DMSI 3.2 A Day 5
Hey guys! Been a minute. So as you can see I switched it up to try out version A this time around, and man, I have been on quite the roller coaster ride lately.
It seemed like right after the first listen on day one my anxiety levels rose. It has been that way ever since. Some strong negative thoughts and emotions coming up here and there.
This is mostly when I am home to myself however. When I am out around people and girls I have started to get more in the moment and relaxed again lately. Like with my attractive client this past week, she showed the most signs of attractiveness towards me that I probably have ever experienced. Like minus actual kissing or erotic touching pretty much the vibe we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Then tonight I went out to see my friends at a bar for a bit. One of my friends gfs was showing a lot of signs of being attracted to me. Like playing with her hair, throwing her hair to the other side exposing he neck to me, and looking at me and giggling a lot. This is also probably the most sign of attraction I have gotten from her as well.
I was also back into the state I experienced the first week into B where I just felt a lot more in the moment and out of my head than usual. The weird thing was prior to going out I was having a LOT of anxiety building up in me then BOOM as soon as im out at the bar it was gone.
On another note I think things are done with me and kinky girl. So in my last post I talked about how she didn't respond to my last text I sent out about letting me know if she wanted to hang after her party. Well Since then i haven't heard anything from her besides her liking one of my fb posts. So I hit her up earlier tonight and asked if she wanted to hang out. She said she looked like trash and had her hair was up(she knows i like it when her hair is down and shes all prettied up) So I said "if you pretty uo for me real quick Ill come give you a visit
". To which she replied "not happening", ssomething something excuse. Im like "lol well then..." To which she freaks out saying its rude that I only want to see her when shes decent looking yada yada. I stay calm and say "im sorry if i made you feel bad, that wasnt my intention. I think youre cute either way, I just like the prettied up look, thats all." Which then sends her on another tangent about how she hates wearing make up, likes wearing her hair down being in hoodies ect ect and if i cant accept her like that then i dont deserve to see her at all. To which I replied "Fair enough" And then that was it. I wasnt going to explain myself anymore, I already said I thought she was cute either way and that was just my preference. I didn't think it was necessary for her to g off on some dramatic tangent.
I feel like even as just hooking up is concerned it might not be the best for me anymore. I know she has a troubled past and emotional issues . Her dad was never there for her and her last boyfriend was abusive. It seemed like once she saw that I was sticking to not drinking anymore and that I was dedicated to bettering my life that she wasnt as interested in hooking up and became hostile. I think she might think im too good for her and is more drawn to emotionally damaged individuals that dont know where they're going in life and don't treat her well, unfortunately. Kind of sad its ending even though we wernt technically dating and I told her I wasn't interested in that. I still cared about her as a person and we had a lot of fun times together. She was a sweet girl. Like I said though its probably for the best as we are on diverging paths in life. I wish her the best. I hope she learns to cope and get past some of her issues and finds a guy that treats her well.
Hey guys! Been a minute. So as you can see I switched it up to try out version A this time around, and man, I have been on quite the roller coaster ride lately.
It seemed like right after the first listen on day one my anxiety levels rose. It has been that way ever since. Some strong negative thoughts and emotions coming up here and there.
This is mostly when I am home to myself however. When I am out around people and girls I have started to get more in the moment and relaxed again lately. Like with my attractive client this past week, she showed the most signs of attractiveness towards me that I probably have ever experienced. Like minus actual kissing or erotic touching pretty much the vibe we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Then tonight I went out to see my friends at a bar for a bit. One of my friends gfs was showing a lot of signs of being attracted to me. Like playing with her hair, throwing her hair to the other side exposing he neck to me, and looking at me and giggling a lot. This is also probably the most sign of attraction I have gotten from her as well.
I was also back into the state I experienced the first week into B where I just felt a lot more in the moment and out of my head than usual. The weird thing was prior to going out I was having a LOT of anxiety building up in me then BOOM as soon as im out at the bar it was gone.
On another note I think things are done with me and kinky girl. So in my last post I talked about how she didn't respond to my last text I sent out about letting me know if she wanted to hang after her party. Well Since then i haven't heard anything from her besides her liking one of my fb posts. So I hit her up earlier tonight and asked if she wanted to hang out. She said she looked like trash and had her hair was up(she knows i like it when her hair is down and shes all prettied up) So I said "if you pretty uo for me real quick Ill come give you a visit
". To which she replied "not happening", ssomething something excuse. Im like "lol well then..." To which she freaks out saying its rude that I only want to see her when shes decent looking yada yada. I stay calm and say "im sorry if i made you feel bad, that wasnt my intention. I think youre cute either way, I just like the prettied up look, thats all." Which then sends her on another tangent about how she hates wearing make up, likes wearing her hair down being in hoodies ect ect and if i cant accept her like that then i dont deserve to see her at all. To which I replied "Fair enough" And then that was it. I wasnt going to explain myself anymore, I already said I thought she was cute either way and that was just my preference. I didn't think it was necessary for her to g off on some dramatic tangent. I feel like even as just hooking up is concerned it might not be the best for me anymore. I know she has a troubled past and emotional issues . Her dad was never there for her and her last boyfriend was abusive. It seemed like once she saw that I was sticking to not drinking anymore and that I was dedicated to bettering my life that she wasnt as interested in hooking up and became hostile. I think she might think im too good for her and is more drawn to emotionally damaged individuals that dont know where they're going in life and don't treat her well, unfortunately. Kind of sad its ending even though we wernt technically dating and I told her I wasn't interested in that. I still cared about her as a person and we had a lot of fun times together. She was a sweet girl. Like I said though its probably for the best as we are on diverging paths in life. I wish her the best. I hope she learns to cope and get past some of her issues and finds a guy that treats her well.
