Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I just sent the message to the Indonesian chick and blocked her. I honestly feel like this was for the best. I'm simply growing too quickly on this sub. So I might be into a women at one point but a few months later I might have outgrown her. I guess this comes with the territory of developing yourself. I do admit when it came down to the last few hours before I did it I felt some kind of "fear" sink in and start to make up perhaps compromises. After I calmed myself and focused on why I was acting this way all of a sudden I realized what was happening. It is something else other people have noticed on the sub recently. The incident where your making good progress and then on your days off your subconscious works really hard to erase all the progress you made. Lucky for me last night was me starting the sub again so I was able to combat that and regain ground. I do think though this is something Shannon might have to find a way to combat.

Other than all that I am really happy to just start my life somewhere else without living by other people's rules or expectations. I'm also ready to make something of myself. Drew up a plan for when I am on UMS and if I can pull it off I will be good to go. I sent an application to a Chinese recruiting company on Friday. If I don't hear back from them today (which should be Monday for them) then I will send an application to a company in Korea. Would kind of prefer China in someways just because of the women aspect and I think I might play around with DMSI while I'm there "until" UMS comes out. Once UMS is out that will be my full focus. If while on UMS I reach my financial milestones I have already decided how I will invest the money to ensure I diversify everything. Most likely as well if I reach those milestones I will be moving permanently to the Philippines though I think I will still do some long term travel in other countries as well.

Either way I'm ready to just live my life freely and without all this control. I think the results (the identity level ones) will stay as long as I keep on this for a few more weeks. I say this because once I made that decision of self validation and then realized that the world didn't implode or any other number of things I feared you can't un-see it all. Once a lie is exposed for what it is, a lie you can't keep on believing in it. It would seem that this part of me is here to stay.