09-24-2014, 09:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2014, 11:47 PM by DarthXedonias.)
Hello guys! First post here even though I've been lurking on the forums for months now. Currently on Stage 4 of AM6 and only have a few more days til I start stage 5.
I think first before I review each stage to where I'm at now, I should give some background. I grew up in a home with a Dominate mother and a Weak backbone Step father. Public Elementary and Junior high was fine but once I got to Private Junior high and High school stuff went down hill. Mostly got made fun of because of my voice, because of this that's when I started being more Introverted instead of Extroverted like I use to be (I'm currently a INTP and identify with all the characteristic practically).
Ever since then being very needy and seeking for Validation. After a few years in Community college I joined the Navy seeking some kind of Camaraderie. Almost didn't make it in that organization because people were definitely not like I thought they would be. A lot of them were even worse than civilians with their abuse of power over others. I got discharged early (was suicidal at that time) with 90% of my benefits Last December. I had tried Hypnosis and Subliminals before without much luck. I found Shannon's site in a last ditch effort to change my life because I didn't want to use and rely on Anti-depressants. I bought AM6 and started last May.
As for a short overview of the Stages:
Stage 1: This one kicked in after a few days. I remember one particular night where I finished watching a movie that had aliens in it, I was paranoid about seeing aliens for a couple of hours that night. It was really weird but after that night its like i released a lot of fear I had about various things. I felt more happy, had more confidence, and sense of self worth.
Stage 2: Kinda of extended a lot of the good feelings I was getting from Stage 1, along with a none neediness towards women and the idea of sex. Where as before I would fap like once a day, on this stage I would probably not fap for like 3 to 4 days at a time.
Stage 3: this is where things were very frustrating and I at one point almost gave up. I think it was a combination of having to feel agitation and angry most of the time and it flaring up my PTSD for like the first 2 to 3 weeks. As a INTP, I'm not use to "giving" in to feelings nor being in that constant state of feeling them because of a "Fear" of losing control. I finally kinda of Recognized my feelings and have no problem feeling them and recognizing them now because I just woke up one day and realized "I've been too rationale most of my life, there comes a time when a person needs to let loose and get angry to let his boundaries be known".
Currently Stage 4: I noticed in this current stage that I calmed down a bit and not every single annoying thing tends to agitate me. I let go and forget about Past hurts/wrongs more easily now. My slight PTSD is almost non existent now unless I hit some type of Resistance. I also noticed that women that I worked with call me "Hun" instead of by my name usually now. I also don't like be in my room a lot and find it boring now, I actually looked forward to actually going to work or doing something productive. One other thing is that that During stage 3 My horniess went through the roof and I was back to faping like once a day, though I still didn't really feel needy toward it in a way. It felt more like a "oh, well thats over with time to do something more important". Now I noticed a lot of the good things from the first 2 stages are back and even stronger. Also, My Neediness towards women and sex is almost non- existent to the point that I fear my sex drive maybe broken lol. I just don't care about women at all and just seeing them as any other human being. I can try to fantasize like i use to but its like I can only do it for a few seconds before i just loose interest. I also find myself leading without thinking about it and people putting me in responsibility positions before other people.
Today: As of today I have quit my Job at the supermarket because one of my Manager's (Female) tried to disrespect me for a 2nd time. I went to someone higher up get it resolved but they just tried to make excuses for the manager ("they are under a lot of stress, etc). Since nothing was going to get resolved, I just quit. At this point I can't stand Cowardly people and people who can't do their jobs. I also tend to be able to sum up people right away, almost unconsciously for some reason, like a word just pops in my head about them (Fearful, cowardly, Indecisive, etc).
In the Future: I plan after AM6 to run the Rotation of WM( I believe I have some Misanthropy leanings, so I think it would be best to start with this)> SM(Still a Virgin, and I like the idea of the Aura's Involved) > Perfect wife(Most women i realize don't do it for me so I rather have someone perfect) > Perfect Wealthy Romantic Lover (I'm of a Religious persuasion that allows for polygamy so I'm pretty sure in my Mind my perfect wife and wealthy romantic love would be of the same mind set, I tend to disdain the idea of being in a monogamous relationship).
After all this I plan on doing Repeat of just AM6 and SM to really root the messages in my Subconscious. Apologize for the long post but felt Like I needed to catch up on all those months I didn't post.
I think first before I review each stage to where I'm at now, I should give some background. I grew up in a home with a Dominate mother and a Weak backbone Step father. Public Elementary and Junior high was fine but once I got to Private Junior high and High school stuff went down hill. Mostly got made fun of because of my voice, because of this that's when I started being more Introverted instead of Extroverted like I use to be (I'm currently a INTP and identify with all the characteristic practically).
Ever since then being very needy and seeking for Validation. After a few years in Community college I joined the Navy seeking some kind of Camaraderie. Almost didn't make it in that organization because people were definitely not like I thought they would be. A lot of them were even worse than civilians with their abuse of power over others. I got discharged early (was suicidal at that time) with 90% of my benefits Last December. I had tried Hypnosis and Subliminals before without much luck. I found Shannon's site in a last ditch effort to change my life because I didn't want to use and rely on Anti-depressants. I bought AM6 and started last May.
As for a short overview of the Stages:
Stage 1: This one kicked in after a few days. I remember one particular night where I finished watching a movie that had aliens in it, I was paranoid about seeing aliens for a couple of hours that night. It was really weird but after that night its like i released a lot of fear I had about various things. I felt more happy, had more confidence, and sense of self worth.
Stage 2: Kinda of extended a lot of the good feelings I was getting from Stage 1, along with a none neediness towards women and the idea of sex. Where as before I would fap like once a day, on this stage I would probably not fap for like 3 to 4 days at a time.
Stage 3: this is where things were very frustrating and I at one point almost gave up. I think it was a combination of having to feel agitation and angry most of the time and it flaring up my PTSD for like the first 2 to 3 weeks. As a INTP, I'm not use to "giving" in to feelings nor being in that constant state of feeling them because of a "Fear" of losing control. I finally kinda of Recognized my feelings and have no problem feeling them and recognizing them now because I just woke up one day and realized "I've been too rationale most of my life, there comes a time when a person needs to let loose and get angry to let his boundaries be known".
Currently Stage 4: I noticed in this current stage that I calmed down a bit and not every single annoying thing tends to agitate me. I let go and forget about Past hurts/wrongs more easily now. My slight PTSD is almost non existent now unless I hit some type of Resistance. I also noticed that women that I worked with call me "Hun" instead of by my name usually now. I also don't like be in my room a lot and find it boring now, I actually looked forward to actually going to work or doing something productive. One other thing is that that During stage 3 My horniess went through the roof and I was back to faping like once a day, though I still didn't really feel needy toward it in a way. It felt more like a "oh, well thats over with time to do something more important". Now I noticed a lot of the good things from the first 2 stages are back and even stronger. Also, My Neediness towards women and sex is almost non- existent to the point that I fear my sex drive maybe broken lol. I just don't care about women at all and just seeing them as any other human being. I can try to fantasize like i use to but its like I can only do it for a few seconds before i just loose interest. I also find myself leading without thinking about it and people putting me in responsibility positions before other people.
Today: As of today I have quit my Job at the supermarket because one of my Manager's (Female) tried to disrespect me for a 2nd time. I went to someone higher up get it resolved but they just tried to make excuses for the manager ("they are under a lot of stress, etc). Since nothing was going to get resolved, I just quit. At this point I can't stand Cowardly people and people who can't do their jobs. I also tend to be able to sum up people right away, almost unconsciously for some reason, like a word just pops in my head about them (Fearful, cowardly, Indecisive, etc).
In the Future: I plan after AM6 to run the Rotation of WM( I believe I have some Misanthropy leanings, so I think it would be best to start with this)> SM(Still a Virgin, and I like the idea of the Aura's Involved) > Perfect wife(Most women i realize don't do it for me so I rather have someone perfect) > Perfect Wealthy Romantic Lover (I'm of a Religious persuasion that allows for polygamy so I'm pretty sure in my Mind my perfect wife and wealthy romantic love would be of the same mind set, I tend to disdain the idea of being in a monogamous relationship).
After all this I plan on doing Repeat of just AM6 and SM to really root the messages in my Subconscious. Apologize for the long post but felt Like I needed to catch up on all those months I didn't post.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche