The EMPIRE Strikes Back (UMS v.3)

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v3.1 upgrades the Fear Removal Module from v5.0 to v6.1, which in itself is a huge step up and opens the door to some amazing possibilities.

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Have you felt/noticed a difference with FRM v6.1 in UMS v3.1 compared to FRM 5.0 in UMS v2?

Honestly, UMS v3.1 has kept me on my ass for the past week; I'm mentally tired and less productive overall, especially outside of workplace hours.
I'm a bit more meek and passive, but that's been lessened today.

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Day 23,

I have one more day on in my 7-day on routine until I have a "rest" day.
I'm finding that I'm tired; too tired to try new things - aka risks, qualifying processes such as calls, dates - because I don't want to have to deal with the fallback of initiating these things.
Fortunately, I know that this is due to running a 6G program.

At the same time, I'm realizing that I've probably always been low energy and fairly boring because of it.
Possibly because increasing the amount of energy that I put into my words and actions calls attention to myself.

Then, I've had the recent insight that I'm probably embarrassed - holding some level of shame - about my accomplishments and levels of success; I'm normally secretive about my life, but it's probably because I don't want to explain myself and stand behind my own successes. I don't really share my projects with family or friends.

I used to place my hope in books, courses, expensive coaching, and other forms of media, because I used to believe that it would make something "click" and make me wildly successful.

But after too many false starts, I've concluded that it's all internal, but then what?
What reasonable conclusion should you reach if you try a ton of things and you it doesn't work?
Is the "internal" fix all bullshit, and do you really need tons of external work and some luck to make it all work?

Hoping that we'll have stage 2 dropping for streaming soon.

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Day 24,

I'm a little drunk (gasp, on Good Friday).
Am realizing how much I hold myself back in several respects.
I don't hit on the women I want to hit on; I don't make hard pushes in businesses the way that are most effective; I don't tell people to go fuck themselves when they deserve it.
This is an interesting reflection that I'll try to preserve when I'm sober again.

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Day 26,

I've been reading a book about estate planning and will creation; though it's a bit morbid, it's enlightening in the sense that you'll need to spend a bunch of money to get your affairs in order before you die, then to pay people to enact your will and to give your possessions and assets to other people.

Then, the amounts in these assets and accounts are fun when the numbers are high.
And so, all I need is a lavish income in order to fund these "streams" and to create large pools of cash in several locations. It's not much use to micromanage small trickles.

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An added note:
I listened to the first loop in 2 days just now.
It's 2:20 AM and I've been trying to sleep since 1:00 AM, overdoing that bedtime by an hour. I'm meant to be up at 7:15 AM to drive back.

Something in me snapped, and I started to conjure up workplace scenarios where I'd get implicitly disrespected, such as getting interrupted mid-sentence. And instead of my breathing exercises working, I found myself talking through how I would "call out" their behavior, embarrass them, have them scramble, and reclaim my power.

I'm not sure what it is, but I'm not fearing the crash out any more; what I mean is that I'm growing tired of the strategy of standing still in the hopes that you don't stir up trouble. I think that if I can be smart about it, I can tactically call out bad behavior and come out on top.

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Day 28,

I'm feeling myself organically wanting to retool my Facebook ads and work more on course creations and funnels, etc.
Am accumulating a short list of promotions for Facebook marketing, copywriting, and growing businesses and I'll be buying a couple - 10-27 USD a pop - to create more streams of income.

I'm at 80/153 Microsoft-sized pages through draft 3 of my book; will not need to evaluate every page with as much detail; most of my images are created and laid out via ChatGPT; things are moving along quickly.
I'm about 45 days into this project, and I'm pleased with how much less work this has been. I anticipate I'll be done well before June 1st, then I can look to making more MONEY!

I would dare say May 15th, but I have a big music-based engagement between May 1st and 10th. We shall see.

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Day 29,

I've noticed that I'm not getting interrupted or cut off on calls at work.
I either choose to not add to a conversation when there's too much chatter, or I start with enough planned in advance.
Maybe I've added that extra 10 percent to my speaking confidence that it's noticeable to others? Noticeable enough to not try to challenge me, perhaps?

I did a 4-hour rehearsal for the musical I'm a part of; paid per hour, so it's nice.
I'm at page 96/154 of Draft 3. Might be done by the end of the weekend.

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Day 30,

I've paused/cancelled my subscription to Stage 1; taking a day off, then I'm going to do Stage 2 tomorrow.
I made an extra 200 CAD for about 4 hours of work; I got to play guitar and jam for a musical that's coming up next week.
The number of days that we're performing has increased back from two weeks to a third week.

Each of the weeks that we have shows, I essentially have a second duplicate income, earning as much as I make in my day job.
It risks being taxing, though.

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Day 31, Stage 1,

On my day off of listening, I had an interesting dream.
In real life, I have a childhood friend whom I don't keep in touch with, and haven't really since high school, and a lady in 80s who was my landlady when I moved cities.

In the dream, all of us, and others I knew, were in a living room when the childhood friend - to other friends - mocked the old lady's art and how rich she must be (she's not exactly rolling in it).
He didn't expect her to hear it; she did. She expresses her displeasure at me.
The friend is uncharacteristically rude in my dream.

I ask him to have a word in the kitchen and confront him about it; he brushes it off. I felt that I have no choice but to wrestle him down and smack him in the face. If he isn't going to show respect organically, at least he can pretend.

Anyways, I was surprised at how violent I got; I think it got as far as a hefty metal spoon to the nose. He froze and did nothing while I did that.
This would be uncharacteristic of me, given how chill and usually non-confrontational I've been.
This Stage has me being a little more forceful in my talk.

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Day 3, Stage 2,

Ever since I've started Stage 2, I must remark just sparked I am when I wake up.
During Stage 1, I was dragging myself out of bed, and snoozing three minute chunks to get caught up; I would snooze or sleep in if I could.

Since starting, I wake up with a little more purpose; though I'm tired and I'm slow to get up, my mind will not let me go back to sleep.
I need to get more serious about my diet and exercise; noticing a bit of extra belly fat that was not there.
I'm wondering if I used sweets and extra food to cope from the effects of Stage 1.

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Day 6, Stage 2,

Entering my second night with no loop. I actually feel rested on less sleep when I don't have input.
Did my first show of the Rock of Ages musical I've been rehearsing for. I'd say that I'm 85% satisfied with my performance; the in-ear monitors are all over the place for volume, and so I'm doubtful before ripping some solos over dialogue for fear of drowning the other people out.
It will get better each night, and I'm getting paid well per hour on the clock, so I don't mind.

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Day 9, Stage 2,

Back to the loops tonight.
I did two shows yesterday - a matinee and night-show - and am expecting to make 375 CAD.
My classically-trained guitarist friend came to see the night show, then we went out to eat.

It was a bit surreal when two older (50+) women at the next table did a double-take and said: "were you just at the show?", then started to gush about how much they enjoyed it.
My friend was like "why aren't you trying to make something happen with them?" lol I'm not quite at that age where that's an appealing thing.
Another matinee today, then I'm off of doing shows until Tuesday.

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I might note that my desire to meet and hook up with new women is at an all-time low.