Roy's Alpha Male 5.0 Journal

[Roy]

I started AM 5.0 today.It's been about more than a year since finishing
AM 2010 so it's time to run AM again.

In the last few months I was getting not happy about my life.Finishing my
engineering degree and not getting a job so not being independent
as I want to be.Not being happy about my romantic life,I know that I am
attractive to women but I don't take the steps required sometimes,
not bring happy with my options or things don't work sometimes.

Now after few hours of AM I'm really getting pi**ed off.

Also not fun is realizing that all the s**t I was told from childhood about
go to school,get a degree,than you find a job and get paid and than
somehow magically you get a women and everything works out
is not that correct.It's more like get a job you hate to buy s**t you don't
need and raise a dysfunctional family while drugging yourself with TV/food/
computer games or whatever.

I have no intention of doing this.

The goals for AM 5.0 is to become more alpha,independent and improve
my financial and romantic situation.

Shannon,I dropped my manifestation techniques while I'll be using AM 5.0.Is it O.K to use release technique to get rid of negative emotions about things or will it interfere with AM?

[Shannon]

AM will handle the release when it is appropriate and necessary. Negativity, after all, isn't a big part of being an Alpha. Otherwise you may disrupt the program's efforts.

Feel the negativity and upset, and use it to motivate and power your transformation and change while it's there.

[Spiral]

When I ran AM 2011 the amount of negativity I was experienceing during "boot camp" just pissed me off and made me feel helpless. I started looking harder for new jobs and or different avenues for change but not much has changed since. I think I wasn't as motivated as I could have let myself be and instead I fell victim to the subliminal at times. Or that's how I felt. Maybe it's just that powerful. I mean.. I've changed drastically since I started so I must have changed something.

Good luck Roy. I hope you enjoy AM 5.0!

[Roy]

AM 5.0 stage 1 day 6

This version is brilliant and huge improvement compared to the 2010 version I used before.It feels a lot more smoother and normal.I change and it seems like it's was there and it's not a big deal.

The negativity I wrote about in the last post subsided after a few hours.
I noticed in the last few days my posture improved,standing straighter,my voice is louder and deeper.

My communication also changed,shorter and to the point with less interest
listening rambling about random things I don't give a s**t about and
and cutting them in the middle.Sometimes directly and sometimes while
being more cute and charming.

There's also more communication with body language when I just stare at
them and it seems I that if I can get the point by staring or facial expression I don't have the need to start a long chat with them.

I more asserting my boundaries with people and it seems I also start
pushing and testing them.

I got got a boost in motivation and productivity and wanting to learn
,read and also exercise.In the last few days I increased the intensity
of my exercise.Less interested in wasting time.

Yesterday I found out my hatred a despise to T.V I got during
the 2010 set is coming back.

Feeling very detached and with sort of lack of emotions inside and also
less interest and thinking about women in the last few days.Also
clearer mentally.

Yesterday had a nightmare and woke up with a subtle sense of fear
and anxiety that went away.I also have to remember not to listen
for too many hours,I had a overload headache.

Compared to the last time of using alpha there's very little resistance
so far.

[RainbowAbyss]

great read, Roy,
I like the detail and awareness,
this post is really confirming my decision to run Alpha next,
the changes your describing in your experience is exactly
what I have been 'craving'.

[Roy]

AM 5.0 stage 1 day 20

AM hit some intense feelings of despair two days ago for a few hours.
Things about how my life turned out and hopelessness.It went away after
few hours.

Women also seem to be affected.They seem to be acting differently.
I am at not that interested in women phase at the moment.They seem
to be at an opposite phase.

Last Friday at a dance class,one pretty woman placed her self next to me
and than another super cute one asks if I am here with someone.I said
no and she said good.Today I went dancing and a seriously gorgeous blond
I hardly know comes in,I said an uninterested hi,looked away and she came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

It also seems that while dancing salsa and bachata some women begin
to rub their ass on my d***,I'm not doing anything consciously different.
Sometimes also use their breasts on me.I have no idea why.

That happens when I do a freeze in the dance and the woman can
do whatever she wants.Didn't happen before starting AM 5.0.It also
seemed to improve my dancing.

I'm thinking about what to do with my life.I don't know.

Also I refuse to take s**t from my boss in one of my jobs.He complained
about something I stared at him and refused to get into it.

[Shannon]

Women also seem to be affected.They seem to be acting differently.
I am at not that interested in women phase at the moment.They seem
to be at an opposite phase.

Last Friday at a dance class,one pretty woman placed her self next to me
and than another super cute one asks if I am here with someone.I said
no and she said good.Today I went dancing and a seriously gorgeous blond
I hardly know comes in,I said an uninterested hi,looked away and she came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

It also seems that while dancing salsa and bachata some women begin
to rub their ass on my d***,I'm not doing anything consciously different.
Sometimes also use their breasts on me.I have no idea why.

Seriously? You can't see that they're telling you that they want you? They're interested? They want to have sex with you? Cause that's plain as day what you're describing.

[Sean]

Roy is the dancehall lothario! Enjoy your new harem, sir!

[Spiral]

LOL Roy that is pretty sweet.

[Roy]

AM 5.0 stage 2 day 2

I finished stage 1.In the last days I was feeling fear and anxiety coming
about my life.I had some really nice dream that I was being with two women and when the natural redhead was getting close I woke up.

Stage 2 is making me pissed now about things in my life.Things not
going anywhere so I now I take out by being productive,doing things I should do and working out.

I went dancing today and got rejected when asking for dances a lot.
I got pissed.Not on the specific women.I'm not even attracted to them .It's doesn't even worth taking it personally,it's the sort of I f*****g deserve better than this anger.It's a very detached and emotionally cold anger.I'm pissed at my situation with women and my financial one also.
It doesn't make sense at all and I'm sick of maintaining the same
s***y status que.

The positive side is that sort of anger just makes me much more motivated.
Seriously pissed and motivated to get stuff done.

[Sean]

I had a similar reaction, though mine was sadness and grief for the roads not taken

[Roy]

AM 5.0 stage 2 day 5

Stage 2 seems to be giving me hard time.It's bringing negative concepts
and ideas about myself and my life.I had a small breakdown yesterday and I cried.It was like facing a constant barrage of negativity about myself and my life,being weak,incapable,unattractive and pushing myself and working hard on things and not seeing results.

I worked out hard today until a lot of it went away.

There also unwillingness to be mistreated and walked on by others.
I just refuse to and don't care if there's a little fiction with others
because of it.

I remember some primal themes showing up in tonights dreams
and me in them trying to resist some events in them.

Also p***ed with women and their choices and me being treated poorly
by some.

[Sean]

Roy, Stage 2 was really rough for me, as well. Stay strong, man!

[Benjamin]

Yeah I was similar with Stage 2. I'm just about to finish it up after my headphone listening for today I start Stage 3.

I was incredibly negative for alot of it, thinking about ALOT of things from my past and how I stuffed up, what I did wrong, regrets etc. And I thought it was strange but it is kind of comforting to hear that others are having similar things which is why i'm posting this too so you can see that others had a similar experience and your not alone.

-Ben