One thing I forgot. I once had a moment on AM6 where some clarity was shining through, I was completely aware and in the moment, like distant from past and future, only the moment exists, everything is going a little bit slower. I compare it with the matrix movies when Neo either was escaping bullets or was the first time seeing it in code. Of course that is not an exact metaphor for what I was experiencing, but it was a strange clarity I was feeling and only lasted for a short amount of time.
Why am I telling this? Yesterday I also had "that same clarity" and remembering that I have felt that before. I also read from others that OF is kind of like preparing or making AM shine through. Yes I became more bold in thoughts and actions. I was completely aware of my actions/non-actions and the results/non-results. I became aware of my decisions and lack thereof. It was also as if my past "comfort zone" was taken away, like my ships were burnt after I arrived at a new island and the only way is forward. So the feeling is like "even if you don't feel comfortable yet, there is no way going back, it was a fake comfort zone, welcome to your new reality".
With AM these moments have pushed me sometimes into depressive thoughts (I would not go as far as calling it depression), I hated the state I was in and didn't want to see it. Now I'm in a different place, there is still stuff I don't like but I have (and feel!) the strength inside me to change what I don't like, to confront myself with reality and to go into a new reality.
Edit: I dont't want to spam Shannon's journal discussion, just wanted to report some experiences and hear from Shannon if it is an "expected result" from OF or just some lucky coincidence.
Why am I telling this? Yesterday I also had "that same clarity" and remembering that I have felt that before. I also read from others that OF is kind of like preparing or making AM shine through. Yes I became more bold in thoughts and actions. I was completely aware of my actions/non-actions and the results/non-results. I became aware of my decisions and lack thereof. It was also as if my past "comfort zone" was taken away, like my ships were burnt after I arrived at a new island and the only way is forward. So the feeling is like "even if you don't feel comfortable yet, there is no way going back, it was a fake comfort zone, welcome to your new reality".
With AM these moments have pushed me sometimes into depressive thoughts (I would not go as far as calling it depression), I hated the state I was in and didn't want to see it. Now I'm in a different place, there is still stuff I don't like but I have (and feel!) the strength inside me to change what I don't like, to confront myself with reality and to go into a new reality.
Edit: I dont't want to spam Shannon's journal discussion, just wanted to report some experiences and hear from Shannon if it is an "expected result" from OF or just some lucky coincidence.
