Spiritman Journal

[Ryan]

Another thing you can do is this. Casually say, "Hey, I am going to [do XYZ], wanna come with?" This frames your "Let's go out" in such a way that her saying no is meaningless, because you were going regardless. Just food for thought.

I like that. Doing your own thing and letting her tag along. I'll have to try that sometime.

It's awesome. It works. Probably some of the best advice I ever got about dealing with women.

Wasn't that from David D? I love using that... Also the whole, Hey I'm busy Wednesday and Friday but I'll be free Thursday. Or hey next weekend I'm going to the festival downtown, you should tag along.

[Shannon]

Another thing you can do is this. Casually say, "Hey, I am going to [do XYZ], wanna come with?" This frames your "Let's go out" in such a way that her saying no is meaningless, because you were going regardless. Just food for thought.

I like that. Doing your own thing and letting her tag along. I'll have to try that sometime.

It's awesome. It works. Probably some of the best advice I ever got about dealing with women.

Wasn't that from David D? I love using that... Also the whole, Hey I'm busy Wednesday and Friday but I'll be free Thursday. Or hey next weekend I'm going to the festival downtown, you should tag along.

I honestly don't remember who I got it from. But I always try to remember to "check my calendar". Of course a lot of times, I really do need to check it, since I sometimes am juggling several photoshoots at a time in planning, along with plans to get together with friends and such. But a busy man is a desirable man. I never say "you should tag along", though, as that could be taken as degrading or insulting. I always say it along the lines of "you're welcome to join me if you like."

[Ryan]

Another thing you can do is this. Casually say, "Hey, I am going to [do XYZ], wanna come with?" This frames your "Let's go out" in such a way that her saying no is meaningless, because you were going regardless. Just food for thought.

I like that. Doing your own thing and letting her tag along. I'll have to try that sometime.

It's awesome. It works. Probably some of the best advice I ever got about dealing with women.

Wasn't that from David D? I love using that... Also the whole, Hey I'm busy Wednesday and Friday but I'll be free Thursday. Or hey next weekend I'm going to the festival downtown, you should tag along.

I honestly don't remember who I got it from. But I always try to remember to "check my calendar". Of course a lot of times, I really do need to check it, since I sometimes am juggling several photoshoots at a time in planning, along with plans to get together with friends and such. But a busy man is a desirable man. I never say "you should tag along", though, as that could be taken as degrading or insulting. I always say it along the lines of "you're welcome to join me if you like."

I like, "You're welcome to join me if you like"... I'd rather use that over "Wanna come with?" because it may give her a reason to say no by asking a direct question. Instead, "You're welcome to join me if you like", puts it into her head that it would be great for her to join but there is no pressure because you don't care whether or not she says yes or no. It just seems more comforting in that regard. And I've read that you should never directly give a woman a simple choice of yes or no... Because that just gives her more chance to say no.

[Shannon]

I like that. Doing your own thing and letting her tag along. I'll have to try that sometime.

It's awesome. It works. Probably some of the best advice I ever got about dealing with women.

Wasn't that from David D? I love using that... Also the whole, Hey I'm busy Wednesday and Friday but I'll be free Thursday. Or hey next weekend I'm going to the festival downtown, you should tag along.

I honestly don't remember who I got it from. But I always try to remember to "check my calendar". Of course a lot of times, I really do need to check it, since I sometimes am juggling several photoshoots at a time in planning, along with plans to get together with friends and such. But a busy man is a desirable man. I never say "you should tag along", though, as that could be taken as degrading or insulting. I always say it along the lines of "you're welcome to join me if you like."

I like, "You're welcome to join me if you like"... I'd rather use that over "Wanna come with?" because it may give her a reason to say no by asking a direct question. Instead, "You're welcome to join me if you like", puts it into her head that it would be great for her to join but there is no pressure because you don't care whether or not she says yes or no. It just seems more comforting in that regard. And I've read that you should never directly give a woman a simple choice of yes or no... Because that just gives her more chance to say no.

"Wanna come with?" was not really intended to be used. It was intended to give an idea of the direction to go in. But you're right on both counts.

[mat422]

I like, "You're welcome to join me if you like"... I'd rather use that over "Wanna come with?" because it may give her a reason to say no by asking a direct question. Instead, "You're welcome to join me if you like", puts it into her head that it would be great for her to join but there is no pressure because you don't care whether or not she says yes or no. It just seems more comforting in that regard. And I've read that you should never directly give a woman a simple choice of yes or no... Because that just gives her more chance to say no.

Of course after finishing alpha we really shouldn't even care about a woman saying no to us. But for the time being that sounds like a good thing to keep in mind. I feel like the more I internalize this alpha mindset the less I need women in my life so I'm more free to do whatever I please.

[Spiritman]

I wanted to thank all you guys for the suggestions. I will keep you guys posted when something happens. In the meantime, I have been reading the e-book How To Become An Alpha Male by John Alexander. Stuff he talked about in the book I remembered from David D's information, but he also expanded on a lot of other things. For now I am just going to take it one step at a time and not try to focus too much on it. Instead allow things to happen, the way they're supposed to, which will take a lot of pressure off of me.

[Jeff]

"You are welcome to join me," I like that best. Better than my old one, "You can come with me if you want." The first has more flow and comes off more inviting. Eh, teasing her like your little sister works like a charm on some and puts others off. Flirting is truly an art. Make sure you are in a decent to great mood or you might come off strange. Complimenting a woman's shoes or eyes I find is best, they hardly go anywhere without either lol Don't sweat too much over it is my best advice which you found out quick If you want her, she is yours for the taking. I wish you good luck!

[Spiritman]

Thanks guys. So far, there hasn't been any good time to make any moves with her yet. I wanted to give some background on what has been happening to me, since I have been working at my current job. I am 28 only about 5'3, and I have been told I look about 18-22. Because of those two things from what I have been told by a few individuals. People don't seem to have any respect for me. They see me as a little kid. Well, today it just really got to me when someone did something. I went off on them in a way, not to the point of losing my cool. I did raise my voice at them, but I made it very clear to them that I was upset and didn't appreciate what they did.


In addition, I was surprised that I didn't shake or tremble when I raised my voice and made my point clear. I am hoping in the later stages of the AM, it will give me more confidence for myself and get respect from other people. Or at least get to the point where I don't care what the hell other people think about me, because I am quite frankly getting pissed off with how people are playing their childish game. Showing no respect and think they can do and say whatever they want without anything happening.

[Spiritman]

Today I saw her as we were walking by each other. As we passed each other, we both said hi. We looked at each other when we said hi. However, since we were in a hallway we couldn't look at each other for very long. Right after we said hi, I looked back at her face. When I did, she was looking down like she didn't want to look up. I am not sure if that means anything, it was just a small observation I noticed.

[Spiritman]

I was talking with a guy at work today. He has noticed that my shoulders are more arched back. They're not slouching but are more up, firm and confident. So, I thought that was an interesting observation that he made. I will be waiting to see what happens in stage 3 that I start on the 21.

[Spiritman]

Shannon, I have a week before I start stage 3 of AM. Since the 12, I have the urge to want to get started on stage 3. Is it normal a week before you start the next stage to want to move on even though you know it is not time yet? Thanks

[Shannon]

Shannon, I have a week before I start stage 3 of AM. Since the 12, I have the urge to want to get started on stage 3. Is it normal a week before you start the next stage to want to move on even though you know it is not time yet? Thanks

Yes. I get that too. I wanted to start Stage 5 a week before I should have, but I forced myself to do it right. Started Stage 5 on the 20th instead.

[ronatello]

My line of thinking is... when one is experiencing a very positive response to the subs, one is thinking "well this stage is awesome and I wonder what the next stage will bring?" It's kinda like an impatient thing or something.
On the other side of the coin, when one assumes nothing is happening ( a neutral response) or negative, one would also want to jump to the next stage, especially when others are reporting positive things on the next stage up eg. you're on stage 2 and others are on stages 3 and 4 and reporting awesome stuff.
It all boils down to the "I WANT IT NOW!!" line of thinking. And I can be just as guilty of that as anybody else.
Just hang in there and like Shannon said, do it right.

[K-Train]

My line of thinking is... when one is experiencing a very positive response to the subs, one is thinking "well this stage is awesome and I wonder what the next stage will bring?" It's kinda like an impatient thing or something.
On the other side of the coin, when one assumes nothing is happening ( a neutral response) or negative, one would also want to jump to the next stage, especially when others are reporting positive things on the next stage up eg. you're on stage 2 and others are on stages 3 and 4 and reporting awesome stuff.
It all boils down to the "I WANT IT NOW!!" line of thinking. And I can be just as guilty of that as anybody else.
Just hang in there and like Shannon said, do it right.

I agree with this. And that's why I think maybe it would be more beneficial if members avoided reading the journals of others who are further along in the set than they are. I remember I was ANXIOUS to get to Stage 5 of the Alpha Set because stage 4 was brutal and because of the positive things I'd heard about that stage.