Superman's Journal 2015 BIABWS, AM6, erpha, Wm2, AOSI

[Superman]

I normally listen to ultrasonic at night while I sleep from my laptop speakers. I thought I would try something different for the last few nights so I turned on masked trickling stream. It's only been on for about 2 hours and my head is pulsing and slightly dizzy. I like this feeling. It makes me feel like the sub is doing a lot of work. I think I'll continue running all my subs like this from now on

[Superman]

Update: it's probably close to day 90 now, I regret not marking down the start date.

As for progress with the sub I'm still cocky and playful with girls. Aside from that I haven't noticed too much. No obvious sexual interest. Unless women's definition of obvious differs from my own.

But I did start talking to this new girl at work who I feel is attractive and I have a feeling she's attracted to me too. So despite my previous apprehension about coworkers I'll still give it a shot.

A more definite change in myself that I noticed since my last update is that I really don't care for my ex anymore. I'm so annoyed and tired of her bullshit. I don't want her in my life in any way anymore.

Another thing I'm noticing is that I'm very annoyed by the sub playing. Whenever I hear it I get the urge to turn it off. Also I have a playlist that plays ultrasonic and masked one after the other all night. When I listen to that I experience weird dreams, more than with just one of them playing.

[Superman]

Yes, it's my plan to run AM6 again and then possibly aypsl. I'll be going with the subs I already own for the foreseeable future because I don't really have the money to spend right now. Heck I didn't even have the money to buy the subs I have right now. I purchased them all on credit card and put myself in debt.

I'll be running AM6, biabws and aypsl over and over until either I feel like I've gained enough from them or if a 6g sub comes out that I can afford. I also have a few other subs but I've got to prioritize and changing subs often reduces the effectiveness.

Maybe in the future I'll have a 6 month sub plan where I run a different sub every month for 6 months and then repeat. Or maybe 3 subs at 2 months each and repeat every 6 months

The way Shannon talks about 6g I'm expecting this to be very expensive. Possibly 200 for a single stage sub. At that price I'm likely to either just use the free versions or just buy one sub and that's it. Either way I'm looking forward to trying it

[Superman]

Well me and my on and off gf/ex just ended things for good. It affected me more than I thought it would. I was feeling OK about it when I thought I was the one moving on and ending it, but since she ended it before I could I felt some sort of emotions. Like she was abandoning me for something else.

I would have preferred if I had remained the upper hand and ended it. Although I suppose having her end it reduces the collateral damage. If she feels like she won and it went her way she won't be angry or upset, won't start rumours or cause hardships for me. This kind of important because she's a coworker and mostly everyone know her except for the new people.

Speaking of which I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for this but I'm gonna ask one of the new girls out, hopefully she can keep things quiet and not blab about it at work.

These stupid emotions really emphasize how much I need to run am6 again. A one week break is required between subs before starting am6 right? I'm considering starting am6 next week

[Superman]

OK so I think this week will be my last week of biabws I don't know the total number of days but it will be above 90.

As of right now I'm not feeling too good about my life and my situation. It's an odd feeling to be completely single after 4 years. I don't believe that I've manifested any one during the run of this sub but I could be wrong.

There's a girl at work, actually there are two. They're twins and they're really friendly and chatty with me. Every time I suggest we do something they agree and seem interested. I'm not sure how I feel about pursuing so soon after breaking up. Also everyone at work thinks I'm still with my ex and they know her personally as well.

I'm a little on the fence about it but I'm still going to take a swing and see how far I get.

I want to run aypsl for a while since I'll be starting university in September, God damn university girls are sexy. And thanks to feminism is making them all into whores who "explore and take control of their sexuality" so I can reap the benefits.

Although I want to run aypsl it's just sex, and in the long run I know AM6 will be best for me. So in about 2 weeks I'll be starting AM6 again for my second run.

[Superman]

One thing I noticed recently that I don't like, I'm having a tightness in my chest and throat which makes my voice higher pitched and my breathing isn't as deep and relaxed.

[JackOfHearts]

Well me and my on and off gf/ex just ended things for good. It affected me more than I thought it would. I was feeling OK about it when I thought I was the one moving on and ending it, but since she ended it before I could I felt some sort of emotions. Like she was abandoning me for something else.

I would have preferred if I had remained the upper hand and ended it. Although I suppose having her end it reduces the collateral damage. If she feels like she won and it went her way she won't be angry or upset, won't start rumours or cause hardships for me. This kind of important because she's a coworker and mostly everyone know her except for the new people.

Speaking of which I'm not sure if I'm emotionally ready for this but I'm gonna ask one of the new girls out, hopefully she can keep things quiet and not blab about it at work.

These stupid emotions really emphasize how much I need to run am6 again. A one week break is required between subs before starting am6 right? I'm considering starting am6 next week

I think that it doesn't matter who break up, it only matter because you are afraid people will ask you which one break up and that you might feel stupid.
It's even more stupid when a girl break up because she is afraid that you will break up first.
If you look deep enough you will see that it's just a lack of confidence. Like when a kid attack another because he is afraid the other might attack first, it's immature.

[Ryan]

Sometimes I think that our goals subconsciously can push away specific people we actually don't mean to... But I think it will all turn out well for you Superman, I went through similar when I had started Sex Magnet for the first time and I was really hurt about it... But eventually I realized it was for the best.

[Superman]

Wow ok, so I had a really bad day today. First I misplaced almost everything I used today. Then I find out the girl I was interested in at work is allergic to seafood and I love seafood so that messes things up a bit,she's no longer relationship potential bUT her body still functions perfectly for my purposes ,also there's always the other twin sister just in case

Then at work one of the coworkers was being really difficult and wasn't listening to my instructions, and I was getting really annoyed and I went off on him a little. Then almost right after that there was a big mix up with one of the customers and she got really bad service which probably will lead to a bad complaint and I feel a little shaken because I never make mistakes like that and one of my coworkers is trying to take all the blame for the situation but I won't let him if she actually complains.

I really hate the way I handle these types of situations. Any time a confrontational situation comes up I feel scared and nervous. My body sweats and my voice shakes and becomes higher pitched.my chest becomes tense and breathing turns shallow. I also hate the fear that I experienced when I think of the customer complaining to the boss or head office.

My nervous system never goes into fight mode only flight. When I catch myself responding in this way I try to force myself to hold my ground because I know how to do it,but it's against my nature the way I was raised to be.

I think the fear comes from a lack of abundance mentality. I fear that if the customer complains, I could possibly get fired or my bosses will be upset with me. Which also shows that I seek others approval and always desire for others to be happy with me, for them to like me. I let other people influence my emotional state way too much and I hate it.

All these things are the definition of a beta to me. I'm done with biabws, I'm starting my week off tonight and starting am6 next Friday.

[apollolux]

Then I find out the girl I was interested in at work is allergic to seafood and I love seafood so that messes things up a bit,she's no longer relationship potential

This is a relationship deal-breaker for you, her allergies to seafood? You're being a bit picky here, especially since she can't control what allergies she has or doesn't have. Disqualify "relationship potential" for something substantial like "is needy and calls me all the time" or "won't do anal" or something, but food allergies? Come on. You're making excuses.

[apollolux]

I love to eat everything and tried to date a vegetarian. It was a challenging experience and did not last too long. If the goal is to just have sex, it wouldn't really matter. For a long term relationship... it will be... challenging.

One cannot choose their allergies, but they can choose to be vegetarian or not. That choice of vegetarianism may also often result in a lot of elitism and being judgmental of meat-eaters, which may or may not be among what you experienced from this girl, 4Kingdoms.

The other stuff, "won't do anal", "is needy and calls me all the time" (your words) are beliefs/personality traits that can be changed.

Exactly. The dealbreaker aspect about the things I listed and the vegetarian example is primarily about if she's extremely resistant to changing things that can be changed, either due to stubbornness or some other reason.

My point is that something like allergies that is as unchangeable as, say, base eye color should not be a relationship dealbreaker.

[Superman]

Reading my post again I agree that it does sound like I'm making excuses, but I do believe that while her allergy is a physical trait that can't be changed it could cause a problem if I were pursuing a relationship.

I'm still going to try though, but for a purely physical relationship at first and then see how limiting her allergy is. Due to my religion I can only have seafood at almost 80 percent of restaurants or food establishments, and from her explanation of her allergy it's a pretty severe reaction which makes her very ill for an entire day.

It might be picky but to me if I ignore her allergy that's like saying I don't care if she only has one arm and one leg.

And 4kingdoms, I also find myself using stupid excuses like the ones you mentioned to disqualify myself or other women before even trying. I don't quite know why I do it ,maybe anxiety, maybe confidence , maybe fear of rejection, it could be anything which is why I'm going to run AM6 again

[Superman]

I'm marking the dates on my calendar ,going to start am6 tonight.

Im feeling way too many unwanted emotions. Another incident with a coworker ,he wasnt following my orders and was threatening to fight me if I sent him home. My body tensed up and I felt an increase in anxiety. Shallow breaths. Like I said before my flight response always acts up in tense situations. I hate this feeling.

[Superman]

Am6 is one hell of a sub. I can really feel the difference between 4G and 5g with this sub. I played it all night last night and I had so many vivid dreams. Then I played ithe for a couple hours at home and it knocked me out for a good few houses.

My new method of playing the subs are through laptop speaker when I'm at home and headphones when I'm out. During the night I have ultrasonic and masked looping one after the other. During the day I just have ultrasonic looping all day.