11-24-2014, 03:24 AM
Stage 6, Day 23
Thought I would post the Changes I have gone through with this program since I only have a little over a week left. Its been a while since I've looked at the bullet points for the program but after reading them I saw that pretty much everything the program was meant to do has been accomplished. Its funny, Its only when I go through the bullet points that I actually realize how much I've changed. I feel just normal, like the newness of being a Alpha (or Sigma as a better description that I like) has worn off. I feel like I've been this way for a long time and that person before AM6 is completely different. Without further ado here are the changes:
• Increased self confidence- (Strong) Check.
• Increased self respect - (Strong) Check
• Better self control- (Strong) I don't spiral into depression and darkness like I use to. I pretty much never get to that point much anymore "unless" I make a mistake that is legitimately my fault. That seems to be the only thing lingering behind.
• Little to no interest in and concern with what others think of you or your actions- (Strong) Its gotten even stronger in Stage 6. I have this "almost" apathetic attitude towards others. Its not that I don't help people anymore its just that I just don't care for their opinions much anymore or what they do for that matter. As long as they aren't getting in my way.
• Better self esteem-(Strong) Check.
• Better self image-(Strong) Definitely noticed myself not seeing much wrong with my body in the mirror nowadays. Its like I can't find anything negative anymore.
• Stronger sense of self-(Strong) Check.
• Being able to handle rejection without taking it personally-(Strong) Don't really care about women at all at the moment. I'm pretty dedicated to doing a AYP sub so pretty much any women who isn't "perfect" doesn't appeal to me at all, unless its just to have fun. Even then my standards are high for even the "just for fun" category.
• More social confidence-(Strong) Definitely socialize more than I use to.
• Less to no social anxiety-(Strong) Pretty much non-existent except for when its a large group and everyone's attention is on me.
• Enjoying socializing more-(Strong) This one is kinda of weird. Socialize more and can enjoy it but at the same time I really don't care. Its like I enjoy and am at piece with being introverted now but I do enjoy socializing which I only do when I'm doing something boring that doesn't require my full attention.
• Much more confidence and relaxation when dealing with women in general, and especially those you find attractive-(Strong) Meh, I have no problem talking to many women anymore but at the same time I'm just not interested.
• Willingness, confidence and ability to simply walk away from situations you don’t like-(Strong) Literally quite my previous job because nothing was getting done when I was disrespected twice.
• Refusal to allow yourself to be taken advantage of, walked on or treated poorly by anyone, but especially females-(Strong) Its funny, I totally forgot about this bullet point from the last time I read the list. The last few days I kept on thinking about why is it that I especially hate it when Women disrespect me. I haven't had as much problem with men trying to disrespect me but women sometimes see it as some type of challenge. Like I'm that one of the very few free "wild stallions" that they must try to "beta-lize" into oblivion.
• Alpha/Dominant male body language-(Strong) Noticed this the other day. Was told to stand outside a theater auditorium and to let people in at a certain time. I stood there and everyone of my co-worker's who walked by gave me signs of respect. There was one guy that stood out in my mind though. He told me how serious I looked and that I should be a bodyguard. For background, I had never been called serious in my life before AM6. I was that person who always smiled and that was a beta thing in my case. There was part in the John Alexander book where he says that Smiling all the time is a beta tactic to show that your non-threatening. I also noticed that I don't like looking down at all like I use to. I feel uncomfortable when I do.
• Alpha/Dominant male attitude-(Strong) Stage 6 especially has made my Alpha attitude more prominent. Its like I refuse to be disrespected, dominated, or challenged by anyone. I think this rubs off on other people too. I find they use the words "please", and "Thank you" a lot more than just give out a direct order to me (whether its a boss or a customer I'm serving). I've noticed big time that this attitude extends a lot of times to other Males who allow such things to happen to them. For example, at the movie theater I will sometimes have to work concessions. Sometimes I will get a couple ordering popcorn and will ask if they want butter on it. The guy will say yes, and the girl will say no at the same time. The women will say something like "You don't need that", etc. The guy will look down for a moment and then say to me "no butter". It will just be little things like that that I notice that will agitate me for some reason. It will be the same way when I see kids that control their "weak backbone" parents. I've noticed as well that before AM6 I would like more dominant type women, now I can't stand them at all. I like really submissive women now or women who are aggressive but are aggressive towards pleasing their significant other.
• Alpha/Dominant male “aura” of unexplainable sexual attractiveness that women love so much-(Strong) Noticed this happening too a female acquaintance of mine's who I'm not the slightest bit interested in. Also noticed women trying to talking to me sometimes or get my attention. Like I said before though, really don't care.
• Alpha/Dominant male eye contact and communication-(Medium) Can't say much about this one because for eye contact I don't really care about it. Before I would avoid eye contact a lot out of fear. Now I make more eye contact while both talking and listening.
• Better, more easily expressed sense of humor-(Strong) Defintely noticed myself acting more witty lately.
• Enjoying the company of others, and especially beautiful women, more and more comfortably and easily-(Strong) I can when I am at a event or get together. I notice I will be more in the moment instead of in my head. At the same time I really don't care whether I'm alone or with people
• More beautiful women in your life-(Medium) Because of my higher standards I don't notice many beautiful women anymore. Even if I do notice one, all they have to do is do something disrespectful(Which I guess they are use to doing to men) and I am done with them.
• Having beautiful women notice you more, find you more attractive, and
want to be with you more, physically, sexually, relationally and emotionally.
(In other words, they’ll want to spend more time around you, be
much more likely to want you as a boyfriend/lover/husband, and be more
interested in you both sexually and emotionally.)-(Medium) I notice them trying to talk to me more often but I'm not interested anyway so I don't even let it go any further.
• Treating socializing as just a fun game-(strong) With the right person, yes but if I'm not even interested in the person upon my first impression I don't even bother.
• Being entirely unconcerned with getting the interest of any woman, because you know there are plenty more where she came from-(Strong) Sums up my whole attitude towards women right now.
• Refusing to allow females to dominate or control you-(Extremely Strong) Check
• Taking care of yourself better, in terms of exercise, eating, hygiene and dress-(Strong) I have noticed that I like to dress more formal on those rare times I like to go out.
• Drastically reduced or completely destroyed neediness-(Strong)Has Practically been Annihilated
• Having purged and overcome a significant amount of guilt, shame and fear-(Strong) Fear, and Guilt are practically gone. The only amount of shame left is when I am hard on myself for doing something incompetent.
• Having become more mature as a man(Strong)- Check
• Having made significant progress healing and growing past emotional traumas and issues-(Strong) I rarely think about the past anymore and my PTSD episodes are much rarer now. I barely have any negative thoughts anymore and when I think of the future I see no negative outcome. I only see victory as the only path before me.
One last point about results that I must mention because it feels so abnormal is the reaction this has had on kids. Its like they are mesmerized by me for some reason. I had one kid who was running and playing in the halls at work stop when he ran past me and ran back to me to ask my name. When I told him, he said" Your name is so cool, your so awesome!". I had another kid ask me yesterday ,when I was at concessions, Why there was popcorn on the counter on his side of concessions. I told him, "Its because people spill it". He gave me this look like I just blew his mind or he was in awe of me. Then finally the weirdest one was today. A female 6th grader asked me for "life advice" on if her feelings were legitimate about how her friend was liking her more popular friend than her. Basically she was being pushed to the side by her friend. I was mentally asking myself why a child would be asking a concession worker for life advice -__-'' WTF!!!!
As for the future I'm stilling going with WM>SM>Attract perfect wife> Attract perfect Financially wealthy romantic lover. After that, I will probably do AM6/or LTU>SM. I will probably only substitute LTU if by that time My PTSD isn't a Thing of the past. I feel like the Happiness and Joy would do wonder's for me in that regard.I am also determined in the future to move out of the country like I had dreamed up. Before AM6 I had thought about moving out of the country but now I feel like AM6 has made me more determined to do so. I felt like I never really meshed well with American culture and after completing AM6 I feel even more so. If I complete my degree before I meet my Perfect Financially wealthy romantic lover I will probably teach English as a Foreign language for a few years.I do plan on permanently moving to Asia though I'm not sure about which country in Asia. Thailand, Singapore, Hong kong, Philippines, or Japan have been some of the options in my mind. Eventually I will get out of the corporate sphere because I just find myself being agitated when I act submissive towards anyone due to corporate "Rank" these days. I will probably be posting my WM Journal sometime next week. I will probably be Changing my Avatar again as well to something that embodies the essence of women magnet more
Thought I would post the Changes I have gone through with this program since I only have a little over a week left. Its been a while since I've looked at the bullet points for the program but after reading them I saw that pretty much everything the program was meant to do has been accomplished. Its funny, Its only when I go through the bullet points that I actually realize how much I've changed. I feel just normal, like the newness of being a Alpha (or Sigma as a better description that I like) has worn off. I feel like I've been this way for a long time and that person before AM6 is completely different. Without further ado here are the changes:
• Increased self confidence- (Strong) Check.
• Increased self respect - (Strong) Check
• Better self control- (Strong) I don't spiral into depression and darkness like I use to. I pretty much never get to that point much anymore "unless" I make a mistake that is legitimately my fault. That seems to be the only thing lingering behind.
• Little to no interest in and concern with what others think of you or your actions- (Strong) Its gotten even stronger in Stage 6. I have this "almost" apathetic attitude towards others. Its not that I don't help people anymore its just that I just don't care for their opinions much anymore or what they do for that matter. As long as they aren't getting in my way.
• Better self esteem-(Strong) Check.
• Better self image-(Strong) Definitely noticed myself not seeing much wrong with my body in the mirror nowadays. Its like I can't find anything negative anymore.
• Stronger sense of self-(Strong) Check.
• Being able to handle rejection without taking it personally-(Strong) Don't really care about women at all at the moment. I'm pretty dedicated to doing a AYP sub so pretty much any women who isn't "perfect" doesn't appeal to me at all, unless its just to have fun. Even then my standards are high for even the "just for fun" category.
• More social confidence-(Strong) Definitely socialize more than I use to.
• Less to no social anxiety-(Strong) Pretty much non-existent except for when its a large group and everyone's attention is on me.
• Enjoying socializing more-(Strong) This one is kinda of weird. Socialize more and can enjoy it but at the same time I really don't care. Its like I enjoy and am at piece with being introverted now but I do enjoy socializing which I only do when I'm doing something boring that doesn't require my full attention.
• Much more confidence and relaxation when dealing with women in general, and especially those you find attractive-(Strong) Meh, I have no problem talking to many women anymore but at the same time I'm just not interested.
• Willingness, confidence and ability to simply walk away from situations you don’t like-(Strong) Literally quite my previous job because nothing was getting done when I was disrespected twice.
• Refusal to allow yourself to be taken advantage of, walked on or treated poorly by anyone, but especially females-(Strong) Its funny, I totally forgot about this bullet point from the last time I read the list. The last few days I kept on thinking about why is it that I especially hate it when Women disrespect me. I haven't had as much problem with men trying to disrespect me but women sometimes see it as some type of challenge. Like I'm that one of the very few free "wild stallions" that they must try to "beta-lize" into oblivion.
• Alpha/Dominant male body language-(Strong) Noticed this the other day. Was told to stand outside a theater auditorium and to let people in at a certain time. I stood there and everyone of my co-worker's who walked by gave me signs of respect. There was one guy that stood out in my mind though. He told me how serious I looked and that I should be a bodyguard. For background, I had never been called serious in my life before AM6. I was that person who always smiled and that was a beta thing in my case. There was part in the John Alexander book where he says that Smiling all the time is a beta tactic to show that your non-threatening. I also noticed that I don't like looking down at all like I use to. I feel uncomfortable when I do.
• Alpha/Dominant male attitude-(Strong) Stage 6 especially has made my Alpha attitude more prominent. Its like I refuse to be disrespected, dominated, or challenged by anyone. I think this rubs off on other people too. I find they use the words "please", and "Thank you" a lot more than just give out a direct order to me (whether its a boss or a customer I'm serving). I've noticed big time that this attitude extends a lot of times to other Males who allow such things to happen to them. For example, at the movie theater I will sometimes have to work concessions. Sometimes I will get a couple ordering popcorn and will ask if they want butter on it. The guy will say yes, and the girl will say no at the same time. The women will say something like "You don't need that", etc. The guy will look down for a moment and then say to me "no butter". It will just be little things like that that I notice that will agitate me for some reason. It will be the same way when I see kids that control their "weak backbone" parents. I've noticed as well that before AM6 I would like more dominant type women, now I can't stand them at all. I like really submissive women now or women who are aggressive but are aggressive towards pleasing their significant other.
• Alpha/Dominant male “aura” of unexplainable sexual attractiveness that women love so much-(Strong) Noticed this happening too a female acquaintance of mine's who I'm not the slightest bit interested in. Also noticed women trying to talking to me sometimes or get my attention. Like I said before though, really don't care.
• Alpha/Dominant male eye contact and communication-(Medium) Can't say much about this one because for eye contact I don't really care about it. Before I would avoid eye contact a lot out of fear. Now I make more eye contact while both talking and listening.
• Better, more easily expressed sense of humor-(Strong) Defintely noticed myself acting more witty lately.
• Enjoying the company of others, and especially beautiful women, more and more comfortably and easily-(Strong) I can when I am at a event or get together. I notice I will be more in the moment instead of in my head. At the same time I really don't care whether I'm alone or with people
• More beautiful women in your life-(Medium) Because of my higher standards I don't notice many beautiful women anymore. Even if I do notice one, all they have to do is do something disrespectful(Which I guess they are use to doing to men) and I am done with them.
• Having beautiful women notice you more, find you more attractive, and
want to be with you more, physically, sexually, relationally and emotionally.
(In other words, they’ll want to spend more time around you, be
much more likely to want you as a boyfriend/lover/husband, and be more
interested in you both sexually and emotionally.)-(Medium) I notice them trying to talk to me more often but I'm not interested anyway so I don't even let it go any further.
• Treating socializing as just a fun game-(strong) With the right person, yes but if I'm not even interested in the person upon my first impression I don't even bother.
• Being entirely unconcerned with getting the interest of any woman, because you know there are plenty more where she came from-(Strong) Sums up my whole attitude towards women right now.
• Refusing to allow females to dominate or control you-(Extremely Strong) Check
• Taking care of yourself better, in terms of exercise, eating, hygiene and dress-(Strong) I have noticed that I like to dress more formal on those rare times I like to go out.
• Drastically reduced or completely destroyed neediness-(Strong)Has Practically been Annihilated
• Having purged and overcome a significant amount of guilt, shame and fear-(Strong) Fear, and Guilt are practically gone. The only amount of shame left is when I am hard on myself for doing something incompetent.
• Having become more mature as a man(Strong)- Check
• Having made significant progress healing and growing past emotional traumas and issues-(Strong) I rarely think about the past anymore and my PTSD episodes are much rarer now. I barely have any negative thoughts anymore and when I think of the future I see no negative outcome. I only see victory as the only path before me.
One last point about results that I must mention because it feels so abnormal is the reaction this has had on kids. Its like they are mesmerized by me for some reason. I had one kid who was running and playing in the halls at work stop when he ran past me and ran back to me to ask my name. When I told him, he said" Your name is so cool, your so awesome!". I had another kid ask me yesterday ,when I was at concessions, Why there was popcorn on the counter on his side of concessions. I told him, "Its because people spill it". He gave me this look like I just blew his mind or he was in awe of me. Then finally the weirdest one was today. A female 6th grader asked me for "life advice" on if her feelings were legitimate about how her friend was liking her more popular friend than her. Basically she was being pushed to the side by her friend. I was mentally asking myself why a child would be asking a concession worker for life advice -__-'' WTF!!!!
As for the future I'm stilling going with WM>SM>Attract perfect wife> Attract perfect Financially wealthy romantic lover. After that, I will probably do AM6/or LTU>SM. I will probably only substitute LTU if by that time My PTSD isn't a Thing of the past. I feel like the Happiness and Joy would do wonder's for me in that regard.I am also determined in the future to move out of the country like I had dreamed up. Before AM6 I had thought about moving out of the country but now I feel like AM6 has made me more determined to do so. I felt like I never really meshed well with American culture and after completing AM6 I feel even more so. If I complete my degree before I meet my Perfect Financially wealthy romantic lover I will probably teach English as a Foreign language for a few years.I do plan on permanently moving to Asia though I'm not sure about which country in Asia. Thailand, Singapore, Hong kong, Philippines, or Japan have been some of the options in my mind. Eventually I will get out of the corporate sphere because I just find myself being agitated when I act submissive towards anyone due to corporate "Rank" these days. I will probably be posting my WM Journal sometime next week. I will probably be Changing my Avatar again as well to something that embodies the essence of women magnet more
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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