Overcoming Social Anxiety/Love and Appreciate Yourself - Journal of Jay

[Ryan]

Yes, well we cannot blame our parents for our negatives, even though they may have influenced, we ultimately are responsible for our thoughts. Obviously, we weren't strong enough to deal with the negativity around us but Alpha Male will definitely make it possible for us to reject any negativity from the outside world. Granted, I've already begun to experience it, Woman Magnet helped out with this a bit but typically when my parents give me negative feedback I usually just ignore it and walk away when before it would really bother me. This whole sticking up for yourself may take that to another level entirely, not sure how that is going to affect me.

As for depression, I was depressed at an early age. The thing about depression is that it could be an infinite number of beliefs and memories. All that negativity regarding yourself feeling worthless, social anxiety, shy, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, all of that contributes to depression (which is why we have been feeling extremely depressed in the beginning of Alpha Male). Fortunately, Alpha Male will fix those things, yet, you may still have some hard memories to deal with but in the end, you'll be feeling better because you feel better about yourself and that's where happiness really comes from

[Jay]

Yes, well we cannot blame our parents for our negatives, even though they may have influenced, we ultimately are responsible for our thoughts.

I completely concur, also when you dive into the history of your own parents a bit it makes it easier to accept their behaviours, and makes you better at understanding their motives for treating you the way they did. Also blaming makes you become stuck, and creates more feelings of anger and anxiety, because you're trying to get control over external sources, and that's like trying to control the weather. The only thing you really have control over is only yourself and the way you project yourself to the world.

... you'll be feeling better because you feel better about yourself and that's where happiness really comes from

I completely agree on that as well, it's also pretty liberating to know that it all depends on yourself on being happy, instead of being dependent on the moods of others. You have full control over that, it just depends on what you let through and how much value you give it, and the knowledge that it isn't necessary to think that someone else has a stronger reality of yourself, than that you have of yourself. But I'm still trying to work this out for myself

Also the bigger of a hole you dug for yourself, the bigger the reward when you manage to climb out of it.

[Majordomus]

Keep clearing that jungle, guys, keep clearing that jungle

[Jay]

Today pretty much sucked, woke up not feeling that centered and had tremendous social anxiety throughout the day, eye contact and focusing was a real problem, was more a burden while previous days it was spot on. I even avoided a group that was walking towards me, and headed quickly into another street because I couldn’t handle the thought that they were perhaps thinking something negative about me, even though I was sure I looked good. I also took it everything pretty personal like for example when someone passed me in traffic, the first thought that popped up was they thought I was a bad driver, even though I was following the speed limit and it was rush hour… It was really hard to get rid of thoughts like that. Crap mentality.

I think I have to stop watching those damn Asian exhibitionists and public nudists to keep my testosterone up. I’m starting to see a pattern of feeling worse the day after a fap session. Tomorrow I will feel better I'm sure.

On a lighter note, I’m noticing that the small hairs are starting to grow, and I’m pretty excited about that. You can only feel it, but from what I’ve read is that it starts with white downy hair, and eventually grows into normal hair. This is really amazing, and it's great to see progress already

[Ryan]

I went through the same stuff with my social anxiety, it sucks, but you should overcome it soon with that sub you're using

[Shannon]

One of the things Alpha male will do is steer you in the direction of only doing those things that support your self respect, self esteem, sense of self worth, pride to be a good man, etc. As that programming begins to take hold, there's a shift from doing what you used to do to doing what is self supporting, and that can sometimes be a turbulent shift as the old self destructive behaviors become incompatible.

[Ryan]

One of the things Alpha male will do is steer you in the direction of only doing those things that support your self respect, self esteem, sense of self worth, pride to be a good man, etc. As that programming begins to take hold, there's a shift from doing what you used to do to doing what is self supporting, and that can sometimes be a turbulent shift as the old self destructive behaviors become incompatible.

I've actually started noticing this. Lately, I've been bringing back my old video game habits (which I haven't played them in over a year) some days I want to just stay in and play them (even though I know they are no good for me), other days I won't even think about them. A lot of fluctuation going on with that right now.

[Jay]

One of the things Alpha male will do is steer you in the direction of only doing those things that support your self respect, self esteem, sense of self worth, pride to be a good man, etc. As that programming begins to take hold, there's a shift from doing what you used to do to doing what is self supporting, and that can sometimes be a turbulent shift as the old self destructive behaviors become incompatible.

Yes Shannon, I'm starting to notice the positive effects from AM as well, and being able to focus more on taking action. I’m starting to reconsider using these current programs from two months to only one and get back on the saddle again with Alpha Male (and keep using Stop and Reverse Hair Loss) after that. I’m glad though that I’ve taken my current decision for using LAY and OSA since it has opened a few doors in the meantime, and I’m able to get more breathing space and perspective/control on what depression really is (read a few books on the subject last two weeks; I can highly recommend “How to lift depression … fast” by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrell) and hopefully being more able to effectively prepare myself now for any negative uprising I may encounter when I start using Alpha Male again.

I’m also starting to think that using Overcoming Social Anxiety and Lover And Appreciate Yourself have been helping me clear of the negative pressure I felt during Alpha Male, and letting the positive effects behind it come to fruition. I’m noticing that I’m making more of a conscious effort on keeping myself healthy, along with being much more goal oriented, instead of procrastinating on a regular basis. And I have spent a lot less time on addictive tendencies lately.

For the last month my usual gaming sessions have declined from about 25 to 7 hours per week, and I’ve been avidly gaming for years now (screw my steam friends lol). This was one big noticeable difference for me. My alcohol consumption has dropped to zero since roughly a month, while I drank almost every other day (not being a heavy drinker though). For the most part I’ve stopped eating things that I regard as junk food (with the exception of pizza), have already been dealing with this for about a year but lacked consistency. Started going to the gym today as well, will keep this a weekly habit for a month and then go at it for 3 times a week. And for about three weeks have steadily taking in a range of different vitamins daily (with the exception of day or 2), also taking plenty of zinc which could be a possible reason for the growth of small downy hair on my bald spots.

Yesterday I’ve also put up a personal curfew to prohibit myself of using my laptop after 20:00, or watch TV (even though I haven’t done that since a few months now), since I could identify it as the main reason for still having terrible sleep patterns (Thanks, Jackie I really needed reminding of that) and works great for enabling depression (perhaps I’ll go into that another time). I’m currently just reading books to fill the time, but am still looking for alternatives to keep me busy in those two hours (my regular sleeping schedule is now 08:00 AM – 22:00 PM).

For the past few days I’ve also implemented writing up my goals for the next day (something I picked up a few years ago from Think and Grow Rich from Napoleon Hill I believe), and even though I started small I haven’t missed a single goal yet, and will continue this daily. It certainly has made me be a lot more productive the last couple of days.

Going to start on doing 7 mirror affirmations that help me with better accepting myself, a couple of personal ones on dealing with my anxiety, and a few directed at the future. No sexy mother****er for the time being . Will start doing morning visualizations again as well.

I’m also seeing the stuff that I read and did (or did not) for the past few years come into alignment, and I’m really seeing a resemblance in my current process (becoming healthy, self-sufficient, dealing with depression, sleep, social anxiety) with how I handled and conditioned myself on stopping smoking (basically seeing the positive from the negative, taking in a lot of information to support the positive, siphoning the good information from the bad and practice until it went right), I just hadn’t had the motivation to properly take action on the matter. I do now.

I just wish that OSA would provide more of an instant reaction, since I'm still hitting walls throughout the day that are pretty unnecessary, oh well.

Yeah, tl;dr I know

[Shannon]

OSA provides as quick a response as is possible. Believe me. It isn't taking it's time.

As for the "no sexy mofo" comment - you are not sexy because of affirmations. You are sexy because you ARE sexy. That doesn't need affirmations, once it's in place. To achieve it, become it. Once you become it, it's automatic.

[Jay]

OSA provides as quick a response as is possible. Believe me. It isn't taking it's time.

As for the "no sexy mofo" comment - you are not sexy because of affirmations. You are sexy because you ARE sexy. That doesn't need affirmations, once it's in place. To achieve it, become it. Once you become it, it's automatic.

I really have to put up a anti-whine filter on my posts. I know the subliminals are working as efficient as they possibly can. I only have to be patient with myself, and let the subliminals do what they're intended to do. By whining here or making myself dependent of them I'm not going to change a damn thing. I'm actually very grateful for having the opportunity to make use of these programs, and being able to change myself through it.

I put that "no sexy mofo" comment up more as a reference to any Cory Skyy users here, (instead of the "If I could clone myself I would **** myself", which is just plain weird in a sense), I wouldn't use that one since I don't want to attract mom's But you're absolutely right, affirmations in itself are only words, and you have to embody and align yourself to those words to give it meaning.

I can tell myself I'm the best ice hockey player in the world all day long, but if I would enter a hockey court without any practice or preparation and just solely rely on affirmations or wishful thinking I simply would get slaughtered out there.

A bit like this guy, even though he created an environment for himself where his students actually gave it meaning, as soon as he fought with someone from outside his environment, reality dawned on him, and it hurt.

[Jay]

Weekly Summary:

Overcome Social Anxiety, Love and Appreciate Yourself

• I’m opening up a bit more to people, more direct.
  
• Less apologetic and reserved.
  
• Not exactly ecstatic with life, just more of a sense of balance.
  
• Get a little less annoyed by unnecessary noises (dripping faucets, doors that open/close by pressure of wind, tv feedback).
  
• More relaxed when dealing with people over the phone, would usually build up a lot of anxiety around that and put it off as much as possible, more action prone on dealing with this.
  
• Dreams are getting more weird, and some I could see as exercises for dealing with social situations, there were a bunch of them that left an impression throughout the day.
  
• In some cases I was less concerned about the thoughts about other people, but in other cases I went into hide-mode.
  
• Loosening up of back and neck.
  
• With Alpha Male I had the sense of having a small ball of fire burning inside my chest, it now appears more as a solid, and I keep picturing it red/milky red for some reason.
  
• A certain type of cloudiness in the mind that I had from the age of 16 to 20 came up again, when I explored that ‘sensation’ a tight sense of sorrow came up. I think my social anxiety was at it’s worst at the age of 16, so I will explore that a bit further for possible causes.
  

Stop and Reverse Hair Loss

• In the time using SRHL I’ve had two events that seemed triggered caused major itching at my bald spots.
  
• On some days the itching sensation resorted to sporadic mild wavy itching that lasted for a minute tops, haven't noticed much itching for the last couple of days.
  
• I’ve noticed small downy hair growing there, you can’t see it but you can definitely feel it.
  

Afterthoughts:

I'm noticing less changes with these subliminals than with those I used previously, it just all seems less forthcoming, more subtle. Most changes I can see as an effect from using OSA, but it's pretty hard to lay my finger on any changes brought forth by Love and Appreciate Yourself. Still I'm only just starting week 3.

[Spiral]

In your case I would not expect to see many changes within the first month or two. You are using 3 subs at once which is not advised. Once you get through your 4 month I bet things will be alot better for you... you will be able to look back on when you started and you can see how far you've come. That will be more motivation in itself to stay strong and continue. Shannon also said Physical changes are recommended to be used alone. They will not work well or as fast when used with mentally changing subs.

I'm glad that you are seeing some improvement though which is great!

[Jay]

Yeah, you're right. Using multiple (with a max of three) subliminals will definitely slow down the process, what I haven't clearly mentioned is that for the most part I've always used more than one subliminal at a time (except for the ASC sub, which I used solo for a week, and AM for two weeks while being in the process), and always got really obvious results pretty fast. I compared and based my findings on that.

I'm starting to think that the single capsule speaker (XMI X-Mini I) I've used since the start of these subliminals could be a possible cause, since it would mean ~10 hours less exposure per day.

[suzylyne]

Hey Jay, how are you going with the social anxiety sub? I've been following your post as I was thinking about doing that one too. Its just so hard to choose 3 as you know. I started feeling anxious with some that I was doing as well & after reading your post the other week, went back to extreme self esteem & ASC. This seems to be a better starting point for me and I've noticed alot of results in a week already. Its funny I did the soc. anxiety one for a week & there wasn't really anything noticable but the self est. made a difference straight away.
Anyway... look forward to your updates.
suzylyne