Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal

[JackOfHearts]

ok, been waiting to give this report because frankly I had no idea how to put what has been happening into words. Still really don't know how to really but I will try. Needless to say I will keep on DMSI for a while even though it would seem its done quite a lot already. I did buy LTU for preparation for later on but like I said I will stay on this for a while longer (probably 2 weeks). Mind you I'm doing this for a very specific reason which I will lay out below and will become very apparent. Short of it do to what has been happening I "need" to graduate in March. No if, ands, or buts about it. I need to get that piece of paper and start making money.

Ok, for the long of it. Essentially I have 2 women that in the coming months I will be getting married to and they have both spoken to each other and are ok with the arrangement. First I should explain about the chick who I had mentioned in my previous post. She is from Indonesia and is very traditional. Wants to basically have a bunch of kids and stay home for the most part along with serving her man. She is 27 currently and working in Bali, Indonesia at the moment. This is after 8 years of working in Hong Kong basically taking care of elderly people and sending money back home. Even now while she is in Bali she is still sending money back home (like 75% of her paycheck). Apparently, her mother has poor health and her younger brother got in an accident that has left him permanently crippled (I did verify this as well). Also in case your wondering, nope she didn't ask me for money. I know that type of scam all too well so whenever a women would try that I just block them. I have no time dealing with that *****.

Anyway, she comes from a more traditional culture where they literally still have a dowry type thing. She has already talked to both her parents about me (a show of serious intention) and they have both given their approval. Mind you this only went so fast because her culture doesn't really date, though that's starting to change, but talk for a bit and if things seem in order there is an offer made. Anyway, despite something that did happen with her mother's health getting worst and her brother getting kicked out of school (once again, still didn't ask for money which is a good sign) that made her think about going back to Hong Kong to make more money to send back she realized she couldn't give me up and apparently wrote me a long text saying this and was literally crying for hours (what she said anyway). Mind you I did kind of push her in the direction of her just going to Hong Kong if she really needed to take care of her family and hence when she realized we would have to break contact she just couldn't go through with it.

Anyway, She is pretty much in the bag. So I just need to go visit her once then after that go again for the marriage and everything. Now for the second women who is actually from the Philippines. I had actually been talking to this one for weeks even before the other girl. After 3 days of cooling off because she was getting a bit too clingy I told her about the other girl and the whole thing. We had made an agreement if things didn't work out or I found someone else we would remain friends but my intuition told me something about this situation. So I kind of left little hints here and there and eventually she caught on to what I was suggesting. I came out and ask if she wouldn't mind being a second wife and she said she had no problem with it.

A little bit on this women. She is 28 and just really wants to settle down and have a family already. She had only one previous guy before for a couple of years who did become her fiance but they never got married due to what your about to read. Apparently this guy had real anger issues and was a drunk. She got beat regularly but stayed in the relationship for quite a long time. The final straw though was when she was pregnant then he beat her and she lost the baby. That was finally it for her and she just left. I really think this one was a manifestation based on what she has said. She says she had been on the site for years but ever since her last relationship she has basically been single for like 5 years and stayed at home helping take care of her mother and nephews (her sister is currently working in Lebanon at the moment). She has just been so afraid of being in a relationship since that she has barely talked to anyone on the site (she mentioned she had talked to maybe one foreigner on facebook but really wasn't as interested). Then one day a few weeks ago she said she was browsing the site and came across my profile. She said she saw me and what I read and just fell for me. I kind of wasn't paying attention really but she was persistent. She sent 2 other messages after the initial one to really get my attention so I gave in.

She's easy to talk to though she says she lives a very boring life. She just is mostly a home body and just wants to get married, take of the home, take care of any kids, and really take care of her man. I admit I was kind of freaked out a bit just because I think this was a shattering of my previous "reality" as it were. Before my reality was nothing but like women but them not liking me in return and just trying to "use" me like some orbiter. To have a women actually take a genuine interest in me and actually really, really seem devoted to me to the point of maybe even being obsessive sort of scared a part of me I think. I just wasn't used to it and it was something that didn't fit in that narrow reality I had always experienced. As a side note, Shannon is this common? That maybe someone comes across something that doesn't fit their preconceptions of how "reality" should be for them and then they get frightened by that?

Either way, this women is really devoted and knows she just wants a quite life at home. She made her devotion so clear that at one point she said that even if I wanted to her have 15 children she would do it for me. I will agree with her that she probably lives a boring life by other people's standards though she isn't boring to talk to at all really. I do have this feeling that after that horrible last relationship she sort of just closed herself off to the world and became a home body. The fact that I'm the only person she has really had any contact with (or had any desire to contact) outside her little "world" probably means she sees this relationship as very important to her so she doesn't want to lose me under any circumstances. So she is totally fine if I have other women and she has talked to the other girl and they seem to get along just fine for now.

As far as looks for the two girls they are decent. The Indonesian chick seems to be relatively decent in the looks department and has a nice body. Also, if she starts to notice herself gaining weight she actually starts monitoring her eating to keep herself good looking for her own health and to have her man still appreciate her. The Filipina chick has a relatively decent body. Is a little bit chubby but from what I've seen has nice thighs and a nice ass. Her facial looks aren't that great however but I guess she makes up for that with her personality and willingness to please her man. Anyway, those are the 2 women so far anyway. I could get other women which they both are fine with but I will hold off on that for probably a year or 2. I already have 2 potential meetings and weddings to plan.

With that said this has made me realize, as I mentioned above, that I definitely need to graduate in March. I need to do that so I can get a good job then start saving money up for all these expenses. Everything as far as meetings, etc should be done by mid Summer. Though I should say after I get my Bachelors I will be going straight to get my Master's as well. Will be getting a Master's in English so that I can get a high paying job in either Saudi Arabia or Dubai by this fall. Those places actually recognize these type of relationships so it wouldn't be hard to get a visa for them to join me as dependents when I go to work over there. Also, the pay is high and accommodations are usually provide. As far as subs, will keep with this a bit longer then I will switch to LTU because I need to graduate if any of this is going to come to fruition. Once I have my first degree, I will switch to UMS when it comes out.

I'm hoping in between doing all these things that I will maybe do some stock option investing once again. If UMS can help me emulate my previous success where I got up to 40k USD within 2 months that will be a big help. I also plan on finally using my VA home loan that I'm entitled to before I leave so I can buy some multi unit property that will help generate some additional income while I'm in Dubai or Saudi Arabia. Either way this is the plan for now and hopefully I execute it in a timely fashion. I did have one other quesiton as well @Shannon. Do you plan on doing further research on improving the FRM before UMS comes out? I just wonder because I feel like 4.4 is just at that point for me where I am seeing small progress every time I wake up though it seems very minimal each time. I have this feeling that whenever the next big upgrade will be that that might just push me to seeing a lot more rapid improvement. Granted, that is just an intuition I have at the moment so take it with a grain of salt. Though I also realize that you can only progress FRM as you come up with new ideas that might help improve it.

Anyway, thanks for everyone who was able to read through this wall of text. Sorry for any typos as well just really tired. Either way, looks like I have 2 permanent relationships in the bag for now so things have seemed to have been a success. With the improving relationship thing Shannon will be putting in LTU I think that will help me maintain what I have accomplished once have switched over. Either way, a lot of crazy stuff that has been going on that I would have never thought would happen. Hope I explained this all well enough.

To have a women actually take a genuine interest in me and actually really, really seem devoted to me to the point of maybe even being obsessive sort of scared a part of me I think.

I don't know for you but for me after a while, and after seeing a lot of women showing me "genuine interest" I realized they are just sexually attracted like guys when they see a nice piece of meat, don't fool yourself thinking they care about you, they care because you are attractive, if that attractiveness is gone they will switch from genuine interest to genuine "I don't fucking care of you" which to me is why a lot of marriage fail. A marriage is never secured in my opinion, from a male perspective it is a bit more but from a female one it is more loose especially if you didn't date them beforehand.

[DarthXedonias]

Reality bending at work. This is what it looks like in action.

I am always looking for ways to improve FRM. They will be discovered when the time is right. I don't know when that will be but I know it's true. I'm looking at ways to improve it still and so far the ideas I have had haven't panned out, or they have to come in after something else I haven't found yet.

Congratulations. I hope you're not going so fast that you've overlooked something, but I do hope this is what it seems for you. And thank you for not trying to do the underhanded thing, and being up front and honest with your women.

Hmm I thought that might be the case about the reality bending. It was too much of a "coincidence" that like just 2 days after I started the new version of FRM I got contacted by that Indonesian chick. Then within a span of a week she the Filipina agrees to this type of relationship. Though funny enough she did have one request. That she be the only filipina women that I get. She explained that she probably wouldn't be able to get along with another filipina because filipina's in general are very jealous prone. I do think there is more to that though which is that I think she wants to fill secure in her position so being the only filipina in the group would make her feel more secure about that.

Glad to hear you will still be trying to come up with ideas on FRM and model them. I really do hope you happen to come up with something before UMS is released. I just feel like I need just probably one more upgrade to really push things forward. Though if only 4.4 is able to do this much I wonder just how powerful FRM 5.0 will be.

Also, I hope as well I haven't missed anything as well or moving too fast. So far my intuition (something that has gotten stronger and better over the last few days for some reason) tells me things seem to be fine for now. I also saw no point in being underhanded especially when one girl was already very open to being in that type of relationship and I just had this feeling that the other one would have been open to it as well.

I did want to ask a personal question if you didn't mind @Shannon . Have you ever had to deal with a women who seemed quite obsessed with you before? I know for the filipina she has at times, while I'm asleep due to time zone difference, text me multiple times or call a lot. She has even thought when I haven't answered that I might be made at her for some reason. I get the feeling that she is one of those women that feels insecure about the status of her relationship with her man and needs to constantly have confirmation that things are alright between her and me. I guess this might play into her Deferent (as she puts it) attitude towards her significant other. Where she just usually agrees to go along with whatever he decides. Eh, don't know if all that is healthy or not. Maybe that its just the way she sees her relationships. Constantly want to make sure it is running smoothly.

[Shannon]

I did want to ask a personal question if you didn't mind @Shannon . Have you ever had to deal with a women who seemed quite obsessed with you before? I know for the filipina she has at times, while I'm asleep due to time zone difference, text me multiple times or call a lot. She has even thought when I haven't answered that I might be made at her for some reason. I get the feeling that she is one of those women that feels insecure about the status of her relationship with her man and needs to constantly have confirmation that things are alright between her and me. I guess this might play into her Deferent (as she puts it) attitude towards her significant other. Where she just usually agrees to go along with whatever he decides. Eh, don't know if all that is healthy or not. Maybe that its just the way she sees her relationships. Constantly want to make sure it is running smoothly.

High value men naturally trigger obsessive reactions from some types of women. The higher value a man is perceived to be, the more obsessed will she become if that is her nature, because she wants to be with that man so much.

I have a tendency to have women become obsessive about me. I have even had stalkers on a couple of occasions.

In her case, what you describe arises from insecurity, worrying about not being secure in her relationship, not being taken care of or cared about, losing the stability and security her relationship/man provides. It's not really a bad thing, as you have two good options for dealing with it:

1. You simply make sure she feels secure in her relationship with you.
2. You can use subliminals to help her grow into more self security if option #1 doesn't pan out.

Whether or not #1 works depends on how insecure she is and how immature she is. Some women are too insecure, and no matter what you do, will remain so unless you help them heal and clear the trauma that created that situation. Some women are so afraid of growing that they will submit to you to have you deal with what scares them, and in exchange for allowing her to stagnate instead of face and outgrow her fears.

Now if the state she is in is cool with you and she doesn't want to grow past her fears, that can be a good agreement. If you need her to grow to fulfill you, that could be an issue. I actually left my last girlfriend because after 4 years of me working to help her, she was still barely showing growth and my current girlfriend showed up, took my help, and achieved more growth in 4 months. I decided that if the first one didn't want to grow, then she was welcome to stagnate, but I have a life to live, and started with the one I have now. She does a great job of growing with me.

But, if I didn't need my old GF to grow with me, it would have been a great arrangement. She was submissive (not in a D/s way), and willing to be a part of me having multiple girlfriends at once. She was willing to cook and clean for me, give me sex whenever I wanted it, wherever I wanted it, however I wanted it, and all without me even asking for this. But what she was doing was trying to trade these things for me allowing her to hide from her fears, and I couldn't do that.

Your females may not have that issue. You may be happy to let them be what and who they are now, without changing or growing. My experience, we started off with me only agreeing to date her because she struck me as being in a bad situation I knew how to help her get out of, and I was willing to give her a chance to grow into her real potential.

[Raikahoken]

I hate to be the skeptical one, brother, but it has to be said. You've never met both of these women, correct? You don't live in their countries? And they're talking about marrying you? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I lived in Indonesia for 12 years and I've spent time in the Philippines, so I'd say I can speak with experience. Women in these countries see a man as their meal ticket. When you go on dates with them they always expect you to pay, they don't sleep with you unless you can better their lives in some way. They do get horny and sleep around too but if they're talking to you for marriage, they're 100% seeing you as a provider. This is doubly true for women who have financial issues, which is most women in those countries as they are poor countries.

The Indonesian woman is a classic maid archetype. Not educated because she grew up poor, went to another country to work as a maid (or something similar), earned some money while maybe having fun or getting pregnant (I've slept with my fair share of maids), then came back to their country somehow still poor, having to take care of parents, kids etc. I hope I don't sound like I look down on these women because I don't, but I hope you're aware of their reality and situation. Many of them see a man (especially a foreign man) as a way to help them deal with their financial baggage. They may say all kinds of sweet things to you now and make you think they want you because they like you (as much as someone can like someone from online chatting), but at the ages of 27-28 some of them are in hardcore provider hunting mode.

Now if you're ok with being a provider this is all no problem for you. On the plus side it's true they are more traditional and submissive to their man. However I raise another issue to you. You've never met them. You don't know whether you'd like talking to them or having sex with them, even living with them. Date them for at least a year first before doing something big like marrying them. For me I need to date a girl for many years before I can make that kind of commitment. Personally I also want my long term partner to be educated and not stupid so I can talk with them properly, but that's just me. You might find that challenging with these types, but if all you want is just a submissive wife who cooks and cleans for you, that may not be an issue. Date them first to see how you like being with them.

What I've said may be generalizations and your women may not be like that, but I want you to know the general culture there. Let's not get too excited here, meet them and date them first.

[DarthXedonias]

I hate to be the skeptical one, brother, but it has to be said. You've never met both of these women, correct? You don't live in their countries? And they're talking about marrying you? Correct me if I'm wrong.

I lived in Indonesia for 12 years and I've spent time in the Philippines, so I'd say I can speak with experience. Women in these countries see a man as their meal ticket. When you go on dates with them they always expect you to pay, they don't sleep with you unless you can better their lives in some way. They do get horny and sleep around too but if they're talking to you for marriage, they're 100% seeing you as a provider. This is doubly true for women who have financial issues, which is most women in those countries as they are poor countries.

The Indonesian woman is a classic maid archetype. Not educated because she grew up poor, went to another country to work as a maid (or something similar), earned some money while maybe having fun or getting pregnant (I've slept with my fair share of maids), then came back to their country somehow still poor, having to take care of parents, kids etc. I hope I don't sound like I look down on these women because I don't, but I hope you're aware of their reality and situation. Many of them see a man (especially a foreign man) as a way to help them deal with their financial baggage. They may say all kinds of sweet things to you now and make you think they want you because they like you (as much as someone can like someone from online chatting), but at the ages of 27-28 some of them are in hardcore provider hunting mode.

Now if you're ok with being a provider this is all no problem for you. On the plus side it's true they are more traditional and submissive to their man. However I raise another issue to you. You've never met them. You don't know whether you'd like talking to them or having sex with them, even living with them. Date them for at least a year first before doing something big like marrying them. For me I need to date a girl for many years before I can make that kind of commitment. Personally I also want my long term partner to be educated and not stupid so I can talk with them properly, but that's just me. You might find that challenging with these types, but if all you want is just a submissive wife who cooks and cleans for you, that may not be an issue. Date them first to see how you like being with them.

What I've said may be generalizations and your women may not be like that, but I want you to know the general culture there. Let's not get too excited here, meet them and date them first.

I do appreciate the advice though with all due respect I do have to ask have you actually read the majority of my Journal? If you did you would realize I have actually traveled to other countries (not just the Philippines as I mentioned recently)and talked to other women. So I am not ignorant of a lot of what you just said and I am quite aware of the "maid Archtype" you spoke of seeing as I have in addition many foreigners and expats that I know. Matter of fact one of my best friends for the longest time was actually a guy from Indonesia who also spent time in Singapore before he came to get educated in the US. So I am well aware of all the things you just mentioned.

As for the Indonesian I have already made it clear that if there is an emergency with her family fine I will send her back to spend time with them but I am not going to be her mother's or brother's personal piggyback and i have laid that down real clear. As for the so called "want for intellectual stimulation" I don't need that. If I want "intellectual stimulation" I go talk to my highly intellectual male friends or go watch a documentary. I admit my settling on this is due to the fact that I did believe in that for quite a while and kept on looking for these intellectually stimulating women. Every time I would get a women who would say "I'm so smart and different from all the other girls" only to find that they weren't or they just simply repeated what other smart people said. I'm not saying that to be sexist or say such women don't exist because they clearly do but I have just lowered my expectations on such things and decided to get such things from more readily available sources.

I am not angered by your response btw I am just annoyed because had you been paying attention to my journals many of the assumptions of which you based your post on would have been cleared up. I've been talking about the same stuff for years now on here. My views on Polygamy specifically and actually wanting to get married and have kids. Of course with the exception of never, ever getting married in the west since those laws are so biased against men. Yet all of a sudden when I get on this version of DMSI which allows me to get manifestations that help towards that goal and I actually contemplate actually doing it all of a sudden I get these people telling me saying how they are skeptical about any of this, etc.

I get it frankly most guys on here just want to be able to bang multiple girls or like the thrill of the hunt as it were. More power to them if that is what they want but not all of us here want that. Some of us Just want to find someone (or in my case several "someones") to have a permanent relationship with, have regular sex with, and eventually have kids with. My standards for a women I would be interested for this are very basic : Do you know how to cook? Do you know how to take care of the house? Do you know how to take care of kids? Are you going to give me sex when and where ever I want? Will you be devoted to me while I take care of you but will probably have other women? Are you somewhat entertaining to talk with at times? Do you look good physically? Are you more of a submissive type and going to respect my authority within the home (I'm a more dominant personality type in relationships as I have realized)? If so things will probably work out just fine.

Those are my only real requirements for myself at least. If other guys want to have more or have different requirements that is up to their personal taste. Any other things such as intellectual conversation, etc I can get well enough from other places. In closing I will admit this is why I was hesistant about even revealing what was going on because I had this feeling there were going to be some people who were going to jump on the "skeptic" wagon (about someone else's life and preferences I might add). The first thing that popped to mind was when Catman quite a while back just made post about how he didn't want to sleep with taken women and all of sudden his journal blew up like he had said some type of heresy. Also, one last thing Had you read my post carefully you would have noticed I had said I would actually meet them first before anything progressed further.

Anyway, I would just ask people I have no problem dealing with skepticism or questioning of some of my choices and I would gladly answer them. I would like to however those people actually know about my background by paying attention to what I have actually written in the past or in detail. Either way, I hope that didn't come off as angry though I was annoyed because your post included many assumptions about me (mainly my lack of experience or info with other cultures) that could have been remedied with actually have read my Journal in detail.

@JackOfHearts Also to respond to your post. Oh I know things can change just like that all too often. As for the marriage thing I would tend agree if done in the west. For some men they still get benefits from it in different countries where the laws aren't as anti male and where the women can't just wake up some day and decide they don't love you anymore but feel they are entitled to half your shit. Personally, I don't think the government should be involved in marriage at all really because it has totally fucked up the whole thing. Add on top of that there are several professions (Lawyers, social workers, gender studies majors,etc) who financially benefit from the way the current broken system is and that is just a recipe for disaster. Luckily the countries I will be working in and potentially living (I don't plan on coming back to the west) have it so that men actually have the advantage or even playing field in such matters.

[Raikahoken]

Anyway, I would just ask people I have no problem dealing with skepticism or questioning of some of my choices and I would gladly answer them. I would like to however those people actually know about my background by paying attention to what I have actually written in the past or in detail. Either way, I hope that didn't come off as angry though I was annoyed because your post included many assumptions about me (mainly my lack of experience or info with other cultures) that could have been remedied with actually have read my Journal in detail.

It's good to hear you are aware of these issues. Yes I knew there's a possibility you already knew all this. I've read your journal from time to time but didn't really follow it, though I might now. It's just that there are things you wrote in your post which alarmed me:

Ok, for the long of it. Essentially I have 2 women that in the coming months I will be getting married to and they have both spoken to each other and are ok with the arrangement.

Anyway, She is pretty much in the bag. So I just need to go visit her once then after that go again for the marriage and everything.

Anyway, those are the 2 women so far anyway. I could get other women which they both are fine with but I will hold off on that for probably a year or 2. I already have 2 potential meetings and weddings to plan.

Either way, looks like I have 2 permanent relationships in the bag for now so things have seemed to have been a success.

You sounded very bought in, having never met these women. Like they're already in the bag and you'd just meet them once and then marry them already. You were also thinking about what you'd do after you marry them. It made me think maybe he's not aware what he's getting into. People who are experienced with these types of women and the dating cultures in their countries would usually be more cautious. From my viewpoint I can either keep silent because I didn't have time to read through your journal or I can just say my piece which might potentially help you. Worst that can happen is I annoy you. You know I only want to help which is why you're not angry. My apologies for the annoyance.

I was going to bring up Jeff Bezos's recent divorce (the wife apparently will get $60+ billion) and ask you to be careful with marriage laws. But obviously you've looked into it. If there are places where you can indeed get married where men "actually have the advantage or even playing field", even with multiple wives, I'd really appreciate it if you can share the details. I'm sure everyone here would.

Still, I urge you to date them for some time before marrying them. You need time to really get to know someone and see whether you can stand being in a relationship with them, let alone married to them. I'm not doubting or criticizing you, I just want you to live a happy life. Wish you the best of luck, brother.

[DarthXedonias]

Anyway, I would just ask people I have no problem dealing with skepticism or questioning of some of my choices and I would gladly answer them. I would like to however those people actually know about my background by paying attention to what I have actually written in the past or in detail. Either way, I hope that didn't come off as angry though I was annoyed because your post included many assumptions about me (mainly my lack of experience or info with other cultures) that could have been remedied with actually have read my Journal in detail.

It's good to hear you are aware of these issues. Yes I knew there's a possibility you already knew all this. I've read your journal from time to time but didn't really follow it, though I might now. It's just that there are things you wrote in your post which alarmed me:

Ok, for the long of it. Essentially I have 2 women that in the coming months I will be getting married to and they have both spoken to each other and are ok with the arrangement.

Anyway, She is pretty much in the bag. So I just need to go visit her once then after that go again for the marriage and everything.

Anyway, those are the 2 women so far anyway. I could get other women which they both are fine with but I will hold off on that for probably a year or 2. I already have 2 potential meetings and weddings to plan.

Either way, looks like I have 2 permanent relationships in the bag for now so things have seemed to have been a success.

You sounded very bought in, having never met these women. Like they're already in the bag and you'd just meet them once and then marry them already. You were also thinking about what you'd do after you marry them. It made me think maybe he's not aware what he's getting into. People who are experienced with these types of women and the dating cultures in their countries would usually be more cautious. From my viewpoint I can either keep silent because I didn't have time to read through your journal or I can just say my piece which might potentially help you. Worst that can happen is I annoy you. You know I only want to help which is why you're not angry. My apologies for the annoyance.

I was going to bring up Jeff Bezos's recent divorce (the wife apparently will get $60+ billion) and ask you to be careful with marriage laws. But obviously you've looked into it. If there are places where you can indeed get married where men "actually have the advantage or even playing field", even with multiple wives, I'd really appreciate it if you can share the details. I'm sure everyone here would.

Still, I urge you to date them for some time before marrying them. You need time to really get to know someone and see whether you can stand being in a relationship with them, let alone married to them. I'm not doubting or criticizing you, I just want you to live a happy life. Wish you the best of luck, brother.

Well, thanks for explaining all that. In that case everything is fine then. I will explain further since I really think the difference between what you are seeing and worried about and what I'm seeing is a combination of difference in priorities, "culture" and general outlook. Sigh, I was going to touch on something I didn't mention eventually but I might as well do that now since it will shed a lot more light on this situation. The thing is even though this is vital information to understand all this I want to also be cautious as this dangerously comes a bit too close to Rule#4. So I will just put it in a way so that people reading this will be able to "read between the lines". If my efforts fail though and Ben or Shannon say it might be too detailed to break the rule I will either rewrite it or just delete it entirely.

Mainly within a day or 2 of running the newest version of DMSI I finally came to a decision that funny enough I had been leaning towards for like the last year and half. It makes me believe that all the previous versions of DMSI had made me increasingly think about this but never was powerful enough to make me come to an actual decision because fear was holding me back from doing so. Either way after running the new version I finally was able to give up my old "worldview" ,that my subconscious apparently had decided was keeping me from the goals of the program and presented too many problems, to accept a new "worldview". Of course coincidentally 2 days after this decision, and joining a site for people with this same worldview, I get contacted by an Indonesian women who shares the same worldview and same opinions on a man having multiple women. She contacted me because she agreed with pretty much everything I wrote in my profile.

Shortly after this within days I find the women I had been talking to for quite a while from the Philippines had no problem with the view on having many wives either. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure it was the sub at work here. That is way too many "coincidences" within the span of a few days after making a major decision that work in tandem with the goals of the program in a round about way. So, I have decide at this point follow this thing to where it is going to inevitably might lead or just deny any of this and "refuse" to believe this is the sub working. If I do the latter then I will just be like some of those on here who see some of the effects and then decide "Nah, I refuse to believe this is true it doesn't fit in my view of how reality should work". On top of that it would be pretty dumb for me to say I've wanted this type of lifestyle for years then when the opportunity presents itself after trying out the new version "magically" that I just say "Nah, this might present too much problems or something bad might happen so I'm not going to do it".

Don't take that as me being completely reckless though. There is some other things you guys don't know about but rest of assured I have been moving very thoughtfully about this. This isn't my first rodeo in this type of situation (dealing with foreign women anyway). I have dealt with this before besides the times I have mentioned on this site. Anyway, besides all that there have been other changes such as to my demeanor. Quite frankly I woke up one day and I realized what was the one trait I wanted in a partner: Obedience. It would seem that the more dominate side of myself had been let loose and quite frankly I wasn't as ashamed of the fact that I preferred a very submissive women and neither was I afraid of that side of myself any longer. Quite frankly I have gotten tired of being ashamed or fearful of my own sexuality at this point and what actually turns me on because lets face it in the culture I'm currently in it is seen as some kind of cardinal sin if a women actually submits to her male partner, don't even get me started on the fact if the guy actually prefers women like that.

In closing this is the lifestyle I have wanted that would make me happy and I am moving towards that. Does that mean I'm going to be reckless? No, but I'm not going to be kept in check by "fear" to stop from pursuing such a thing either. I've done that for too much of my life and I am tired of it. I'm just going to live my life and let the sub do what its meant to do without me getting in my own way. -heavy Sarcasm- Because hey, getting in my own way and trying to be controlling about everything the sub was trying to do has worked out so great for me in the past.

Oh and one last thing since @Raikahoken wanted to know and some others might. Yes, the divorce laws in the places I will be working at aren't even on a even playing field I would say. They heavily, heavily favor the husband. If I had to sum it up the husband basically gets everything and the wife gets practically nothing. So she has no incentive to initiate an divorce unless its very dire. Compare this to Western or first world countries where women usually initiate 80% of the divorces and most of the time its for very frivolous reasons. So let it be known I did a lot of research before I started any of this and knew a lot about divorces laws in other countries. Even if this did end not so well for some reason, I would basically lose nothing. Matter of fact, as an example in Dubai even if lets say the wife does get custody of say a Son, she can't really get the daughter since to their culture a female can't be left alone with a male not related to her of which a step father would count as that, if the father can prove that the mother is making the Son grow "soft" (read turning into a soyboy or cuck who needs female validation) the father can petition the court and take the son.

[Raikahoken]

This "worldview" you're talking about, is it sexual worldview or something else? Basically you joined a D/s site or something similar?

Oh and one last thing since @Raikahoken wanted to know and some others might. Yes, the divorce laws in the places I will be working at aren't even on a even playing field I would say. They heavily, heavily favor the husband. If I had to sum it up the husband basically gets everything and the wife gets practically nothing. So she has no incentive to initiate an divorce unless its very dire.

Sounds like a middle eastern country bro. I hope your new "worldview" doesn't mean joining the IS hahaha jk

Anyway don't worry about sharing your sexual views here, in a forum of full DMSI users people are definitely more accepting of your authentic desires. I can see the appeal of what you wrote though it's not for me. But congrats for getting more clarity on what you want. You've obviously put a lot of thought into this.

[DarthXedonias]

Eh, been a while. Originally I had a lot more to say but I think I will just narrow this all to two important points and just keep the rest to myself. I'm currently on break and actually will be moving on to LTU since given the circumstances I laid out I "need" to finish my online university program. I have literally been dragging my feet on this when it should have been done in like November or December. Also, since a new better version of LTU will be out I might as well hope on it now instead of waiting an additional week. With that said I think I have had 2 major insights. One due to DMSI I believe and another that I believe is TID from LTU.

The first is confirmation about a recurring theme I have kept having and I have gone back to before. I didn't know why this kept on coming up but now I think i know why now. It had to do with that dream I had mentioned where I would start walking in one direction to my goal or destination but then after a few steps I totally forget why I'm there or what I was doing. Rinse and repeat. I woke up one morning and had a flash of insight about this situation. For some reason I seem to get these flash of insights into what is happening internally after I wake up for some reason. In this one it seemed like all the pieces seemed to fall into place and I finally understood. I realized I had heard of this type of defense mechanism in Psychology before. Where someone has a traumatizing event happen that is so severe, usually at a young age, that they either pretend or actually fool themselves into believing that the event never happened. This is despite that traumatizing event affecting almost every area of their life.

It is so bad that even when a psychologist tries to help them deal with it they are so "afraid" of even remembering the event that they just won't even acknowledge the event happened no matter what the psychologist tries. I am pretty certain that is what is going on at the moment. There is something that was so traumatic or that I am so afraid of that I am willing to have complete amnesia whenever I get even close to whatever it is I fear. Obviously I was still able to get results on this version thing is though there still seems to be something that even my subconscious doesn't even want to deal with that it will go so far as to Truly believe such a thing happened or that such a fear exists. Anyway, that was the first revelation I had that confirmed something I had been thinking for a while.

The second thing I realize though was the degree of self sabotage the part resisting is willing to go through. I woke earlier this week and something really strange happened. I realized something in the back of my mind was on full blast. Essentially I could "feel" every thought the part resisting was having. Essentially, It was how it wanted to sabotage every plan I had laid out for the coming months when it came to succeeding at finishing my programs, leaving the US, and my plans with the girls. I don't know how but this all bled through into my conscious mind and I could hear these fear fueled feelings just wanting to sabotage everything possible. I could clearly tell this was out of fear of what it meant to succeed. This was quite the interesting experience I had where the part resisting was just on full display with no filter. (Edit) Forgot to mention that this whole thing I think is a response to TID. Over the last few days I have come up with some plans after asking what I really want to do with my life. One of which is after I am finish with my current degree I actually will be working on getting a software development degree so I can get high pay and also do work that I would actually find interesting. After I really thought about it I found that teaching English would just annoy and irritate me because I rather deal with things than people. Dealing with stupid people especially takes a lot of energy out of me.

I wonder if maybe even though what is happening internally is suppose to be hidden mostly from the conscious mind that the part wanting to co-operate is trying to show me things when I wake up to say "hey, this is how your trying to resist and I need some help here with this". Either that or maybe since I just woke up and presumably from a different state of mind that I'm just still being very self aware of a few things until I completely out of that different state. Anyway, I thought I would report this just because it seemed like it would be good info to maybe better improve the tech for future subs.

[DarthXedonias]

Thought since I'm not having any SQL problems with the site at the moment I would update on something. I am definitely sure I am having TID now. I have stopped pretty much playing video games over the last 2-3 days. Its like I just realized how much time wasting they are for the most part but also the pleasure I am getting from them and watching youtube videos (non-educational ones) is just not very high up there like it is. Then something out of the ordinary happened yesterday. I actually went onto Udemy and started looking through for program language courses and funny enough I realized that months ago I actually had bought a course that actually went over Java, Ruby and Python which are the major programming languages I planned on learning. I went at least 3 videos into the course and weirdly enough I actually started feeling and excited and happy about going through it.

It was like the happiness and excited I had from playing videos games had been pushed towards this instead. After getting about 3-4 videos in I stopped because I think there was one part that could still resist that was getting "freaked out" that I was actually enjoying this but probably even more to the fact that it was probably scared more of actually succeeding at learning something like that. Another thing happened today as well. It had to do with something the Indonesian girl had suggested I looked up that would have been important. I had the urge to actually get to watching this educational youtube video and actually started enjoying watching it and learning the information. I actually ended up watching quite a few others afterwards and learn quite a few things today.

Anyway, due to this I'm pretty sure TID is in effect though wonder whether the program will drop tonight or tomorrow. Either way I will be on it. As of now I have really thought about sub routine over the coming months. I will stick with LTU because I really need to get my life into gear and part of that is finishing my college course. Though after that I will have to really think about what I really want to do. When UMS comes out I will really need to consider whether I want to jump on that and of course one of the main considerations will be if there are any improvements found to FRM before that particular sub comes out. I am considering doing some investing like I did back in the day with stock options when that sub comes out.

Back in the day I actually turned about 2k USD into 40K within 2 months. If UMS can make that a regular occurrence or even better it is possible I might not even need to get another degree in programming. Once again though that is a big "if" and whether my subconscious doesn't find some way to completely sabotage the sub. Granted, part of me also wants to still get the a programming degree so that I can work from home or do something. Its like even if I got very successful thanks to UMS and didn't have to work another day in my life due to investments I still want to do something more than just lay around and do nothing all the day. I want to actually do something big. I think that is why eventually the main subs I will probably look forward too are BAMM 6G and the Psychic sub if that becomes an actual sub in the past. Something is just gnawing on me in the inside to stop being lazy and hopeless and actually reach my full potential for some reason.

[Shadow2200]

I've had to look at how much time i've spent playing video games. Seems like we're finding better uses of our time

[DarthXedonias]

Well, I just learned something that actually does makes me to have to make a decision on my sub schedule. I learned that after I finish this current degree program, early I might add, due to financial aid reasons they won't allow me to enroll in another program until the month after my original term would have ended. So in this case I wouldn't be able to enter the Software Development program until September which is pretty far away. So based on this new info I think I will run LTU until UMS comes out. By that time I should have already finished my current degree program if LTU with the complete Magnus Engine does its job. After that I think since I will be doing some investing UMS will be best to run all the way up until September.

If UMS does some wonders and I do better than I did last time I did Stock options then I might already be set financially and might not even have to go into the software development program. If not I can just go back to LTU when it is time to go into that program. I think I have a feeling though that UMS might make something big happen especially if there is any FRM upgrades between now and when it gets built. I really hope there is. I am happy about this info forcing me down this road though because to be honest I hate it when I have to choose between two things and neither of them are really "bad" choices per say because then I have to do all this thinking about the nuances of making each individual choice and that gets tiresome. Just prefer it when the situation changes then I'm presented with new info that forces me to make the best choice due to the new info.

Anyway, Here's to hoping that UMS is world shattering!

[DarthXedonias]

Hey all!

Glad the forum is back up and running. Thought I would give an update since I'm only a few hours away from starting to listen for my 3rd day of LTU 5.0. Eh, so far I will say the sub seems pretty decent so far and pretty powerful. I have noticed a few others things though. First off I should mention the situation with the girls. Things with the Indonesian women is going great and I find that we are talking more excitedly with each other and earlier in the day I might add. I have noticed that she seems to be falling for me more and more. Funny enough I find myself enjoying her company more and more. I'm getting to the point of actually allowing myself to be vulnerable and am actually feeling feelings of love towards her.

I'm pretty sure she is feeling the same because I have noticed from the time I started feeling TID to actually running the sub that she has started being more open about having somewhat sexual discussions to a degree and seems to be more certain that she wants to be with me. For example, She has told me of how if we got together she actually has some role play fantasies and asked me if I was ok with trying out such a thing. Funny thing is she also told me in private if we live together that she will mostly just walk around in bra and panties because its more comfortable for her and also for my benefit. Along these lines I asked her if she wouldn't mind wearing a "certain" outfit (The ones a women working in a Casino in Las vegas would wear with bunny ears) and she said she would have no problem wearing that around the house for me.

She seems to be ok that as long as she is in a committed relationship she is freely ok with her sexuality and expressing it to the man she is committed to. On top of that we seem to be fine on other levels as well because she seems fully committed to taking a relationship seriously and constantly looking on ways to maintain it. To me this is quite an anomaly because I have wanted a women who takes relationships seriously and when hard times come doesn't just cut and run. Most of the women I have seen in my life up to this point seem to be the exact opposite. They just see a relationship as some game or thing to get into when they are bored. When they start to lose interest in the guy or hard times come she just dumps the guy and finds another. Its quite refreshing to find a girl who has similar views to me.

It would seem so far this strengthening seems to be due to the improve your love life module. As for the second girl I still have feelings for her but haven't gotten to talk to her as much because something horrible happened to her. She was pretty sick the last 2 weeks or so but then she got rushed to the hospital yesterday. It turns out the reason she was so sick was because she had the measles. So far her conditioned has stabilized but she might not be out of the hospital for a while. Problem is the Philippines is pretty messed up. Apparently she has told me that in order for her to leave to go home, she has to pay the medical bill. The problem is if she can't pay the medical bill she has to stay. The longer she stays the longer her bill gets. It seems like a really fucked up system if you ask me for a third world country where most in the government probably know most people can't afford such things.

I'm hoping something happens soon that will get her out of this situation. Anyway, besides all these other results I am getting motivated to study more now and hopefully I will take my retake test for accounting soon and actually pass. Other than that I did realize another thing. I realized that when considering doing the software programming degree I was mainly motivated by fear and that was the fear that mainly just teaching English wouldn't be enough to support myself or a family. At the same time though part of me still wants to go through with it to see if I like it and the fact that the money and job opportunities would just be so good.

Other than that I've just been feeling decent lately but also I do feel like i'm emotionally vulnerable which makes me feel weird at times because I mostly keep these emotional walls up around myself to "protect" myself. Will see if there are anymore improvements on that front as time goes on. Anyway, that is about what I have noticed so far. Will report again probably once I start my second around sometime next week.

[Shannon]

This is no longer a DMSI journal. You should start a new one.