Path to Greatness - Journal

[SargeMaximus]

As for AM 5, it doesn't have OGSF in it. You can use it before hand, or you can use it from Stage 4 onward. I suggest you would probably do better using OGSF right now, for a few months.

I'd like to second this. Though I have not tried AM yet, I can tell you that the progress OGSF makes is invaluable. Good luck to you.

[Javier Gerardo]

Hey Shannon!
She's just busy this upcoming weekend so she can't go. The problem with that is I think if I won't see her anytime soon I probably won't be able to see her anymore. Well that is just like what happened during my past. The more I didn't pull the trigger or hesitated to ask a girl out, the better she will say no. But yeah we can say it depends.

I hope I can get OGSF before this month ends.

Also, hey Sarge! I've read your journal and it seems you have great results from it.

[Shannon]

It helps to be aggressive and proactive, but it also helps to remember that there are more where she came from.

[Javier Gerardo]

Yeah. Looking back to the things that I have done in the past I believe that I am not taking as much action. I didn't make enough move to take the steps and take the relationship further. I've had lots of regrets as such.
I remember this quote:
"“All The Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
Layin' In The Sun,
Talkin' 'Bout The Things
They Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done...
But All Those Woulda-Coulda-Shouldas
All Ran Away And Hid
From One Little Did.” ― Shel Silverstein

I mean that alone reminds me of how I should live my life man. Then I remembered when I was a kid. Like when I was a toddler. When my parents said I should dance, I will dance. Saw a couple of my pictures back then and I was happy. I didn't care what others think, I just effing do it. When I was a kid they even made me a prince on a show and I have a partner which is a princess. If I remember correctly she was cute so I kiss her at the cheeks in the end. And yeah I just did it. Then after that my teachers, grown ups, my older relatives told me to be nice, please others, behave etc. All the social conditioning man. They need me to be a nice controlled individual. Then I hit puberty and got all these hormones. It was a downhill from then.

The thing is I realize that all these attracting women, becoming a man, becoming sociable in general, I mean I have them already. As a child I did pretty much great. I just become affected so much by others that I believe it was the truth.

On the plus side, at least we all have the capacity to change. And it is what I am doing now.

[Javier Gerardo]

Whoa a lot of things have happened during the past month. I wasn't able to update this soon enough.

First off, my job is pretty much great. The only downside is that the pay isn't enough and as such I still have problems financially. But I am not looking at that side much and instead focus on doing my best to do my job. As such, I was being complimented by my boss and other colleagues for a good job. A feat which is I am very grateful for.

Moving on, I will talk about this girl whom I managed to go out with a few dates. Well we're dating now. This has got to be the best moments of my life bros. I really did believe we can be in a relationship together because she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too. Sometimes I feel that I am not spending a lot of time with her. We work on different shifts so I only see her once or twice a week. But when we're together we have a blast and enjoy each moment. I do feel I need to adapt on having a relationship because it really takes a good amount of my time. I've been single my whole life so I don't know how or what but I believe I am still doing great. Thanks a lot to everyone here!

Now this is not without any problems. I hate to admit it but here goes. We already kind of having sex but there is a big problem with me. When the time comes that I am about to "do" it, my penis goes completely flaccid and whatever I do it stays the same. It only got hard when I start imagining porn and sexy things and when it did I climaxed almost immediately. She says it's okay and we just laugh it off. At that time I just thought it is okay because it's my first and I wasn't relaxed, was anxious and I shouldn't stress about it. But sad to say, it happened again for two more times. The last time was just yesterday so the pain of me not performing and not having any control of "myself" was too much already. It's like I went back on my depressive state again. For my girlfriend she still kept on saying it's okay but I can already feel she feels bad and frustrated. Not to mention she asked me if I'm gay or if I really like her.

I feel completely ashamed and depressed due to such. It's like I have erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation at the same time. I never though this would happen. Like before I am blabbering so much about how much I want to lose my virginity but this happened.

I've been thinking a lot about this and why this is happening. I believe it is partly caused by me having that Fear of Success or Self Sabotage or other else. I mean here I am just about to do it but it's like my body says, Fuck you I'm bailing out!

For a solution, I'm already researching about doing Kegel exercises and Reverse Kegel exercises. I read that they work. The subs End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction both look sufficient enough as well. But as I said, this problem of mine probably goes beyond those problems. Like this PE and ED are only symptoms and I have underlying fears like Fear of Success that is bringing it or I am not Alpha enough. Now I am already deciding which sub to buy whether the Overcome Guilt, Shame and Fear or both the End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction.

[IronSmooth]

Whoa a lot of things have happened during the past month. I wasn't able to update this soon enough.

First off, my job is pretty much great. The only downside is that the pay isn't enough and as such I still have problems financially. But I am not looking at that side much and instead focus on doing my best to do my job. As such, I was being complimented by my boss and other colleagues for a good job. A feat which is I am very grateful for.

Moving on, I will talk about this girl whom I managed to go out with a few dates. Well we're dating now. This has got to be the best moments of my life bros. I really did believe we can be in a relationship together because she likes me a lot and I like her a lot too. Sometimes I feel that I am not spending a lot of time with her. We work on different shifts so I only see her once or twice a week. But when we're together we have a blast and enjoy each moment. I do feel I need to adapt on having a relationship because it really takes a good amount of my time. I've been single my whole life so I don't know how or what but I believe I am still doing great. Thanks a lot to everyone here!

Now this is not without any problems. I hate to admit it but here goes. We already kind of having sex but there is a big problem with me. When the time comes that I am about to "do" it, my penis goes completely flaccid and whatever I do it stays the same. It only got hard when I start imagining porn and sexy things and when it did I climaxed almost immediately. She says it's okay and we just laugh it off. At that time I just thought it is okay because it's my first and I wasn't relaxed, was anxious and I shouldn't stress about it. But sad to say, it happened again for two more times. The last time was just yesterday so the pain of me not performing and not having any control of "myself" was too much already. It's like I went back on my depressive state again. For my girlfriend she still kept on saying it's okay but I can already feel she feels bad and frustrated. Not to mention she asked me if I'm gay or if I really like her.

I feel completely ashamed and depressed due to such. It's like I have erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation at the same time. I never though this would happen. Like before I am blabbering so much about how much I want to lose my virginity but this happened.

I've been thinking a lot about this and why this is happening. I believe it is partly caused by me having that Fear of Success or Self Sabotage or other else. I mean here I am just about to do it but it's like my body says, **** you I'm bailing out!

For a solution, I'm already researching about doing Kegel exercises and Reverse Kegel exercises. I read that they work. The subs End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction both look sufficient enough as well. But as I said, this problem of mine probably goes beyond those problems. Like this PE and ED are only symptoms and I have underlying fears like Fear of Success that is bringing it or I am not Alpha enough. Now I am already deciding which sub to buy whether the Overcome Guilt, Shame and Fear or both the End Premature Ejaculation and Overcome Erectile Dysfunction.

Sup bro good to meet you.
I use to have this issue to my friend. I have to ask you...do you look at porn and masturbate furiously every day? lol
If you are, stop wanking completely and you should be good to go. Porn teaches your brain to be aroused by unrealistic scenarios, what ever porn you might be into. If that doesnt help, its most likely just fear. Theres a few subs that would help, Natural Seduction would be my choice.
Or maybe your testosterone levels are low?

Supplement with vitamin d and zinc and i promise you you will live a better life. zinc 30mg a day alone will help alot. What i does is regulate HUNDREDS of bodily functions and most importantly it raises your test levels back to normal. Every male needs this.

http://www.charlespoliquin.com/ArticlesM..._for_.aspx

[K-Train]

I agree with everything IronSmooth said and I'd like to also recommend PSE V2. Listen to that bad boy for about 2-4 hours a day and I promise you'll be aroused. Porn does tend to "desensitize" us to the real world and, as IronSmooth alluded to, causes us to only be aroused by certain scenarios. PSE V2 will essentially kick start your sex drive and make it so that you are constantly horny as a mofo. I remember when I was first using it I would listen to it on my iPOD for about 2-4 hours a day while testing it around my campus. After awhile I noticed that it my drive was insatiable no matter what I tried. Even after looking at porn I would still be aroused around women. Shannon isn't joking when he says it can cause hypersexuality. I had to stop listening to it because I didn't want to do anything stupid or get out of control.

[Javier Gerardo]

Sup bro good to meet you.
I use to have this issue to my friend. I have to ask you...do you look at porn and masturbate furiously every day? lol
If you are, stop wanking completely and you should be good to go. Porn teaches your brain to be aroused by unrealistic scenarios, what ever porn you might be into. If that doesnt help, its most likely just fear. Theres a few subs that would help, Natural Seduction would be my choice.
Or maybe your testosterone levels are low?

Supplement with vitamin d and zinc and i promise you you will live a better life. zinc 30mg a day alone will help alot. What i does is regulate HUNDREDS of bodily functions and most importantly it raises your test levels back to normal. Every male needs this.

http://www.charlespoliquin.com/ArticlesM..._for_.aspx

Hey man! Good to meet you as well. Welcome to the forum.
To tell you the truth man, I believe that one of the reasons why I managed to approach this girl and meet her is because I made a decision last February to stop masturbating to porn. As such the first time we almost did it, I came a lot much to her surprise. I do really cum a lot but that time was quite intense.
I still haven't quit watching porn by then but my porn watching was almost cut in half. Now I've read elsewhere that I should train myself by watching porn so I get desensitize. My main problem I believe is having Premature Ejaculation. So when the time comes when I will penetrate my mind goes kind of "I can't do it because I might get her pregnant."

Regarding low testosterone levels, I believe I have a much higher level now. Even before I meet her, I've been working out and even supplementing myself with Vitamin D. I even drink whey protein shakes. Due to such, I've been gaining muscle.

Now this is why I'm looking at Kegel and Reverse Kegel exercises bro. I've been doing them everyday already but it seems they only contribute so much. I still need to relax, feel at ease and so forth.

Thanks for the help and hope you can give me other tips.

[Javier Gerardo]

I agree with everything IronSmooth said and I'd like to also recommend PSE V2. Listen to that bad boy for about 2-4 hours a day and I promise you'll be aroused. Porn does tend to "desensitize" us to the real world and, as IronSmooth alluded to, causes us to only be aroused by certain scenarios. PSE V2 will essentially kick start your sex drive and make it so that you are constantly horny as a mofo. I remember when I was first using it I would listen to it on my iPOD for about 2-4 hours a day while testing it around my campus. After awhile I noticed that it my drive was insatiable no matter what I tried. Even after looking at porn I would still be aroused around women. Shannon isn't joking when he says it can cause hypersexuality. I had to stop listening to it because I didn't want to do anything stupid or get out of control.

Yes bro. I really need to stop watching porn. I do managed to cut my porn watching in half but as you guys said, I should avoid it completely.

Now to clarify my problem. It's more like Premature Ejaculation. I mean one time when my gf is just touching my penis, I already am feeling the need to cum and ejaculate. Erectile Dysfunction only happens when I'm about to penetrate, probably for fear getting her pregnant or so. I tried condoms but it kills my boner the moment I place it on. My problem really sucks hard man.

I also have PSE V2 but I don't really believe that I am not horny enough. Just my gf talking with me on the phone makes me hard already. Every time I'm near her, I want to do it. But when the time comes when I will do it, I mean you know what happens.

[IronSmooth]

Thanks K-train
And i agree to what K-Train says about the PSE lol
I listened to it all night on a loop during sleep, and i wake up in the morning and walk by the tv and there were just females talking. But I cant help but stare like a crazy animal that just hibernated for 10 years and needs a release, and they werent even attractive lol


Javier as i read your next post, this is not the issue. I can almost guarrantee 100% its fear, like virgin times lol
Thoughts go thorough your head like, "will i be good enough?" and "am i gonna last long enough?"
Man i had those times when i was a teen, she would be laying there with open legs, naked, (dunno if this is appropriate lol) and ready to receive, but it was my first time, and i cant get it up hahahhahaha. im like hold on a minute, i go into the bathroom and try to "help" it up lol. no luck, but im sure smoking the Newports and drinking, not eating for the last half a day, just coming off a 12 hour shift didnt help the situation. but after a while i got comfortable and all was better. although the hunger really really got to me as i couldnt keep up the activity for very long. young and dumb lol.

Yea my brothers porn is a very bastardly thing.
Javier my man, i think the only thing that can help you is to be comfortable before you begin the procedure. If you feel pressure theres no way Javier Jr is getting up in a tense situation lol
She needs to work with you, help you relax, alot of foreplay couldnt hurt.
Its fear fear and more fear, i can guarantee you that a specific sub will help you for this. Get on that right away bro, i hope your girl will understand.
Tell her you are so attracted to her that you are ready to bust it as soon as you touch her, and since you dont want to finish too soon, your mind shuts down your erection as to prevent this. Maybe she will understand and help you relax, turn down the lights, turn on some smooth jazz, light some lavender candles to relax, maybe drink a glass of wine for comfort. You have to work together in these moments

So the bigger problem is PE not ED? Because ED seems like a worse thing.
Have you tried busting a nut before you engage in the activity?
Bust a nut, then 30 minutes later start doing what you gotta do with the lady, and you wont finish so fast. This is only if you have PE.
If you have trouble with ED the PE every time then dont fap before the activity. For ED you have to feel no pressure. Sub would be the way to go bro

[Javier Gerardo]

Javier as i read your next post, this is not the issue. I can almost guarrantee 100% its fear, like virgin times lol
Thoughts go thorough your head like, "will i be good enough?" and "am i gonna last long enough?"
Man i had those times when i was a teen, she would be laying there with open legs, naked, (dunno if this is appropriate lol) and ready to receive, but it was my first time, and i cant get it up hahahhahaha. im like hold on a minute, i go into the bathroom and try to "help" it up lol. no luck, but im sure smoking the Newports and drinking, not eating for the last half a day, just coming off a 12 hour shift didnt help the situation. but after a while i got comfortable and all was better. although the hunger really really got to me as i couldnt keep up the activity for very long. young and dumb lol.

Yeah bro I'm still a virgin. Even though I'm kind of ashamed with it before, Shannon and others have made me realize to let it go and stop thinking about it too much. It is even quite positive in some way. As such, over the past year I've been here, I've been able to go out of my comfort zone and finally have fun socializing.

Now what you said is true bro. Thoughts like "Am I going to last long" spring through my mind as I am about to do it and I got excited.
I believe I can man! I believe that I can do this. But still there's always inside my head telling me I can't and so on. That's making me depressed on so on. I used to have depression roughly 3 years ago. I was a wreck back then. No job, no job experience, poor social skills, unfit and skinny. It's a good thing I manage to improve myself and get to the point where I am now. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

Yea my brothers porn is a very bastardly thing.
Javier my man, i think the only thing that can help you is to be comfortable before you begin the procedure. If you feel pressure theres no way Javier Jr is getting up in a tense situation lol
She needs to work with you, help you relax, alot of foreplay couldnt hurt.
Its fear fear and more fear, i can guarantee you that a specific sub will help you for this. Get on that right away bro, i hope your girl will understand.
Tell her you are so attracted to her that you are ready to bust it as soon as you touch her, and since you dont want to finish too soon, your mind shuts down your erection as to prevent this. Maybe she will understand and help you relax, turn down the lights, turn on some smooth jazz, light some lavender candles to relax, maybe drink a glass of wine for comfort. You have to work together in these moments

So the bigger problem is PE not ED? Because ED seems like a worse thing.
Have you tried busting a nut before you engage in the activity?
Bust a nut, then 30 minutes later start doing what you gotta do with the lady, and you wont finish so fast. This is only if you have PE.
If you have trouble with ED the PE every time then dont fap before the activity. For ED you have to feel no pressure. Sub would be the way to go bro

I will soon be getting the Overcome Fear, Guilt and Shame sub. I hope it definitely helps my condition. As I see it, my fear have seeped in to different aspects of my life as well. This causes me anxiety over the long term.

Yes it seems that I am really attracted to her that I have problems controlling myself. As such I think I cannot control it so I disabled my attraction towards her that makes me have a hard time getting it hard. Thus making me think I have Erectile Dysfunction instead of Premature Ejaculation. Now knowing my problem is already half of it. For the solution I've been doing Reverse Kegel exercises. I have high hopes that it will help me in my condition. Also, as you said I need to relax when doing it. I need to be honest with my girlfriend the next time we do it because before I just seem to fake my confidence well in fact, my heart was beating so fast and I can hardly control myself.

Lastly, I kind of tried to fap a few minutes before doing it though it only made my libido much lower. I couldn't keep my erection. Probably busting a nut earlier during the day would help?

Thanks a lot for the advice bro.

Thanks K-train
And i agree to what K-Train says about the PSE lol
I listened to it all night on a loop during sleep, and i wake up in the morning and walk by the tv and there were just females talking. But I cant help but stare like a crazy animal that just hibernated for 10 years and needs a release, and they werent even attractive lol

I will still try listening to PSE just once to have an increase in libido.

[Sean]

Javier, if I recall correctly, the Orgasm Enhancer for Men also includes ejaculatory control as a feature.

[Shannon]

I would say, Javier, that your issues probably stem from a cycle of feeling vulnerable and expected to perform under pressure, without the acknowledgement that you have feelings and your feelings are valid. It sounds to me as though you have subconsciously come to have conflicting beliefs, which is causing anxiety and that is making the cycle worse. The next version of OED may be a significant help. In the meantime, OGSF should help.

But the core issue seems to be a common one. It is a cycle of "My masculine validity depends on me being able to do XYZ. If I have anxiety or fear concerning ABC, and it affects XYZ, then I am not a real man."

This becomes a self defeating spiral. The truth is, you do not need to be able to do anything outwardly to be a "real man". Masculinity is a function of being male, and "real man" is a function of self mastery. Internals. It doesn't have to do with impressing, performing for or pleasing a woman. Just as a "real woman" is not a "real woman" simply because she is ready, willing and able to have sex with a man, or is particularly good at any aspect of it.

[Javier Gerardo]

Javier, if I recall correctly, the Orgasm Enhancer for Men also includes ejaculatory control as a feature.

That's cool but I've decided to use OGSF first. I have high hopes it will help me in my current situation.
Thanks for sharing.