Soaring Higher Journal

[Soaring]

I would like to go back to Peru within the next few years and go deeper with Ayahuasca.

What keeps coming up for me is that I have a little feeling I should just forget about women for a few years and just work on my self only.

I would love a partner that would want to go with me and experience the astonishing and profound Ayahuasca.

I am spirtual in this way and would love a girl that was into the same things like me. Not a typical airhead, superfical, materialistic, one level, shallow in thought girl/woman.

I need philosophical stimulation in a relationship.

I definitely believe there is a girl out there that is compatible with me but she is most likely in the 1% or so female population, mainly because I myself feel like a rare breed.

[Soaring]

Well I could not get onto another college course and will have to apply for next September, which is a huge bummer

I was speaking to 3 nice girls on eHarmony, all below 5ft''5, I logged on this morning and I was ''cleaning'' up my dash board and I thought I was just 'hiding' my matches, but I must of blocked them all. Which is so f*cking funny now I think of it because I cannot get them back haha. Oh man live and learn right.

I keep changing my match settings, I keep being unsure of distance and women with kids or no kids.

At the moment my age range is 18-40, my distance is 60 miles radius. And I put I could accept females with kids. I have changed it a few times but I think I keep it as it is, you never know right.

My standards are so high, this seems quite challenging for an INTP like myself, just reading my profile which is really honest and genuine, I will weed out a lot of females that are not compatible for me, which is good. But I can really get the impression that my girl is like in the 3% of the population of my country or something. She's out there somewhere, maybe hiding in her room getting high reading about aliens and looking out the window star gazing and sh*t haha. Hopefully she joins eHarmony.

I think I might go light up a doobie and go ponder my life and sh*t, because I don't like the thought of having to wait until next September to continue college, I am not blaming anyone, I take full responsibility, I just did not know, what I did not know, could not do anything about that.

[Soaring]

Feeling pretty bored on these subs. I am thinking of working with more emotional methods like visualisation.

I think emotions is where it's at, worked for me before, soooooo much faster and fun! too.

I will give it a go for a few weeks and see how my results change.

[Soaring]

What I am learning is that there is a lot of stuck up, materialistic, shallow, dumb ass female gold diggers online.... Then I come across a genuine nice girl, that genuinely puts the effort it, it feels amazing and makes me appreciate the actual type of women I like, on a whole other level.

[apollolux]

Then I come across a genuine nice girl, that genuinely puts the effort it, it feels amazing and makes me appreciate the actual type of women I like, on a whole other level.

Is it the girl in your avatar?

[Soaring]

No apollolux.

After careful and fearful consideration, I have decided to begin OF. I feel that it is best for me at this present moment in time. I would love to be able to run it for 6 months, I am just going to say I will run it as long as I possible can.

I was considering AM6, but I do not think I am no position to start it and have it go successfully, well at least not releasing lots of fears buried deep within my psyche FIRST. I am nervous just thinking about what is down there!

[4Kingdoms]

After careful and fearful consideration, I have decided to begin OF. I feel that it is best for me at this present moment in time. I would love to be able to run it for 6 months, I am just going to say I will run it as long as I possible can.

Okay, I understand the need to switch subliminals because... I have done it myself.

Will you be running Overcoming Fear by itself? http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/overcoming-fear/

Did you get results from running Overcome Procrastination? http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/o...stination/

Will you continue to listen to Attract Your Perfect Petite Female Romantic Lover? http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/a...tic-lover/

[Soaring]

I will be running Overcome Fear on it's own.

I think it's best to run one sub which allows more hours of exposure.

I did not notice anything with OP

[Soaring]

Scary ass dreams the first night running Overcome Fear!!! ....this is going to be an interesting ride.

[Natious]

No apollolux.

After careful and fearful consideration, I have decided to begin OF. I feel that it is best for me at this present moment in time. I would love to be able to run it for 6 months, I am just going to say I will run it as long as I possible can.

I was considering AM6, but I do not think I am no position to start it and have it go successfully, well at least not releasing lots of fears buried deep within my psyche FIRST. I am nervous just thinking about what is down there!

Don't worry, the fears won't all surface at once. That would be hell. I'm around 4,5 months in and the resistance I've experienced has always been around only a few fears that relate to each other. Helps a lot if you learn how to empty your head instantly and relax through breathing.

Good luck with the run bro!

[Soaring]

I got a girls number from eHarmony that I have been messaging back and fourth for the last 3 days. I have a strong feeling she might be from me running the AYPPRL. She matches me on many levels. I wont say too much more as I do not want to get my hopes up.

I pretty much just got of the phone with her. I was shitting myself before ringing her, I have to be honest, I felt so much anxiety it was crazy, it took me about an hour to just just press the button to ring her.

I was alright once I started speaking to her, I feel the conversation was ok, but now really not sure. I was speaking to her for 30 mins.

Near the end she asked me if I live alone and I said no I live with my parents, I said I work for my dads business which is where I live and the ease for me if I want to just get up and go traveling.

She then tells me she has lived alone for 6 years in a flat. She did mention it is hard to just get up and go when you are renting. She said she would save up the last rent and use it to go traveling.

Little while after, she said she had to go because she had a bath ready and it was nice talking to me and said I will speak to you...(pause) ..at some point?.... It felt like a question, but I don't know. I just said yeah and it was nice speaking to you too and have a good night.

Now it made me realize how long I have not done this (Cold called a girl from emails) Which is 6 years, as I was in a long term relationship.

I am just going to do nothing and see if she texts me in the next few days or something. Let her soak in the bath and think about me lol.

[4Kingdoms]

I got a girls number from eHarmony that I have been messaging back and fourth for the last 3 days. I have a strong feeling she might be from me running the AYPPRL. She matches me on many levels. I wont say too much more as I do not want to get my hopes up.

I pretty much just got of the phone with her. I was shitting myself before ringing her, I have to be honest, I felt so much anxiety it was crazy, it took me about an hour to just just press the button to ring her.

The subliminal messages from listening to 'Attract Your Perfect Petite Female Romantic Lover' http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/a...tic-lover/ are still being processed by your subconscious mind. Remember, manifestation is a process and a big part of the law of attraction is letting go. You stopped listening, therefore... you let go of the outcome and sounds like she has appeared!!! Some would argue that you cheated by taking action and joining eHarmony. I believe, the subliminal gave you instructions to focus your mind like a laser beam and you took the necessary action to get the results you desire.

Edit: Soaring, I think you are aware that Ricardo and I are listening to the same sub. He gave me really great advice, I believe will benefit you too!
"My advice is to be patient but open to new experiences and people"

Good thing you are currently listening to 'Overcoming Fear 1.1' http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/overcoming-fear/ Is the anxiety you experienced while you were making the phone call something you felt before once you started listening to OF 1.1??? Just wondering if it was because of calling her or a process you go through from listening to OF 1.1?

[Soaring]

Yeah I am feeling different things with OF, it is hard to pinpoint exactly what at times, but one thing I feel is an inner power that feels like it is growing gradually. I feel a bit aloof too. I have been more on my own and not wanting to speak or interact with people.

I feel that it is possible the OF could of exaggerated my anxiety even more, but I also feel that it was excitement too, which could of made it more powerful.

"My advice is to be patient but open to new experiences and people"

Yeah that is some good advice there. I am aware of it and I will do my best to keep myself busy and thinking of other things, even though challenging at times.

I have been on and off with the strength training, but I have decided I am going to go back to body weight training, what I use to do years ago. Just to mix it up and do something different for a change. I get bored easily.

I have had some very interesting dreams. Luckily they are not scary ones every night. The night before last I had a dream I was sitting and waiting outside a barbers to have my haircut and a woman next to me started flirting with me and touching me, she was very wet and I ended up having sex with her, literally. It was sooo real.

I gotta do some cleaning today and I am thinking of going out and getting my haircut, haha ...not because of the dream though!

[Soaring]

Well, I text that girl the other day and said I will call her at 8pm tonight and she said that is good with her.

Well I called her tonight and she didn't pick up. So I waited a little while and text her and asked her if she is still good to talk and about 25 mins later she said ''Hey sorry I must of falling asleep in bed with flu, how are you?''

I didn't believe her lol. She ended up saying little tough to speak over the phone right now, happy to text and speak another day.

I was going to ask her if she had plans Saturday to meet, so I just asked her over text, because my idea consisted of me buying tickets this night. Any way she had plans helping family with party for Halloween and asked what my idea was. And that was it.

Something really annoys me about this. What comes to mind is, I really can't be bothered to get to know a girl online again, it takes up so much time. For what?

Now, I could be just making a big deal out of nothing and she could be telling the truth, what do I know?. But I just don't like to be messed around, I would rather a girl just say I am not interested and that is it.

On the side OF, I have been having soo much anxiety, and I have been training everyday, just to forget about the anxiety that I feel, it is really crazy. I would be in my room and feel strong anxiety and then I was just dropped to the floor and do press ups to feel the pain, so I can foget about the anxiety.

I have been doing eft too, but that seems to only help calm me a notch, or at least just take my mind of it a little bit, while I am doing the tapping.

I feel really strange, that is for sure.

I am really pissed of about that girl though, I just don't like people messing me around. They think I am stupid or something? ...I hope I am wrong, but from this point onward...no ones can fuck with me.