Transcendent Sith Lord's LTU 5.0 Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, thought I would update since some major things have been happening.

I did have some kind of switch turn on the other day that just cleared up my mind. I don't know what was taken care of but its like I know what I need to do now moving forward and I can see things so much more clearly without all the usual second guessing I do. One of the things clear in my mind is that I will need to run UMS whenever it comes out. I will need money to live the life I want and to do the things I want to do. I'm also just in general tired of being strapped for cash at one point or another.

I did realize something else that has been on my mind regarding the Indonesian chick. I've realized over a while now that , most likely due to LTU, I am starting to outgrow even her now. I can clearly sense it in the way even when I talk to her now I am not as keen and engaged as I used to. I think she is starting to sense this as well. So, as bad as it is I do have a choice to make. End the relationship now or hold on to it for a few years which she is still willing to grow which is true but I know when it comes to a certain point and a choice I have to make (which I will keep private for now) that the relationship will end. She will not be able to follow me at that point of which I'm 95% certain. The only thing that is keeping me possibly holding on to this is the fact that she has already mentioned me to her parents which for her culture is a very, very big deal. So, my sense of what is the honorable thing to do is fighting with my reason at this point. Would just be extremely disrespectful to do that at the moment but at the same time I know where this going to lead.

At least the good news is that she has said in the past she will listen to Shannon's subs so that might help out just well. This transformation has been deep and I think I know what has been going on. The first thing that came to mind as I pondered this was something Nietzsche had explained. It was the different types of morality: Slave morality and master morality. I think for the longest time I was acting on slave morality and then since doing subs I've been fighting against that type of thinking and then finally now I think I have transitioned over. Funny enough despite you thinking that this would make the sub listen effective its like the sub has made me even more independent in the sense that I don't want to be subservient or controlled by the whims of anyone. I think the sub gets a pass on this because it is trying to persuade you to its side of things. I do appreciate Shannon for doing that as well because this transformation has really made me appreciate that he's willing to go the extra mile instead of taking the easy way of using fear to motivate us to cooperate.

Most of the world doesn't operate like this. Most people in your day to day life don't try to persuade you to their way to thinking (or even to be persuaded themselves). Most of the time they just expect you to listen to them due to their position (like at work) and think that gives them the right to treat you like shit. Then are others who will lie (whether straight out or by omission) or straight up manipulate you in order to get what they want out of you (my mother is a good example of this). As of now I have this strong aversion of being controlled by anyone even more than before. I know this isn't over yet though as Nietzsche had another type of man who was on an even higher plan of existence. The Ubermensch or the self actualized man. Not sure if I'm at that level of self development yet but now I certainly have other's will imposed on me in general. There is just something about it now that leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

Also, something that I forgot to mention which is related to the whole relationship issue I feel even more like once in my life my life doesn't have to revolve around finding some relationship or being in one. I'm actually more concerned with progress in my life and my life's betterment than some other person. I don't "need" anyone as it were and I don't want to "need" anyone. I'm also making plan now on what I will do for investing once I start running UMS. I want to work on wealth generation hardcore when I can over the next few years. Eh, will I run DMSI I again? Possibly. I might be tempted to run it again right before I touch down in Korea or China (just to see how the affects are in another country) or sometime over the next few years just for fun (if I have already met my wealth goals to a degree).

I know as a certainty though that if I were to run it now I would be getting much better results. I think I just needed a bit more self development that LTU v5 gave in order to possibly get the results I would want. Though I will say American women still aren't my cup of tea so therefore I would expect much results in the US. Just the general attitude of women over here doesn't make them attractive for me. Therefore I doubt I will get many sniper hits over here due to the lower attraction.

One last thing as well, the idea of fear disgusts me now. I'm sure there are some times I might still fall into the same habit and fear a little bit but its like the concept really disgusts me now. Its like I see fear as some disease that doesn't belong in my system at all and it is not my ally. I've wasted too much of my life and accomplish almost nothing due to that shit. I'm just done with it. Anyway, that's the stuff that has been going on lately. Some big stuff and quite frankly with the upgrades UMS will have in regards to FRM I will be very happy to see how good I will do on that. I'm ready to progress my life a lot more.