Some Kind of Journal - Random Thoughts

[Shannon]

If all you have ever known was fear, them removing the fear requires you to re-evaluate and recreate all of your beliefs from the ground up.  It's not suicide at all, it's an irrational and afraid part of yourself not comprehending that it can become something completely different and still exist and be even safer, healthier and happier than before.

Fear is a response that tends to self generate and re-generate because fear results in thinking and beliefs that lead to more fear.  So your response makes perfect sense if all you've ever known is fear.  You have come to believe that you ARE that fear, when in fact the fear is no more "you" than everything else that you experience, without actually being.  It is this misunderstanding that generates the fear of death, because in that case change away from fear seems to threaten you with "no identity", which is unknown and incomprehensible and therefore equated with the only other thing that is unknown and incomprehensible - death.  The truth is, you have an identity based on what you believe, and your identity automatically and naturally adjusts when you change what you believe.  There is no "death" or "threat".  It's impossible for you to "lose your identity" by changing your beliefs, and there is no way that "changing your beliefs" can result in any part of you dying unless your beliefs directly dictate self destruction.  Nothing in any of my subliminals is even negative, never mind dictating destruction, and especially not self destruction!

In fact you are changing your beliefs all the time, at the conscious level, which is how and why conscious understanding and desires can and do eventually change to differ from subconscious understanding and desires.  If you did not have this very difference between conscious and subconscious understanding and desires, you would not be attempting at a conscious level to make any changes, in fact, which only goes to prove what I am saying is true.

So you are reacting very negatively to USLM4 because it works, and the configuration you are using is basically going straight to the most core and fearful part of you immediately (masked format), which triggers the most fear and is at the same time the least powerful way to introduce the instruction set, meaning the fear has overridden the script's ability to deal with it because the usage format is not strong enough.  That is precisely why we have masked, ultrasonic and hybrid formats.

Furthermore, USLM4 is a HUGE jump in power and ability from USLM3, and that is why it has such an odd ASRB2.  You can't assume that just because masked format was best in the past, that it will still be the best choice for you!  You have to try things until you find what works best for you.  So go try ultrasonic format at a moderate volume and see how that works for you.

Also, I strongly recommend that you try to play the loops starting at least an hour after you fall asleep.

I can try it with the US track, but wouldn't be the better approach be E3 in this case? The subs should be very similar in terms of power, aren't they? With exception of the tuning of ME I mean.

LTU5 and E3 are miles apart in terms of how the ME is tuned.  Just having the completed ME doesn't mean everything is equally powerful.  E3 needs to be tuned a LOT less powerfully than LTU5 to accomplish its goals.  And LTU5 is tuned a LOT less powerfully than USLM4.  All three have the completed ME, but they all use different power levels because that is what best accomplishes their particular focus and goals.  It's SOPS, remember.  Not "one size fits all".  The Magnus Engine can be tuned to any level of power, from way too weak to work, to far too strong to be useful, and that is true because every goal has a different optimal power level.  This allows me to fine-tune it to whatever is best for that specific script and set of instructions.

E3 is certainly a valid option.  It is a good option, too, but I don't like recommending programs to help deal with the resistance of other programs for two reasons:

1. It makes me look like I'm trying to up-sell, when I'm not, and
2. The original program can do the job, if configured properly and given the chance.

I recommend trying the ultrasonic and possibly hybrid formats before you go spending money on E3, unless you already happen to have it.

[THolt]

If all you have ever known was fear, them removing the fear requires you to re-evaluate and recreate all of your beliefs from the ground up.  It's not suicide at all, it's an irrational and afraid part of yourself not comprehending that it can become something completely different and still exist and be even safer, healthier and happier than before.

Fear is a response that tends to self generate and re-generate because fear results in thinking and beliefs that lead to more fear.  So your response makes perfect sense if all you've ever known is fear.  You have come to believe that you ARE that fear, when in fact the fear is no more "you" than everything else that you experience, without actually being.  It is this misunderstanding that generates the fear of death, because in that case change away from fear seems to threaten you with "no identity", which is unknown and incomprehensible and therefore equated with the only other thing that is unknown and incomprehensible - death.  The truth is, you have an identity based on what you believe, and your identity automatically and naturally adjusts when you change what you believe.  There is no "death" or "threat".  It's impossible for you to "lose your identity" by changing your beliefs, and there is no way that "changing your beliefs" can result in any part of you dying unless your beliefs directly dictate self destruction.  Nothing in any of my subliminals is even negative, never mind dictating destruction, and especially not self destruction!

In fact you are changing your beliefs all the time, at the conscious level, which is how and why conscious understanding and desires can and do eventually change to differ from subconscious understanding and desires.  If you did not have this very difference between conscious and subconscious understanding and desires, you would not be attempting at a conscious level to make any changes, in fact, which only goes to prove what I am saying is true.

So you are reacting very negatively to USLM4 because it works, and the configuration you are using is basically going straight to the most core and fearful part of you immediately (masked format), which triggers the most fear and is at the same time the least powerful way to introduce the instruction set, meaning the fear has overridden the script's ability to deal with it because the usage format is not strong enough.  That is precisely why we have masked, ultrasonic and hybrid formats.

Furthermore, USLM4 is a HUGE jump in power and ability from USLM3, and that is why it has such an odd ASRB2.  You can't assume that just because masked format was best in the past, that it will still be the best choice for you!  You have to try things until you find what works best for you.  So go try ultrasonic format at a moderate volume and see how that works for you.

Also, I strongly recommend that you try to play the loops starting at least an hour after you fall asleep.

I can try it with the US track, but wouldn't be the better approach be E3 in this case? The subs should be very similar in terms of power, aren't they? With exception of the tuning of ME I mean.

LTU5 and E3 are miles apart in terms of how the ME is tuned.  Just having the completed ME doesn't mean everything is equally powerful.  E3 needs to be tuned a LOT less powerfully than LTU5 to accomplish its goals.  And LTU5 is tuned a LOT less powerfully than USLM4.  All three have the completed ME, but they all use different power levels because that is what best accomplishes their particular focus and goals.  It's SOPS, remember.  Not "one size fits all".  The Magnus Engine can be tuned to any level of power, from way too weak to work, to far too strong to be useful, and that is true because every goal has a different optimal power level.  This allows me to fine-tune it to whatever is best for that specific script and set of instructions.

E3 is certainly a valid option.  It is a good option, too, but I don't like recommending programs to help deal with the resistance of other programs for two reasons:

1. It makes me look like I'm trying to up-sell, when I'm not, and
2. The original program can do the job, if configured properly and given the chance.

I recommend trying the ultrasonic and possibly hybrid formats before you go spending money on E3, unless you already happen to have it.

E3 is a very good program. I have run it for one month. I feel like running E3 for a couple months will sufficiently prepare for running USLM4. Who knows, I may run E3 longer but I like the way I feel on it aside from some hunger pangs and what not.

[Shawn]

LTU5 and E3 are miles apart in terms of how the ME is tuned.  Just having the completed ME doesn't mean everything is equally powerful.  E3 needs to be tuned a LOT less powerfully than LTU5 to accomplish its goals.  And LTU5 is tuned a LOT less powerfully than USLM4.  All three have the completed ME, but they all use different power levels because that is what best accomplishes their particular focus and goals.  It's SOPS, remember.  Not "one size fits all".  The Magnus Engine can be tuned to any level of power, from way too weak to work, to far too strong to be useful, and that is true because every goal has a different optimal power level.  This allows me to fine-tune it to whatever is best for that specific script and set of instructions.

E3 is certainly a valid option.  It is a good option, too, but I don't like recommending programs to help deal with the resistance of other programs for two reasons:

1. It makes me look like I'm trying to up-sell, when I'm not, and
2. The original program can do the job, if configured properly and given the chance.

I recommend trying the ultrasonic and possibly hybrid formats before you go spending money on E3, unless you already happen to have it.

Ok, thanks. Not, I didn't purchase E3 until now so I think I will try the ultrasonic track.

One more question. I have had a very good intuition almost all my life long and if I would have listened more often on my intuition than my mind I would have made much better decisions many times. It is just after I started the DMSI journey back there I wasn't sure anymore if it is intuition or resistance. How can I distinguish intuition and fear/resistance better? The question just came up when I had your tarot book in my hands where you said that you should never ignore the gut feeling. Even if I know this was related to tarot.

[Shawn]

E3 is a very good program. I have run it for one month. I feel like running E3 for a couple months will sufficiently prepare for running USLM4. Who knows, I may run E3 longer but I like the way I feel on it aside from some hunger pangs and what not.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

[THolt]

E3 is a very good program. I have run it for one month. I feel like running E3 for a couple months will sufficiently prepare for running USLM4. Who knows, I may run E3 longer but I like the way I feel on it aside from some hunger pangs and what not.

Thanks for sharing your experience.

You're welcome. Its ironic that you were thinking of switching to E3 and I am thinking switching to USLM4 in the near future.

[Shawn]

Now I had another situation where I don't know it is resistance or intuition? I wanted to download the ultrasonic track of USLMv4 but instead I got the ultrasonic of USLMv1 A, then I downloaded the right track but put it accidentally in the USLM3 folder. And before, after my tarot reading there were some things pointed me to more information about my result from the tarot question regarding USLM3 (even if the reading indicated a better overall result from v4). It's still strange, but it is resistance or intuition or something leading me to the slower way for another good or bad reason. I don't know....

[Shawn]

I wanted to wait longer but today I was somehow curious how I could handle the ultrasonic track so I decided at least to finish the loop I started a week before with the masked track, just as the ultrasonic track. I did get a little bit of panic in the first few minutes and then once during the day, but other than that it seemed to work smoothly. Most things I did today went also well, but this doesn't need to mean anything as they were no special things. But it looks like something is hit deeply withhin because I needed to think a lot about the past. Not the recent past, which was usually the case, but the time when I was a young adult, something I didn't need to thing about for a long time. It is about the goals and dreams I had at that time and how they failed to become true, which is somehow painful. I also realized that deep withhin I feel like I have already given up on anything a very long time ago, like nothing matters. Maybe because I failed so many times with so many things which were important to me. It's not like I don't want anything anymore, it's just the desire, the fuel which drives you to do something, it's gone, I feel emtpy and indifferent about anything on a deep level. Not sure what more to write now.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Well, as Shannon said, you only fail if you quit. With these subs and the "becoming" method, a lot of doors are open now. Makes me look forward to the future!

[Shawn]

This is something from my offline journal I wanted already to post for more than a week, but for some reason I didn't get to:

I wanted more insights as goal why I have such difficulties with executing subliminals and I got an interesting insight. It is like there is a part of my subconscious which is very old and which sees suffering as something good and desireable, which prooves your value. It seems to be based on some sayings like "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and similar. It happened at a time where there was no real understanding of these sayings, maybe just more something like black or white sort of basic understanding. And the willingness to follow this concept is simply based on love, pure and innocent unconditional love like only a small child has and the unconditional commitment to the people who introduced that concept. This is simply to "be a good child" and "get love" and "make everything good". This is also an interesting insight because the "doing something for someone out of love" idea is pretty much what the family constellation therapy concept is telling what often happens. However, the question is how to make an adjustment here? Pure logic won't work because this part is still existing at the very young age where logical concepts can't be either be understood or simply don't mattter because everything what counts is the love to the given people and to be a "good child", which can be only reached by following the (faulty) belief, because it couldn't know and understand better than that. I had the one or other idea what to do here but every idea seem to be somehow incomplete, so I don't know.

This could also explain the different reactions for subs with different levels of power. Previous generations subs might not have gone that deep and interact with the more superficial part of subconscious, the more powerful ones might go really deep and therefore create different results - in good or bad. Another problem here could be that the deep part is indeed trying to execute (which would create opposite results as intended) but other parts, like the one which is always intended to keep you safe, prevents that because suffering is not safe at all.


That was it. I only did 3 loops of this sub at all but recently (after finished the last loop with ultrasonic) I noticed few (little) things in my life shifted which were unlinkely to shift at all. I think this version is indeed powerful with the right usage patter. However, the lack of sleep is really killing me and turns me into a zombie, that's why I didn't run any more loops until now. If not the permanent lack of sleep I could slowly get used to the sub and also get results, maybe even very powerful stuff.

[Shawn]

I didn't post for some time because shortly after my last post I stopped. I tried USLM3 a bit later but the exhaustion was too much so I stopped completely. However, after nothing seemed to improve that much and I even had hard time with simply things like following a coversation I tried to do something about it and I found out that I have some serious deficits of nutrients as well as accumulations of heavy metals in my body. It's very likely that the deficits made my recent reaction to subs that bad as it was because there weren't any ressources left to process it properly. Things like overriding the state probably just caused accelerated depletion, at least if it is also overriding the effects of toxins in the body. What I am trying to say, there are still possible factors other than fear which can have negative effects on execution. We have been just focussing on fear until now and ignored other factors. But ignoring that is like when people with rare diseases go to doctor and the doctor just says "Oh, it's all mental" because the standard tests fail to find something. NOT saying here fear is not a problem, just saying that it's most likely not the only piece of puzzle, even if it might be a very big one.

Other than that I was thinking about my last DMSI run (3.3.1) and about the fact that there was often the situation when I was close to a girls and noticed some feeling of attraction on her side which caused some initial arousement and then - in opposite to previous versions - it was just shut down and left some creepy vibe because on the one side there seemed to be at least some feeling of attraction but on the other side it was suppressed. After thinking a lot about that I realized that all the attraction I felt on past version of DMSI while being close to a women, noticing how aroused she is was a way of escape for me. First, because it felt so good to stay in that emotion and it was somehow "enough", and second it was like "Now, I know she wants me so we can stop here". It's on the one side some kind of validation, which I never had for a very long time in my life (until AM6) and it is also some kind of powerful feeling to know that my presence can arouse her. And that seems to be more important to me at some level than actually having sex with her. At least I notice a much greater emotional charge than with sex itself. In addition there seem to be some resentful parts which dislikes the idea of giving her the pleasure she is longing for because in the past no woman cared to release my "suffering" and that part of me would rather let her drown in her wetness than giving her what she wants. So how I see it as long I cannot overcome the past of not having any success with women and all the resentment about that I won't probably go anywhere with DMSI.

Saying that it looks like one of the anti-escape modules closed a possible escape. So while it sounds good there are two problems with that. First, the mix of feeling the attraction and shutting it down at the same time seemed to give me a very creepy vibe in the last version, which is even understandable as I was probably projecting two opposite things at the same time. Second, the arousement and all the feelings of attraction are essential to me to have a motivation towards the goals of DMSI itself. No feelings --> no motivation and interest in sex. This might be a bit different for people who are not that much into their emotions but for people who are very emotion based this is very noticeable. I remember, I wrote a post about another member who said that fantasizing about women and sex was like fuel for him and now on 3.3.1 it's no present anymore and Shannon just said that he is just lying to himself that this is motivation for him if DMSI did shut it down as escape. Now, I cannot speak about someone else, but for me it is indeed essential to have all of these feelings, fantasies and everything else because these things make me want to have sex at all and increase my interest in sex and women while not having this shuts it down, it's not lying to myself. Thinking alone doesn't give me much of motivation for that, the feelings do. Yes, I know, these modules can close escapes but at the same time they seem to close anything for me if the emotions get shut down.

Now, I feel somehow frustrated writing it because I already wrote some critical posts about the anti-escape-modules and all the wall and it would be reasonable if some people think I just have some agenda or something but at the same time I feel like all these concerns were never taken seriously, maybe I just feel this way, idk, so I just want that  these things are considered as a possible problem. Thank you very much.

[Shannon]

The ASS/ART is designed to close escape routes. It does not activate if it's not an escape route. Therefore if you have it shut down your fantasies, that's because you were lying to yourself and using it as an escape route.

As for there being other things than fear, let's deal with fear and see what remains. Otherwise we are just making assumptions. Especially since the override of state shifting only applies to drugs.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

What are ASS/ART?

[Shawn]

The ASS/ART is designed to close escape routes. It does not activate if it's not an escape route.  Therefore if you have it shut down your fantasies, that's because you were lying to yourself and using it as an escape route.

I don't know how to make it more clear than that, but if you prevent everything what creates the desire to have sex then having sex as goal is somehow pointless. Anyway, I stop that here.


@EvolvingPhoenix : Anti self sabotage/Anti resistance module

[EvolvingPhoenix]

The ASS/ART is designed to close escape routes. It does not activate if it's not an escape route.  Therefore if you have it shut down your fantasies, that's because you were lying to yourself and using it as an escape route.

I don't know how to make it more clear than that, but if you prevent everything what creates the desire to have sex then having sex as goal is somehow pointless. Anyway, I stop that here.


@EvolvingPhoenix : Anti self sabotage/Anti resistance module

Gotcha. Thanks.