Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 8

[Darwin]

Hey Shannon,

Thanks for coming back to doing something on self esteem. This is something I have wanted for a long time. I had a couple of suggestions for your consideration.

Self compassion. Most of the time self esteem and respect falters because we don’t have the skill of being compassionate to our mistakes, and we adopt inappropriate means of self soothing when the inevitable fuck ups happen. Being able to release that oxytocin, be forgiving to yourself helps to get back on the wagon. Embedding the skill of effective self soothing would be helpful.  

Self assertiveness. A big part of self respect is being faithful to your own soul. This means being able to say no and follow you consciousness. Failure to do this results in self betrayal and then breaks consciousness because you have to ignore more and more of what your inner self is saying. 

Finally there is consciousness itself. Being able to see and pay attention to what is. The reality, rather than the mental story. Having this, being able to trust your own mind feels like it’s the fundamental key that’s missing. Once you can trust your mind, forgive where you fall short, and then act on what you can clearly reason - pick up what to take responsibility for and be purposeful - that’s it. Self esteem unlocked. That’s what I want forever.

Just some thoughts. I’ve been struggling with this for as long as I can remember and I’m pretty tired of it. Feels like I’ve got no future at the moment because I just never get there - and often it’s my own inner critic which is killing my progress.

Peace.

I think you will appreciate what I've been working on. 

Thanks Shannon, great to see the post on goals as well. One thing I thought I’d shoot at you in case it’s not somewhere there is self responsibility - that sense that ‘no one is coming’ and it’s on me. It puts the centre of power within you and brings inner strength, and supports everything by giving you a sense of your own efficacy. Fundamentally, competence and a sense of how I have it and I am cultivating it daily is the power button that makes me ok with myself, being dependent on others for validation kills it - whilst having my own internal locus of responsibility and self satisfaction that I’m doing what I need to gives me strength