about it and trying to figure it out brought on a headache. @Shannon is it possible for the conscious mind to at least sense levels of the subconscious at times? Obviously the subconscious is still you but I'm guessing the conscious would perceive certain levels of the subconscious as i guess "different" from itself? especially in the way they operate.