SantaRich's Journal

[ronatello]

Another guy, a co-worker I was talking to was getting all pissy telling me I must be a horrible person because I don't have a girlfriend and that I should take what I can get, because I am ugly.

What a tool. Ignore him.
Whether or not if it was a joke, the comment was inappropriate. If you held your cool and didn't react too much, then you actually out alpha'd him

[Patti]

Another guy, a co-worker I was talking to was getting all pissy telling me I must be a horrible person because I don't have a girlfriend and that I should take what I can get, because I am ugly.

What a tool. Ignore him.
Whether or not if it was a joke, the comment was inappropriate. If you held your cool and didn't react too much, then you actually out alpha'd him

It never ceases to amaze me how ridiculous some people are! And how ironic is it, that this persons trying to say you're ugly, while showing HIS ugliness!

[SantaRich]

Not sure when I last updated, so here goes.

I started listening on the 1st, and six days in I read a thread that laptop computer speakers usually do not have a high enough fr to carry the subliminal, which is of course what I had been using for the six days.

But since then I put a copy of the stream, which I really like by the way, on cd and have been listening to that on my 10 yr old audiovox cd shelf system while I sleep.

I am starting to get some of my old feelings back from when I was doing certain energetic exercises. I am feeling indifferent, do not really care what happens or the consequences. It has been easier for me to go deeper into the more meditational aspects of one of my exercises. I actually did notice that I was walking a littler taller today on my way in to work.

So far there has been really no resistance that I can think of feeling. I am pretty sure alot of stuff has been cleared out from doing aforementioned exercises, I know stuff from when I was younger was cleared out, I remember that stuff, sucked at time but awesome afterward.

No resistance up until tonight. There is this girl who works at subway, I kind of know her, she used to work where I do, always thought she was cute and never forgot her, even though this was a few years ago. Anyway I go into subway one night after work a few weeks ago and there she is. So of course like an afc I start eating alot more subway. I would never kiss her....dairreare but I was feeling out the situation. So of course I find out tonight she has a boyfriend. So after I leave I start getting those negative feelings, you will never find someone special, there is no one out there for you, why would anyone like you, etc. etc. etc.

Probably does not help that it is now my birthday and I have no plans, no fun plans I should say for the day. 30 yrs old where does it go. Well can't be much worse than my 20's or much better, but hopefully they will be

Ohh, will probably ask this in shannon's journal, but should I add an extra six days to the 32, since I don't think I was getting exposure through my laptop speakers?

If I don't get any thoughts then I will ask shannon.

[Shannon]

Happy birthday, man!

I don't think you have to worry about the six days you used laptop speakers. If you were not hearing it crackle and sound like static, it was probably playing fine. You can try playing it super-loud and listening to the speaker closely. If it's playing properly, you'll start hearing speaker distortion at maximum volume that's like listening to people talk far away. It'll also probably give you a headache or make you nauseous if you listen too long at maximum volume.

Not every woman is going to be single. You can handle this two ways: go after her anyway, and risk having her leave you for someone else... or say screw it, and refuse to touch taken.

I personally am rather tired of being cheated on, so I'm more than a little uninterested in stealing someone else's female and having karma kick me in the nuts that way yet again. But don't be down on yourself. These things take time.

[woceyes]

Happy Birthday SantaRich

[ronatello]

Santarich: one thing that you need to do straight away is stop labeling yourself in a negative way. In example: afc. It will do nothing but reinforce negative beliefs. So what if you want to go and see the girl @ Subway? No problem and no worries. It's your business and nobody else. Just don't do it everyday! But every once in a while, I don't see a problem with it.
Stick with Alpha Male and by the time you reach towards the end of the program, you won't care if you have the hot girl or not. You will be living life on your terms (or making plans underway to begin).
I'm getting way more IOI's now than I used to (probably because now I'm more aware + I'm carrying myself much better than before + healthier mindset which will in turn create even more IOI's... you get the picture.).
Oh, and happy belated birthday!

[Roy]

Happy birthday Santarich

Like Ronatello said,you won't care at all at the end of the alpha set if you
get any woman.It will go away at some point.

Resistance is good actually,it's negative conditioning going away.

What kind of energetic exercises you do?

[Jeff]

Happy Birthday man! Remember stage one is the cleanser and laying the new foundation. You wouldn't want to put new foundation on top of bad foundation. A house built upon sand will crumble. A house built upon sand with a layer of concrete in between will only last for so long...

This stage has put me down several times, but hey I am happier now than I have been in a long time. Hell, I want a girl friend right now cause I am pretty busy, but there is no sense in rushing is there? We still have a whole year before 2012 lmao. I am on day 29 and dying to see what adventures lie behind stage 2! oh and nice Spaceballs quote by the way.

[Spiral]

Happy Belated Birthday Santa Rich!

[SantaRich]

Thank you to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday!

I ended up not doing too much. My sister and her husband and daughter came from Iowa to visit me. She rented a hotel room, my parents and brother and nieces came had some birthday cake and they played together, and everyone talked, so it was kind of nice.

I ended up going out for a little bit, now I usually do not go to bars or pool halls or anything like that, but I just felt like going out for a bit, so I did. Went to a local pool hall where I drank for free and played pool for free, because it was my birthday. So I will chalk that up to the sub, because I usually would have said, ahhh, I can always just go next year.

I have noticed a couple of things lately. The other day I felt a kind of pressure in my head, not painful or bad in any way, just a pressure. I believe it was when I was listening to the stream version, which I loop over and over again for the recommended 8 hours. Now I am not sure because the speakers are right above my head a few feet or if it is a more energetic thing.

Another thing is that I am starting to think about past events. How I responded, how I wish I would have responded, why I responded the way I did. I went through alot of the same thing when I had been doing the energetic work I had been doing.

@Shannon-thanks for the advice, I am also a believer in karma, which is why I would never try to break up or interfere in a relationship. By the way, I hope you are feeling better, I hope the hammer in the pants helped.

@Ronatello- thank you also for the advice. I agree with you to always think positive, but negativity sometimes pops in, not as in control of my monkey mind as I have been in the past. But don't worry, I observe them, respect them, and let them go. Actually, I try to have no thought at all.

@Roy- right now I am doing a form of qi gong called golden shield. It is a chinese energetic system that trains from the outside-in. At one point my training partner was actually hitting my stomach with a brick as hard as he could. In my past though I did some other qi gong practices that were more movement based, that involved static and dynamic elements, and that is what I was referring to, because the amount of growth I received from that was......unexplainable.

Another thing I have noticed is that it is easier for me to express the thoughts in my head, either verbally or even now as I am typing. Not quite as focused as I have been in the past, much more than recently though. I have always been very quiet, and not so much withdrawn, but apprehensive about expressing myself, my thoughts or feelings.

There is more I could write, but I might have to be at work in a few hours, time to get some sleep.

[SantaRich]

Well, I am feeling like I have hit my first bit of resistance. The last few days I have had different emotions, from being pissed off to feeling hopeless about some stuff. Right now I am starting to get a hair trigger and I kind of want to get into an argument, especially someone from work. There are a bunch of people at work I would like to say a thing or two too, but I usually do not, but I am getting to the point where I just don't care.

Rich

[Spiral]

Don't be a hater Santa! unless they start annoying you. speak your mind and let them know you need your space and don't mess with you. You can tell people off just by your presence and your eyes. Silent treatment is very VERY powerful I have found out.

Hang in there man.. the resistance is going to be part of the journey. It's worth it though.

[SantaRich]

Done with stage one, starting stage two tonight.

Recap for stage one. For the most part, did not feel that different. Nothing too dramatic happened. I am definitely starting to feel more focused. I have started doing an exercise that I have not done for years, that I always was telling myself to start up again, so that is AWESOME. Hopefully I can stick with it.

I think it was last week, I had to do something at work that I don't like doing and feel I should not have to. Anyway, the whole night I was just getting crap from everyone in the different work area. And believe me the silent treatment was not going to work to shut them up. I didn't freak out I just would answer back and try to focus on my work. That is when I was feeling like I had some resistance coming up. But I feel much better now.

The indifference or not caring about certain things is still there. It is a nice feeling, as I usually obsess on things.

Last night I stopped at a ice cream shop after work, and this chick who I have hung out with like maybe two times, years ago, was working, and I have seen her before there. But last night she re-introduced herself and asked if I have seen mutual acquaintance lately, which is what she asked me one time in the past. I kind of felt like she was trying to get a conversation started, but was kind of clumsy about it. Not sure, just what I felt.

And then tonight, mind you I was wearing two sprays of instant shine x2, went to dinner with my mom, and when I was paying the bill, a waitress walked in front of me and the cashier bar, which was like two or three feet away from me. It probably would have been easier for her to walk behind me, but I did not notice any ioi's.

Ohh, I have been really really tired the last few days. Mind you I have been double shifting, I work part-time, and that really screws up my schedule as one shift starts at 5 in the morning and my shift starts at pretty much 5 in the afternoon, working 4 to 4 and a half or 5 hrs each shift.

I have been feeling more relaxed lately as well.

Did you know the summerian language was one of the languages on the space probe sent to look for intelligent life in the universe. I l love the history channel.

[SantaRich]

I was thinking about the house I lived in when I was a child,the other day. I was thinking that it feels like a million years ago, or that it kind of happened in some other life. I also had a weird dream the other day. I dreamed of the scene in Rocky 4 when he was lifting them in the big wheel barrow thing, I think it was my face though and not sylvester stallone's. I have had one or two other dreams, I always tell myself to try to remember them or write them down, but I always forget to.

I am feeling pretty reflective right now, thinking back to things in my life and trying to figure out why I am where I am at in my life, and where I want to go. I would say I have never felt really in control of my life, but I have had my moments of.....clarity. The last time I started feeling like my life was going in a good direction, I stopped doing what I am pretty sure was making the changes happen.

I have also noticed lately that I am not giving as much thought to what I say as I did before, there would sometimes be a lag between the voice in my head and my mouth, so it would probably sound like I stuttered, which was kind of annoying.

I do feel that some people are reacting more positively to me.

I am also feeling more sure of myself.

Also, it has happened to me a few times, where I am listening to the sub and I know it is playing, but I don't hear it, I don't know if I am still sleeping or what because the only version I can listen to is the stream, which is very relaxing to me, but like I said, a few times I have been like what the hell, I know it is on.