Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Wow, you're the first person I have seen echo my sentiments on academia and psychology today trying to be a hard science to be taken seriously by other hard sciences.  There seems to be a pervasive insecurity to those who practice psychology, trying to validate it with that approach.

Yeah, I honestly think it has something to do with most of them having a belief in scienticism if you are ware of that belief system. For those that don't know: 

"Scientism is an ideology that promotes science as the only objective means by which society should determine normative and epistemological values."

I obviously have problems with this outlook for 2 reasons: (1) Science can only explain the "how" of the world. It can't help you determine what "values" you should have. Values can only be determined by the individual themselves and different individuals have different priorities as far as their values are concerned. Funny enough, "valuing" science above all is a value in of itself. (2) As Shannon has explained, and others I have read, science is a tool towards getting towards the truth but that doesn't many any statements of "truth" it has at the time are actually going to stay that way or that they are set in stone. A good example is of how years ago people were saying it was good for a pregnant women for example to have a glass of wine a day and now I believe I saw knew studies coming out say that is wrong lol. Science itself is constantly evolving and changing since things that scientist thought were true turn out to be false or partly false so revision is needed. 

Either way i don't like where things are going with this. It seems like even now lots of psychologist are trying to take things that are inherently non materialistic (consciousness, subconscious, etc) and reduce them down to fit some simplistic materialistic view. Seems quite impossible to me considering the nature of those things. With that said there is something else I did want to talk about that happened last night actually which was quite revealing. 

I had some dream where I was in a old N64 game called Snowboard Kids 2 which is the same as Mario Kart 64 but with snowboarding. I was in the game but still seeing things from a 3rd person view. I was doing good but there was some difficulty because of me constantly being in 1st place to not being in first place during the race. Eventually though my annoyance grew and I became fully conscious within the dream. I literally sort of paused the game and then through force of will caused the game to skip to the part where I just won. I can remember the thought clearly that I said, "Why put up with this difficulty I am going to win anyway". It was almost a passing idea of why do people need to make everything so difficult in their minds. 

There must have been some part of me that didn't like that I did this because right afterwards I get transported to within this haunted looking house. Automatically I have this ghost or evil spirit pop out at me. I feel only a very slight movement within myself, emotionally, to respond but it doesn't happen. I'm just bored. What point is there in this when this being can neither hurt me or cause me to fear it which I would never allow in the first place. I am clearly in my mind where I am master and everything bends to my will not me to it. I did punch if out of slight annoyance though. Thing is it and other kept on popping up one after another constantly after that. After a while my annoyance had grown so much that I didn't even bother to extend myself anymore. I just let them hit me but all the good it did they could not harm me and their hands just bounced right off me.

Shortly after this it stopped then one looking like La LLorona came to me. I automatically recognized this symbol or sequence if you could call it that. She came to me and put her hand out, palm facing up, offering me a medallion in her hand that was almost the size of her hand. Before I telling the meaning, I should say this was very familiar because I automatically got the feeling I had seen this sequence like 3 weeks ago but didn't understand it at the time. The funny thing is I hadn't really seen anything regarding the La LLorona movie till early this week. This makes me believe that the part of the subconscious I was communicating with, if not the whole collective, was the part of the subconscious that doesn't perceive time at all. As to the meaning, it meant submission or that it had given up its control to me. Whether this is the collective or the part that doesn't perceive time at all this is a huge development. Either way, after that sequence played I woke up immediately with understanding of what had happened for the most part. 

I do see a good part of my own mentality played out in this. One of my frustrations is constantly people saying how hard something is. "Its hard to become rich", "its hard to become successful", "its hard to date good women", "its hard to have a good relationship" etc, etc. This is nothing but programming your mind that this is the way it has to be when it really doesn't. There are some people who had work hard for years in order to become successful and there are some people who had only a good idea and seemed to take off like a rocket in a short span of time. Some men have constant issues dating while others seem to get any women they want with minimal effort. To constantly say something "has" to be exactly this way or that way is limited thinking that I wish to avoid entirely. Whether something is difficult or hard is mostly dependent on the mindset you bring to the table. I have no time for people who constantly want to make things difficult when they don't have to be. 

I certainly won't accept such practices within the recesses of my own mind. It is funny, if more than anything this sub has made me freer than I ever have been but at the same time I am fiercely protective of my autonomy. I wish to be enslaved by nothing, whether it be a person, a code, an ideal, an impulse, or an emotion. My will is much stronger than it ever has been and I do not wish to have it bent to anyone least of all my own fears. The different instincts and emotions of my mind will bend to my will and not me to it. Or to be more specific to what Nietzche's alluded to, to have all of it submitted in service to a overriding goal or "goals" in my case. Of course these goals can change as I wish them to be. 

On a similar note, I have until tomorrow to decide if I am going to dump the Indonesian chick. I have 2 choices really. I could continue to stay with her and then probably have a good few years before it ends there is a possibility that it could go much farther because she has said she would use the subliminals to grow. The reason why I am not as hopefully is because there is one thing I didn't mention in my previous post which would have been a requirement by her. That requirement though would require me to give up a measure of control or "bend my will" as it were. In truth it is something I could easily fake to the point that it really wouldn't have control over me but I rather not do that either. It would be an affront to me honestly.  Or I could just dump her and then she will be heart broken and I won't necessarily feel good about it for a while but I will get over it and move on. 

Ugh, I do get these moment of clarity where I know what I need to do but the only sticking point for me still is this seeing people absolutely destroyed emotionally because of a choice a made. I know it is something I will need to totally get over because sometimes you need to make tough choices that will hurt others emotionally. Either way, I can make either choice as long as I own up to the consequences of either. I know most of the consequences of each choice and now it is just time to make one and move forward. For some reason I find some solace in that fact, of fully understanding the consequences then making that decision and accepting those consequences. Unlike before of making a choice and then lamenting the obvious consequences that I wouldn't have seen at the time. I believe it is because I don't try to deceive myself anymore and look at the choices very rationally now. 

Anyway, that is about all for now. This dream is definitely a good sign of things to come.